Are you one of "Those" ex fatties!?

PJ64

I have been fit most my life. Got hurt, got LAZY gained weight. I stayed "Fat" for about 4 years. I found MFP thru a friend and have been slowly losing the weight. I am very close to my goal weight and LOTS of people have been noticing. I usually just say "thanks" and IF they ask how I let them know about this site and how I got back on the road to fitness.

I was at a meeting this morning and I brought Donuts for the crew. One of the guys asked which one I wanted and I said "I don't really eat those" which is true! I never have been a huge donut guy. He went off and said "OH! NOW you're Johnny fitness, but you were FAT a few months ago" I had to really think about it, am I one of "THOSE" ex-fatties, like the ex-smokers who get all preachy and have to bring it up in every conversation, but I like to think I'm not. I rarely talk about fitness or diet except on MFP. I don't even post "Going to the Gym" on Facebook lol!, even though I see many folks doing it. I have always been quiet about my personal life and fitness but it did make me think. I really don't want to be one of "THOSE".

SO, how do you handle the "How did you do it?" questions AND do you think you are one of "THOSE"

reese66

My opinion, I don't think you were being one of "those" types.

What I would have said, "I really have never care for donuts, have one if you like or don't either way I care for don't really like donuts."

I don't really think I am one of "those" types either, but I will tell you if you ask.

tistal

You dont have to justify your lack of love for donuts to anyone!

MommaKit79

Yelp, just tell him you havent ever really ate donuts...you arent one of "those" types. Now me on the other hand...LMBO!!!

I try not to be one of "Those" types because I know how annoying it was for me when others did it. BUT, I do answer if people ask. I tell them what I have done and what I am doing and just tell them I am enjoying it and dont plan on going back to looking and feeling the way I did before. :-)

appleseeds

work colleague "oh I could never depreive myself like you do, you know live once, you know"
me "yeah exactly, you only live once."

jenneal89

My opinion, I don't think you were being one of "those" types.

What I would have said, "I really have never care for donuts, have one if you like or don't either way I care for don't really like donuts."

I don't really think I am one of "those" types either, but I will tell you if you ask.

I agree!

I'm not one of 'THOSE' (although I can't be since I was 'fat' from gaining too much weight while pregnant) but if someone asks me how I lost the weight I tell them. I don't bring it up unless someone asks for fear of being one of 'those people'

LifeIsNotADressRehearsal

Doesn't sound like you are one of 'those'. Sounds like you made someone feel bad about their food choices which you can't do anything about! When I'm asked for specific details about how I did it, people want to hear that I found some 'magic pill'. When I tell them eating well and exercising, most lose interest in the conversation pretty quickly :laugh: Congrats on your weight loss and new lifestyle!

mdmcmillen

I would say no you weren't. If you would have said "and you should not eat them either", then you might have been one of them. I've had to zip my trap a few times in similar situations. People don't like it when you point out their bad decisions.

beccarockslife

I try not to be but it's a big part of my life at the moment, so generally I fail.

rml_16

Sounds like the guy was rude. You didn't do anything wrong. People who are defensive like that are usually projecting their own feelings. He probably felt guilty about eating a donut when someone else wasn't.

ber3023

You mean there's people that don't really like donuts?!!!! haha
I agree that stating it differently, that you really never cared for donuts, might have went over better. I'm not sure I'm quite "one of those ex fatties" however Monday morning's school breakfast was a pb&j uncrustable with a processed packaged pie thing as a fruit choice, along with canned fruit which I'm sure was in syrup. I wasn't one of "those" parents to say anything, hey breakfast there is free and don't have your kid eat it if you don't like it, but I kept thinking how I thought school cafeterias were making changes to healthier eating....
And I handle the questions by saying I did it all natural with better food choices and working out and I mention using MFP. Most people act shocked and wanna know about the surgery or the miracle pill. But can't tell them what they wanna hear if it's not true.

trijoe

If you were one of those types, wouldn't you have brought oatmeal and apple chips instead?

