whats wrong with me???

irishskinnymission

everytime i do it....
i make a plan to loose weight cause i hate who i see looking back at me....and then i sabotage myself and go over my already very generous calorie allowence....dont understand it, cause i desperately want to be healthy and slim.....ugh....i need a slap

jillmarie125

I can totally relate to how you are feeling. Talking about eating healthy is obviously so much easier than doing it. i was the queen of saying, "on Monday I will eat clean and work out." For me, what worked best was making small changes everyday. Plan your meals and snacks out for the day. Sticking to it will be hard at first. But after a week (if that) it will be so much easier. And everytime you want to eat something that is not planned, just tell yourself, I dont want to feel this way tomorrow. I promise you, you will be so proud of yourself for sticking to you plan that it will make Day 2 so much easier. Starting out is the hardest part. I always remind myself that I want to be better tomorrow than I am today. Thats not just with my eating either, thats with my workouts, my job, my family. I always want to be better. It will get easier. Good Luck!!!

LordBear

dieting? in itself is kind of a joke. if you want to make a change in your life. specially one this big.. you have to take in account that this needs to be a life long change. but not a life ender. its not easy but u have to set it in your mind that this is what you are going to do and then push through it.. having some sort of a plan helps... your not dieting just making better choices and still eating what you want within reason, you have to stop seeing exercise as a chore. find something you enjoying doing. i go to the gym, i swim, i do tae kwon do and thanks to a cortazone shot i am now walking again.

you have to push through the bull$@#@$ and excuses and decide this is what you want to do with your life and that you want more and better things. and some does you will have to force yourself. you have bad habbits that need corrected. and if you do this you will be rewarded.. not just with better health. but after a while things becomes easyer and you find your self wanting to do something instead of just doing it because you have too..your body will be trained to the new ways and crave it. your food intake will be way less and you wont care because you cldnt eat any more any how. and only way to eat more would be to forcefully and painfully push the food down your throat.

if you want it... just cut the bull and do it..simple as that... but not easy

Kedi2

I have the same problem. I start out doing good but before the day is over and I have worked a stressful job it's over. I need something new and exciting it seems or maybe a kick in the butt. lol

diannethegeek

Nothing is wrong with you.

Self-sabotage is a time-honored tradition that many of us have to deal with. Usually, there's some other issue out there that keeps you from losing the weight (for me, I was using the weight as a shield from attention). Weight is such an emotional thing for many of us that sometimes all the willpower and logic in the world aren't enough to trump that emotional binge. Generally, if you can figure out what you're feeling when you're eating it will help give you an advantage the next time you're losing control. Pay attention to your body.

And I don't think the reasons we self-sabotage are bull****, as others have suggested. They may not be logical, but they're still valid.

MrsCeja

It's easy to fall off course, trust me.. Try getting healthy snacks to satisfy that urge to want to eat something. throw out all your junk food and fill your fridge with fruits and veggies, measure all each serving of food to help you keep track of your calorie intake, it also helps to put everyone in your family on a diet also you might want to try getting appetite suppressors maybe take a trip to GNC and see what they have to offer to help you reach your goals. working out will definitely help speed up the process to lose weight rather than dieting alone. Good Luck! :happy:

BABetter1

You didn't say anything about exercise. When I first started here, I often found myself going over my calories. Once I figured out how many exercise calories I could add just by getting a Fitbit and walking more and taking the stairs every chance I got, I got a heck of a lot more active and enjoyed eating more calories on a daily basis. Eating more calories, "legally", made it easier to stay within my daily goal. Now, I'm addicted to working out.

Just hang in there. Even when you have a bad calorie day, don't give up. Start over again the next day, and do it again and again every time you mess up. Eventually, it does get easier.

o2bADyer

Start out with baby steps...small changes. Nothing is wrong with you! You CAN do this...but it takes time. :flowerforyou:

vmekash

I agree with "small changes." A little at a time. AND slow and steady has a better chance of being permanent.
In my yo-yo dieting and on/off exercising, I have found that I get all gung ho, making huge calorie changes, cutting out foods/junk I really enjoy, exercise every day to the point where my arms and legs feel like jello. That lasts for about three or four days, and I just burn out. And head right for the ice cream.

