whats wrong with me???
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I completely know how you feel. I plan to work out and to eat healthy and I do great all day, sometimes even through dinner. But then the sun goes down and its 9pm and I tell myself "I did so good today, I deserve a treat....." and it just spirals down ward from there. One cookie turns into two, which then needs milk and the next thing I know I just ate half a box! Keeping my hands busy at night and my mind occupied helps. I just try to remind myself constantly that I am a work in progress.0
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Deciding to lose weight is totally different than deciding to be healthy. I know how you feel when you feel like you have totally messed up the day with the amount of calories you have taken in. We all have those days. Take it one day at a time (some days I have to take it one meal or snack at a time). I see alot of suggestions on small changes. I encourage that also. Small changes add up. We all have our habits that make us or break us. I had someone tell me that it takes 21 days to form new habits and 30 days to break old ones. When I started this it took me a good 45 days to get into the new habits and shake off the old ones.
Decide you want to be healthy and start making healthier choices with your food. Walking the dog is good exercise. Keep doing that. You may even see a difference in your back problems with just that bit of exercise. Talk with your doctor about some back strengthening exercises that will help you along the way.
Planning is crucial to your success. Weigh and measure everything! Don't deprive yourself of the things you love, just make sure they are within your calorie budget for the day. Skinnytaste.com has some good recipes too that you can incorporate into your menu planning that have a lot of taste and not a lot of calories.
You have taken a good first step by joining MFP. This has been my accountability. Oh! One last thing! You have to do this for YOU! You have to decide that you are worth the efforts and hard work that it's going to take to get where you want to be. No one else needs to be responsible for your success but you.
You can do this!!! Add me if you want. We can be an encouragement to each other.0 -
thanks peeps...i totally get using my weight as a shield...also i fear failure but am oh so familiar with it! ive also had such a strssful few months, but hopefully a lot of stuff will be cleared up soon.
as for exercise, all i do is walk my dog daily, ive some back problems so sometimes even getting out of bed is a major hurdle for me (not good when i am a student nurse lol)...
also its my mums wedding in 10 months and ideally i need to loose 6 stone to look slim in my bridesmaid dress, but it seems so much and daunting and also i dont think its achievable, obviously its oh so easy to put on, not so easy to get off, and slim or not i hate the thoughts of the foto's and people looking at me. ......
i will get there eventually!!!!! lol
Have you ever tried doing something other than just cutting down on calories?
For example, have you ever done something like the Whole30 challenge, or cut out a food/food group temporarily in order to force yourself to try alternatives? (It doesn't have to be something "extreme" like raw vegan or paleo, nor does it have to be permanent.)
One thing I found was that I always risked going over my calories, never really felt full (and was often feeling hungry after just a couple of hours) and always had issues with meeting my protein needs (and for someone active in strength-based stuff, that's not really good). I kept thinking "I need more protein," but, of course, I never really changed anything, so I never really got more protein (or when I did, it was because I ate more in general). Since I wasn't losing weight (or inches) with what I was doing, I decided to start loosely following the Primal Blueprint. Namely, I cut out grains and strive to eat whole foods in general (basically, PB gives me a framework to help me think about what I'm eating), and use the recommendations for carb numbers for weight loss as a starting point for determining my macro ratios (it's a lot less complicated than it sounds, I assure you!).
What happened was that it forced me to eat more protein (and fat, which isn't necessarily a bad thing), which in turn helped me feel full easier (because carbs don't fill me up), and kept me from getting hungry every couple of hours. That, of course, led me to not eating nearly as much as I did before. Now, instead of pushing my 2000-2300 calorie limit, I comfortably sit closer to 1600. I also found that breads make me feel kind of bloated and "fat", and I just in general feel better without them (I've seen some people report the same thing with things like some meats, dairy, or a number of other foods), which made it easier to stay on track.0 -
I started an online study called The Lords Table at www.settingcaptivesfree.com and it has been wonderful. Every day I have a lesson with scripture to complete and it's teaching me to be full of Jesus instead of food. Gluttony is sin and I knew that but never took it seriously until now. I am very serious about taking care of the temple the Lord provided me with and wish to no longer poison it. My husband is doing the study with me. I love it.
My mom has been doing something similar, though more loosely. Basically, she prays every day for the strength to do what she needs to do lose weight. It's worked pretty well for her.
Even if you're not Christian (or religious at all, for that matter), never underestimate the power of prayer and other forms of meditation.0 -
Nothing is wrong with you.