I don't eat pancakes, waffles, donuts, breakfast pastries, and that sort of stuff anymore. I used to, oh that's for sure. But not anymore. And I don't give a flying flip who cares why when what or how for my reasons for avoiding those foods. Anybody who wants to criticize my choices is clearly somebody I'm not wasting any time with anymore. And, yes, I've ended friendships for it. Life is too short to waste it trying to explain myself to condescending judgemental people.

And for the record, I've ended friendships with people who accuse me of being "Mr aren't you a badass now" and even more people who criticize me for not being "Aren't you a badass now" enough. There's little more annoying than somebody lecturing me on how my food choices are sooooo bad for me.

I guess if I had been in your situation, I would have said, "Here's some donuts. Eat them or don't. Your choice."

katcunock

I don't think I am one of those types, but I do worry that i bore my boyfriend who hears about it because I live with him.

I find it amusing when people ask me how i did it, and I just say I ate less and moved more, they seem somewhat disappointed. Like they expected a miracle cure.

peuglow

I probably would have cracked him in the face. He can use the donuts to feel better when he wakes up.

yoovie

Ugh I hate preachy ex smokers. AND new vegans.

Im lucky, as soon as I got halfway from fat to healthy I moved to a new state and started a new life so no one really knew me when I was twice this size. I don't think im preachy in real life, but im definitely one everyone knows is fitness-minded as a way of life. I explain when someone asks questions, but mostly im just notorious for getting people up off their *kitten*.

Maybe its cause I got fat cause of an injury as well. I was always fit except the few dark years after my wreck.

PJ64

Doesn't sound like you are one of 'those'. Sounds like you made someone feel bad about their food choices which you can't do anything about! When I'm asked for specific details about how I did it, people want to hear that I found some 'magic pill'. When I tell them eating well and exercising, most lose interest in the conversation pretty quickly :laugh: Congrats on your weight loss and new lifestyle!

It's not that I hate Donuts, Its just if I am going to eat some junk food (which I still do) I prefer blueberry muffins, which is WHY I brought Donuts instead of muffins

I get the "Magic pill , Shortcut" questions a lot too. I can usually weed out the really interested folks and the ones just asking casually.

allisona28

You look great!!!! Keep up the good work!! Sounds like dude was feeling a little jealous and wanted you to feel guilty for your success...I say smile and move on...!!!

MrGonzo05

I had a lot to lose, and I dropped the weight at about 10 lbs per month. People notice that sort of thing. I've been asked how I did it more times than I can count.

I don't blast out a lot of detail in response, because we all pretty much know how to lose weight. In most cases it is either a form of small talk, or the person meant "hey, congratulations on your weight loss!"

I open up to people who are trying and struggling, and are looking for advice. I also talk about bike rides/running/etc. with those who do similar things.

jaysonhijinx

I was at first cause I was trying to keep myself focused but realised that yes it probably was annoying people I was talking to and just would instead politely decline without adding anything else on the end.

emmaleigh47

I am not one of "those" people when it comes to weight loss, but I struggle because I might just be one of "those" people when it comes to running. I do not discuss weight loss, eating, etc. But I am known around the hospital as that crazy runner girl and people are always asking me about my next race, or my run scheduled that weekend ...so when they ask I tell them. And then they look at me like I am crazy ... there is something about answering the question "so what are you running this weekend?" with the answer "23 miles" that just make people look at you funny!

I do post my runs on Facebook, but a good portion of my Facebook friends are runners too. I dont post it in a "look what I did you should do it too" way I just post it so I have a record and others can comment if they choose to. I have received about one private message per month from one of my friends (usually from high school) who has told me that I inspire them, motivate them, or that they started running too.

TinGirl314

I have been saying 'I don't eat that anymore' recently.
Maybe I am one of those people. I only say it when they offer me crazy food though! 40 grams of fat muffins? have you not seen me walking two miles on my lunch breaks? LOL.

But seriously, I don't push anyone or insinuate that they should get healthier.
People like that ticked me off when I was heavy, so I don't want to make other people feel that way.

aforange

Sometimes I really don't mean to preach. Like when you gently decline someone offering you some chocolate or a chip and they get all mad at you, or somehow think you not wanting one means they should stop eating them! Because I've changed my lifestyle I'm eating clean and training hard every week, I've been trying to get my Mum (a huuuge coffee drinker) to get more water into her system every day because I know she's getting dehydrated and tired and crabby all the time.

