Dumped
Replies
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lean on your friends and realize that if he would do that to you he is not worth you. you deserve so much more.
stay strong. lean on us for support. we are here for you. 0 -
Reatil therapy.0
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Remember that time wounds all heals.
Will Rogers0 -
I was with a man for 12 years and then about 2 years ago found out he was cheating on me left right and sideways... I was devastated! But 2 years later...it was the BEST thing that could have happened to me! I met he most amazing guy! He's sweet and funny and I appreciate him more then words can say. Sometimes what seems like the worst thing, is really for the best and when you get through the tough part you'll be happier in the end. Stay focused on your goals, it will all work out! Good luck to you!0
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Sorry to hear that, it's a bad place to be in. My usual response to bad things happening is alcohol rather than food, but's it's as damaging to your diet.
Everyone has made really good suggestions - but I just wanted to say that if you do give in and get a tub of Ben and Jerry's save some for me... I mean don't beat yourself up about it, that'll make it worse. The next day, go for a long run or go to the gym, do something to mitigate the eating you've done. I think it's important to be prepared for that eventuality, but have a recovery plan!
I hope you get through the next couple of weeks okay, they'll be the hardest. I also think that what someone said about having a wardrobe clear out - I had to do that this weekend for totally different reasons, and it's really cathartic. You feel mentally lighter after, if not physically.0 -
Broke off my 7 year relationship (3 years engaged) last year. Best thing I did was keep a journal. Not a food one but an emotional one. Everything you want to say to that person, write it down, read previous days and then you will realize why it wouldnt have worked out anyway. All those things that for years your just chalked up to that person being well....that person you will see that they really were not things you liked. Go out dancing with the girls, (it's exercise), be good to you and buy that new pair or shoes or a new pair of jeans. Flirt and have fun. Date people, when you are ready, that you would normally never date. You might surprise yourself! Make sure you reflect and talk about what you are going through. If it wasnt for my work "husband"; I dont know what I would have done. Just talking about it helped. Feel free to add me if you want to chat!0
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Sorry that this happened to you! Men suck!! Ok...women suck sometimes, too, but in this case MEN SUCK! I am going to assume you are very proud of finishing your first 5k, so I would find another one and sign up. Make it a goal to beat your time. Maybe also sign up for a 10k in 4 months or a Half Marathon (if you are so inclined to keep going) in 6 months. I know, for me, having a training schedule that I MUST keep is good for me. I like my long days at the park to just clear my head and then it's harder to indulge in something bad when I know it would negate the good I just did. This way you have time to think and grieve about what happened in a healthy way and when you are done, you are a faster person! Good luck!0
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Voodoo.
Hang in there - they obviously don't deserve the fabulous you that you are becoming and someone better will come along. I would keep trying the working out thing - or even try something new. You've completed a 5K - way to go - now let's train for a half marathon or just try a new workout and keep yourself busy and unavailable or sign up for a class (music, painting, photograpy, anything you've always wanted to do?) Just keep busy and it will get easier with time.0 -
I'm sorry
It's really difficult, but it gets easier with time. I got dumped really for no good reason (or no good reason he was willing to share with me) so I was really angry. I channeled my anger into running. Every day. I lost a lot of weight and I became a dude magnet! haha. But until that initial pain passed, my mom told me that every time I picked up the phone to call him, call her instead. I took her up on this, and she received many 3am phone calls of me crying hysterically, but it really helped. Maybe your bff or a family member can do this for you?
And book your weekends for like 6 weeks straight. Call up old friends. Family, anybody. Make them hang out with you! After 6 weeks I was exhausted and ready to be alone, and I was fine. I found happiness again after a few months.
You will get through this and come out the other side being stronger and a better person in general. :flowerforyou:0 -
Listen to the song let yourself go.......go on a run go on a vacation, go on another 5k, go find a different new life, go try a new thing, go hiking
go fishing
go running
go scuba diving
go cave dwelling
go with friend on a cruise
go to a different county
LET YOUR SELF GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOVE this!!0 -
Join a kickboxing class Pretend the bag is him
that's always helped me, and besides, it is an amazing workout. 0 -
Girl, I know how you feel. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
What helps me is hitting the gym (honest!). I can't tell you how many negative emotions I've run off and beat out of punching bag. It really does make you feel better. Endorphins from exercise are just lovely.
Then go get your nails done or go shopping! Just pamper yourself for a day. You will get through this. Getting out of the wrong relationship just brings you closer to the right one!
Hang in there girl. :flowerforyou:0 -
Talk it out... keep a journal, write a blog, find a support group, go to a good dinner with supportive friends.
Work it out - run, walk, swim, SWEAT - every time you want to eat, find something else to do.
Take up a hobby - fill your hands with crafts, books, games, or art instead of food.
Feed your soul - yoga, sleep, therapy (if desired), and church if it's your thing.
Just some thoughts -I've had a rough year with my husband's health and these are some things I do. If you slip and binge, forgive yourself and move on to the next day.
These are all excellent ideas. I was also in a 4 year relationship...while leaving was my choice, it didn't make the pain any less. I can tell you that it does get better--that relationship is 8 years behind me and getting out of it was the right thing to do, so I have no regrets. Anyway, one of the things I did at the time was to start volunteering for several different charities, including an animal shelter and a dog rescue group. If you don't have pets of your own--animals give unconditional love and most shelters/organizations can really use the help.
