Why did you let yourself go?...

Timshel_

Just posted this in another thread, but here is the deal....

How did you get fat?

Accepting mediocrity of myself and my eating. It really comes down to self-control and denying yourself those things that sounds really good right now for the things you really want overall. Too many times I found myself compromising that and telling myself I would make up for it later. Worse, I would try to numb that sense that eating that way and not exercising was bad by having a bit of entitlement - that somehow being in decent shape for the better part of my youth through college years I deserved to take a break and indulge. The problem was indulging became the norm instead of the exception. Throw in moving up in work responsibilities, kids, wife, working on more education....and it was too easy to let myself go. I completely lost focus on MYSELF in the mix of things.

The biggest problem I have now is the last 12-15 years of this self-destructive behavior created a pattern in my mind that I have to break. Easier said than done really. Even when I know the right choice to make - like eating x instead of y, or making sure I hit the gym or track - I fall back to feeling like I can make it up later or that somehow with all the efforts and progress I have made that I deserve a little of this and that, or a break from exercise. that is NOT that case, and I know it. So I really am arguing with myself often, as stupid as that sounds. I am sure some folks out there have a clear consciousnesses and are laughing, but that's just how it is for me. The good news is, I am making headway and find myself at least moderating the "bad" foods I eat and choosing better foods more often. I also workout more often than not. I just need to fine tune it all and keep on the high road. But that will come as I break down the mindset and patterns of the past years.

So for me, it isn't hard to eat right or exercise, it is beating my own mind games.

Maybe some of you can relate.

Timshel_

Depression: I didn't feel like moving but I continued to eat, ergo weight gain

For me, my bought with depression is what brought about my will to change. I was in a pretty dark place the beginning of 2012 and I fought myself and that flat, uncaring feeling to get working out and eat better. That not only helped my body physically to equalize all the chemicals and kick much of that depression feeling, but it fed my mind and soul to help center my life.

PeauxPeaux

Because I got injured. I was eating like I was when I was an athlete but I wasn't moving so I packed on some weight.

This. Except change injured to "sick." I was sick for months, then had 2 surgeries that saved my life, YAY, but it took my body a long time to recover. I finally feel myself again, and I am ready to get back into all my old clothes and feel strong again.

PeauxPeaux

Because I got injured. I was eating like I was when I was an athlete but I wasn't moving so I packed on some weight.

This. Except change injured to "sick." I was sick for months, then had 2 surgeries that saved my life, YAY, but it took my body a long time to recover. I finally feel myself again, and I am ready to get back into all my old clothes and feel strong again.

I wanted to add to that "THIS TIME"

WHen I was young I always THOUGHT I was fat, but I never was. I am just a BIG girl -- tall with broad shoulders, wide hips, big boobs, and a wasp waist. I had a very low BMI, but fekt fat because I had a large frame and you cannot change that...

I was a thin kid and young person, but I got a little chubby (the freshman 15) when I went to college, got thin, got married, got chubby, got pregnant, got righteously FAT AS ALL GET OUT, got thin, re-got pregnant, re-got fat, got thin....Got sick. Got Fat.

And here I am.

The other day as we walked the dogs I said to my husband, "DO you think I am a fat person who soemtimes gets thin or a thin person who sometimes gets fat"

He laughed his BUTT off and said, "I think there is no way to answer that TERRIBLE QUESTION, crazy lady, without getting wife-smacked."

He is a wise fella, my husband.

But I decided --- I have always loved exercising. I think I am a fit person who has sometimes gotten fat. I am done gettign fat. Now I am just going to be a fit person. *determined eyebrows*

edited for typos

ThoseRabbits

i used to binge an yeah ... wah since on tha site i havent done it anymore 2 weekz!

momzeeee

I was always the thin one in my family, until my third kid came along (had no problem staying thin after my first two pregnancies). The weight started creeping on after that, but I didn't really even notice it at first-too busy with three small kids and life in general It wasn't until last summer that it finally hit me that I was overweight for the first time in my life, and I had no idea what to do about it-so I ignored it. Then last fall I had a diabetes scare and I realized I could no longer ignore the problem. Fast forward 8 months and I'm almost 50 pounds lighter, am no longer pre-diabetic, and I'm in the best shape of my life

HotMummyMission

My boyfriends a feeder

cmeade20

A great love for wine, pizza and Chinese food coupled with a lack of love for any kind of physical activity.

caiitlin23

I got pregnant by a person that I did not love, and it sent me into a horrible depression. I weighed 110 pre-pregnancy and right after I gave birth I was 201, and I am 4'11". It has been 17 months since I had my wonderful daughter and I am 50 lbs down, and feeling a lot happier and healthier. I still have a ways to go, but I am definitely on my way.

tenajh

Interesting thread, somewhat depressing, but most enlightening. Lots of affliction here, but there is also a lot of support. :flowerforyou: My physical health is still my primary issue, but I am back at my goal weight, learning more all the time.

