Please don't be offended...
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I am not obese, morbidly obese, or even over weight. I just need to tone up and maybe lose a couple lbs. However, I can see how it happens. How people "let" themselves get that way. It isn't the same reason for everyone though. Here are some of the reasons I have noticed over time by knowing people that are obese.
1. Lifestyle: They grew up eating food, and lots of it. It doesn't even have to be "junk" food, they just consume way too many calories because that is what they have always done. I had a couple of friends like this. I could easily be this person too, but was blessed with a decent metabolism and now I just know better.
2. Depression: Some people use food to fill a void and to make themselves feel better. They also quit caring about their appearance, they think they aren't worth it.... so why put in the effort to exercise and work off what they are eating.
3. The weight came on for various reasons and it's just too hard to get it back off: Be it pregnancy, something medical came up (surgery, sickness) that made them gain weight. Again, its too hard to get it off so that individual just accepts who they are now and moves on with life.
I don't think anyone "lets" themselves get like that. I think that a lot of people grow up not understanding the importance of eating right and staying fit. Then they wake up one morning and think, where the heck did all this come from?
Like I said I don't know from personal experience but I could easily fit into the first 2 categories, and I know at least 1 person that fits into each.
This! ^^
Along with a desk job, not enough hours in the day to sleep, do housewife thing, work, the depression factor and any medications that you will likely take for depression, causes weight gain, or did for me..
and on my mother's side is obesity...
I realized, this thankfully in time.... that I was heading down the same path as My Granny, who probably weighed 400lbs at one time, my aunt and an uncle who easly push 400lbs or more....
and i didn't want to be on that road... (I WILL NOT BE THEM)
So now I eat smaller amounts, stay away from most carbs and fried foods, and i have done away with hobbies that aren't exercise related, except on weekends, in order to have the time to exercise!
i'm only down 24 lbs since i started, but as they say
"I'm running circles around those on the couch!"0 -
I haven't read all these pages... I'm sure someone has already offered a similar answer.
I believe there is a difference between obesity and morbid obesity. You can be a healthy obese, but there is no such thing as a healthy mobidly obese. That is almost an oxymoron. To become morbidly obese, you have to have a certain kind of mentality. You have to believe that your health is not important or at least have some kind of disconnect between your health and your size. For most people, it is depression that leads people to have this mentality, but I don't think it generally starts this way. I think depression is more the end result.
Either way, it is my opinion that morbid obesity is more directly associated with mental health than any other physical condition.
Please define healthy obese. Sounds like my father in law who smokes 2 packs a day and says he's healthy as an ox. His validation for that is that he doesnt have cancer so he must be healthy. I think most of us were/are in denial. that is how we get to where we are. I too agree. 30 pounds overweight is the same as 200 pounds. its all excess. And one has to reach the breaking point. Where they say enough is enough. That is different for different people.0 -
that's more of a psychology and sociology question. probably for a host of reasons, but question why / how people become so addicted to gambling that they lose all their money, or addicted to meth, alcohol, cigarettes, etc. people tend to do that. it happens.
it's the same reason people also become addicted to exercise, dieting and the opposite extreme lifestyle. food can become as much of an addiction as anything else. and people go down that road for many reasons (sexual abuse, lack of self esteem, separation issues, etc.), but it all comes down to psychology. why people "use food" rather than eat food as fuel is a major issue in the world.0 -
I can tell you my story. I've never been up to 500 or 600lbs but I can tell you how I got to be obese (240lbs at my highest).
I grew up in a poor home. We'd go days without food. When food WAS brought into the home we were often so hungry that we'd just gobble it all up. Like chipmunks storing nuts in our cheek for the winter!
As I got older and my mother remarried a fellow with money, I just never learned proper eating habits. To this DAY if it's in the cupboard or fridge I have this nearly uncontrollable urge to eat it. Partly because if I don't I'm afraid it's going to disappear. Partly because I just want it SO BAD. And partly because I also learned that food can be a stress reliever.
