People who tell you to stop losing weight...

Options
13

Replies

  • eviegreen
    eviegreen Posts: 123 Member
    Options
    I'm sure some people's criticisms stem from a place of emotional insecurity, but I honestly believe that many people equate a large weight loss with a sudden unhealthy eating pattern. Really. There are so many misconceptions about weight loss (and ads that encourage people to follow unhealthy diet plans) that some people easily assume that if you're losing a lot of weight, you must either be severely restricting your calories, or following some terrible fad diet. So I really believe they're saying this out of ignorance.
  • Adubmarie87
    Adubmarie87 Posts: 41 Member
    Options
    You are almost there!! Keep going til you make YOUR goal. Forget everyone else, this is for you!!
  • richcreighton
    Options
    I do not have any friends that I would consider "in shape" so I would simply ignore their comments.
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
    Options
    "Thanks, I'll take that into consideration."

    And then you keep on doing you.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    Options
    I think people just get so shocked by how different we look when we lose weight. They have no idea what a healthy weight is for us so the drastic difference just throws them off because they are so used to the puffier versions of us! I have had lots of comments this summer where people have said, "You look great, but you're done right?" I just say, "well, somewhat, but there's still room for improvement." Ultimately I am happy where I am right now, but I know I could continue to improve. Don't worry about what other people say though!!
  • jazee11
    jazee11 Posts: 321
    Options
    I think the people that say that mean it as a compliment. They don't know what your BMI should be or what your goal weight is. I would say thanks for such a great compliment and mention how you are not used to hearing don't lose the weight. End it with that and a friendly smile.
  • vickthedick
    vickthedick Posts: 136 Member
    Options
    I literally tell people to shut up now, I am also sick of people commenting about weight and saying I have lost too much / should stop dieting etc (my BMI is 23, for a female, I am just in the healthy range) so I will stop when I am happy, not when other people tell me too.


    Maybe i should start doing this. My bmi is 20 and people break my proverbial balls so hard and im a pretty non confrontational person but the constant harping irks me. People should worry less about what I'm eating and more about whatthey are
  • samlankford
    Options
    :glasses: get it all the time... I am 5'6, 125 lbs... I tell them that muscle looks different then fat that is why it looks like I am thinner then I really am... just blow them off
  • samlankford
    Options
    My mom does this. She tells me I shouldn't be losing weight, even though I am still well overweight (188 pounds at 5'10").
    She keeps telling me to eat and tries to feed me cookies and french fries.

    I just smile (sometimes slightly sarcastically) and keep dieting. When she cooks something unhealthy for dinner, I just adjust the rest of my day by eating more veggies at lunch, exercising and eating slightly less.
    I just keep telling myself that I am only living with my parents temporarily and I will be out in no time (I'm looking for work after I graduated a couple of months ago, without my student loan coming in I can't afford a place of my own).

    lol yeah my mom did that for a while (i am doing insanity/ the asylum/ and already did p90x2), I walk the parking garage at work and run up and down each of the three stair wells (4 stories high) 7 times.. I drink protein shakes, a meal replacement shake (shakeology) in the morning, eat lots of veggies and very lean protein... she kept pushing greasy food, stuff drenched in butter, and sweets like you would not believe.. I just flat out asked her if she wanted me to poop all over the house because that is what that type of food will do to my system... she pretty much stopped after that.. I had to move back home after going through a divorce, least I am rid of ex and I got my dogs to keep me company in that CRAZY house... as soon as the house sells and I don't have to pay mortgage I am outta the folks house, hate being there with a passion...
  • sunnykt
    Options
    They probably just need time to get used to the new way you look.
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    Options
    I have had more than a few people ask when I am going to stop my weight loss, implying that I should not try to keep going. Started off at ~275 lbs, lost 50 lbs on OPTIFAST and have since lost 15 more. My personal goal is to get down to about 190 lbs. However, some of my co-workers and friends say that is too much and I should stop now. I am only 5'11", so am just now "overweight" on the BMI scale.

    Anyone else have this issue? What do you say or how do you respond? Should I just "smile and nod"?

    Once you start on this journey you are swimming against the stream in a society that embraces obesity and too much food. The sooner you stop caring what they think and brush it all aside and just do what you know is best for you the better off you will be. Even when you hit maintenance, this is key. You will find who your true friends are you will have many.
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    Options
    They probably just need time to get used to the new way you look.

