Are you one of "Those" ex fatties!?

Restybaby2012

dont like donuts?


Hmmmmmmmmmm......


dont like donuts?

BLASPHEME!!!!

SACRILEGIOUS!!!



:drinker:

FlaxMilk

That was really, really, really mean of him! You don't have anything to worry about in this situation about your actions.

juliebeesd

Just a friendly reminder that we can’t assume we know everything by looking at someone.

Yes, we can tell if the woman who ordered a bacon cheeseburger is overweight, but we don’t know why. We don’t know if she’s perfectly comfortable with her body, or if she’s struggling with her weight. We don’t know if this is the first burger she’s had in a month, or if she’s suffering from a medical condition, etc.

In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with having a burger and soda (all things in moderation). It’s a shame that if you’re overweight, you get looked at differently if you choose to eat one “bad” meal.

As for parents who feed their kids junk, let’s just hope that it’s a once in a while thing. I know my daughter hasn’t gone her whole life without eating McDonald’s, but it’s definitely not the cornerstone of her diet.

To the original poster, I would have smiled and told the guy, “Yes, I was fat, but it wasn’t from donuts, so have at ‘em!” The fact that you are aware your success and new lifestyle might make others feel uncomfortable is proof enough for me that you’re not one of “those” people. Congrats on your weight loss and fitness success. You look great!

EDIT: I say the above because I have a friend who is overweight, who isn’t necessarily comfortable in her skin. She went grocery shopping, and among her cart full of mostly healthy items, she picked up a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. A mother and daughter in line in front of her began to whisper, until the mother turned to my friend and said while pointing to the ice cream, ‘You know, you’re not really doing yourself any favors with that.’

It’s bad enough that the woman assumed things about a total stranger, but worse that she chose to act on her assumptions and not only embarrass my friend, but set a poor example for her daughter. Encouragement, when it’s asked for, is welcome and can be a great motivator, but heckling and judging will usually only make people feel worse. /endrant

TheRealParisLove

I am a loud mouthed smart *kitten*, so I doubt the way I would respond would be at all helpful. :bigsmile:

However, I probably wouldn't have brought doughnuts in the first place. I'd have opted for a fruit bowl or something.

RoseBlanc

Just a friendly reminder that we can’t assume we know everything by looking at someone.

Yes, we can tell if the woman who ordered a bacon cheeseburger is overweight, but we don’t know why. We don’t know if she’s perfectly comfortable with her body, or if she’s struggling with her weight. We don’t know if this is the first burger she’s had in a month, or if she’s suffering from a medical condition, etc.

In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with having a burger and soda (all things in moderation). It’s a shame that if you’re overweight, you get looked at differently if you choose to eat one “bad” meal.

OK, you said it yourself, moderation. A bacon cheddar burger, french fries, a huge bowl of french onion soup and FIVE huge glasses of coke is NOT moderation. Her companions ordered similar, or the same way. Where I work, I see a *lot* of over weight families. I stress *lot.*
I work in a setting that's been tailored to the lazy, dependent American. It's not unusual to wait on the same family/group several times over their course of their stay in the area.
Considering that I waited on this woman's companions the next morning, and neither of them were health conscious in the slightest (and when I asked where the younger of the three was they said she was still in bed) I'm going to feel confident in my belief that none of this was medical. All THREE of them were medically inclined to be moderately to severely over weight? And eating they way that they were had no impact on it whatsoever? I doubt that.
Whats a shame is that we're not allowed to think our private thoughts.

halobender

I don't think you can be one of "them" if you're buying that type of food in the first place. One of "them" would have brought in cucumber sandwiches or something lame, and then told everyone about how they brought in a healthy snack for everyone to "enjoy".

I'm neither one of "those" ex-fatties or ex-smokers, thankfully. It's kind of hard, when someone asks, to not get caught up in talking about that stuff, but that's on them, they asked and can't expect you to not mention eating right and exercise as a big part of it.

Domi_BTGfit

I am in between... I am now educated on how my body reacts to different foods and I choose which to include and which to exclude from my diet. I'm what is known as a "feeder" - someone who bakes cakes and cookies for others, but doesn't indulge. I am the first to offer an opinion when asked, but if not, it's each to their own.

What I don't like is when others feel the need to give THEIR opinions to me when not requested. If I wanted a piece of cake, I would have it... not having it does not make me anorexic and it doesn't make me one of "those" ex-fatties.

It's either jealousy due to your loss, or fear because they don't want to be fat. Congratulations on your loss and keep doing what you're doing!

vtmoon

I had a similar situation happen to me with Cheese cake, when I got called out for not wanted to try it. I did a **** move and said I was showing symptoms of diabetes, so the guy felt really bad.

Restybaby2012

the office I work in has a lot of treat days / snack days / pot lucks etc. I finally gave up participating at all because ALL they bring is chocolate candy, chocolate chip cookies, cakes, bars, chips, dip. I just bring my healthy lunch of an Apple, cheese stick, cucumber slices and maybe a beef stick and stay at my desk. Every SINGLE time this happens 90% of them will come and ask me why Im not "enjoying to FOOD"?? WTF. I suspect Im the only diabetic in the department. But Ive been there 14 years now, wouldnt you think they'd learn? I mean comeon now.......they have the time or inclination to know I bring fruit and vegies every day, they remark on it at least weekly.