Now, having decided I want permanent results, I simply ball-park my NET calories at 1200, give or take 90 or so, and eat whatever I want, while trying to make healthy food choices about 60 or 70 percent of the time. I do not exercise (on purpose) on weekends -- though might play some tennis, but I never plan such exercise for weekends. On purpose, however, I do 45 min. of cardio (elliptical for now) on M, W, F, and strength train (Total Gym) on Tu and Th.

Losing now, at a rate of about 1 - 1.5 lbs. per week, the entire routine is becoming easier.

Hope this helps.
v.

irishskinnymission

thanks peeps...i totally get using my weight as a shield...also i fear failure but am oh so familiar with it! ive also had such a strssful few months, but hopefully a lot of stuff will be cleared up soon.
as for exercise, all i do is walk my dog daily, ive some back problems so sometimes even getting out of bed is a major hurdle for me (not good when i am a student nurse lol)...
also its my mums wedding in 10 months and ideally i need to loose 6 stone to look slim in my bridesmaid dress, but it seems so much and daunting and also i dont think its achievable, obviously its oh so easy to put on, not so easy to get off, and slim or not i hate the thoughts of the foto's and people looking at me. ......
i will get there eventually!!!!! lol

wuoreb

It's really easy to make one poor choice and then think well I'm screwed now, might as well have another cupcake. For me I tell myself even if I make poor food choices, I'll log them and start fresh tomorrow. I may not always succeed in meeting my calorie goals for the day but by keeping going I'll succeed in the long run.

For me my main motivation was also a bridesmaid dress for my sister's wedding - the rush I got from bringing that dress in to be tailored after loosing 24 lbs was amazing. Now I want to keep going because I realized that I can do it.

MissNations

Seriously, small changes, one at a time, are the way to go. Cut down on some bad stuff. Add something good in. Repeat.

You CAN do this. :drinker:

Losing2Live69

If you are like me you have a food addiction. I have to treat it like a drug addiction. Have you tried OA? Using the 12 steps to approach any addiction is very helpful. It dissects your addiction and gets to the nuts and bolts of it, making you aware of many underlying issues. I hope this helps.

CarlaSaylor

Sounds like there are a lot of good ideas here. I also have started letting myself let go of the guilt from the meal before or the day before, and start fresh immediately. Every day is a new beginning forget about the past, get up and try again - and mean it this time.

KristysLosing

It's really easy to make one poor choice and then think well I'm screwed now, might as well have another cupcake.

This is me! I don't know why, but I do it!

I find it easier to just look at today. Try not to worry about what happened yesterday, and don't think too much about tomorrow. It's get overwhelming to think about how far I have to go yet. So just today. Nothing else. Good luck!

BrownEyedGrrl

everytime i do it....
i make a plan to loose weight cause i hate who i see looking back at me....and then i sabotage myself and go over my already very generous calorie allowence....dont understand it, cause i desperately want to be healthy and slim.....ugh....i need a slap

I know it's hard when we're overweight, but try not to hate what you see when you look in the mirror. I see a very pretty lady with a beautiful smile in your profile pic. Learn to love yourself, or at least parts of yourself and you may find it easier to live healthier. I know it has helped me to focus on the positive parts of me (both inside and out).
Definitely focus on making small permanent changes as has been mentioned in above posts and you will start to see success. Being able to identify emotional eating and finding ways to stop this habit will definitely help too (I'm still working on this and it is a day to day struggle.) Don't get discouraged. You can do this one step at a time!

rexzmumu

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nicholettebell

dieting? in itself is kind of a joke. if you want to make a change in your life. specially one this big.. you have to take in account that this needs to be a life long change. but not a life ender. its not easy but u have to set it in your mind that this is what you are going to do and then push through it.. having some sort of a plan helps... your not dieting just making better choices and still eating what you want within reason, you have to stop seeing exercise as a chore. find something you enjoying doing. i go to the gym, i swim, i do tae kwon do and thanks to a cortazone shot i am now walking again.

you have to push through the bull$@#@$ and excuses and decide this is what you want to do with your life and that you want more and better things. and some does you will have to force yourself. you have bad habbits that need corrected. and if you do this you will be rewarded.. not just with better health. but after a while things becomes easyer and you find your self wanting to do something instead of just doing it because you have too..your body will be trained to the new ways and crave it. your food intake will be way less and you wont care because you cldnt eat any more any how. and only way to eat more would be to forcefully and painfully push the food down your throat.

if you want it... just cut the bull and do it..simple as that... but not easy

This. The very last sentence. You have to REALLY, REALLY want it.