JDBLY11

I've been asked, what made you decide to lose weight? How are you losing weight? but rarely does anyone ask why? I had a chat with my mom ans she was the first to ask- why did you let yourslef go? How did you gain all that weight is pretty obvious-food and lack of movement...

When I was a teenager I dated a guy who I liked,but he was embarrased to be seen with me or have anyone know we were hanging out as more than friends.I knew deep down that was why we never went on dates in public.I learned through a school mate how he trully felt. Needless to say it crushed me and was a catalyst in my weight gain.

I had to protect myself from being hurt by a guy ever again.I figured if you can't take me as I am now (heavy) and see past looks, then why bother with you or love?

Years past and I only ever dated 2 guys after that experience one of them being my husband who has loved me through all my sizes,but understands I need to lose this weight for me.Which makes me feel like the luckiest girl alive ^u^

So I ask you now why did you let yourself go?

I have been heavy since I was 7 or 8 so I did not really let myself go. I have always been let go. I pretty much have let myself eat what I want my whole life even if it made me heavy. When I was younger I did not really know what I needed to do to get thinner. I tried being more active and eating healthier but that did not really stop me from being overweight. I did WW at different times when I became an adult but I stopped soon after I started. I can't remember why.

The last 5 or so years I gained weight because of stress eating and just having freedom to eat in the portions I want. I don't have my family around anymore to keep me in check. I do not have as many outlets and ways to get activity either because I live in an apartment and my husband and I have financial problems and there is just not as much to do where I live in a very rural area. I was on a medicine that made me very hungry the past few years after being hospitalized and I did not realize it was the medicines until a few months ago. I had been trying to get back on program all of last year but I could not seem to reign in my eating because I was so hungry. I was gaining like 2 lbs a week most of the year when nothing was wrong really I was just so hungry and could never feel when I was full. Also it made me kind of apathetic about my weight and activity levels. I had no sex drive either which is a big motivation to be at a healthy weight. Now I feel fine after getting off that particular medicine. I am losing great. I don't feel super hungry. I feel like I am back to being me.

Dewdropps

I didn't do it consciously. Honestly I was eating almost nothing for 2 years, and I was steadily gaining weight. I couldn't figure out why. Sure, I wasn't moving either, but I really couldn't figure it out. I would go all week barely eating anything, maybe a tuna sandwich or egg salad a couple days and then a few cookies the other days. In years before that, I ate anything I wanted. Fast food, sweets, the greasier the better, and I was pretty steady at around 140 which I was comfortable with. (ok, not really. I still thought I was fat, but nobody else did)

When I joined here, I had just thought what I needed was some major workouts, because, as I said, I wasn't moving really AT ALL for the two years I was gaining. It was only just yesterday I saw those cookies in the store I used to eat and looked at the nutrition facts..., a major contributing factor.

I may not have been eating much in quantity, but what I was eating... aka... those cookies... my favorite... are 340 calories PER COOKIE.. and I would sometimes 3 times a week eat 12 of them in a day. Add that to not moving and the other tiny things I was eating... I was putting on nearly a pound a day! Heaven help me!

It is truly amazing what we learn.

coozine

Didn't realize how chubby I was getting until I had packed on about 40 extra pounds. Mostly due to married life and I like to cook and eat!

AngelBaby7041

I don't even remember when I left myself go. I'm only 19 and I remember being 8 and over weight!!! But back then my friends just called it "baby weight" all I heard back then was "Its just baby weight She'll lose it". Then remember back in elementary school, this Guy I liked said he would be my boyfriend if I was "a little" smaller. HE ACTUALLY MEASURED MY THIGH TO SEE HOW SMALL HE WANTED ME TO BE!!!! Then he said "Naaaah"

That really hurt me though. And it still hurts now After that I kinda stopped caring how much I ate.. then I hit middle school. Which through me into a depression all the way through high school...MAKE THE MEMOIRS GO AWAY!!!!!!

KristiLeighS

Why is the question, isn't it? Well, where to begin....
My parents had a volatile marriage and got divorced when I was 10
I was sexually and physically abused by several men
I got pregnant when I was 14 and miscarried right before my 15th birthday
I mean the story just goes on and on.
I didn't know how to cope with anything and I had no one to talk to so I ate. I ate, drank, and smoked and ruined my body in the process. I did anything I could to feel numb and to try to protect myself.
I am now older and wiser and am ready to change my life

RockandRoseRebel

I think it was just a really bad foundation and then bad habits. I mean, I thought I was a little fat pretty much my whole life, but looking back at old pictures, I realize I was normal sized and sometimes even really skinny. There's a picture of me getting out of the water at the lake when I was 11 and I'm all legs and lank, but I remember that day and I definitely didn't feel like it. But I was never really knew what I weighted or worried about it until middle school. 7th grade I was 4'11 and I think 110-ish pounds. 8th grade I was 5'3" and 120-ish. 9th grade I grew to 5'6" and 138lbs. At all of these weights I could have lost maybe ten pounds or so if I'd wanted to, but I was normal.

