Is this normal now?!?!
Replies
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There is so much leniency here...oh my gosh. Don't listen to them! You are worth a guy with a job, a car, and the general impression of kinda-sorta having his **** together, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about that!0
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Well from teh sounds of things you need to 1) move 2) change your profile or 3) accept what you can find with your requirements/area.
Ha. I was just about to say that. Sounds like the OP lives in an area that breeds these fine examples of men. I think moving sounds like the best course of action here.0 -
Anyone else out there still in the dating world? How about online dating?
Probably 80% of the guys I meet/chat with either.
1. Don't have a job
2. Don't have, or can't drive a car
3. Still live at home with their parents
or a combination thereof...
Most of the guys I'm dating are early 30s... I'm not going after 22 year olds fresh out of college here. Plus I live in the midwest... cost of living is really not terrible... The average 1bdrm apt costs about $400/mo.
I'm not saying that you need to be C.E.O of a major corporation here... and I'm really not trying to be hard on those people who really did recently get laid off and are a little hard on their luck... but come on, am I being unreasonable to expect them to be able to function on their own as a normal adult at this point in their lives?
Has anyone else noticed this to be the rule rather than the exception lately? or is it just guys in my area?
Meh, I've...
1) Got a good job
2) Have a nice new car
3) Lived on my own since I was 21 and have owned my own home since I was 22
and I can't buy a date.0 -
I think the REALLY interesting part is that it seems so many more men than women are in that group. Why is it that young women seem more interested in being independent than men of their same age? -- Fascinating.
Oh, and my girlfriends who are in their 30's and dating have definitely seen this trend, to answer your question. For my generation (I'm 49), there was still a responsibility gap back in the day -- men seemed more prone to under-employment, driving beater cars and living in crap apartments with 47 roommates than women were -- but we all had some sort of job and none of us were living with our parents for more than a couple of months as a stop-gap in a dire emergency. Still, the women I knew then were financially more stable at a younger age than their male counterparts. Seems that much hasn't changed.
Be careful not to stereotype by gender - what applies to one not necessarily to another. In my group of friends acquaintences it is quite the opposite.0 -
Maybe try getting away from online dating sites, and join forums YOU enjoy (a hobby) or play an online game. I met my boyfriend of 2yrs + on an online game we both enjoyed, not an online dating site.
He's getting his phd and we just bought a flat. Pretty much the opposite of dating site material
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I don't think folks are losers for falling on hard times but honestly I wouldn't date them either.0
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Anyone else out there still in the dating world? How about online dating?
Probably 80% of the guys I meet/chat with either.
1. Don't have a job
2. Don't have, or can't drive a car
3. Still live at home with their parents
or a combination thereof...
Most of the guys I'm dating are early 30s... I'm not going after 22 year olds fresh out of college here. Plus I live in the midwest... cost of living is really not terrible... The average 1bdrm apt costs about $400/mo.
I'm not saying that you need to be C.E.O of a major corporation here... and I'm really not trying to be hard on those people who really did recently get laid off and are a little hard on their luck... but come on, am I being unreasonable to expect them to be able to function on their own as a normal adult at this point in their lives?
Has anyone else noticed this to be the rule rather than the exception lately? or is it just guys in my area?
HA! sorry to laugh. Not at you but this is/has been my experience too. So sad. Very jealous of the rents out there. Good luck.0 -
Anyone else out there still in the dating world? How about online dating?
Probably 80% of the guys I meet/chat with either.
1. Don't have a job
2. Don't have, or can't drive a car
3. Still live at home with their parents
or a combination thereof...
Most of the guys I'm dating are early 30s... I'm not going after 22 year olds fresh out of college here. Plus I live in the midwest... cost of living is really not terrible... The average 1bdrm apt costs about $400/mo.
I'm not saying that you need to be C.E.O of a major corporation here... and I'm really not trying to be hard on those people who really did recently get laid off and are a little hard on their luck... but come on, am I being unreasonable to expect them to be able to function on their own as a normal adult at this point in their lives?
Has anyone else noticed this to be the rule rather than the exception lately? or is it just guys in my area?
Oh and you are perfect, no issues what so ever? You aren't up to your eyeballs in debt over handbag shopping and make overs? No illegitimate children, drug or alcohol addictions, chronic partying or perhaps you sleep around?