D3vAnge1

Physical abuse...Nahh. Just reconsider what ur trying to do, rather how ur trying to get to ur goal.

Focus on consistency. Get in the habit of logging every bit of everything that u consume (measuring it all). Then make adjustments like minimizing your high calorie beverages and replacing them with water &/or sugar free drinks and so forth.
Look at things in parts as apart from whole; makes life a lot less intimidating & easier to conquer. Where ur not exercising, make it a point to do a few jumping jacks while listening to a song or during commercial breaks, or while your tea water is boiling (c were I'm going). Eating meats with just about every meal, consider working in a couple of Vegan days. Noticing a trend of "overeating"...not limiting ur portion sizes, make it a habit to leave a couple or so bites of everything on your plate (specifically the more fattening foods) behind. Eating some form of pasta, bread, or rice daily? Try limiting the frequency of such foods (to 2-3 times a wk vs everyday). B4 U know it, U'd have made some major changes without even realizing it.

Hayleighs_mom

nothing is wrong with you. I do the exact same thing. It's a lifestyle change and it is certainly not easy. I HATE the person in the mirror and I have a wedding in April. I only have 3-4 months to loose this weight. Unfortunately I've fooled around for too long and I know that I will be unable to loose all the weight that I want but I'm finally okay with that. I'm going to try my hardest and see where it gets me. Just take it a day at a time

themommie

planning is the key, plan ahead what you are going to eat even snacks plan them out and dont say you cant have something, you can eat anything you want as long as it fits into your calorie count. If you know you cant eat just 1 cookie then only buy the 100 cal bags. I cant seem to have just a small serving of ice cream so I dont buy the containers anymore I only buy ice cream bars. Dont look at the big picture it can be overwhelming just concentrate on 1/2 a stone at a time for every 1/2 a stone you loose reward yourself. I just looked at 10 lbs at a time and for every 10 lbs I bought myself a pair of earrings I hope this helps. You can do it

Cinnamon0603

This is probably going to go against what most will tell you, but this is what I found for myself. I too have been one that sabotages myself when it comes to weight loss. Hell with anything for that matter. What had to happen for me is that I had to work on my insides first. I had to take a very hard long look at what I truly in my heart of hearts believed about myself and who I was. It was a painful look, because what I saw wasn't pretty. Whether those closely held beliefs were based in fact or not was not the issue. The issue was that I truly believed those things about myself. The biggest thing that I saw was that I honestly believed that I was not worthy of success in any area of my life. Once I was able to see that and find the courage to start changing those core beliefs; I found that it has been much easier to let my outsides reflect my new found beliefs in myself. The weight loss for me is truly an outward expression of an inward change.

Work on your insides, and the outside will follow!!!

fitwithin

Great advice here. Thanks. I am good during the week, but the weekends, I tend to splurge a little, but get right back on it on Monday. You can do it. Don't be so hard on yourself. You have a great support group here.

FierceFox81

Nothing is wrong with you.

Self-sabotage is a time-honored tradition that many of us have to deal with. Usually, there's some other issue out there that keeps you from losing the weight (for me, I was using the weight as a shield from attention). Weight is such an emotional thing for many of us that sometimes all the willpower and logic in the world aren't enough to trump that emotional binge. Generally, if you can figure out what you're feeling when you're eating it will help give you an advantage the next time you're losing control. Pay attention to your body.

And I don't think the reasons we self-sabotage are bull****, as others have suggested. They may not be logical, but they're still valid.

I agree! Nothing is wrong with you

Best of luck. You have all the tools and support you need right here. Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself.

arl999

I think it is about small first steps and interim goals - the first 5lbs, the first 10 etc.

