Why did you let yourself go?...

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Replies

  • Look beside you sister. We were cut from the same cloth.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    I just didn't care enough about myself. Yep, this is it. I think we take care of everyone but ourselves. I also had parents who made me feel like I didnt matter.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    I also dont like to confront and problem solving has been a problem for me. I eat rather than deal. Doing much better with this, I have had to distance myself from dysfunction uncaring parents now knowing it was them and not me, I thought there was something wrong with me. This is hard to share. I had selfish parents who catered to my X husband and turned their head on me when I needed support. They did not want to be bothered. They would have him and her up on holidays and tell me how pretty she was, ouch. Parents were just into themselves, wild type, insensitive,neglectful just like my X, no wonder they got along so well.

    I just had a situation at work I had to confront, was treated like sh#t, I knew I deserved better treatment and told her. Then was I ready to work on my overeating.

    I guess I didnt think I was worth much, now I know I am worth taking care of.
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    For most people weight gain is gradual. Some people might not realize they have gained weight until stepping on a scale for the first time in years.

    Of course this is more plausible for someone who has gained 10 pounds than for someone who has gained 100+

    Health is so much more than just a number. We should all be monitoring other areas of out health/fitness as well.
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
    Why did I let myself go? To avoid sex, I think.
  • BigBrunette
    BigBrunette Posts: 1,543 Member
    I built a layer of insulation around myself, literally and figuratively. Now that I'm comfortable with who I am, I no longer need that insulation. I'm shedding it a pound at a time.
  • aronao
    aronao Posts: 112 Member
    Why? Any answer is just an excuse but if I had to make some excuses they would be:
    1. That I was tired (I'm a mother of an 8yo and a 4 yo), especially in the time that my youngest one was waking up every night at least once if not more)
    2. That juggling work, 2 kids and the rest of life took up all my energy
    3. That I just could not be bothered with the discipline it takes for me to keep my weight under control
    4. That I've been fat all my life and the amount of effort it takes to keep tabs on my weight is too overwhelming so it's easier to just eat what I want and not worry about the weight
  • A_Fit_Mom
    A_Fit_Mom Posts: 602 Member
    There are a few factors. I lost weight in my early 20's and looked great. Then I got pregnant and really bounced back well and looked great by his first birthday. Then I slowly gained about 10-15 pounds back in a few years after and got pregnant with my second.

    The second pregnancy... I used the excuse of being pregnant to eat fast food...eat all the sweets I wanted etc. so I gained about 25-30 pounds. And ever since he was born a couple years ago..I never lost the weight. I just kept my habit of eating fast food and eating sweets.
  • I grew struggling with weight and not much confidence in my ability...I grew out of my denial and started trying new things now I'm planting a garden!
  • bbl2013t
    bbl2013t Posts: 49 Member
    boyfriend wanted me fat
    stress
    started emotional eating
    stopped dieting/starving
    stopped exercising
    luv food eating contests
  • kuntry_navy
    kuntry_navy Posts: 677 Member
    alcohol. i'd close down the bar, get home and clean out the cupboards
  • chelseascounter
    chelseascounter Posts: 1,283 Member
    Denial then once I realized how much I gained(pair of shorts that were too big before were now too small) I thought "maybe I'm supposed to be fat" but that was just my dumb excuse to keep on eating.
  • Vailara
    Vailara Posts: 2,473 Member
    Good question. I didn't have to watch my weight at all through my 20s and most of my 30s. I didn't think too much about what I ate and my weight always stayed around 120 lb (except when I was ill, stressed, or the couple of times I dieted, when I would lose weight). I first put on weight when I was pregnant in my 30s, but I lost all the baby weight without dieting. I went through stages in my life when I was very active, and stages where I was more sedentary, but my weight stayed just the same.

    So when I did start to gain weight, I didn't want to interfere too much with that natural process. I hoped the eventually my body would find a healthy weight again, and although I did try dieting a few times, there were reasons why I felt it was unhealthy for me.

    Funnily enough, my body DID find another "set point" which it maintained for a few years. Unfortunately it was a very high set point!

