My crazy Ex.. Looking for drama anyone? lol

asprague917

been there done that, although luckily no marriage and no kids involved...started with the jealousy and controlling what i could and couldnt do, when my grandmother died he didnt want me with my mom he wanted me with him. it will get worse believe me, within a 2 year relationships it whent from mental, to verbal to physical and even then it took me about 6 months to leave him. my ex tried the suicide tick to, its manipulative bc they make it seem like its your fault and its not.

definetly if you do meet up with him do it at a police station. and get a court order that he needs supervised visits with kids. bc if he hit his own brother and sister out of anger he will hit the kids eventually.

XXXMinnieXXX

I really don't think you should let him see the children.... If he does that to his brother and sister what's to say he won't take it out on the kids. I'd contact the police for advice... Yes I have been there.... No kids but I had a horrendous time of it. Took a year for the police to get rid of him. My life is so much better now though! X

xo_Sarah_xo

Restraining order, divorce lawyer. Cease all direct contact with him, do not even contact him to tell him you are seeking a divorce lawyer and police: only contact him through lawyers/police, from here out. I would call the police (non-emergency) immediately and explain the situation, that he is violent and suicidal, and that you're afraid of what he's going to do to yourself or others. Contact your local women's centre for similar advice on how to proceed, to keep yourself safe. Change your locks, get deadbolts and chains on every door, get a security system if you can afford it, and if you have any physically capable male friends or family that can come stay with you, or that you can stay with, until you can get further advice/protection from police, PLEASE do so. He HAS laid a hand on you, and physically restraining you is a form of violence/assault. Document these incidents, as you can probably build a case to press charges. If your brother and sister in-law love you and the kids, I would talk to them about pressing charges against their brother. It's a tough thing to do to their sibling, I'm sure, but it's for everyone's own good... and what he did to his brother's ankle surely involved medical documentation, and the siblings are each other's perfect witness. The police will no doubt take it seriously if this guy's own siblings are will to have him charged for assault.

It's in everyone's best interest, including your husband's, that he be locked up and receive intensive psychiatric help. Your husband is also too volatile to be having any visitations with his children, at this time, and this is another reason why you really must report his behaviour to law enforcement. He is a serious danger to you and his kids, and I wouldn't want to see this escalate to a murder-suicide, as it sounds like it very well could. He is possessive, and I easily see this turning into a rash "if I can't have them, no one can" decision, for him. Please do not chance it, for the sake of the kids.

Please remember that, when it comes to your husband being a danger to others, "in sickness and in health" no longer applies. You are not obligated to remain with him as his hostage, upon threat of suicide. You are not responsible any more, if he does succeed in this.

I completely agree with this. Also, (I mean this in the nicest way) but it scares me that you are waiting for answers from people here on MFP and not doing what needs to be done immediately - making you and your kids as safe as possible! Maybe I am completely wrong, but I get the impression you are not taking all precautions and not as seriously as you should...