It's even worse when people ASK you health related questions, like, "Is this good for you?" and you obviously reply with what they don't want to hear and they get all mean and rude with you for telling the truth that what they're eating is essentially junk and nice as a treat but not great to eat on a daily basis. I don't want to be one of those pompous, my-lifestyle-is-better-than-you types but I think honestly people just say things like that to get you down and to feel bad about yourself when really they're just feeling a little guilty about what they're doing to their own bodies.

Arexxx

Sometimes I get worried that I'm one of 'those'.

Eg, I was at the shops earlier and saw quite a large woman eating a mound of McDonalds. And all I thought was "That's not right." I was pretty disgusted with myself, what right do I have to judge? And when my extremely large friend orders KFC and soft drink, I feel as if I should say something.

DawnieB1977

Sometimes I get worried that I'm one of 'those'.

Eg, I was at the shops earlier and saw quite a large woman eating a mound of McDonalds. And all I thought was "That's not right." I was pretty disgusted with myself, what right do I have to judge? And when my extremely large friend orders KFC and soft drink, I feel as if I should say something.

I have to admit I do that! Ooops. And when i see parents feeding their young kids junk it upsets me. I saw a boy about 3 (the same age as my son) sitting in his stroller eating Mcdonalds fries. Firstly I was wondering why on earth he was in a stroller at that age, and secondly wondering why he had fries. I'm not a perfect parent, but my kids don't eat fast food!

Most people are pretty good with me though, and although I get a lot of 'wow, you've lost weight' comments, no-one is rude. People who know me know I've had 2 children quite close together so know I put on weight when I was pregnant, and since I lost weight after baby no. 1 they're not surprised as they've seen me do it before.

A couple of my colleagues eat the smallest bit of salad for lunch, and I feel like telling them they need a bit of protein, and perhaps if they ate a bit more and did some exercise they might lose some weight! I never would though.

Arexxx

Sometimes I get worried that I'm one of 'those'.

Eg, I was at the shops earlier and saw quite a large woman eating a mound of McDonalds. And all I thought was "That's not right." I was pretty disgusted with myself, what right do I have to judge? And when my extremely large friend orders KFC and soft drink, I feel as if I should say something.

I have to admit I do that! Ooops. And when i see parents feeding their young kids junk it upsets me. I saw a boy about 3 (the same age as my son) sitting in his stroller eating Mcdonalds fries. Firstly I was wondering why on earth he was in a stroller at that age, and secondly wondering why he had fries. I'm not a perfect parent, but my kids don't eat fast food!

Most people are pretty good with me though, and although I get a lot of 'wow, you've lost weight' comments, no-one is rude. People who know me know I've had 2 children quite close together so know I put on weight when I was pregnant, and since I lost weight after baby no. 1 they're not surprised as they've seen me do it before.

A couple of my colleagues eat the smallest bit of salad for lunch, and I feel like telling them they need a bit of protein, and perhaps if they ate a bit more and did some exercise they might lose some weight! I never would though.

When parents do it to their kids, it upsets me too. Especially when I see soft drink in a bottle. That stuff rots the teeth out of your head

And I usually feel like saying something (I never do) when friends complain abpout their weight over a McDonalds meal >.<

Justkeepswimmin

work colleague "oh I could never depreive myself like you do, you know live once, you know"
me "yeah exactly, you only live once."

LOVE ^^

opuntia

I guess I would find it odd if someone bought doughnuts for everyone and didn't have one himself - not in a bad way, but I'd just find it surprising. When I buy snacks for everyone at work, I purposely buy things that I like too, because it would feel a bit odd sharing a snack that I don't like. And my colleagues also bring snacks that they like.

So maybe the guy was commenting just out of surprise - it doesn't sound like he thinks you're 'one of those ex-fatties'. Just that he's commenting with a possible reason for why you didn't take one of the doughnuts. Did you used to buy snacks that you ate too? Or have you always bought snacks and not had any yourself? And lots of people assume everyone likes sweet snacks like doughnuts, so unless you'd already established you don't like doughnuts, he might not think you really dislike them.

