Wait...Guys like me now??

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lydia_the_tattooed_lady
lydia_the_tattooed_lady Posts: 324 Member
in Chit-Chat
I know I should've seen this coming, but it caught me off guard. I've been overweight since puberty so this is a definite first for me: All of a sudden guys are taking notice of me. Like, a lot of guys. And I have no clue how to process this :/ Specifically, I don't really know how to nicely let a guy know I'm not interested. Two friends of the guy I AM interested in have been trying really hard to flirt with me but I have no idea how to respond lol This is probably just a bunch of silliness to you guys but it's foreign to me! Any advice???
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Replies

  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
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    have fun with it and flirt back. just because you flirt doesn't mean you have to hook up with them. And hey, maybe the guy you are interested in will take notice :wink:
  • chosanjuan
    chosanjuan Posts: 13 Member
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    Just roll with it. I'm pretty sure there are WAY more out there that you are completely oblivious about. ;)
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    Enjoy it, and don't be so hung up on the guy you want to flirt with you that you miss great opportunities.
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
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    Could be that now with weight loss, you carry yourself with more confidence. This catches a guy's eye too
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
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    don't play with people's feelings. Just tell them you see them as good friends but nothing more.
  • Turtlehurdle
    Turtlehurdle Posts: 412
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    In my mind, I would probably think "Oh, now you like me? Well, f_ck off!!".
  • lydia_the_tattooed_lady
    lydia_the_tattooed_lady Posts: 324 Member
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    Yeah I kinda feel the same way: I don't want a guy who only likes me now that I've lost weight. F_ck that sh_t. Also, I am not one to play games. I don't play hard to get, or coy or anything else. I'm pretty honest and straightforward. I hate being confused so I don't like to make somebody else go through that too. Plus I suck at flirting lol

    Editing to say that I do need to keep my options open :) I have a bad habit of focusing on one person and ignoring every other guy lol
  • MrDude_1
    MrDude_1 Posts: 2,510 Member
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    Yeah I kinda feel the same way: I don't want a guy who only likes me now that I've lost weight. F_ck that sh_t. Also, I am not one to play games. I don't play hard to get, or coy or anything else. I'm pretty honest and straightforward. I hate being confused so I don't like to make somebody else go through that too. Plus I suck at flirting lol

    yea.. because a guy isnt deserving of someone that maintains a healthy body weight.... they should have loved you when you were fatter. right?
  • lydia_the_tattooed_lady
    lydia_the_tattooed_lady Posts: 324 Member
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    You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,158 Member
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    There are no magic words that fit every situation. Each guy is an individual and what works for one guy well might not work at all with another guy. That being said, keep it simple and honest.
  • StephieF87
    StephieF87 Posts: 60 Member
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    I say there is nothing wrong with flirting, but to the ones that are just friends, try to keep it on friend levels (you know the friend zone, "I love ya buddy"...etc)
  • chrlslove7
    chrlslove7 Posts: 136 Member
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    In my mind, I would probably think "Oh, now you like me? Well, f_ck off!!".

    :laugh:

    I understand attraction can increase the healthier a girl looks, but I still think that ^^. Glad I married a guy that looked right past all that when he met me. Good luck op and don't let the new attention blind yourself from a good-hearted and unshallow boy.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
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    Something to remember: Just because I guy likes/loves/wants you, does not mean you are obligated in any way to return the favor.

    Be friendly and flirt if you feel like it, but it's perfectly okay to maintain a distance if someone makes you uncomfortable, too.

    It's kind of fun to walk up to a door with no intention of opening it for yourself, especially if you are dressed up in makeup and high heels, because 9 times out of 10, some guy will lunge ahead to get it for you. :-D That's in my area, anyway. Depending where you live, YMMV.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    In my mind, I would probably think "Oh, now you like me? Well, f_ck off!!".
    This kind of attitude really grinds my gears. Why shouldn't we judge a potential partner for how well they look after themselves? Someone overweight is inherently less attractive to me than the same person, but a healthy weight. Is that really wrong, really?
  • chrlslove7
    chrlslove7 Posts: 136 Member
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    It's kind of fun to walk up to a door with no intention of opening it for yourself

    Huh??:noway:
  • lilawolf
    lilawolf Posts: 1,690 Member
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    Flirt gently back at them! It will make you feel good about yourself. If they start getting more serious and you still aren't, say something like "Hey, I have a ton of fun talking to you, and I'm flattered that you are interested, but I'm not ready to take this anywhere serious right now."

    There are a couple of people that I flirt with a little even though I am happily married. I sat them down at the beginning, looked them in the eye, and said "this is fun, and I like you, but friends and a little flirting is all this will EVER be. Are you ok with that?" They both know my husband pretty well and he knows we dance and hang out, but we have a lot of trust, and its ok. Doesn't hurt that when I hang out with those friends it is usually at the bar where my mom bartends lol.
  • hanneberries
    hanneberries Posts: 119 Member
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    In my mind, I would probably think "Oh, now you like me? Well, f_ck off!!".

    But how do you know if they're guys you didn't meet before you had your weight loss, or started it, at least?

    I recently met a guy whom I'm quite interested, who seems interested in me. Personally in my mind I'm convinced I wouldn't have had a chance 26lbs ago, but I hadn't met him then.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
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    If you aren't interested in them then your not, but who says you can't go out and have some fun. Plus if the guy your interested in hasn't noticed you yet then screw him and move on. You can date more than one guy at a time(well not the same night) as long as your honest with that person and tell him your not ready for a one on one yet so your keeping your date book wide open.
  • MrDude_1
    MrDude_1 Posts: 2,510 Member
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    It's kind of fun to walk up to a door with no intention of opening it for yourself, especially if you are dressed up in makeup and high heels, because 9 times out of 10, some guy will lunge ahead to get it for you.


    I prefer the passive-aggressive approach of holding open the door for someone that is coming, and looking at them... Forcing them to speed up because you're holding the door.

    that's also fun.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    It's kind of fun to walk up to a door with no intention of opening it for yourself, especially if you are dressed up in makeup and high heels, because 9 times out of 10, some guy will lunge ahead to get it for you.


    I prefer the passive-aggressive approach of holding open the door for someone that is coming, and looking at them... Forcing them to speed up because you're holding the door.

    that's also fun.

    You're on of THOSE guys! So awkward when guys hold the door open for you when you're not even close.

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