Deliberate Sabotage

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2

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  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,136 Member
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    I slap those people, across the face.
    leslieandpriscilla.gif
  • eecruzmd
    eecruzmd Posts: 119 Member
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    I haven't had that happen to me on the contrary my real friends are extremely supportive and don't talk about sweets although I've told them many times it doesn't bother me if they eat junk food in front of me.

    Your "friend" is not your friend. She needs to be cut out of your life like a bad habit, girl
  • LesaDave
    LesaDave Posts: 1,480 Member
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    However I do now have the "sabotage" song stuck in my head.

    HAHAHAHA!! Me too!!
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
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    My cat chewed the edges off one of my cork yoga blocks.....I wonder if it was deliberate?
  • LinaBo
    LinaBo Posts: 342 Member
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    I think you need to call her out on it. Friends are supposed to be supportive of, instead of sabotaging, each other. If she's struggling to lose weight too, then now is the time to partner up so that you can help each other get fit. If this doesn't resolve her behaviour, I would quickly make her another "ex-something" in your rear view.

    If you find yourself lingering with these saboteur-types in their various forms, throughout your life, it may be a behavioural pattern of yours that should give you some serious pause.
  • Jkmumma
    Jkmumma Posts: 254
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    That's ok... my GYM is conspiring against me. It might only be two blocks from my house, but I have to walk through a FOOD COURT to get to it... (True story)


    As far as your friend... yeah.. I had someone (no longer a friend) do that when I was quitting smoking. When I was a smoker, she NEVER offered me a smoke. After I announced I was quitting, ever time she lit up, she would offer. Either confront them, develop will power of iron or steel enough to say no to all of it, stop being their friend, or suck it up and work out more. Whatever works out for you.
  • gazelleintraining
    gazelleintraining Posts: 107
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    I had (*note the past tense) a friend who would get very passive aggressive and competitive with me if I did not overindulge with her at restaurants and bakeries. It was ludicrous. I tried talking to her about it and she denied it. Then I tried doing other activities with her besides food-based ones, and it got far worse. I realized that she was looking for less of a friend and more for someone to binge eat with her. It was very frustrating and honestly disappointing. I thought we had more of a friendship than that. So sad.
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
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    My cat chewed the edges off one of my cork yoga blocks.....I wonder if it was deliberate?

    Seriously? Of course. Cats are f'ing evil.
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
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    My husband is fantastic though! Does that help?!
    And in a way it kinda motivated me to work harder, I'll succeed despite her. I feel sorry for her too, she's not doing well at anything these days.
    I have another friend who is losing weight with me though, so there is balance in my life, and of course MFP, =)
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
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    My cat chewed the edges off one of my cork yoga blocks.....I wonder if it was deliberate?

    Seriously? Of course. Cats are f'ing evil.

    :laugh:
  • tammyr112
    tammyr112 Posts: 17
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    My boyfriend does! I think I finally got though to him though. He likes to offer me donuts...a huge weakness for me. And Subway meatball subs :(
  • atxdee
    atxdee Posts: 613 Member
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    wow why is everyone out to get you!
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
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    This person isn't your friend...

    ^^^My mom and ex mother in law would do things to sabotage my parenting, oh it was frustrating!!
    We were able to come to a comfortable compromise, thankfully.

    ..With friends like that...
  • Alliwan
    Alliwan Posts: 1,245 Member
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    Hubby is like this. he offers me food he knows i love after ive already eaten. bites of his food. will 'surprise' me with taco bell as a treat for..idk being me i guess. etc

    He's said he thinks ill find someone better than him if i get skinny and he LOVES me heavy so i know he does these things deliberately. Ive got to work on my own self-control so i can stop saying yes to all his treats.
  • Cuna77
    Cuna77 Posts: 75 Member
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    No shame at all she is not a friend. How dare she?
    Jealous she is that you are taking control.
    As one coffee pls what a b.........
    I just say now to all my favorites.
    We own a restaurant that I do most of cooking for as well as ethnic shop with my favorite candy but no means no.
    Find a friend who will support you in you goals.
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
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    wow why is everyone out to get you!