So there you have it. That's how I managed to get fat. Improper food management. It's really that simple.0 -
I am an RN. I have worked in critical care for over 12 years and spent a good time at USC hospital caring for morbid obesity patients post operatively. There is some research being done regarding genetics, physical and mental associations etc with this condition. It is a medical condition. Although many people share common problems to pinpoint one reason is near impossible. Just as positive life style modification has a positive cycle so does negative behavior. ex being a cycle that continues and must have a catalyst to start and or stop the cycle. Mental health becomes very fragile in the morbidly obese and contributes to the downward spiral.0
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I wasn't 'morbidly' obese, but I was obese. I always knew what I was doing.. I saw myself getting bigger and I just didn't want to do anything. I tried a gazillion times and always found an excuse to not. I do have family that is to that point... I don't understand it either.. I see it every where and I just knew I couldn't let myself get there.. I wanted to set an example.0
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Honestly, this will vary person to person. I can say for me personally, it's more or less the delusional factor. As a child I was always chubby, but I'd joke about people bigger than me and state "I will never get to ____ weight" and when I did, I upped it a bit more stating other things. I would avoid the fact that I was gaining weight. When I hit the point where weight gain wasn't based on becoming an adult after 18, I noticed something had to change. Now, I can't speak for people going to 300- 400- 500 lbs, BUT I was alarmed to see myself getting CLOSE to 300 because that is a big deal to me. At the same time, I honestly didn't KNOW that I went from 250, to 275. It was a scary realization to me because my clothes still fit, my health felt the same, I didn't even feel the 25 extra lbs creep on, but they did. Again, I can't speak for anyone else, or anyone bigger than me. But sometimes, it's just denial, sometimes you don't want to think about that. Sometimes friends can hold you back when you start noticing you let yourself go and they want to be nice and say "no you're beautiful". There's a lot to it. I've read of some people being emotional eaters, some are yo-yo dieters (this can really hurt you in the long term to be on and off diets over and over again). It just varies.0
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I can tell you my story. I've never been up to 500 or 600lbs but I can tell you how I got to be obese (240lbs at my highest).
I grew up in a poor home. We'd go days without food. When food WAS brought into the home we were often so hungry that we'd just gobble it all up. Like chipmunks storing nuts in our cheek for the winter!
As I got older and my mother remarried a fellow with money, I just never learned proper eating habits. To this DAY if it's in the cupboard or fridge I have this nearly uncontrollable urge to eat it. Partly because if I don't I'm afraid it's going to disappear. Partly because I just want it SO BAD. And partly because I also learned that food can be a stress reliever.
So there you have it. That's how I managed to get fat. Improper food management. It's really that simple.
I can relate to this. My heart goes out to you.0 -
I was 198lb and I blame my parents for the up bringing I had, my dad worked days and my mum worked nights, when my dad was at work my mum would sleep I would no word of a lie at the age of 2 I would cook beans on toast or find anything in the cupboards to eat, when I was about 4 the microwave came out, so while my mum would sleep I would cook things like pizza and micro chips for breakfast, I never knew what was breakfast lunch or dinner, so I've struggled to change the way I think about food, I'm happy to say I'm now 146lb not far from target and I would never let myself get that big again, I also blame super markets as fruit and veg are so expensive and the fatty foods are so much cheaper so people on a tight budget would find it hard to eat healthy xx0
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I'm 300 lbs. right now. I did balloon up to 360 lbs. because of a horrible drug reaction to Abilify. I'm bipolar, so that kind of weight gain--when I hadn't been eating any different--led to a huge depression for me, and thus, emotional eating, which knocked me up to 400 lbs.
That said. How did I let myself get that heavy? When I first started gaining weight, it was, I truly think, a response to daily sexual harassment. I was only 13 years old, and I felt so uncomfortable with my body and sexuality. I did emotionally eat due, again, to depression. But then, I began to notice that as I gained weight, the sexual harassment stopped. I felt so much more safe.
I was roughly 250 when I married my ex-husband. Then, I simply let myself go. (There was neglect in the relationship, so it felt like it wasn't necessary to "keep up appearances." Not an excuse, but that's what happened.)
