When your family is insane... need help.

FireRox21

All that is easy to say unless your watching a diabetic wife of twenty years kill herself slowly by refusing to come terms with the fact she is ill!

I don't believe there is anything I nor anyone else could say that could say what you are feeling. Is there any chance you could get your wife to read these message boards to let her know how you are feeling? Maybe writing a personal letter and setting a romantic, yet "painfully" thoughtful dinner could help you express your feelings?

estherguas

I can totally relate...Growing up my family always ate a very delicious but super unhealthy diet...I'm puerto rican and cuban and us latinos tend to eat masses of rice, pork, heavy sauces and fried items like empanadillas (dough filled with ground beef and deep fried) and papa rellenas (ground meat inside of a mashed potato ball breaded and deep fried) Our foods are highly seasoned and full of fat...when we eat pork we eat the fried skin and all...lol my mother used to cook her butt of when I was a kid and meals always included rice, potatoes, beans wih a rich sauce, yuca, and bread oh yeah and a big slab of pernil (roasted pork) or chicken with the skin on again in a rich sauce...my mother would always ask us before serving us our plate "how hungry are you" and I would always say I'm hungry and she would serve me a plate that could probably have fed 3 people easily (I seriously do not remember eating veggies EVER).. and I would devour it of course...I'm not blaming my mother she did the best she could and she was an awesome cook and she loved for us to enjoy her cooking..but I think that my idea of what a normal portion of food should look like was seriously warped.. I don't know what advice I could give you regarding helping your family to see that eating the way that they eating is only going to cause them pain, and possible sickness....as the others have stated your best bet is live by example...hopefully they will see the light.


futfurd - my mother is now 73 years old, she has type 2 diabetes and recently her breast cancer returned...she does not take care of herself.. sometime I believe she is trying to kill herself with the foods she eats. She lives on her own and I primarily take her grocery shopping and her cart is always filled with garbage.. she'll spend 150 bucks and there will be maybe 50 dollars worth of real food...she's always making excuses saying that she's buying candy for her grandchild witch is a lie.. or she'll say oh these chocolates will last me months but when I go to her house she's eaten them all.. I've tried to make her put things I know she should have back when she grabs them but she just gets mad and says I'm not a child...I truly believe that she will never change.. shes 73...
I would simply tell your wife that you love her and it hurts you to see her hurt herself, tell her that you don't want her diabetes to get worse.. shop and cook healthier maybe if you modify your diet as well she will be more apt to follow.
Good Luck.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

BamaRose0107

Sometimes it is hard to just sit by and watch family members going down such an unhealthy road. Both my mom and dad have heart problems, my mom is diabetic and they both have weight problems. I tried to talk to them about the foods they ate and I even have told them it scares me to think about how bad their health is. I want them to be around to see their grandkids when I have a child. With all that I found that they did not have a problem with the way they ate, what it is doing to them or how it was effecting their weight. Sometimes you can scream and yell at someone but if they are not ready to listen you might as well be yelling at a brick wall. Motivation and the want to be healthy is a personal journey. I feel for your family and I know how you feel but in the end the end any change they make will have to be on their terms. My advice to you would be to encourage and support them. When they do decide to change maybe you will be the person they look to for help.

00Angela00

Your just rude. Help yourself and be a freaking example. Dont join the site just to come talk about how fat your family is. Who are you to judge? That kid is only 14 and 180. I was 14 and 250. He's probably jus ignorant like i was. Now get off your giant food throne and be an example and run a freaking mile...if you can that is :P

I don't think that you can force someone to change, they have to make that choice on their own. I also come from an obese family with lots of health problems which breaks my heart. On the other hand you mention above that ignorance is what played into you're own eating problems and I think that this is a HUGE factor in young and old people alike. When I began researching into how to be healthier I was amazed at portion control, calories, etc. I think it's natural to want to help people, I agree that it probably won't do a whole lot of good to join this website to try and help someone else, because they'll have to find their own motivation or it won't help much (I've seen too many people sneak food behind families backs and end up gaining weight when it's the family pushing them to lose the weight and not themselves) on the other hand, I do think that the message above was a little out of hand. Everyone deserves a good support team and your family is lucky to have someone who cares about them and wants to help them. I hope that all goes well for all parties involved. This is definately a tough and long road with an entire life style change. You have to reprogram your mind in ways that aren't at all easy to do.

Keltinator

Wow, I didn't think I'd get all these replies in such a short amount of time... and thank-you so much to everyone who posted. I'd just like to clarify that I didn't join this site to help my cousin (or my family). I joined the site to prevent myself from ending up in their shoes... I kind of regret posting that, because of course that would strike a wrong chord with some people. I'm sorry Markie. I'm really very sorry.

But, "Markie,"...why would I gossip about my family? I mean, your post was kind of rude. I can't help but take offence from it. I mean, really? "Dont join the site just to come talk about how fat your family is. Who are you to judge? That kid is only 14 and 180. I was 14 and 250. He's probably jus ignorant like i was. Now get off your giant food throne and be an example and run a freaking mile...if you can that is :P" What is a food throne? You know nothing about my family! That cousin is a girl, for example! You are jumping to conclusions, and the fact that you know nothing about my family also means I'm not gossiping about them... I love them, of course. And I can run a mile. I'm captain of my soccer team. You don't know me.

I know the last bit I said was childish but I can't blame myself; that's really what went through my head upon waking up this morning and reading your reply. I'm sorry, Markie, for posting something that obviously piqued your anger. Sorry.

And thank-you again, so much, to estherguas, FireRox21, and everyone else who replied positively. You really helped me out. I will just eat healthily and focus on myself for now, and hopefully my family will see my efforts.

BroiledNotFried

By making healthy choices yourself, you will be noticed by the others. You may find that you are in inspiration to those around you.

Last year, I started my "get healthy" journey. I was at the top of my healthy weight range, I wanted to be at the middle and not so soft in the middle. My daughters ballet teacher had lost 20 pounds, and she inspired me to join a gym.

I joined, and have been going 3 to 4 times a week for the past year. I am "fit", and I can do hard cardio for over an hour and lift more now that I ever could. My sister joined a gym, and my brother-in-law.

I did the South Beach diet, and got within 5 pounds of my goal weight. But, I just "fell off" the low carb wagon. I inspired the same sister and brother-in-law; and they both went on South Beach during the Summer. Together, they have both lost over 50 pounds. They look wonderful, and I am so proud. My other sister has been inspired too, and is watching what she eats.

But, over the past two months...I gained due to "not watching what I eat". I was once again, at the top of my healthy weight range, and the pants were no longer fitting. So, here I am again.

So, YOU just go on about your business in getting yourself healthy. Some of them will follow.