I have the fitbit and find it really motivational. I now choose to walk up a flight of stairs or get off a stop early and walk just to get my counter up.

I have also found that as I lose I feel much better and get lots of small NSVs every day. So today I was out to lunch with a colleague in a really nice restaurant which served chocolate truffles and jellies at the end of the meal and I did not eat any and still feel good for this. Equally I could have eaten them and just logged it and made compensations elsewhere. But I did not feel that I needed them. On Monday I walked over 1.5 miles at the end of a meeting on the way home and then caught transport and a couple of months ago I really would not have been able to do this comfortably. Keeping a diary can be helpful here because it is really easy to forget these happy feelings and they give you something to read when you are feeling ready to give into to temptation.

As other people have said it is just about one day or one eating decision at a time. "I could eat this but it would be over in a few minutes and I will not remember it in half an hour"

I have also cleared the house of junk food that I like and keep things like carrots in my fridge (low cal and take quite a bit of chewing), my naturally skinny husband very kindly limits himself to junk stuff that I do not really like which makes it easy to resist. I eat frut (high sugar yes but better for you) and this is a great replacement food. I particularly like cherries which take quite a long time to eat so makes you feel like you are having an extended snack.

And you have MFP for support and encouragement

teresawardle

I started an online study called The Lords Table at www.settingcaptivesfree.com and it has been wonderful. Every day I have a lesson with scripture to complete and it's teaching me to be full of Jesus instead of food. Gluttony is sin and I knew that but never took it seriously until now. I am very serious about taking care of the temple the Lord provided me with and wish to no longer poison it. My husband is doing the study with me. I love it.

cmcollins001

1: Grab monitor with both hands, one at either side of screen.
2: Push monitor away from body and face.
3: Pull monitor really fast toward face while turning your head to one side.
4: Repeat

skinnyeascolady

Nothing is wrong with you.

Self-sabotage is a time-honored tradition that many of us have to deal with. Usually, there's some other issue out there that keeps you from losing the weight (for me, I was using the weight as a shield from attention). Weight is such an emotional thing for many of us that sometimes all the willpower and logic in the world aren't enough to trump that emotional binge. Generally, if you can figure out what you're feeling when you're eating it will help give you an advantage the next time you're losing control. Pay attention to your body.

And I don't think the reasons we self-sabotage are bull****, as others have suggested. They may not be logical, but they're still valid.

I so agree with this statement. I have lived it myself just keep going one day at a time or moment at a time and you will get to your goal. Hugs

kajohnson70

I'm having the same issues. I want to lose weight and feel so much better when I exercise and eat right but I just can't seem to stay on track! I'm always open for suggestions of what works for others so this website has been helpful.

kwest_4_fitness

Sometimes it’s just easier to settle back into a pattern. If you’re used to doing something a certain way, it’s difficult to change the pattern, especially if there are other things causing stress, anxiety, excitement, etc. in your life. It’s like you subconsciously view food as something that should be mindless, that you shouldn’t have to put thought into because everything else in life requires enough of your thought process. And because we don’t often WANT to think about it, we allow ourselves to simply continue our bad habits. It’s a conscious effort.

You have to tell yourself that you’re going to do it. Write notes and pop-up reminders on your email and electronic calendar. Use an app on your phone to send yourself positive messages. Use MFP to post reminders in your status. Mine for today was: “Daily reminder that I AM NOT HUNGRY. I am loaded down with work tasks, anxious about all of the events I’ve planned for an upcoming work seminar, worrying over throwing my mom’s 60th birthday party in October, and school. It isn’t hunger; it’s anxiety, stress, and a need for distraction. It’s also that absentminded habit of reaching for food while busy with something else, similar to eating popcorn mindlessly at the theatre.”

melindadunston

Plan, Plan, Plan! I am MUCH less likely to self sabotage if at the beginning of the day I sit down and plan everything I am going to eat down to my night time snack. Then you can tweek it if need be through the day. But looking ahead to what you are going to eat helps me think I can do this! Then if you want to stop on the way home from work for McDonalds or whatever you just tell yourself No that isn't what is on the schedule. It works for me...most of the time. If you screw up on day it's fine but start from there and keep going!