One day I had brought in an apple, an orange, 2 small tomatoes, a beef stick and a cheese stick. I was working 12 hours a day then. This woman Id known since just after she started came up to my desk, looked around, and then asked in an absurdly snotty tone "Are you gonna eat ALL that today?" I had a yellow tomato one time and this same woman came up and asked me if she could taste it. EEEEEEEEK

I just tell em now No thanks, Id love to have some but had better not. It works.

mogletdeluxe

Unfortunately I do think I have "those" tendencies. Whilst I would never deliberately be preachy, fitness and health is such a huge part of my life (and of friends' acquired through my lifestyle changes) that I can see how it comes across. I think enthusiasm, particularly to someone who is unhappy with their weight or lifestyle, can certainly come across as sickening. I'm like the Pollyanna of exercise.

It's never done with any ill intent or superiority. I have been told on several occasions that I've spurred people into making their own lifestyle changes, and if the price of that is coming across as a Typical Ex-Fatty then so be it.

deadbeatsummer

I think saying 'i don't really eat those' does sound a little bit like you are sticking your nose up at the doughnuts (and there's nothing wrong with that!) but in a situation where you have bought a load of doughnuts for others, I might have just said 'I'm so full', or 'i can't handle that much sugar at this time in the morning..it's a treat just for you guys' etc

it sounds like his response was defensive.

EuSaNaD

Sounds like the guy was rude. You didn't do anything wrong. People who are defensive like that are usually projecting their own feelings. He probably felt guilty about eating a donut when someone else wasn't.

I completely agree with what you said!

pkw58

So my stock response if my "No, thank you" is not accepted - "I have already had my fair share of x"... which honestly, is an honest answer.. I have had my fair share of donuts, bread, etc. I just used up my share earlier in life so now I need to leave it for others.

It works for me.

ShreddedTweet

I was never fat so I'm not any kind of ex-fatty but I am DEFINITELY preachy now when it comes to exercise, I sometimes have to stop myself because it even annoys me My three sisters give me hell about it....

Yunnieh

I'm a FFP - Former Fat Person.

kylejh

I was fat for a lot of years, and LOVED sweet things. When I made my lifestyle change, weight loss was #1 in my mind, so I avoided sweets for the most part, and no one really gave me a hard time about it. I'm at a different stage now... I'm at the point where I can enjoy dessert occasionally, and now people give me a hard time about it. I'll go to an all day meeting for work, grab dessert after lunch, and a few people like to put their 2 cents in about it. "Oh, are you sure you should be having that?" or "Is that allowed on your diet?" At first I responded with "I'm not on a diet," but now I respond with "Yup." It's weird how people feel like they need to comment on food choices, and that it is always negative. I have lost just shy of 80 lbs, look the best I have in my adult life, and have done it by making the right food choices while still enjoying eating, and don't really need people's uninformed opinions. It's life they think a piece of pie is going to make me fall off the wagon!

jenjen0214

I am in a crazy position that I am accused of being one of "those" frequently. We have lots of outside meetings at our office, for which I have to provide lunches and snacks routinely. At a "generalized" request, I provided more healthy alternatives to the usual fare. At the same time I was in my process of losing a large amount of weight. Let's just say the healthier choice was not liked and I was accused of pushing my lifestyle choice on others....it was their suggestion. I apologized and took the high road. These days I order a little of each and when they ask me (sarcastically usually) if I am joining them on the unhealthy items, I simply decline and go for a short walk.

Others will try and make you feel bad, just keep smiling and going and make them look like the jerk for overreacting.

Dayquasar

I am a loud mouthed smart *kitten*, so I doubt the way I would respond would be at all helpful. :bigsmile:

However, I probably wouldn't have brought doughnuts in the first place. I'd have opted for a fruit bowl or something.

I agree, maybe share something healthy next time?

SamanthaH10

I was fat for a lot of years, and LOVED sweet things. When I made my lifestyle change, weight loss was #1 in my mind, so I avoided sweets for the most part, and no one really gave me a hard time about it. I'm at a different stage now... I'm at the point where I can enjoy dessert occasionally, and now people give me a hard time about it. I'll go to an all day meeting for work, grab dessert after lunch, and a few people like to put their 2 cents in about it. "Oh, are you sure you should be having that?" or "Is that allowed on your diet?" At first I responded with "I'm not on a diet," but now I respond with "Yup." It's weird how people feel like they need to comment on food choices, and that it is always negative. I have lost just shy of 80 lbs, look the best I have in my life, and have done it by making the right food choices while still enjoying eating, and don't really need people's uninformed opinions. It's life they thing a piece of pie is going to make me fall off the wagon!

Oh, how I understand THAT! The food police drives me absolutely crazy! Hubby has picked up on it recently, telling me just last night, "that's a big chicken breast; are you sure you should eat all of it?" Seriously?! *sigh*