Obesity does run in my family, though I've no idea if that means anything. My mother was always heavy and moving from crash diet to crash diet, and she made me diet with her, even when I was overweight. She'd also lock our refrigerator so I couldn't eat unless she allowed me to. I'm positive that had an effect on my relationship with food and the binge eating I began to do outside the house.
I do, honestly, think there can be psychological factors to weight gain, and I don't think those should be overlooked by the medical community. But in the end, it is a matter of watching what you eat, how much, and being at least somewhat active. And I didn't do much of that. It wasn't until I was married and at 250 lbs. that I was able to overcome the binge eating.
One of the issues I have with the medical community is that they treat the symptoms of a problem (Overweight? Diet.) when often it's more effective to treat the root of the problem. I'm sure quite a few obese people would benefit from seeing a therapist in order to work out the why and cause of their relationship with food and to help them replace negative behaviors with positive ones.
But your mileage may vary. :flowerforyou:0 -
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It's a legitimate question, but I can see why it is a touchy subject. I'm going to speak from personal experience. I know that there were a NUMBER of factors that went into my weight gain. If you don't wanna read the story, just skip to the bottom paragraph.
I lost a BUNCH of weight (boot camp left me 118 at 5'7, though my normal healthy weight is more like 136) and was really skinny for a time. I didn't worry about what I ate and didn't care b/c I was super tiny. Eventually, I got back up to my normal weight and didn't mind. At the time, I was hanging out with people who were big on fitness and didn't care about what they ate b/c they worked out at least once a day. I ate what they ate and it led to gaining MORE weight. I left California at 149.
When I moved to GA, I had a roommate that was bigger than me by something like 20 pounds. She and I ate whatever we ate and worked out sometimes, but it wasn't anything that had a lot of effort. That ended me at 183.
When I moved to Maryland, where I live now, I was doing great with weight loss. I was down to 175 and had lost something like 5 inches during the move. I got a new group of friends that eats unhealthy stuff and drinks A LOT, which I never minded and always joined in on. Now, here I am at 193, wondering how I could have let myself get to this point. How I couldn't have just seen what was happening and done something about it.
Now that I am here due to avoidance and whatever else led to my weight gain, I want to avoid it more b/c I know the steps I have to take to make it go away are hard and that people who are fit judge. We all judge, it's just in human nature and there is NOTHING I can do about it except decide that I don't care. The issue is that my self-confidence went down the drain as I gained, so everything I hear them saying with their looks are really the comments that I hear myself saying when I look in the mirror. The whole process is just a big catch 22. You want to get fit in order to stop judging yourself, but you keep judging yourself and stops you from trying to fix it.
You, as a nurse, are wondering how we could let it happen. I am going to guarantee that there are a HUGE number of people who HAVE gained the pounds that wonder how they let it happen. How did I become this person? I see my body grow day by day, so the weight is really gradual. You, as a nurse, see me come in as overweight and wonder how it happened b/c this is the first time you have seen it. Seeing the gradual points day by day is MUCH easier to avoid than just a sudden gain of 80 pounds in a day. Avoiding it, not seeing it, it's really easy to do when you don't have the dietary or working out habits formed that some others have. There is no ONE specific reason, but I am going to bet that an overwhelming amount of people can say that avoidance was a key factor.0 -
I didn't just let myself gain all this weight. I was fighting an enemy I did not understand.
When I was 18 I weighed 154 pounds. For my body that is 30 lbs overweight. I went on a low calorie diet. Lost 10 lbs, stopped losing, got discouraged and gave up. Quickly gained that weight back. I gained 45 lbs with my first pregnancy. It took 4 months (breastfeeding) to get back to 154 lbs. I gained 45 lbs again with my second pregnancy. Somehow I managed to leave the hospital after his birth 5 lbs heavier than I went in. I dieted, lost 20 lbs, stopped losing, got discouraged, gave up and gained back the weight plus more. Every time I attempted to diet, restrict calories, I would lose 20 lbs, stop losing and then gain it back plus more. I finally gave up dieting in self-defense.
