Lamest pick-up lines EVER!!..

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13

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  • agarlits
    agarlits Posts: 429 Member
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    "Nice shoes, wanna f**k?"

    "I like your dress. It would look great on my floor"

    Haha, I would have used these when I was in college I think! Course now if I said them, my wife would just look at me and be like, it's not the 3rd Saturday of the month yet, so...NO! :sad:

    I'm definetly not getting married! Lol
  • JoyousMaximus
    JoyousMaximus Posts: 9,285 Member
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    My hubby will come up and say, "Brown Chicken Brown Cow".... he thinks he's funnier than he is :laugh: :laugh:
    I think that joke is funny but as a request for sex.. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
  • kandyjo
    kandyjo Posts: 4,648 Member
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    :laugh:
    I havenothing to contribute but this topic is awesome.
    :laugh: THanks!
  • agarlits
    agarlits Posts: 429 Member
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    Don't you know me from somewhere?
  • agarlits
    agarlits Posts: 429 Member
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    Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
  • kandyjo
    kandyjo Posts: 4,648 Member
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    "Nice shoes, wanna f**k?"

    "I like your dress. It would look great on my floor"

    Haha, I would have used these when I was in college I think! Course now if I said them, my wife would just look at me and be like, it's not the 3rd Saturday of the month yet, so...NO! :sad:

    I'm definetly not getting married! Lol


    Let me say that NOT ALL MARRIAGES ARE LIKE THAT!!! Seriously...my husband and I are almost an everyday love fest :laugh: Kind of private to share, but I had to save the face of marriage!! :wink: Sometimes, we even go at it more than once a day...:blushing: Ok, now I'm embarassed.... BUT marriage is WONDERFUL!!! :smile:
  • kandyjo
    kandyjo Posts: 4,648 Member
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    My hubby will come up and say, "Brown Chicken Brown Cow".... he thinks he's funnier than he is :laugh: :laugh:
    I think that joke is funny but as a request for sex.. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

    yEAH!!! I'm the one who told him the joke in the first place! :laugh: He just thinks he's being adorable! :bigsmile:
  • kandyjo
    kandyjo Posts: 4,648 Member
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    Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.


    yeah, I would be like, "you lost me at 'excuse me'" :laugh:
  • JoyousMaximus
    JoyousMaximus Posts: 9,285 Member
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    My hubby will come up and say, "Brown Chicken Brown Cow".... he thinks he's funnier than he is :laugh: :laugh:
    I think that joke is funny but as a request for sex.. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
    yEAH!!! I'm the one who told him the joke in the first place! :laugh: He just thinks he's being adorable! :bigsmile:
    :laugh:
  • agarlits
    agarlits Posts: 429 Member
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    Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
  • agarlits
    agarlits Posts: 429 Member
    Options
    "Nice shoes, wanna f**k?"

    "I like your dress. It would look great on my floor"

    Haha, I would have used these when I was in college I think! Course now if I said them, my wife would just look at me and be like, it's not the 3rd Saturday of the month yet, so...NO! :sad:

    I'm definetly not getting married! Lol


    Let me say that NOT ALL MARRIAGES ARE LIKE THAT!!! Seriously...my husband and I are almost an everyday love fest :laugh: Kind of private to share, but I had to save the face of marriage!! :wink: Sometimes, we even go at it more than once a day...:blushing: Ok, now I'm embarassed.... BUT marriage is WONDERFUL!!! :smile:
    Embrarrassed? Didn't you start a topic about sexercizing a few months back?
  • kandyjo
    kandyjo Posts: 4,648 Member
    Options
    "Nice shoes, wanna f**k?"

    "I like your dress. It would look great on my floor"

    Haha, I would have used these when I was in college I think! Course now if I said them, my wife would just look at me and be like, it's not the 3rd Saturday of the month yet, so...NO! :sad:

    I'm definetly not getting married! Lol


    Let me say that NOT ALL MARRIAGES ARE LIKE THAT!!! Seriously...my husband and I are almost an everyday love fest :laugh: Kind of private to share, but I had to save the face of marriage!! :wink: Sometimes, we even go at it more than once a day...:blushing: Ok, now I'm embarassed.... BUT marriage is WONDERFUL!!! :smile:
    Embrarrassed? Didn't you start a topic about sexercizing a few months back?