You just generalized a vast portion of the world population based on your experience in Hicks-ville. Maybe you meet "losers" because they are all you deserve at this point until you grow up and stop being so judgemental on others. Examine yourself completely before you start to judge others. See how easy it is, I just did it to the entire female population like you did on men0 -
who cares if they drive a car????
Bike commuter in the house!0 -
Anyone else out there still in the dating world? How about online dating?
Probably 80% of the guys I meet/chat with either.
1. Don't have a job
2. Don't have, or can't drive a car
3. Still live at home with their parents
or a combination thereof...
Most of the guys I'm dating are early 30s... I'm not going after 22 year olds fresh out of college here. Plus I live in the midwest... cost of living is really not terrible... The average 1bdrm apt costs about $400/mo.
I'm not saying that you need to be C.E.O of a major corporation here... and I'm really not trying to be hard on those people who really did recently get laid off and are a little hard on their luck... but come on, am I being unreasonable to expect them to be able to function on their own as a normal adult at this point in their lives?
Has anyone else noticed this to be the rule rather than the exception lately? or is it just guys in my area?
Oh and you are perfect, no issues what so ever? You aren't up to your eyeballs in debt over handbag shopping and make overs? No illegitimate children, drug or alcohol addictions, chronic partying or perhaps you sleep around?
You just generalized a vast portion of the world population based on your experience in Hicks-ville. Maybe you meet "losers" because they are all you deserve at this point until you grow up and stop being so judgemental on others. Examine yourself completely before you start to judge others. See how easy it is, I just did it to the entire female population like you did on men
Someone pee in your coffee this morning...?0 -
first off.. I think I agree with everything digitalbill has just said here.
Harsh but true.. if you're a real man, you get off your *kitten* and get **** done.
I personally will NEVER be working at McDonalds.. but thats only because I went through the effort to learn how to do something useful with myself... and not just one thing.. I write software right now (because I like doing it) but If every computer disappeared, I would be fixing cars, fixing motorcycles, fixing lawnmowers.. anything with an engine... (because I like doing that too) or selling somehing electronics/cars/RVs who cares? Or I would be at a farm shoveling horse ****.. doesnt matter, I will be working and making my own way.. regardless of the hardships caused by it.
And most likely.. I wouldnt be online dating while im working to get a new software/office job that pays what I make now....0 -
who cares if they drive a car????
Bike commuter in the house!
7+ years of Motorcycle only commuter here... sure it makes things awkward sometimes.. but it was by choice.0 -
Anyone else out there still in the dating world? How about online dating?
Probably 80% of the guys I meet/chat with either.
1. Don't have a job
2. Don't have, or can't drive a car
3. Still live at home with their parents
or a combination thereof...
Most of the guys I'm dating are early 30s... I'm not going after 22 year olds fresh out of college here. Plus I live in the midwest... cost of living is really not terrible... The average 1bdrm apt costs about $400/mo.
I'm not saying that you need to be C.E.O of a major corporation here... and I'm really not trying to be hard on those people who really did recently get laid off and are a little hard on their luck... but come on, am I being unreasonable to expect them to be able to function on their own as a normal adult at this point in their lives?
Has anyone else noticed this to be the rule rather than the exception lately? or is it just guys in my area?
Oh and you are perfect, no issues what so ever? You aren't up to your eyeballs in debt over handbag shopping and make overs? No illegitimate children, drug or alcohol addictions, chronic partying or perhaps you sleep around?
You just generalized a vast portion of the world population based on your experience in Hicks-ville. Maybe you meet "losers" because they are all you deserve at this point until you grow up and stop being so judgemental on others. Examine yourself completely before you start to judge others. See how easy it is, I just did it to the entire female population like you did on men
Someone pee in your coffee this morning...?
And to answer your question... I'm completely debt free, no children, no drugs and I don't sleep around... I don't expect people to not have any debt or even to not have kids at this point in their lives... just to eventually start acting like adults... but apparently that is too much to ask.0 -
My experience of online dating, and many others I've heard of haven't been great!
I've only ever met complete weirdos on dating sites.0 -
You just generalized a vast portion of the world population based on your experience in Hicks-ville.
^^ Talk about generalizing - what is this? Seriously why so uppity dude - I have lived in "hicksville" all my life but am probably less of a "Hick" than anyone. Stop being so smug...0 -
And to answer your question... I'm completely debt free...
