whats wrong with me???

Cinnamon0603

This is probably going to go against what most will tell you, but this is what I found for myself. I too have been one that sabotages myself when it comes to weight loss. Hell with anything for that matter. What had to happen for me is that I had to work on my insides first. I had to take a very hard long look at what I truly in my heart of hearts believed about myself and who I was. It was a painful look, because what I saw wasn't pretty. Whether those closely held beliefs were based in fact or not was not the issue. The issue was that I truly believed those things about myself. The biggest thing that I saw was that I honestly believed that I was not worthy of success in any area of my life. Once I was able to see that and find the courage to start changing those core beliefs; I found that it has been much easier to let my outsides reflect my new found beliefs in myself. The weight loss for me is truly an outward expression of an inward change.

Work on your insides, and the outside will follow!!!

fitwithin

Great advice here. Thanks. I am good during the week, but the weekends, I tend to splurge a little, but get right back on it on Monday. You can do it. Don't be so hard on yourself. You have a great support group here.

FierceFox81

Nothing is wrong with you.

Self-sabotage is a time-honored tradition that many of us have to deal with. Usually, there's some other issue out there that keeps you from losing the weight (for me, I was using the weight as a shield from attention). Weight is such an emotional thing for many of us that sometimes all the willpower and logic in the world aren't enough to trump that emotional binge. Generally, if you can figure out what you're feeling when you're eating it will help give you an advantage the next time you're losing control. Pay attention to your body.

And I don't think the reasons we self-sabotage are bull****, as others have suggested. They may not be logical, but they're still valid.

I agree! Nothing is wrong with you

Best of luck. You have all the tools and support you need right here. Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself.

arl999

I think it is about small first steps and interim goals - the first 5lbs, the first 10 etc.

I have the fitbit and find it really motivational. I now choose to walk up a flight of stairs or get off a stop early and walk just to get my counter up.

I have also found that as I lose I feel much better and get lots of small NSVs every day. So today I was out to lunch with a colleague in a really nice restaurant which served chocolate truffles and jellies at the end of the meal and I did not eat any and still feel good for this. Equally I could have eaten them and just logged it and made compensations elsewhere. But I did not feel that I needed them. On Monday I walked over 1.5 miles at the end of a meeting on the way home and then caught transport and a couple of months ago I really would not have been able to do this comfortably. Keeping a diary can be helpful here because it is really easy to forget these happy feelings and they give you something to read when you are feeling ready to give into to temptation.

As other people have said it is just about one day or one eating decision at a time. "I could eat this but it would be over in a few minutes and I will not remember it in half an hour"

I have also cleared the house of junk food that I like and keep things like carrots in my fridge (low cal and take quite a bit of chewing), my naturally skinny husband very kindly limits himself to junk stuff that I do not really like which makes it easy to resist. I eat frut (high sugar yes but better for you) and this is a great replacement food. I particularly like cherries which take quite a long time to eat so makes you feel like you are having an extended snack.

And you have MFP for support and encouragement

teresawardle

I started an online study called The Lords Table at www.settingcaptivesfree.com and it has been wonderful. Every day I have a lesson with scripture to complete and it's teaching me to be full of Jesus instead of food. Gluttony is sin and I knew that but never took it seriously until now. I am very serious about taking care of the temple the Lord provided me with and wish to no longer poison it. My husband is doing the study with me. I love it.

cmcollins001

1: Grab monitor with both hands, one at either side of screen.
2: Push monitor away from body and face.
3: Pull monitor really fast toward face while turning your head to one side.
4: Repeat

skinnyeascolady

Nothing is wrong with you.

Self-sabotage is a time-honored tradition that many of us have to deal with. Usually, there's some other issue out there that keeps you from losing the weight (for me, I was using the weight as a shield from attention). Weight is such an emotional thing for many of us that sometimes all the willpower and logic in the world aren't enough to trump that emotional binge. Generally, if you can figure out what you're feeling when you're eating it will help give you an advantage the next time you're losing control. Pay attention to your body.

And I don't think the reasons we self-sabotage are bull****, as others have suggested. They may not be logical, but they're still valid.