    LOL>...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Look who has the memory of an elephant!!! :tongue: You're not supposed to recall everything.... I was trying to have a little tact here....Didn't want to rub it in the BOSS's face that not all wives withhold sex from their husbands :wink: Some like it just as often as their man :bigsmile:
  • kandyjo
    kandyjo Posts: 4,648 Member
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    Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

    this would cause concern on a number of levels...:huh:
  • agarlits
    agarlits Posts: 429 Member
    Options
    "Nice shoes, wanna f**k?"

    "I like your dress. It would look great on my floor"

    Haha, I would have used these when I was in college I think! Course now if I said them, my wife would just look at me and be like, it's not the 3rd Saturday of the month yet, so...NO! :sad:

    I'm definetly not getting married! Lol


    Let me say that NOT ALL MARRIAGES ARE LIKE THAT!!! Seriously...my husband and I are almost an everyday love fest :laugh: Kind of private to share, but I had to save the face of marriage!! :wink: Sometimes, we even go at it more than once a day...:blushing: Ok, now I'm embarassed.... BUT marriage is WONDERFUL!!! :smile:
    Embrarrassed? Didn't you start a topic about sexercizing a few months back?


    LOL>...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Look who has the memory of an elephant!!! :tongue: You're not supposed to recall everything.... I was trying to have a little tact here....Didn't want to rub it in the BOSS's face that not all wives withhold sex from their husbands :wink: Some like it just as often as their man :bigsmile:
    What you mean is that some wives have very lucky husbands!
  • kandyjo
    kandyjo Posts: 4,648 Member
    Options
    "Nice shoes, wanna f**k?"

    "I like your dress. It would look great on my floor"

    Haha, I would have used these when I was in college I think! Course now if I said them, my wife would just look at me and be like, it's not the 3rd Saturday of the month yet, so...NO! :sad:

    I'm definetly not getting married! Lol


    Let me say that NOT ALL MARRIAGES ARE LIKE THAT!!! Seriously...my husband and I are almost an everyday love fest :laugh: Kind of private to share, but I had to save the face of marriage!! :wink: Sometimes, we even go at it more than once a day...:blushing: Ok, now I'm embarassed.... BUT marriage is WONDERFUL!!! :smile:
    Embrarrassed? Didn't you start a topic about sexercizing a few months back?


    LOL>...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Look who has the memory of an elephant!!! :tongue: You're not supposed to recall everything.... I was trying to have a little tact here....Didn't want to rub it in the BOSS's face that not all wives withhold sex from their husbands :wink: Some like it just as often as their man :bigsmile:
    What you mean is that some wives have very lucky husbands!


    An even better way to put it!! :laugh: :bigsmile:
  • kandyjo
    kandyjo Posts: 4,648 Member
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    Hey, agarlits....here's one for your collection....

    My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • JoyousMaximus
    JoyousMaximus Posts: 9,285 Member
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    Hey, agarlits....here's one for your collection....

    My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast

    :laugh: :laugh:
    :laugh: I am so going to use that.
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    "Nice shoes, wanna f**k?"

    "I like your dress. It would look great on my floor"

    Haha, I would have used these when I was in college I think! Course now if I said them, my wife would just look at me and be like, it's not the 3rd Saturday of the month yet, so...NO! :sad:


    I'm definetly not getting married! Lol


    Let me say that NOT ALL MARRIAGES ARE LIKE THAT!!! Seriously...my husband and I are almost an everyday love fest :laugh: Kind of private to share, but I had to save the face of marriage!! :wink: Sometimes, we even go at it more than once a day...:blushing: Ok, now I'm embarassed.... BUT marriage is WONDERFUL!!! :smile:

    Whoa whoa whoa, let me be clear, it's not cuz we don't WANT to, it's because we are usually too tired from work and can't even sit down together until about 8:00 or 8:30 at night (after being up since about 5 am), we both work very hard every day, and between the gym, the office, and daily chores, we don't have a heck of a lot of time for anything else (we both work about 10 hours a day plus commute). Most days I wouldn't change my life for anything (ok, maybe to be the left hander in the Boston Red Sox starting rotation, but other than that...)

    Trust me, we're not bored with sex, or tired of it, and by the way, that was a little of an exaggeration, it's a bit more than that.
  • kandyjo
    kandyjo Posts: 4,648 Member
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    "Are you free tonight, or will it cost me"?
  • JoyousMaximus
    JoyousMaximus Posts: 9,285 Member
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    "Are you free tonight, or will it cost me"?
    I would slap a guy if he said that.

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