Over the years I slowly put on more and more weight. I did not eat tons of food. I have always gotten upset with television shows or movies that portrayed obese individuals as massive eaters, cleaning out the all-you-can-eat buffets and raiding the refrigerator in the middle of the night or eating whole pizzas, gallons of ice cream and stuffing their faces with cake because that was not me at all. I ate sensibly yet I weighed over 300 lbs and was scared to death to try dieting again and have a diet push me up to 400 lbs.
In 2004 I was diagnosed diabetic. My doctor told me to go on the South Beach diet. I will not lie, I was scared. But, the low carb approach of South Beach was the first diet that ever worked for me. I lost 70 lbs and gained control of my diabetes. I read the book, The Zone, which gave me an understanding for the first time why my body could not handle higher amounts of carbohydrates. I wish I could say I stuck to South Beach at that time but, again, I did not completely understand my enemy. As I was progressing and following phase 2 of SB, I stopped losing weight again. It didn't matter how well I stuck to the diet, I lost nothing. I didn't give up right away but over time I drifted away from it. I slowly gained back the weight. I know now that Phase 2 of South Beach allows more carbohydrates than my body can handle.
My doctor put me on an even lower carb diet. It worked. It worked great. But, again, I drifted away from it due to life's stresses and family crises. I spent over a year completely ignoring my health. I went back on that diet almost 5 months ago. I've adjusted it to fit me better and I believe with the help of logging here and being able to expand my food choices while sticking to the low, low carbs I will be successful.0 -
I think it's a very personal thing with everyone. Plus an addiction. But you can't completely stop or get away from it b/c it's needed. We eat for social occasions - to be happy... we eat when we are sad or bored. For me, I'm not obese but I can see how I could be if I didn't fight the urge to eat. For a while I'd eat when on the phone! Bad habits start when you are young and carry us through into our adult life. For my I have the excuse now that I'm not that bad... but now Im up another 10 lbs. So I'm going to a class reunion and went out to try on a new outfit. UGH! that was the turning point. I hated how I looked in clothes. So now I'm back in teh game again to lose. God bless !0
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For me, a couple reasons.
#1, I was fairly content in my life. So I ate what I wanted, and didn't give a *insert random obscenity here* about my weight. I've always been chubby to husky my entire life. After 21, it was all downhill from there. I hit 320 and finally said "oh hell. I should probably do something about this." There wasn't anything that was specific, like high blood pressure, etc. I just kinda stopped and realized that maybe this wasn't the best.
I've always figured 100% of life ends in death - might as well enjoy it how I want to. Now rather than wanting to eat whatever I want, I want to ride roller coasters. So that's my next journey. Right now I can fit into all Disney rides, so my next step is Universal Studios rides, and i'll work my way down til I can fit into Six Flags and Cedar Point rides
I'll never be a toned, fit, exercise-religiously kinda guy. That's not fun to me, and I don't want to live like that. But I think being healthier isn't a bad thing at all.
Completely AGREE!
I am morbidly obese.. fat.. huge ... whatever.. i am 6' 2" and at my heaviest was 460 lbs..
I grew up fat .. had always been fat .. just got bigger, and bigger.. I didn't really consider it much because I always had pretty hot girlfriends.. and all that. I have great personality, so for the most part I could get by.
Active lifestyle or lack there of:
I missed out on a lot of physical activities and really felt left out by my friends but wouldn't want them to change thier plans just so the "the fat guy" could go. So I opped out of many activites.
diet ... or lack there of some more:
I am single and cooking for one can be a pain in the *kitten*, and just ended up stopping at fast food places on the way home. Then after you eat a ton of fast food, you kind of wonder why you did it, and begin to hate yourself a little and just try to go to bed and go to sleep. Then rinse and repeat. days turn into weeks, weeks in to months, months into years. I mean you see yourself in the mirror everyday .. you can't tell from day to day that you are changing or getting fat. It creeps up on you like the hour hand of a clock.
See, we train ourselves.. When we feel bad we eat food.. when we do, endorphins get released and we feel better. Now the problem is that it becomes like heroine, where you need more and more to get to that same high. Instant gratification is also a factor...
Just at my work withing 1.3 miles is:
16 sit down resturants
15 Fast food
what does it all mean:
Now what does this all mean .. It means ... WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR OURSELVES.