Then things got worse at home after that (they were never really ever "good") and I was home a lot without much to do so I ate cuz I was bored. I didn't really know anything about eating healthy and even thought I wanted to watch what I ate and exercise and stuff, I never really did because it was an unspoken rule that diet and exercise weren't allowed. A few times I did some workouts I found in a teen magazine I'd bought, but it was hard to stick to the plan because in order to do it, I'd lock myself in the bathroom after everyone had gone to bed so no one would know I was working out.

And then there were all the bad habits I'd learned from my mother who when I was little made us eat until we were painfully full (she'd feel our stomachs to decide if we'd eaten "enough" and if not she'd make us eat more until she was satisfied) and we were never allowed to leave food on our plates. Half a pizza, 1/2-1lb of spaghetti, 1/4 gal of ice cream were considered "portions" to be eaten all at once. My mom thought she was buying healthy food because she liked to buy organic, whole wheat, and from the health food store. Problem was, it was never balanced. Always heavy on beans, dairy (especially cheese and milk!), and grain (bread, tortillas, pasta), but she rarely ever bought much in the way of fruit, veggies, and meat because they were "too expensive."

So at 16 I was 5'8" and 185 lbs. Since then I've been trying to lose weight, not really knowing what it's like to be a normal person, my weight fluctuating constantly between 175 and 200lbs. This last time I got over 200 because I finished hair school last fall and with nothing better to do, I just ate. This morning I weighed myself (I've been afraid to since I got up to 201 in Dec) and was almost 207, a good 25lbs heavier than I was in September. I've never been able to get all the way down to my goal weight because I've never stuck with anything long enough to get lower than 172lbs. I think the problem was, I was trying to follow all of the advice and since a lot of it is conflicting, it was impossible and I'd give up. Now though, I've had about 5 years of experience in what does and doesn't work for me and I think that this time I can do it.

My first round with MFP was in December was a fail because I couldn't choose a calorie limit and stick with it (conflicting advice, remember), so I just gave up. Now, I've got a set number that I plan to eat every day and I just finished day 3 and it's actually pretty easy. It's not pleasant telling myself no, but it's pretty easy because I'm not trying to follow ALL the rules this time, just the most important ones.

aphroditesmaiden

I grew up in a family of heavy people. When I was a young girl and wasn't living with my family, and just with my mom, I was heavy. Once I moved in with the rest of the family, food became a central part of my life. My grandmother would cook heavy meals which were sometimes deep fried. As a child, I couldn't resist the delicious taste, and seconds became a part of life. The food made was often created through means of prepackaging rather than natural sources, and there were also sweets everywhere. While all of this was going on, no one bothered to teach me about self-control and portion control. They were mere suggestions or general ideas. I became a fat kid.
When I moved in with my mother again, I lost thirty pounds at age 11. That's huge for a child. I became afraid of food and what it could do to ruin my body. I came close to anorexia before my mother convinced me otherwise. I gained a little weight, but not much. Then I moved back in with my family, followed by a slow weight gain process which caused me to need new clothes every so often up into high school. I also attribute this weight gain to becoming a guinea pig for anti-depressants for 8 or 9 years.
My heaviest weight was around 220 lbs when I was 17 or 18 and was with a mentally abusive boyfriend. He would always eat heavy food around me and encourage me to do the same because he believed that women with self-esteem would leave him for all of the b.s. that he put them through. After we broke up, I dropped 20 lbs which I slowly gained back.
I maintained for a few years until my friend suggested that we go to massage school. In this school, I was taught the importance of listening to my true self, particularly in the energy work program that I also took while I was there. In December of 2011, I stopped taking my anti-depressants (without a doctor's permission), but was able to maintain my mood through techniques of energy work that I learned at school. As the program continued, I did different things such as the Master Cleanse to break away from the majority of artificial foods. Finally, in April 2012, I stumbled upon myfitnesspal through a suggestion made by a friend. I tried it and began to drop weight that I didn't think I could lose.
Now, a little over a year later, I have lost 76.5 lbs and I feel and look like a different person than when I started. By gaining control of my emotions, and finding self-control even though I still live with my family and have a new boyfriend who loves food that isn't exactly healthy, I plan on being small for the rest of my life (still working toward small and toned ).

kf3535

I gained weight when I lost our baby. After she died I stopped wanting to live I was so depressed. So I ate whatever was handy and didn't get out of bed unless I had to. Two years later I finally started to get over my depression and realized how heavy I had gotten.

I changed how much I ate and lost 50lbs. But I got horribly sick and ended up hospitalized from two very rare diseases and when I was released I gained over 30 lbs back. I hate the way I look and want to fix it for myself, my husband and hopefully for a family someday.

MysticRealm

Simply, cause I like food, and like to use it if I am sad or bored or tired.

Mrsallypants

Chronic pain from an old injury, stress and depression from a former relationship, Seasonal Affective Disorder, and i felt that I was getting too big (not fat, but muscle and people calling me out on it made me uncomfortable).