    And yes this is true too. Some get used to it and some never like it.
  • nicholettebell
    Options
    It is so annoying. I have a list of things I say, depending on who the person is. I've said, "Well of course you think I'm losing too much weight...you saw me at 300+ pounds" and "You've never seen me naked" :laugh:

    But sometimes, if I'm not feeling too catty, I will explain for my height and frame size and current weight that I am still technically overweight and assure them that I do know what I am doing.

    For those who don't really know me, but, for some reason feel the need to say something, I will respond back, "Thank you for your concern, but this is my business."
  • Voncreepy2
    Voncreepy2 Posts: 1,450 Member
    Options
    What the hell is wrong with people!

    I get this, too, in another form. I am 5-6, and I started out at 165 lbs. Well over weight- I have a small frame. But I am also a curvy woman and I can dress cleverly, so whenever a person hears my weight, then looks at me, they are surprised, some even shocked- because somehow I am still a size 12, and I 'carry my weight well'. They then tell me I don't need to loose weight b/c I 'look fine' and 'you can't even tell you weigh that much'.

    I think I don't find support, Mostly b/c my weight loss hampers their life in some way, by me not being able to attend family meals b/c it consists of fried meat and buttered things, or my polite refusal of some heavily frosted dessert. People are conatantly trying to subvert my efforts.

    First of all, my weight loss is my personal choice to be healthier. It is no ones business but my own. And I plan to loose as much as I want. When I weighed 135, I was a size 8. That is my goal. And I know full well that my family will tell me it is too thin, blah blah blah.

    When you encounter someone like this, look them straight in the eye, and stare at them for ten straight seconds without saying a word.Then completely change the subject, as if their comment never happened.
    I have the same problem!!! It's for OUR own health. We just have to remember that, I guess.
  • Amy_Lynn74
    Amy_Lynn74 Posts: 134 Member
    Options
    Thanks for all the good info. I don't think anyone means to be negative. I generally just point out that I am still overweight in the eyes of my doctor. I don't want to offend anyone, but also want them to know that I plan to continue to get healthier.

    I did something similar when someone asked me when I was going to stop losing. I told them that I discussed it with my doctor and have a goal based on that.
  • dittmarml
    dittmarml Posts: 351 Member
    Options
    I've thought alot about this because I let myself get sucked in by it and use it as an excuse to lose motivation (not happening this time!)

    - Most people no longer know what a healthy weight looks like. Much (not all) of Western culture is increasingly obese. In the U.S., approaching 2/3 of the adult population is overweight. So people really don't know what healthy "looks like"
    - The human brain notices change. If they just met you at your current weight they would probably not think you too thin. But they have a different "vision" of you in their heads and it's the change that's jumping out at them.
    - Weight loss is hard and takes discipline. Some people do take success in others as an indictment of themselves. It's like drinkers who want friends to keep drinking with them and react angrily or with attempts at sabotage when a friend stops.

    I really like the poster who said "treat it as a compliment" because they're recognizing your achievement. I think that's really positive. I've started saying "I'm working with a doctor" and letting it go - but now I think I'll just say "thanks, I appreciate it" and move on.

    It is, as so many have posted, about you and your life.
  • ang3la11
    Options
    I don't think there is ever a reason to respond rudely no matter how rude others are. I like to say something along the lines of ' I am going to stop when I've become the best that I can be. Thank you for noticing my efforts.' Then insert the biggest smile you've got.
    Try not to let yourself get into a defensive mindset.
    Congratulations on your success! I too have lost 50 pounds. Don't you feel great!
    Embrace your inner warrior :happy: Stay strong my friends!!
  • honey_bee_keysha
    honey_bee_keysha Posts: 773 Member
    Options
    Usually I try to ignore them. There are always going to be people who will not accept a smaller you. It's just a reflection of their own insecurities.
  • luckyclover78
    luckyclover78 Posts: 115 Member
    Options
    I think it has to do with either their own insecurities and the fact that we are living in a society full of overweight and obese people. I truly believe that people really do not recognize what a healthy weight looks like anymore. Do what is right for you that is the most important part.
  • Domi_BTGfit
    Options
    Although I think the BMI range can be BS (my husband would be anorexic if his "stocky" build were to go down to his BMI maximum) but when you hit the MINIMUM number on the BMI range, I think that is time to stop.