    I never did find out why I suddenly started gaining weight after not having to think about it for so many years. Possibly it was just to do with aging.
  • oldandhealthier
    oldandhealthier Posts: 449 Member
    depression and lazy, and after giving it more thought I come from a generation where our parents hammered to clean our plates no matter if we were full or not. Grew up on high starch food. We have come a long way on healthier foods since the 50's.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    When my husband died four years ago it only took a few months for me to gain about 30 of the 50 pounds I had lost years prior. I made some attempts to lose it but really wasn't putting in much of an effort. Now I'm working hard to get the weight off and get rid of the physical baggage from that time.
  • kindasortachewy
    kindasortachewy Posts: 1,084 Member
    Two very (naturally don't work at it at all) skinny sisters - Realizing I was never going to look like them so I might as well be a complete slob. Terrible thought process

    Then in middle school I was raped and I didnt want to feel attractive anymore because of it. Terrible thought process again

    I don't dwell on either, they both got me HERE and HERE is a great place to be.
  • TheBigYin
    TheBigYin Posts: 5,686 Member
    10 years of working from home, whilst caring for both parents - My Mother through inoperable bowel & bladder cancer for 4 years before the inevitable, My Father other through the aftermath of a stroke. 2 Years ago, realised that in spending all my time and attention on looking after them, I'd given up on myself, and was in such a terrible state that it was possible that my dad may outlive me... So, I decided to lose some weight and get fit - first thing that popped up in a Google search that wasn't pay-as-you-go or "miracle diet pills" was MFP, so I decided to give it a go.

    2 years later and 166lb lighter, I'm fitter than I've been for over 20 years. Sadly, my Dad hasn't survived to see me getting towards my eventual goal - but I know he was proud of what I achieved before he passed away last month.
  • yinkyo
    yinkyo Posts: 78 Member
    My family has been pretty heavy as far back as I can remember, but only because we've all had an eating problem. My mom was sooo skinny before having her 2nd child (she lost all the weight after me ^_^ xD) but she started to put on the weight after that.... and my dad started putting on the weight after he got out of the Coast Guard. We would eat 2-3 servings of food per person a meal, and we all have sweet teeth. So I've always struggled with my weight, but at least back before my 20's I was the smallest of my family of 5 (even though I was the oldest sibling, and the 2nd tallest)

    The first time I moved, I moved to the city and quickly lost weight. I wasn't eating as much, I was constantly on the move, and just generally being a bit healthier. But then I moved back home and sank back into my old habits, and put on a bit of weight again.

    Then I moved out to my boyfriends' with his Grandma... I felt like a total stranger most of the time, rarely left my room, and even more rarely left the house except for work. I also finally got my license and started driving places instead of having to walk.

    The last straw was a fairly difficult pregnancy, where I lost almost 20lbs from constant throwing up, and then had to gain it all back, plus more >_< Afterwards, I was put on bed rest... and just decided that was the last straw, apparently I was not meant to be skinny.

    But now, I have a son who refuses to stop moving, and I want to keep up with him. I want to be healthy and teach him to be healthy. and I want to feel desirable again, my fiance loves me for who i am, heavy or not, but I want to love myself too... and I can't. Plus... my little sister and I are close in weight now... and I want to at least still be able to claim skinniest of us all xDD

    TL;DR: Always been heavier, moved, and stopped getting out as much as before, then had a baby.
  • bigmama777
    bigmama777 Posts: 1
    you are awesome already
  • BackToFree
    BackToFree Posts: 58 Member
    I ask myself the same question regularly, and I'm still not sure if I have an answer I'm happy with. It's a very deep question.

    Sometimes I tell myself it's because I had kids, but 50kgs is a lot of "baby weight" to be carrying four years later, and truth be told, I gained 10kgs with the first, and stayed the same with the 2nd, so I gained in between and after.

    Sometimes I tell myself that I got comfortable, and stopped caring so much because I wasn't putting myself out there (in the dating world) anymore. I've gained the majority of my weight in the nearly 5 years I've been married, so it's plausible.

    Sometimes I blame it on the depression. I got depressed after a miscarriage in 2010, which got worse after I suffered another miscarriage. I ate for comfort, hoping that I'd stop feeling empty.

