How to be a Man or Woman in America

penrbrown

OP, for clarification, are you asking if this is the gender stereotyping that goes on in America and is this what is expected of these respective genders?

AdriAfterAll

Yes'm, basically. That was the question posed originally in the research.

I'm asking if you'd agree with the answers given by those polled. There was not a lot of detail given in the TEDtalk about WHO was polled. I definitely have felt the expectation to be all of those things, and wondered what MFPers would say...

Anomalia

Just re-watched the Brene Brown TED talks on youtube, and was thinking about this bit. Researchers at Boston College asked the question below and got these answers.

What do women have to do or be to conform to female norms (in America)?

nice
thin
modest
use all avalable resources for appearance
"have it all, do it all, be it all- and never let 'em see you sweat"

What do men have to do or be to conform to male norms (in America)?

emotional control
work is first
pursue status
violence
"Never be perceived as weak."

As a woman, I know I feel the pressure of the Perfection beast like whoa, but do you all agree? That's who we have to be and how we're expected to organize our priorities?

I am a grown *kitten* man with a beard, I don't need some researcher to tell me how I should act or should be. I believe in the law of return...what you give is what comes back to you.

Me gusta.

Anomalia

No, I don't agree with the researchers findings.

_the_feniks_

Control emotions
Family is always first
*kitten* and your status
Violence only when words fail... and then be the last one standing
Never be perceived as stooopit

JIGGLYbellyPUFF

Not going to lie, I try hard to make it look like my life is easy. Seems like it fits with those expectations I guess.

penrbrown

Yes'm, basically. That was the question posed originally in the research.

I'm asking if you'd agree with the answers given by those polled. There was not a lot of detail given in the TEDtalk about WHO was polled. I definitely have felt the expectation to be all of those things, and wondered what MFPers would say...

Cool. I just wanted to clarify. That's what I got from your post but from some of the answers here it seemed like people were getting something else from it.

I'm not American. Growing up there WERE expectations placed on me though and they are as follows:

As a woman I was expected to:

Get married young
Date any man who asked me out (If I said no I was being a '*****')
Marry any man who asks
Be independent but NOT assertive (go figure)

As WELL as the things you listed.

LadyIvysMom

Just re-watched the Brene Brown TED talks on youtube, and was thinking about this bit. Researchers at Boston College asked the question below and got these answers.

What do women have to do or be to conform to female norms (in America)?

nice
thin
modest
use all avalable resources for appearance
"have it all, do it all, be it all- and never let 'em see you sweat"

What do men have to do or be to conform to male norms (in America)?

emotional control
work is first
pursue status
violence
"Never be perceived as weak."

As a woman, I know I feel the pressure of the Perfection beast like whoa, but do you all agree? That's who we have to be and how we're expected to organize our priorities?

Edit for clarity: The researchers weren't telling us what we're supposed to be, they only spit out what all the people polled said. It's what WE (Americans) feel/believe/said the expectations are...

Link to the talk: http://youtu.be/psN1DORYYV0
It's about a lot. This was just a piece...

Personally, as a woman I want to be smart, thin, smart, fit, smart, strong, smart, and I like being natural. No make up. No $$$$$ clothes.

None of those male qualities are attractive to me at all. I can’t stand men who are over emotional.

LadyIvysMom

Being a lady as opposed to some saucy wench.

Speaking as possibly the sauciest wench you know, this made me lol :P