You own a house free an clear? Maybe I should move to hicks-ville. Here in California I am working my *kitten* off to be debt free.0 -
Oh and you are perfect, no issues what so ever? You aren't up to your eyeballs in debt over handbag shopping and make overs? No illegitimate children, drug or alcohol addictions, chronic partying or perhaps you sleep around?
You just generalized a vast portion of the world population based on your experience in Hicks-ville. Maybe you meet "losers" because they are all you deserve at this point until you grow up and stop being so judgemental on others. Examine yourself completely before you start to judge others. See how easy it is, I just did it to the entire female population like you did on men
I will break this up:
I am a perfect me. I dont have any physical, mental, social or economic issues. Considering my life so far, I probably SHOULD, but I work when needed. Need money? Work. Need social life? Go out and meet people. etc...Oh and you are perfect, no issues what so ever?
No. I live within my means.You aren't up to your eyeballs in debt over handbag shopping and make overs?No illegitimate children, drug or alcohol addictions, chronic partying or perhaps you sleep around?
Nope. Hell no on the kids. Say NO to drugs, dont drink to access, dont party when I shoudlnt, and I dont sleep around.
(although I like to think I could do all those things if I wanted to)You just generalized a vast portion of the world population based on your experience in Hicks-ville. Maybe you meet "losers" because they are all you deserve at this point until you grow up and stop being so judgemental on others. Examine yourself completely before you start to judge others. See how easy it is, I just did it to the entire female population like you did on men
No. She has every right to see people as the losers they are and chose not to date them.
You didnt "do it to the entire female population like you did on men"... She only did it to the losers. Not MEN like bill, me, or anyone who isnt a loser.
Sorry if her post applied to you... im sure you have your reasons.0 -
And to answer your question... I'm completely debt free...
You own a house free an clear? Maybe I should move to hicks-ville. Here in California I am working my *kitten* off to be debt free.
Well I rent, I don't own a house. Otherwise I'd be in debt for that,0 -
And to answer your question... I'm completely debt free...
You own a house free an clear? Maybe I should move to hicks-ville. Here in California I am working my *kitten* off to be debt free.
If you buy a house for LESS then its worth, rather then what everyone says its worth, you can still be making payments to a loan, but not be in debt as the value of the house is worth more then what you owe.
That said... Im debt free, but I do rent. lol.0 -
And to answer your question... I'm completely debt free...
You own a house free an clear? Maybe I should move to hicks-ville. Here in California I am working my *kitten* off to be debt free.
Seriously. I'm 22 years old and still living at home because the price to live on your own here in the SF Bay Area is just ridiculous. I have a full-time job, I'm technically doing a full-time student workload (online classes), and I have a car. I'm in debt for my culinary school loan and now I'm going to school for a degree in business. Add bills on top of that and it'd be stupid of me to try to scrape by instead of racking up money in a savings account like I'm currently doing.0 -
And to answer your question... I'm completely debt free...
You own a house free an clear? Maybe I should move to hicks-ville. Here in California I am working my *kitten* off to be debt free.
Seriously. I'm 22 years old and still living at home because the price to live on your own here in the SF Bay Area is just ridiculous. I have a full-time job, I'm technically doing a full-time student workload (online classes), and I have a car. I'm in debt for my culinary school loan and now I'm going to school for a degree in business. Add bills on top of that and it'd be stupid of me to try to scrape by instead of racking up money in a savings account like I'm currently doing.
and you sound like you're far from the loser described in the first post.0 -
Well I rent, I don't own a house. Otherwise I'd be in debt for that,
haha...that is not really debt free. Renting really gets you nowhere. Basically you buy a house today, you are in debt for 30 years but after 30 years your house is paid off. You retire and live in your house for free. You rent for 30 years you own nothing. Retire and become homeless in your 60's because you can't afford rent any more because you are retired and don't make enough.0 -
I stole this from somewhere else on here:Yes. I will judge you by your weight and level of fitness. I need to know that someone I am considering partnering myself with, has a healthy sense of personal responsibility, pride, strength and coping skills. I don't want someone who binges when they have feelings they can't process. I don't want someone that isn't active every single day. I don't want someone that doesn't understand that laziness lack of willpower and bad nutrition affect both halves of a partnership. I don't want someone grossly out of shape, I work hard hard hard on my body and I deserve the same. Yeah, I deserve it. An equal I look up to in everything important to me. That wont take my sht when im putting out excuses left and right, or when I stop teaching for new goals.
