Wait...Guys like me now??

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  • Ezzie
    Ezzie Posts: 665 Member
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    Have you considered that you may have played the wallflower a bit when you were bigger, and now that you feel more confident you're actually noticing other people paying attention to you more? Enjoy it! Embrace it! Live your life, because you only get one shot at it.

    Thinking that confidence you have now may be exactly what makes you more desirable. I found out that NOT focusing on 'the goal' (of a certain guy, getting laid, looking for a husband...etc,etc) and just letting life unfold while perusing your personal goals and enjoying the people around you was my ticket to happiness.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.

    Wrong. Your personality DOES change with weight loss. Or rather, your real personality shines through..

    *humps your leg*

    ^^See. Girlfriend just exudes confidence. Bet she would have only given me a mild frisking when she was heavier.



    *humps right back*
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Sometimes the waters run a bit shallow
  • Danielle_2013
    Danielle_2013 Posts: 806 Member
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    This topic is near and dear to my heart. First off- congrats for the loss and newfound confidence!
    I am also experiencing a large upswing of male attention. It does not suck. At all.
    However.. I also have questions in my head such as "well.. why didn't you like me 70 lbs ago? I was the same person etc.".. or wanting to be with someone only if they would have wanted me at my highest weight and this sort of thing.
    I think we all want someone who is going to love us unconditionally.. but to be honest?

    I wasn't as confident and happy with myself before. I wasn't as attractive. I wasn't the same person I am now - happy, optimistic, super confident. So.. why should I expect every guy to have been attracted to me before? Is it shallow to have natural preferences? Really? I don't think so. I think we want to write men off quickly and call them shallow..but hey - regardless of whether you are the best person in the world.. if you are a guy who is a foot shorter than me.. I am just not going to be attracted to you.

    Additionally.. I want a partner that has high standards for himself in terms of his health and general fitness ..because that's where I want to be too. I've made over my lifestyle and perspective completely.. I think it is natural to want someone who shares that. Is it shallow to want to be with someone fit? Well I don't think so.. because it shows a mind/body perspective and a clear lifestyle choice. It doesn't just have to be all about the appearances (though they are a major factor too).
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    I love seeing the before/after pics here. In the 'before' pic, you can maybe see a glint of a smile, but a lot of the times, you can see shyness, hurt, or that the person is just putting on a face for the camera. Inside, they're probably thinking, "Oh, god, that picture-taking machine that I hate so much. This again. Fantastic. Oh well, smile."

    ... but in so many of the after pictures, you see people smiling brightly, genuinely, full of pride. They KNOW they look better, they feel better, and they've earned that sense of accomplishment. They're genuinely happy and proud and smiling with this depth of excitement they haven't felt in a long while.

    Gets me every time.

    :flowerforyou:
  • cubizzle
    cubizzle Posts: 900 Member
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    You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.

    Wrong. Your personality DOES change with weght loss. Or rather, your real personality shines through..


    Example: When I was obese, I had a tendency to keep more to myself. I was still outspoken, blunt, and sometimes abrasive, but I wouldn't just strike up a conversation with a random person. I also wasn't near as sarcastic or ridiculously silly as I am now.

    After losing over a hundred pounds, I now have the confidence to talk to random strangers, and care less about what they think of me. I'm much more extroverted, and generally a much more optimistic person. Seriously, some days, like today, I crap rainbows. I was never like that as an obese person.

    What I'm saying is, due to your newfound confidence in your physical appearance, certain elements of your personality might be shining through now more than before. And men are noticing that.

    Yes, men CAN be very shallow. So can women. But sometimes, you have to give them credit. Maybe these guys never noticed your personality because you were too busy trying to go unnoticed?


    Oh and like another poster said confidence is the key word here. It's like a drug to men. They love it.


    :flowerforyou:

    This is the answer....END F'N THREAD!!
  • lachesissss
    lachesissss Posts: 1,298 Member
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    I think you should treat them how you want to be treated. If you aren't interested, let them know. If you are, go with it. Enjoy the attention you're receiving. As for the other posters comments, I agree. Confidence can trump weight, every time. If you like yourself and are enjoying the new you, chances are someone else will too. Good Luck!
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
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    There are no magic words that fit every situation. Each guy is an individual and what works for one guy well might not work at all with another guy. That being said, keep it simple and honest.