I so agree with this statement. I have lived it myself just keep going one day at a time or moment at a time and you will get to your goal. Hugs

kajohnson70

I'm having the same issues. I want to lose weight and feel so much better when I exercise and eat right but I just can't seem to stay on track! I'm always open for suggestions of what works for others so this website has been helpful.

kwest_4_fitness

Sometimes it’s just easier to settle back into a pattern. If you’re used to doing something a certain way, it’s difficult to change the pattern, especially if there are other things causing stress, anxiety, excitement, etc. in your life. It’s like you subconsciously view food as something that should be mindless, that you shouldn’t have to put thought into because everything else in life requires enough of your thought process. And because we don’t often WANT to think about it, we allow ourselves to simply continue our bad habits. It’s a conscious effort.

You have to tell yourself that you’re going to do it. Write notes and pop-up reminders on your email and electronic calendar. Use an app on your phone to send yourself positive messages. Use MFP to post reminders in your status. Mine for today was: “Daily reminder that I AM NOT HUNGRY. I am loaded down with work tasks, anxious about all of the events I’ve planned for an upcoming work seminar, worrying over throwing my mom’s 60th birthday party in October, and school. It isn’t hunger; it’s anxiety, stress, and a need for distraction. It’s also that absentminded habit of reaching for food while busy with something else, similar to eating popcorn mindlessly at the theatre.”

melindadunston

Plan, Plan, Plan! I am MUCH less likely to self sabotage if at the beginning of the day I sit down and plan everything I am going to eat down to my night time snack. Then you can tweek it if need be through the day. But looking ahead to what you are going to eat helps me think I can do this! Then if you want to stop on the way home from work for McDonalds or whatever you just tell yourself No that isn't what is on the schedule. It works for me...most of the time. If you screw up on day it's fine but start from there and keep going!

askcupid117

I completely know how you feel. I plan to work out and to eat healthy and I do great all day, sometimes even through dinner. But then the sun goes down and its 9pm and I tell myself "I did so good today, I deserve a treat....." and it just spirals down ward from there. One cookie turns into two, which then needs milk and the next thing I know I just ate half a box! Keeping my hands busy at night and my mind occupied helps. I just try to remind myself constantly that I am a work in progress.

lilangel317

Deciding to lose weight is totally different than deciding to be healthy. I know how you feel when you feel like you have totally messed up the day with the amount of calories you have taken in. We all have those days. Take it one day at a time (some days I have to take it one meal or snack at a time). I see alot of suggestions on small changes. I encourage that also. Small changes add up. We all have our habits that make us or break us. I had someone tell me that it takes 21 days to form new habits and 30 days to break old ones. When I started this it took me a good 45 days to get into the new habits and shake off the old ones.

Decide you want to be healthy and start making healthier choices with your food. Walking the dog is good exercise. Keep doing that. You may even see a difference in your back problems with just that bit of exercise. Talk with your doctor about some back strengthening exercises that will help you along the way.

Planning is crucial to your success. Weigh and measure everything! Don't deprive yourself of the things you love, just make sure they are within your calorie budget for the day. Skinnytaste.com has some good recipes too that you can incorporate into your menu planning that have a lot of taste and not a lot of calories.

You have taken a good first step by joining MFP. This has been my accountability. Oh! One last thing! You have to do this for YOU! You have to decide that you are worth the efforts and hard work that it's going to take to get where you want to be. No one else needs to be responsible for your success but you.

You can do this!!! Add me if you want. We can be an encouragement to each other.

Dragonwolf

thanks peeps...i totally get using my weight as a shield...also i fear failure but am oh so familiar with it! ive also had such a strssful few months, but hopefully a lot of stuff will be cleared up soon.
as for exercise, all i do is walk my dog daily, ive some back problems so sometimes even getting out of bed is a major hurdle for me (not good when i am a student nurse lol)...
also its my mums wedding in 10 months and ideally i need to loose 6 stone to look slim in my bridesmaid dress, but it seems so much and daunting and also i dont think its achievable, obviously its oh so easy to put on, not so easy to get off, and slim or not i hate the thoughts of the foto's and people looking at me. ......
i will get there eventually!!!!! lol

Have you ever tried doing something other than just cutting down on calories?