T34418l3angel

I was in a similar situation to yours when I was younger. I got with a guy when I was 16, he was so sweet, years went on and he became verbally abusive and possessive. When I would try to leave he would treated to hurt himself and I would always feel bad and go back. it only got worse, he would cheat on me, always be gone with his friends yet flip out when I went anywhere, tell everyone that I was a *kitten* if I did leave the house because he assumed I was cheating. Then finally in an argument he hit me, and I thought to myself "it wasn't that bad because we were both mad and his temper is just way worse than mine", in the next few years it kept happening but my self esteem was already lie from the verbal abuse that when the physical was going on I did nothing about it, I had already alliterated myself from friends and family so he would constantly threaten to throw me out and I'd be homeless or even worse kill me and know one would care (his words). One time in an argument in the car he was so mad that he purposely drove us off of an elavated highway. And then at 20 I got pregnant, I felt a little relieved at first because I was young and Nieve and thought that finally things would go back to how they used to be, nothing changed. When I was 6 months pregnant I was hospitalized for a month due to fluid leaking, we lived right down the street from the hospital yet he only visited twice. He even convinced me to sign myself out of the hospital against medical wishes so his mom could give me a baby shower, when I went back after the shower I had to have an emergency c section at 7 months pregnant. Luckily my baby was ok, small but ok. But she was difficult, and I had no help. He still was partying, abusive, etc. and against what my doctor said, would make me have sex with him. I got pregnant again. By this time I was already planning my escape because I knew my daughter deserves better, I contemplated abortion but decided against it. I left him when I was 4 months pregnant in the middle of the night when he was partying and I moved to Las Vegas, my mother and brother lived there. of coarse when he found out he was furious. But when he found out he couldn't get to me he decided to move there too. skip ahead, one day after I had already had the second baby, she was about 2 months, I got a knock on the door of the very drunk ex, who of which I already had a no contact and keep away order on, my apartments didn't have apeep hole so instead of saying who is it I opened the door while holding my 2 month old, he immediately started beating me while holding her and my other watching. He wanted to kill me, he said it himself. I slipped away and tried to call the police and he broke my phone. Some how I managed to grab the kids and run to a neighbors to call the police. He had stayed in my house thewhole time trashing it thinking they could convince the police that I lived like a slob and he was just trying to see the kids. It's been about 5 years since that happened and though I've never denied him visitations with the children they are always in public and supervised, which is why he would rather not see them (though he still tries to guilt me into thinking I'm the reason he doesn't see his kids). I am married now to an amazing military man who would nevereven raise his voice to me. I feel so lucky to have wised up because I know I could have been dead.

I know this was long but I hope you take something away from my story and know that when everyone is telling you that your situation is bad you need to listen to them before it gets worse.

newCourtney

1. Get a lawyer. Let your lawyer handle all the negotiation.
2. NEVER meet with him alone.
3. Avoid seeing him in person if you can. Keep a record of ALL communication you have with him. Communicate in writing concerning arrangements whenever you can.
4. Be careful, overly-cautious. Be smart.

emsicle_o

bring people with you or do it through solicitors / courts

phynyxfyre

You said you were separated. Does that mean that he left the house or that you did? If you have not left the house, go now. Take the kids and go to a relative's. If you ever need to go back, have a civil standby. The police will wait for you to get your things and keep you safe. There is nothing to discuss with him. He has unlawfully restrained you, tried guilting you into staying with him by the use of physical violence to himself, he has injured the people he should be gentlest to, simply because they told him to calm down.

This person is not safe. At all. Ever again. He can't support you while your father has brain surgery? That is when he should be most supportive.

I have been there. I do not know what state you are in, but look up the resources and use them all. You have physical custody of the kids, the court will not take them from you. Talk to victims services at your courthouse and get the restraining order----> not because I think he will respect it, but because it will give you immediate full custody of the children as an emergency measure. Give this to the schools right away. The children cannot be picked up by him. Several weeks ago, a man had a visit with his kids that was supervised. He locked the social worker out and murdered both children and then killed himself. If he is already acting like that, avoid him like you would a child sex predator. I am serious about that.

Listen to your family and all the great advice on here. Hide immediately. Do not answer his calls. Cut all ties while there is still time. I cannot tell you in enough words how urgent this is.

bjslater3

you have gotten plenty of good advice from those that have been there..but it is useless to you unless you follow it...dont believe the not dangerous parts...

weighlossforbaby

Holding you down is putting his hands on you. If he could get that mad to break his brother's ankle and slap his sister he can hurt you too. If you need to talk with him about money for the kids get a lawyer and never talk to him alone. Please be careful about this.

magj0y

Your husband is acting out in so many ways that I don't know how you can keep track of them. He is manipulative and will stop at nothing to get his way. Get yourself and your kids to safety, somewhere unknown to him. Get an order of protection. Do not see him alone. Limit your telephone contact to text. He hasn't abused you yet? He will if he gets the chance. You can bet your life on it. Good luck.

^^This. Be careful. He sounds desperate and that spells danger. I've been there. Do not see him alone (with or without your kids).

Push for supervised visitation and mandatory counseling for him. This is no way for your kids to behave especially since they're so young