I'm not 'one of those ex fatties', but I often decline snacks that colleagues have brought in, because I don't like a lot of sweet snacks - never have. I like salty snacks. When I first started my job, one colleague would make comments that I never ate, and try to urge me to eat the cookies and cakes she brought. It took quite a while to convince her that yes, I do eat (I'd eaten breakfast and had a packed lunch that I was going to eat at lunch time, and would eat an evening meal after work!) but that I really don't like cake and cookies. I do find that people often assume that everyone likes sweet snacks, and if you decline, they think you're purposely restricting yourself from a treat!

lkcuts

Its hard not to want better for your firends when what you have done works for you..especially if they question why they can't lose weight(UM could have been the m&m's, skittles, crackers inbetween eating?) I find it hard to keep my mouth shut. lol
At any rate, getting back to your senario.
Certain ways people were brought up was that food got people together as friends, family to share the experience as being the same level.. It showed hospitality and love, bonding in a sense with food. All sharing and swaping conversations during the experience. I think, this fella felt put down cause you didn't share that time with them by eating with them as a gesture of good will or part of the "gang". He now felt you thought you were "too good" or better than them to be part of the bonding time. You DID buy them to share but didn't partake in the good intensions.
Perhaps next time you bring them, figure in your cals ahead of time and bring a mixture of good choices and the doughnuts. they pick the doughnuts, you pick the healthier choice, That way you are still "partaking" With the gang as being part of the bonding time and no one will be the wiser..:flowerforyou:

jennifer_417

He was just jealous. Don't let someone's thoughtless remark make you feel bad about yourself. It's good to be introspective, but don't let others define you.

RoseBlanc

I have been fit most my life. Got hurt, got LAZY gained weight. I stayed "Fat" for about 4 years. I found MFP thru a friend and have been slowly losing the weight. I am very close to my goal weight and LOTS of people have been noticing. I usually just say "thanks" and IF they ask how I let them know about this site and how I got back on the road to fitness.

I was at a meeting this morning and I brought Donuts for the crew. One of the guys asked which one I wanted and I said "I don't really eat those" which is true! I never have been a huge donut guy. He went off and said "OH! NOW you're Johnny fitness, but you were FAT a few months ago" I had to really think about it, am I one of "THOSE" ex-fatties, like the ex-smokers who get all preachy and have to bring it up in every conversation, but I like to think I'm not. I rarely talk about fitness or diet except on MFP. I don't even post "Going to the Gym" on Facebook lol!, even though I see many folks doing it. I have always been quiet about my personal life and fitness but it did make me think. I really don't want to be one of "THOSE".

SO, how do you handle the "How did you do it?" questions AND do you think you are one of "THOSE"

The ones I get the most from people are "If I looked like you I could eat whatever I wanted."
and "Look at all this healthy food, eat some junk once in a while."

Having been both over and under weight in my life, those comments ignite me and turns me into one of 'those' types. I wasn't severely over weight, or under, but enough to show me I didn't want to be either way and went for a more healthy approach to life. I indulge regularly, my mother and I go out to eat once or twice a week and we usually split something we both agree on (which is NOT the healthy option, trust me lol.)
In the future, just smile and walk away.:]

Edited for grammar. lol.

RoseBlanc

Sometimes I get worried that I'm one of 'those'.

Eg, I was at the shops earlier and saw quite a large woman eating a mound of McDonalds. And all I thought was "That's not right." I was pretty disgusted with myself, what right do I have to judge? And when my extremely large friend orders KFC and soft drink, I feel as if I should say something.

I wait tables. Recently I waited on three women that were, quite honestly, moderately to severely over weight. The heaviest was also the youngest, and looked in my age group. She ordered a coke, a burger with cheddar cheese and bacon with mayo, french fries, and french onion soup as a starter. She got FOUR refills on her coke, for a total of five huge glasses of coke. I was sad, and a little sickened at the same time. Her companions were probably her mother, who had the same burger, fries, and french onion soup but a diet coke, and her grandma- who got a smoked salmon sandwich we offer and fries and a root beer, refilled twice.

Yes, who am I to judge? But at the same time... no words.

Edited: the point was supposed to be the youngest of the three. I didn't really clarify that.