For example, have you ever done something like the Whole30 challenge, or cut out a food/food group temporarily in order to force yourself to try alternatives? (It doesn't have to be something "extreme" like raw vegan or paleo, nor does it have to be permanent.)

One thing I found was that I always risked going over my calories, never really felt full (and was often feeling hungry after just a couple of hours) and always had issues with meeting my protein needs (and for someone active in strength-based stuff, that's not really good). I kept thinking "I need more protein," but, of course, I never really changed anything, so I never really got more protein (or when I did, it was because I ate more in general). Since I wasn't losing weight (or inches) with what I was doing, I decided to start loosely following the Primal Blueprint. Namely, I cut out grains and strive to eat whole foods in general (basically, PB gives me a framework to help me think about what I'm eating), and use the recommendations for carb numbers for weight loss as a starting point for determining my macro ratios (it's a lot less complicated than it sounds, I assure you!).

What happened was that it forced me to eat more protein (and fat, which isn't necessarily a bad thing), which in turn helped me feel full easier (because carbs don't fill me up), and kept me from getting hungry every couple of hours. That, of course, led me to not eating nearly as much as I did before. Now, instead of pushing my 2000-2300 calorie limit, I comfortably sit closer to 1600. I also found that breads make me feel kind of bloated and "fat", and I just in general feel better without them (I've seen some people report the same thing with things like some meats, dairy, or a number of other foods), which made it easier to stay on track.

Dragonwolf

I started an online study called The Lords Table at www.settingcaptivesfree.com and it has been wonderful. Every day I have a lesson with scripture to complete and it's teaching me to be full of Jesus instead of food. Gluttony is sin and I knew that but never took it seriously until now. I am very serious about taking care of the temple the Lord provided me with and wish to no longer poison it. My husband is doing the study with me. I love it.

My mom has been doing something similar, though more loosely. Basically, she prays every day for the strength to do what she needs to do lose weight. It's worked pretty well for her.

Even if you're not Christian (or religious at all, for that matter), never underestimate the power of prayer and other forms of meditation.

jzammetti

Nothing is wrong with you.

Self-sabotage is a time-honored tradition that many of us have to deal with. Usually, there's some other issue out there that keeps you from losing the weight (for me, I was using the weight as a shield from attention). Weight is such an emotional thing for many of us that sometimes all the willpower and logic in the world aren't enough to trump that emotional binge. Generally, if you can figure out what you're feeling when you're eating it will help give you an advantage the next time you're losing control. Pay attention to your body.

And I don't think the reasons we self-sabotage are bull****, as others have suggested. They may not be logical, but they're still valid.

^^^^^^^ THIS

KittieLea

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
Try setting aside a day to plan and even prep your meals, that way, you have no excuses.
I was on that yo-yo train for years and when I finally got fed up with my weight, I did something about it. You'll get there too, your mind just has to be ready.

Jac118

Planning my meals for the day helps sometimes. Exercising generally makes me lose my appetite and feel better.

BUT I have found that the best way for me to not slip is is the "out of sight, out of mind" method. If I am in the office and not surrounded by snacks, or if I walk home on a certain street that doesn't have a 7-11 or a grocery store or if I keep myself busy (volunteering, playing sports, going to meet up groups, taking classes etc.) then I do not snack and I NEVER go over my limit

But if I start to avoid social functions or if decide to work from home so that I could have complete "control" over my food intake - it has the opposite effect - I almost always eat too much!

Angie_1991

You have to be prepared mentally...get your mind around it girl!!! Think thin!!!!!!

sef218

I do the same darn thing all the time. I don't know why we do it. I can't find the magic combination to stay focused on the prize. If anyone of you have any advice I would love to hear it. I lose 10 gain 11. It is a vicious cycle. I do have a goal to lose 50 lbs by end of February. I hope I can do it. not so sure these days.

lt3ag4s

you got the desire.
develop the plan

1) Track everything you eat...be honest.
2) Identify how much you have to walk, run or bike to burn off 100 calorie increments.
3) Equate food to the exercising you have to do to earn it.
4) Earn your food.

If I want to eat a 300 calorie cookie, I have to hop on my stationary bike for 30 mins to earn it.