It will get better!
Best wishes,
Ellen0 -
Be glad you don't have to waste time with someone whose not worth it! Move on and focus on you. If it's meant to be, it'll be meant to be. For a guy to do that when you're losing weight just shows what kind of support system he is and would be later on down the road. Keep up the good work and stay focused! Believe me, I lost my figure as soon as I started dating my husband.0
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I have to say I'm so proud that you made the decision not to have a love making session with Ben and Jerry. Their threesomes aren't worth it.
Now, go do something for yourself, hair, nails, massage, pedi, something and than get some friends together and laugh!0 -
I agree with the idea to keep yourself as busy as you can stand. Check out your local adult ed courses (this one might even help you meet new friends which is always good), join a new exercise class you always wanted to try, go see that movie he didn't care to see, go shopping, hang out with your girlfriends... I even like the idea of finding a 2nd job - not only does it fill your time but you can make some extra bucks to stash away for the new clothes you're going to need and/or a trip you can take with some friends.
And if you're just at home and feel that temptation to eat because your bored and lonely and sad - stop yourself and go for a walk or take a bath or do your nails or scrapbook or pick up that good book you've been meaning to finish or call a friend or whatever it takes to get your mind of it.
Good luck to you!0 -
Do something special for yourself that doesn't include food. Hair cut, mani/pedi, do something that you really enjoy, call a friend and go out and walk the mall. It won't take away the hurt and rejection but with time and friends you can get thru it. Friend me if you'd like!0
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think about how awesome you are and make a list of everything you love about yourself. celebrate that list. celebrate your accomplishments and enlist friends and loved ones to help you celebrate what you are proud of.
never for a moment doubt yourself. he may not see what is awesome about you, but there are plenty others in your life who do. focus on that. he left your life so you could make room for someone who will love and celebrate your awesome along with you.
and go for a long, sweaty run; (and/or) lift some heavy weights! lifting heavy always makes me feel powerful and in control. it might help with your feelings right now.
and also, this
http://img.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/when-Im-sad-I-stop-being-sad-and-be-awesome-instead.jpg0 -
I'm soo sorry :sad: There has been some great advice on here like getting a hair cut ( I don't know why but that always seems to make me feel better) Realizing that this too will pass. One other thing I always say to myself may sound juvenile but it really helps
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming"0 -
Looks like you are a runner. RUN him down on the treadmill. Get some mad tunes and run till you are laughing. That may take weeks..... but think about it, the more you run the more you can afford a ben and jerry night. (I still have them in my life, I just pre-earn them.)
Sorry for your hurt. But you are worth more than being with someone that doesn't appreciate you.
Keep running, and you will bump into something better.0 -
I'm sorry. I know that the only thing that will make the pain go away is time.
I agree that some pampering is in order. Haircut, mani/pedi, massage, some new clothes or perfume...whatever will remind you that you are beautiful (YOU ARE!)
And maybe next time you go workout, look around and notice the other guys out there who are noticing you. Not to jump back into any sort of relationship so soon, but just to remind yourself that there is a big world of possibilities out there.0 -
I'm sorry Hugs!
Maybe take a class or a start doing things with a new hobby you are interested with your free time now... You will have fun, it will take your mind off of it, and you might meet some awesome people!0 -
THEIR LOSS!
You're fabulous, and deserve better. :flowerforyou:0 -
Because looking good is the BEST revenge! :-)0
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He dumped you!! is he madd you are beautiful l better off without him stick to your goals his loss Mikee xx 0
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my experience is that some men - HA! MANY men - can not deal with a woman's success. my marriage started to deteriorate after 10 years because I had worked my way to the skinniest I had ever been in my adult life (AND had run my first 5k!!!). we didn't make it, because he refused to accept any responsibility for himself. now i'm back here to work off (PERMAMENTLY) everything i gained after that happened.
TOTALLY keep your chin up, know how much better you feel in your new you! my advice is to go with some calories for red wine and get a pedicure. 0 -
Holy Crap! I went into a meeting and when I came out this post had gone nutso!
I have read each and every response and I honestly wish I could take you all out and buy you a drink. Or some work out gear. Or some hummus. Or something. Jeez! You guys totally rock!
There is no way I will ever be able to thank you enough! I am honestly floored by the support here. I think I just might love you all.
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I love all the suggestions, I just want to add my little one, think of it as him setting you "FREE" Many men are threatened by our success (even my hubby does little things to sabotage my success, I know he doesn't mean to, but I have to be watchful!)
You are now FREE to be YOU and continue on your journey to success and happiness. I am sorry this is so painful, been there, done that.....and the only way is to go Through it. We all care and believe in YOU! {{ Hugs}}0 -
I feel you! All these people here with their wonderful advice. All I can tell you is what not to do...I was really successful with mfp and exercise durring the beginning of the year. I was down 30 lbs in 3 months when my husband left me for another woman and within the last 5 months I've put almost all of it back on. I really tried at first to stay on track but his continual extravagant lies beat me into a pulp and left me unable to function. So here I am back at the beginning of the struggle wishing I hadn't done the back slide. Don't do it! You've come so far already!
Wishing you all the best in your journey!0 -
I'm sorry you have to go thru this. Several years ago I went through a bad divorce. I put Christina Aguilera
song "Fighter" as my ringtone on my phone. I listened to it whenever I started feeling sad.
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Wishing you the best.... 0
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