    Sometimes I dismiss it because everyone in my family (on both sides) is overweight or obese, so it's "in my genetic code" to end up built like the rest of them.

    Mostly, I think maybe it is a mix of all of the above, thrown in with some serious self esteem issues and a hormonal imbalance that makes it easy to gain and 10x harder to lose. I figured, why try to run against the tide, when it's easier to just go with the flow. I'm lazy, I'm unmotivated, and I really didn't care enough to try to put the effort in. I use food as a crutch. I eat when I'm sad, angry, tired, bored, happy, and just because I can. I think you really need to want it to take the leap to start, and I've never been sure that I actually want it enough.
  • MelStren
    MelStren Posts: 457 Member
    Because our society allows mothers to use pregnancy and having children as a valid excuse to get fat and stay that way. Pure and simple. I used my children as an excuse to not work out.

    This^^^^^. and then I just got lazy. It was too easy to just sit and eat. Still is but I refuse to go back there.
  • karagreeves
    karagreeves Posts: 6 Member
    Because our society allows mothers to use pregnancy and having children as a valid excuse to get fat and stay that way. Pure and simple. I used my children as an excuse to not work out.


    I love this!! :)

    When I complain about my weight people say, 'you have had 2 kids' but I know deep down that the weight is there because i have eaten too much and moved to little for the last few years!
  • amanda_newell
    amanda_newell Posts: 6 Member
    Me too!
  • amanda_newell
    amanda_newell Posts: 6 Member
    I dint even know what is in style now! That is how long its been since i went shopping. Ive been hiding behind my glasses and ponytail/bun for YEARS!
  • deacs5one
    deacs5one Posts: 10 Member
    Youth!!!

    With a sedentary lifestyle with a family and at work, getting older has definitely caught up with me, but I'm fighting back now with a lifestyle change.
  • amanda_newell
    amanda_newell Posts: 6 Member
    I avoid the camera too..... It is jarring sometimes to see myself how i am instead of how i was before...in my head im still not soo fat
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member
    My mother hit menopause and gained a little weight(she has never been heavy). She made a comment about how good I looked and that I need to keep it up because eventually your body revolts. I knew she was unhappy with her weight and that is a trigger for me. I began to eat and gain(so she felt better in comparison). I reached 198 lbs more than I weighed 9 months pregnant! My mother pulled me aside and told me I needed to get control of my weight for her health! Turns out she has the same trigger as I do. Now we are sharing our victories and not our failures pushing each other to be healthy if not for ourselves than tor the health of each other.
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    Because drinking was my priority. I did not realize I was letting myself go until I got sober. I did not realize what horrible things I was doing to my body. I loved drinking and I did it a few nights a week. I never intended to drink the whole bottle of wine, just a glass, but before you knew it, I justified drinking the whole thing, then a few beers after that.

    So then bad food choices are made, which we justify as okay because I was never going to drink like that again. Of course exercise on a consistent basis was out of the question. And the cycle continued and it was okay, after all, I was only hurting me.

    One day I woke up and realized it was not okay for anyone else to hurt me, why was it okay for me to hurt me?

    I stopped drinking and started making one change in my life at a time. After I started getting better with the food, I added in a little bit of exercise, 2 miles a day, then 3, then 5 then I started running.

    <<<<< 5 years and 35 weeks later, (actually 34 weeks because I took this pic last week) this is what is happening.
  • VickiDiane22
    VickiDiane22 Posts: 114 Member
    I was getting older and my eating and exercise habits didn't change and the weight just gradually sneaked up on me. It didn't help that I had health issues that put me on 7 different kinds of meds with the side affect of weight gain. Then one day the Dr. said I had Type 2 diabetes and told me to get on MFP and change my life style. So here I am and it's working slowly but surely.
  • shannongoneau
    shannongoneau Posts: 246 Member
    Physically: I wasn't paying attention to how much I was eating and how little I was moving and the ever loving freshman 15 *cough* 30 *cough*. Psychologically: When I was smaller it put me into a lot of awkward situations that I wasn't ready to deal with, maybe wasn't equiped to deal with. It was easier to blend in being bigger. I went from a size 2 to a size 18 in six years.