Memory boxes from past relationships

eeeekie

I have one. It's at my parents house. They are like tattoos...big part of my life for such a long time. Why throw away stuff that once meant so much to me? I have no want or need to be with my ex any longer but that time in my life was happy so why throw it away. I wouldn't keep it at my apartment (which I share with my current boyfriend) that would be a bit disrespectful to my boyfriend and our relationship.

chivalryder

I burned the only one I ever made...

bulbadoof

Why is there so much stress on getting "over" what was such an important part of your life that you decided to keep pieces of it? To move on and forget about an experience that helped you to grow as a person, whether it ended well or poorly, is ungrateful imo. And burning their stuff is a waste of perfectly good things - if you can't return it for some reason, it hurts you too much to hold on to, and it still has some practical use, I'm sure a shelter would be more than happy to take it off your hands!

I don't keep memory boxes because I am TERRIBLE at holding on to things. I'd lose half the things I wanted to put in it long before I even got home! :laugh: However, I fondly look back on and appreciate all of my exes and the time I spent with them, because without the things I learned from them, without the mistakes we both made, I wouldn't be where I am today. I'm still friends with many of them, and often their new girlfriends too!

Maybe I only feel this way because I ended about 90% of my past relationships on good terms, though. I guess some people aren't as fortunate.

Molly_Maguire

I find this practice to be creepy as hell. Exes are exes for very good reasons. Even if you stay good friends afterwards---you ARE friends, so wtf do you need a memory box, for?? And if you're not friends, well, that indicates you're living in the past, and are not over him/her. Get rid of their crap.

ldrosophila

Did she pass while they were still in the relationship or before?

Personally, I get rid of everything.

waronmyfat

I still have scrapbook albums of my ex husband and I ... they just sit in a box packed away no idea what to do with them really..... same with family photos of us and the kids etc I suppose I keep onto them more so for the kids when they wanted to look at their daddy as we live in different towns 8 hours apart

tgh1914

Interesting topic. I actually do have one from a 2 yr relationship from about 15 yrs ago (or part of it anyway). I actually felt bad about throwing some of it away; she put a LOT of work into some of the stuff. I don't feel an attachment anymore, but some of the stuff was really creative & stuff. And it wasn't like a nasty break-up or anything - mostly just a very unrealistic relationship (it became long distance and some lifestyle differences).

My SO at the time was kinda bothered when she saw it, so after I explained my view I asked her what she thought I could keep without it bothering her too much. I ended up keeping some of the mix tapes (yeah, tapes, I'm old) and some of the hand-crafted stuff, but not letters & pics.

oliv2065

I don't have one. I have a few things my Ex husband gave me but I keep them for our daughter. I do have a lot of ex's who are still friends. Some I work with on a regular basis (usually it is daily) and some I even work with now

arewethereyet

Sure. It has his hair, a piece of his clothing.......ya know for the next time I go to New Orleans




:laugh:

shellebelle87

My husband has a box. It's his d_ck in a box.

I have had that damn song in my head for the past hour!!!

i_love_vinegar

I keep most stuff, until my next boyfriend finds the stuff. If he wants me to throw it away, I do without questions. Otherwise I keep them just to remember what was going on during that part of my life.

I won't throw out jewelery or anything expensive though. o-o But no objections to tossing cards or what not. I've been told that I'm not a very sentimental person, but even I will keep stuff.

alleycat88

Did she pass while they were still in the relationship or before?

Personally, I get rid of everything.

She committed suicide shortly after they broke up.

I don't really see it as people not being over it. Like I said I don't have one. Several reasons. I move a lot, lose a lot, etcetc.

Some very interesting answers!

ashesfromfire

I've kept a medley of things from past relationships (I also obsessively collect ticket stubs for no reason, so movies/concert/shows and yadda yadda from the past I have)
I agree - it's not an "I haven't moved on" thing (I've been in a wonderful relationship for nearly 4 years) but just a visual collection of my past. Like reading an old diary - it's reflective. It's not like there's anything super creep in there - like locks of hair. But pictures and some small trinkets

paul7799

I have one, I still have it, been over a year and I have yet to throw it out. I don't want to forget her. She's married by now but I am single.

lookingforsomething

I keep some stuff - but not other stuff from previous relationships and my first marriage
That part of my life is over but it's not like it never happened - I talk about it if people ask - my husband knows all about it so it's not like a secret.

I don't see the point in pretending it never happened or not talking about it. It's not like every day I open the conversation with "when I was married to ****** before you..."

Some things you keep cause they have different meanings and they may bring back good memories of past relationships - not everything was a horrid memeory.

Tank_Girl

I dont keep anything, I either give stuff back to the ex, give it to charity shops (thrift stores) or burn it.
If I could get my memory erased as well I would.

alleycat88

I dont keep anything, I either give stuff back to the ex, give it to charity shops (thrift stores) or burn it.
If I could get my memory erased as well I would.

see, I think that is sad. our relationships help mold us into the people we become. I have learned A LOT in most if not all my relationships, both good and bad. I have learned how I want to be treated, how I should treat my SO and what mistakes to never make again.

My SO and I had a fight this morning about a package. He couldn't see it in his room so he made me think it hadn't arrived and then he got huffy and puffy when I told him to look for it. We argue about silly stuff like this all the time(and sometimes I don't understand why I put up with his moody butt other than I love him), but IF we break up, I won't ever say "Oh God, i wish I could erase him from my past."

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

I have one for one of my ex-bf where I put all his pics, gifts (except for the shirt that I'm still wearing), love letters & incidentally he confessed that he also has one with all my pics & stuff. We're still on very good terms to this day & also incidentally we're both single hehe.

But normally I get rid of everything except for him, dunno what's happening in my head :P

magj0y

Did she pass while they were still in the relationship or before?

Personally, I get rid of everything.

She committed suicide shortly after they broke up.

I don't really see it as people not being over it. Like I said I don't have one. Several reasons. I move a lot, lose a lot, etcetc.

Some very interesting answers!

That is so sad!!

I never knew people thought this kind of thing was creepy. I haven't opened mine in awhile.. because it has a compilation of things other than past relationships with guys, I probably dig into it more often than others. I think it'd be weird if my husband had a problem with me keeping photos of people who are no longer apart of my life, but were important at the time. it's just mementos of my life.

hbrittingham

I have pictures and a photo album from when I was married to my ex husband. The only reason I hold onto them is because we had a child together. When my son gets settled into a long term place to live, I'll be giving them all to him. I have no desire to look at them or remember the horrible marriage I had with him. The only good thing that came out of it was my son and that's the only reason I don't regret having been married to the man.

I have been with my current husband for 22 years. If something happened to him, I am positive that I would hold onto anything that would bring back the good memories we have shared. Unless we broke up for some reason, but that's not going to happen.