We are responsible for the most important thing out there... and that is early detection of problems. When I say this I don't mean back pain, or getting fat, I MEAN your mental state. BEING FAT IS A SYMPTOM, NOT THE DISEASE. making someone skinny who was fat, doesn't fix the problem. They may lose some .. but will gain it back if the root cause is not identified and resolved.
I am not really a huge fan of TBL but if what is filmed is true, then they may be helping resolve some of the root causes. When you are worked to your breaking point, and then they start grilling you, all of your defense mechanisms are down.. and you just have to deal with the situation, so you either shutdown and don't say anything or you get to the root cause by talking it out, now this is harsh and difficult, but then again .. so is being fat.
Anyway, I am rambling here in a stream of consciousness
Anyone, please feel free to add me and ask questions I am more than happy to answer you all honestly.0 -
I think it's a very personal thing with everyone. Plus an addiction. But you can't completely stop or get away from it b/c it's needed. We eat for social occasions - to be happy... we eat when we are sad or bored. For me, I'm not obese but I can see how I could be if I didn't fight the urge to eat. For a while I'd eat when on the phone! Bad habits start when you are young and carry us through into our adult life. For my I have the excuse now that I'm not that bad... but now Im up another 10 lbs. So I'm going to a class reunion and went out to try on a new outfit. UGH! that was the turning point. I hated how I looked in clothes. So now I'm back in teh game again to lose. God bless !
With all due respect, it is easy to ascribe some of the characteristics of addiction to eating disorders. They are often treated the very same way. However, unless you have been a true addict and been truly dependent on a substance that is NOT germane to your body, then you really can't understand what addiction is or is like. The two are not the same.0 -
I haven't read all these pages... I'm sure someone has already offered a similar answer.
I believe there is a difference between obesity and morbid obesity. You can be a healthy obese, but there is no such thing as a healthy mobidly obese. That is almost an oxymoron. To become morbidly obese, you have to have a certain kind of mentality. You have to believe that your health is not important or at least have some kind of disconnect between your health and your size. For most people, it is depression that leads people to have this mentality, but I don't think it generally starts this way. I think depression is more the end result.
Either way, it is my opinion that morbid obesity is more directly associated with mental health than any other physical condition.
Please define healthy obese. Sounds like my father in law who smokes 2 packs a day and says he's healthy as an ox. His validation for that is that he doesnt have cancer so he must be healthy. I think most of us were/are in denial. that is how we get to where we are. I too agree. 30 pounds overweight is the same as 200 pounds. its all excess. And one has to reach the breaking point. Where they say enough is enough. That is different for different people.
Body composition is what determines healthy obese. Muscle is heavy... body builders are generally a healthy overweight and, in many instances, a healthy obese.0 -
i've always been on the heavy side, when i was younger my older sisters would always tell me to eat what was left so we wouldn't have to find a container for it, so a few bites here and there extra when i was already stuffed.
I wasn't very active either when i was a kid, It was always easy for me to loose weight if i wanted too,
but then when i hit over 200 and realized it, i was going in for surgery and when i had to step on that scale he said in a year i would have hit 300lb if i kept going the way i was...i couldn't believe that i was that close to 300...
so i had a serious talk with myself and with the help from my Mom she helped me join LA Weightloss where I lost 76lb and was feeling great, but then my husband was diagnosed with cancer and i used that for an excuse and gained back 44...and then i found this place and so far have lost 22. which i feel really good about, but then my wonderful Mom passed away from cancer the 1st of August and i've gained 3lbs back, which isn't much...but I need to get back on it...
I use alot of exuses as to why i gained weight, but mostly its because I'm an emotional eater, a boredom eater, and i think need comfort food...
I'm trying to go walking or some other kind of exercise when i'm feeling the need to eat out of control...but its hard to do..easier to eat...
so alot of weight issues is phsycological,0 -
so you have been over weight most of life.
as a nurse.....WHY ARE YOU OVERWEIGHT?
you are, so as an educated person, you should understand yourself.
I am not offended..or angry
I am a very positive person.
Please after all the reply's you get..Post why you are..so the rest of us can understand..0 -
***** please! No one is telling you to eat dessert!0
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