people that are poison ...

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  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
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    My sister is one of those people, and through living with her and knowing her so closely I have come to understand that those people say those sorts of things because they are as abusive to themselves as they are to other people - they need to externalize some of it to escape the feelings that come from dealing with that sort of negativity 24/7. I'd even go as far as to venture that the alcohol abuse is another form of escape from their own mind.

    Knowing this, I tend to forgive them easily and even feel a little bit sorry for them. I go out of the way to do nice things for them and try not to snap back when they make remarks. It hurts and it's unfair, but at the end of the day, you're not them; you only have to deal with these things when they come out of someone else's mouth, as opposed to being bombarded with them all the time by your own thoughts.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    Always remember that there are two kinds of people you shouldn't ever bother giving the time of day to: *kitten* and idiots. Sounds like you've got a double whammy in your neighbor.
  • _EmmaStrong_
    _EmmaStrong_ Posts: 648 Member
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    Do no react, in any way. I know that sounds like the wrong thing to do, but if you react to the him, you are rewarding him. Letting him know he has power over your emotions. Don’t allow the him to EVER have control over how you feel. Ignore his sorry *kitten*. He does not deserve any kind of attention from you. You DESERVE better.

    Congratulation on your 56 lb. weightloss! That is spectacular! :heart:
  • SavageRabidBeast
    SavageRabidBeast Posts: 481 Member
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    If I were you my response would have been "Alcohol piece of crap is still home". Don't let him get you down though. Some people are just complete *kitten*. It's most likely cuz he feels miserable about his own crappy life. Big hugz to you
  • GCLyds
    GCLyds Posts: 206 Member
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    If I were you my response would have been "Alcohol piece of crap is still home". Don't let him get you down though. Some people are just complete *kitten*. It's most likely cuz he feels miserable about his own crappy life. Big hugz to you

    "Alcohol piece of crap is still alive"

    Fixed that for you.
  • missjennifer1966
    missjennifer1966 Posts: 143 Member
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    Just remind yourself where this is coming from - a drunken idiot who probably can't see straight. :laugh:

    Exactly this!! Plus he must be very miserable. Gotta feel sorry for idjits sometimes:)
  • poodlegoat
    poodlegoat Posts: 49 Member
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    I know how you feel. When someone upsets me., Im tissed off for the whole day. And it could just be one person. The way I try to deal with it usually a friendly persons attitude pus me in a good mood
  • kickers19
    kickers19 Posts: 63 Member
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    Take a bag of dog SH$T and light it on fire on his front steps and ring his bell and run.

    This
  • Ewaldt
    Ewaldt Posts: 106 Member
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    Um, you remind yourself that you are a freaking rockstar to have gotten so far already!!!! That is an AMAZING accomplishment!! You are taking what you had, and making yourself healthier and better for it. You respect your body enough to want to make the best of the life that you have and this person OBVIOUSLY does not have the same going for them!! If all else fails, be thankful you are not a hopeless imbecile like they are!
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
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    Unfortunately I have a case of a very bad neighbour (alcoholic, verbally abusive towards us) .... today he announced loudly "our fat neighbour is home" .. .after working so hard and losing 56 pounds ... this hit me hard.

    I guess my question is .. how do you not let little things like this bog you down?
    Say something genuinely nice back in return.
    Always do that.
    If an opportunity arises to do something kind/helpful, do it.
    When you think about him, plan a good reaction toward him at next meeting.
    Never say anything unkind, and end all negative conversions with others that anyone else starts.

    It will stop.
    And you will be free as a bird:)
    Love your response! OP no one can take away your hard work and pride in it unless you give them the power to. Others can't hurt us unless we allow them too. I'm not there yet but I'm working on being stronger at keeping that at the front of my mine so it will become natural to not worry what others words are.

    Congrats, well done!!!:drinker: :heart:
  • Flixie00
    Flixie00 Posts: 1,195 Member
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    You prove him wrong, carry on with your weight loss and become slim. He's just a knob head, but you can use his stupid comments as extra motivation to reach your goal.

    Congrats on your loss so far :flowerforyou:
  • Chgosportsgal
    Chgosportsgal Posts: 38
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    You don't...consider the source..a loud mouth alcoholic who hates his existence so much that he has to drown himself in booze so he doesn't have to think about. And next time he gets abusive...you may want to remind him of that...
  • juliedozier
    juliedozier Posts: 184 Member
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    Wow! People amaze me ... what an idiot. The only opinions I would worry about are the ones that matter. Obviously, not him!
  • Valleydachs
    Valleydachs Posts: 56
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    Really, this jerk doesn't deserve a reply. You are better than this idiot and to feed his sickness with a reply would be WAY counter-productive. Hold your head high and be proud of yourself and how far you've come.
  • KarenK37
    KarenK37 Posts: 125 Member
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    Consider the source! You are doing awesome with the weight you have lost! Screw people like that they are just bitter!
  • davert123
    davert123 Posts: 1,568 Member
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    Remember Alcoholism is a mental illness and he has no control over his drinking and most other things. Don't let the ramblings of a mad person get you down though. his verbal diarrhea is a symptom of the illness - a horrible and distressing one but a symptom all the same, Whatever he says won't be based on reality at all so don't take it personally.
  • zmzmzm19
    zmzmzm19 Posts: 155 Member
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    This saying comes to mind....."Take a lesson from your dog....kick some grass over that s**t and move on"!!!:laugh:
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
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    If I were you my response would have been "Alcohol piece of crap is still home". Don't let him get you down though. Some people are just complete *kitten*. It's most likely cuz he feels miserable about his own crappy life. Big hugz to you

    I would say this too!
  • Losing2Live69
    Losing2Live69 Posts: 743 Member
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    I am a recovering addict. Whether it be drugs or alcohol, remember that addiction is a disease. It makes us say and do things we would never do if clean and sober. I was a hateful, mean, out of control person when I was still using. I was very verbally abusive and said and did many horrible things when I was using. Don't take it personal. It was the alcohol talking. You are powerless over his behavior. You know you are doing good. Hold your head high.
  • davert123
    davert123 Posts: 1,568 Member
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    PS if you have any spiritual or religious conviction pray for him every night that he gets happiness and what he needs in life. I say this not to help him but to help you. You will be amazed what happens after a few weeks :-)

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