    Eek! I hope it's not like that! I guess part of it could be that normally I'm the person who does things for other people all the time, and lately I've been too busy to? I've started making time for me and exercise, haven't been baking for visitors etc? I still look after their kids and stuff but I guess I do shoo them out the door a bit quicker than I used to.
  • arcticfox04
    arcticfox04 Posts: 1,011 Member
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    I made one of best friends girlfriend to start smoking cigarettes again.

    Then my friend broke up with her because his best friend was allergic to tobacco =)

    Shame on people with dirty habits.
  • mandersatx
    mandersatx Posts: 86
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    I have dealt with the a few times in different environs. Basically what I've figured out is that some people are so afraid of change - even though it's YOUR change - that they subconciously try to keep you maintaining the status quo. As you lose weight, become more fit, start looking better, your success reminds her of her own apathy, "failure," lack of willpower, obesity, ect. When she sabotages you and you don't lose weight, it reaffirms in her mind that she "can't" lose weight either. ("I've tried everything and it just won't come off." "I think it's hormonal." "It's hereditary, so there's nothing I can do to change it.") If you succeed because you put in the effort, it's proof that should COULD do it, too. The reason she's not losing weight is her own fault, subconciously she knows it, but she's not ready to admit it to herself or put forth the effort required.

    The best thing you can do if it happens again is NOT drink it. YOUR success is in YOUR hands. Taking control of your own health means if you see her do something like that (and I've read earlier posts that you prefer to be nonconfrontational, which I completely understand!), wait til she's not looking, pour it down the sink, and make it the way you want it.

    Depending on the history you have with her, you can choose to show compassion and try to help her. Her own insecurities drive her behavior. If you know she's not going to change her behavior, you can choose to kick her to the curb. There is nothing wrong with growing apart from someone. Don't feel guilty for leaving a friendship that has become unbalanced. The person you must honor no matter what you decide is yourself.

    Good luck with your journey!
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
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    I have dealt with the a few times in different environs. Basically what I've figured out is that some people are so afraid of change - even though it's YOUR change - that they subconciously try to keep you maintaining the status quo. As you lose weight, become more fit, start looking better, your success reminds her of her own apathy, "failure," lack of willpower, obesity, ect. When she sabotages you and you don't lose weight, it reaffirms in her mind that she "can't" lose weight either. ("I've tried everything and it just won't come off." "I think it's hormonal." "It's hereditary, so there's nothing I can do to change it.") If you succeed because you put in the effort, it's proof that should COULD do it, too. The reason she's not losing weight is her own fault, subconciously she knows it, but she's not ready to admit it to herself or put forth the effort required.

    The best thing you can do if it happens again is NOT drink it. YOUR success is in YOUR hands. Taking control of your own health means if you see her do something like that (and I've read earlier posts that you prefer to be nonconfrontational, which I completely understand!), wait til she's not looking, pour it down the sink, and make it the way you want it.

    Depending on the history you have with her, you can choose to show compassion and try to help her. Her own insecurities drive her behavior. If you know she's not going to change her behavior, you can choose to kick her to the curb. There is nothing wrong with growing apart from someone. Don't feel guilty for leaving a friendship that has become unbalanced. The person you must honor no matter what you decide is yourself.

    Good luck with your journey!

    Thank you so much, =).
    I posted this topic thinking it'd help to hear other people's experiences and instead it's helped on a whole different level, :smile:
  • afitch311
    afitch311 Posts: 8 Member
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    I had a few friends that used to try to sabotage me. I eventually would avoid as much as possible outings with these people that involved food. I did have someone once actually bring me ice cream when I was trying to lose weight. I did not have the will power then that I do now and of course I ate it and was like, "k so today is ruined, may as well indulge today and restart tomorrow". Then of course it would be a week or so before I would get back on track. If you aren't willing to end the friendship (which is understandable, jealousy happens) then I'd just not do anything that involves food. Or like you said, work it off later. Or next time you see that your food was sabotaged, just pretend you didn't notice then make a comment about how it "tastes funny" then don't finish it. Best of luck!!!

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