    Be honest. If a guy really cared for you it wouldn't matter what you weighed.
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
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    There are no magic words that fit every situation. Each guy is an individual and what works for one guy well might not work at all with another guy. That being said, keep it simple and honest.

    Be honest. If a guy really cared for you it wouldn't matter what you weighed.
  • louiselebeau
    louiselebeau Posts: 220 Member
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    Could be that now with weight loss, you carry yourself with more confidence. This catches a guy's eye too

    I have been smaller and bigger... I know that one thing a man always notices before anything else is your confidence.
  • deedeehopes
    deedeehopes Posts: 39 Member
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    It's happened to me too!! It's so strange! Hahaha enjoy the attention x)
  • waronmyfat
    waronmyfat Posts: 322 Member
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    have fun and flirt back... giggle and smile alot lightly touch his arm whilst laughing its a suttle hint lets him know your interested... guys love it .... enjoy it :)
  • ashort1623
    ashort1623 Posts: 12 Member
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    Happened to me :) Just roll with it- you have no obligations- Stand tall, be confident, and flirt back- No harm no foul!
  • teletubbie87
    teletubbie87 Posts: 78 Member
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    It happens to the best of guy, prior to joining MFP I lost 30pds, so imagine 40pds lighter, ppl will notice....

    At first it really bugs to see that guys who have known you for a very long time now decide you are attractive,
    and want to take you out when before they barely noticed you....
    well, my advice to you is to just meet people and decide on who to hang out, talk, date, etc. Don't mind that guy
    you want to flirt with, you are a very pretty girl and you WANT GUYS TO COME TO YOU not the other way around.

    I say be friends with guys and hang out... No friends with benefits please.... And you will find the man who steals your
    heart and loves you for who you are, loves everything about you starting with your personality, sense of humor, etc.
    And you know wouldn't change you even if you gained a little weight again.
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,158 Member
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    There are no magic words that fit every situation. Each guy is an individual and what works for one guy well might not work at all with another guy. That being said, keep it simple and honest.

    Be honest. If a guy really cared for you it wouldn't matter what you weighed.
    Agreed... but in order to care about you, the guy needs to get to know you first. Flirting is part of that "getting to know" ritual.
  • Jenerferzzz
    Jenerferzzz Posts: 148 Member
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    It's funny I was just talking about this with my friend at work. I have always been a very shy and awkward person when it comes to social situations with people I don't know well. So when Men started hitting on me oh man the awkward times roll. I agree with that the confidence boost you probably now have is a big factor because I noticed after I started being more confident with myself and being more outgoing is when the attention started. Good luck! :D
  • AngryDiet
    AngryDiet Posts: 1,349 Member
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    You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.

    I suggest you find a nice blind guy, since you don't want looks to influence his feelings.
  • AngryDiet
    AngryDiet Posts: 1,349 Member
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    It's kind of fun to walk up to a door with no intention of opening it for yourself, especially if you are dressed up in makeup and high heels, because 9 times out of 10, some guy will lunge ahead to get it for you.


    I prefer the passive-aggressive approach of holding open the door for someone that is coming, and looking at them... Forcing them to speed up because you're holding the door.

    that's also fun.

    Haha!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Yes. I will judge you by your weight and level of fitness. I need to know that someone I am considering partnering myself with, has a healthy sense of personal responsibility, pride, strength and coping skills. I don't want someone who binges when they have feelings they can't process. I don't want someone that isn't active every single day. I don't want someone that doesn't understand that laziness lack of willpower and bad nutrition affect both halves of a partnership. I don't want someone grossly out of shape, I work hard hard hard on my body and I deserve the same. Yeah, I deserve it. An equal I look up to in everything important to me. That wont take my sht when im putting out excuses left and right, or when I stop teaching for new goals.

    No, I wouldn't like you at any weight, and you wouldn't have liked me before I changed as well.. taking control of your life and health changes your personality and I have no desire for someone who's personality is not there yet.

    Ill be your friend, but I wont be your other half. Halves are equals.
  • McBully4
    McBully4 Posts: 1,270 Member
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    for everyone

    tumblr_m7w2w1fu8f1qjk7vv.gif

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