No, I wouldn't like you at any weight, and you wouldn't have liked me before I changed as well.. taking control of your life and health changes your personality and I have no desire for someone who's personality is not there yet.
Ill be your friend, but I wont be your other half. Halves are equals.
This applies to more then just weight. It applies to every other aspect of your life, and the other person.0 -
Well I rent, I don't own a house. Otherwise I'd be in debt for that,
haha...that is not really debt free. Renting really gets you nowhere. Basically you buy a house today, you are in debt for 30 years but after 30 years your house is paid off. You retire and live in your house for free. You rent for 30 years you own nothing. Retire and become homeless in your 60's because you can't afford rent any more because you are retired and don't make enough.
While I agree that you're not accruing wealth, and are basically hemorrhaging money.. its still technically not debt... its just not forward progress either.0 -
I agree and these men are all desperate :explode:0
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Hey! I lived with my parents for a while after college because I lived in the shadow of the Empire State Building and the Northeast is expensive. Cost of living, paying off debt, getting settled, and in turn helping my parents pay bills because their economic situation had changed... how are any of these things bad?
What I will say is this, if you can recognize a deadbeat... good on ya! I don't believe it's the norm though because I meet plenty of lovely, driven, ambitious men in whom I recognize a little bit of myself. So maybe you should look for that little bit of yourself in the men you meet, and you'll start meeting the kinds of men you'd like to meet.0 -
I'm handsome, I have a car, a house, I'm self sufficient, and have a steady income but haven't gotten any date offers. Could be I am only looking online right now and I have the unfortunate problem of being 43. I'd date you in a heartbeat. If these guys are in thier mid 30s they should have at least made some progress toward those goals. I agree that each persons situation is different but come on...0
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And to answer your question... I'm completely debt free...
You own a house free an clear? Maybe I should move to hicks-ville. Here in California I am working my *kitten* off to be debt free.
Living is super cheap out here - I own a townhome (have a mortgage) but the total cost was $101,000 brand new. 2BR 2Ba 2 Car Garage, Stainless steel, wood and ceramic flooring, etc. and quality construction. I am thinking something similar in Cali would probably be closer to the 300k range, but my income would certainly not triple out there. This is why lots of people from the coasts are starting to Migrate to "fly-over" country.0 -
Anyone else out there still in the dating world? How about online dating?
Probably 80% of the guys I meet/chat with either.
1. Don't have a job
2. Don't have, or can't drive a car
3. Still live at home with their parents
or a combination thereof...
Most of the guys I'm dating are early 30s... I'm not going after 22 year olds fresh out of college here. Plus I live in the midwest... cost of living is really not terrible... The average 1bdrm apt costs about $400/mo.
I'm not saying that you need to be C.E.O of a major corporation here... and I'm really not trying to be hard on those people who really did recently get laid off and are a little hard on their luck... but come on, am I being unreasonable to expect them to be able to function on their own as a normal adult at this point in their lives?
Has anyone else noticed this to be the rule rather than the exception lately? or is it just guys in my area?
Boyfriend 1 met in Yahoo Chat he was an abusive stalking paedophile
Boyfriend 2 (plenty of fish): he was rude and obnoxious and dumped me the day of my birthday 2 days after my nana had passed away with no warning he just 'didn't love me and hadnt for a long time'
Boyfriend 3(plenty of fish) I though he was a keeper, 1 year together things were prefect I took him on holiday for his birthday found out the day I got back he had feelings for someone else and in the end dumped me to *kitten* her the ugly spastic tramp
SOOO.... online dating is not for me, men aren't for me..... I suppose it works for some people I date online because men are shallow and they don't care how nice I am I'm fat so they aren't interested. My general view is though people date online for a reason and that reason is there's something wrong with them (including me)0 -
Yes. I will judge you by your weight and level of fitness. I need to know that someone I am considering partnering myself with, has a healthy sense of personal responsibility, pride, strength and coping skills. I don't want someone who binges when they have feelings they can't process. I don't want someone that isn't active every single day. I don't want someone that doesn't understand that laziness lack of willpower and bad nutrition affect both halves of a partnership. I don't want someone grossly out of shape, I work hard hard hard on my body and I deserve the same. Yeah, I deserve it. An equal I look up to in everything important to me. That wont take my sht when im putting out excuses left and right, or when I stop teaching for new goals.
Ill be your friend, but I wont be your other half. Halves are equals.
Whoever they are they deserve a slap in the face with a double decker bus!!0
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