Self-sabotage is a time-honored tradition that many of us have to deal with. Usually, there's some other issue out there that keeps you from losing the weight (for me, I was using the weight as a shield from attention). Weight is such an emotional thing for many of us that sometimes all the willpower and logic in the world aren't enough to trump that emotional binge. Generally, if you can figure out what you're feeling when you're eating it will help give you an advantage the next time you're losing control. Pay attention to your body.
And I don't think the reasons we self-sabotage are bull****, as others have suggested. They may not be logical, but they're still valid.
^^^^^^^ THIS0 -
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
Try setting aside a day to plan and even prep your meals, that way, you have no excuses.
I was on that yo-yo train for years and when I finally got fed up with my weight, I did something about it. You'll get there too, your mind just has to be ready.0 -
Planning my meals for the day helps sometimes. Exercising generally makes me lose my appetite and feel better.
BUT I have found that the best way for me to not slip is is the "out of sight, out of mind" method. If I am in the office and not surrounded by snacks, or if I walk home on a certain street that doesn't have a 7-11 or a grocery store or if I keep myself busy (volunteering, playing sports, going to meet up groups, taking classes etc.) then I do not snack and I NEVER go over my limit
But if I start to avoid social functions or if decide to work from home so that I could have complete "control" over my food intake - it has the opposite effect - I almost always eat too much!0 -
You have to be prepared mentally...get your mind around it girl!!! Think thin!!!!!!0
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I do the same darn thing all the time. I don't know why we do it. I can't find the magic combination to stay focused on the prize. If anyone of you have any advice I would love to hear it. I lose 10 gain 11. It is a vicious cycle. I do have a goal to lose 50 lbs by end of February. I hope I can do it. not so sure these days.0
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you got the desire.
develop the plan
1) Track everything you eat...be honest.
2) Identify how much you have to walk, run or bike to burn off 100 calorie increments.
3) Equate food to the exercising you have to do to earn it.
4) Earn your food.
If I want to eat a 300 calorie cookie, I have to hop on my stationary bike for 30 mins to earn it.0 -
Wanting to do it is the same thing as being interested in doing it. Stop being interested and get committed to it!
Planning every meal for the day will help you keep on track but it's up to you to be honest and do not eat anything else other then on your plan. Another thing I've been told is "If you can't eat it responsibly, keep it out of your house." so in other words if chips are the issues, toss them out. If cookies, cake, ice cream Ect... Is the issue get it out of your house.
My issue is sweets, I can do them responsibly until TOM so then I have to either indulge and regret later or keep them away from me all together. No one can do it for us, we are in charge of what goes in our mouths.0 -
It is NOT linear. I have not been able to start losing weight and then consistently lose. It's down a week, then flat for a couple of weeks, then down for a few weeks, then another flat week. I have to remember that I'm in it for the long haul, so a bad day, or a week without losing, is a bump, not a full scale failure. No need to throw in the towel over a bump. It's the long haul that matters.0
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I doubt there is anything wrong with you. But there is obviously something wrong with the weight loss plans you've been using. Try different healthy eating plans and exercises. There is no one right way to lose weight and get fit, but there is one way that will work best for you. When you find that, it will work. If you start something and are miserable, don't continue. Find something else. If you want to lose consistently and keep it off you need to find something you can be happy doing for the rest of your life.0
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everytime i do it....
i make a plan to loose weight cause i hate who i see looking back at me
For me I had to come at this from a place of self love and acceptance. I wanted to be healthy and beautiful. I wanted and still want to love myself.
I think, and this is for me, when you start to feel acceptanct and you want to do this for yourself because you are worth it and because you care about being stronger and healthier than the rest will come. The motivation will be innate because you always take care of your most precious possesion.
But I'm pregnant now (a result of weight loss) so I'm extra emotional and mushy, Just my 2 cents. Be patient and kind to yourself.0 -
Start small. I started with a small caloric reduction and started walking at lunch around the parking lots at work. I added a little by little. I get bored easily so I try a new activity each week. Right now, I am enjoying zumba on the wii. My weight loss has been slow but stable. Best of all, I don't feel like I am dieting so it should not be hard to maintain.0
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What's wrong with you? You're human. The best thing you can do is just keep trying.
I've gained and lost so much weight in my lifetime, it's ridiculous. But if I don't keep trying, I'll never lose it.0 -
I don't think the reasons we self-sabotage are bull****, as others have suggested. They may not be logical, but they're still valid.
They[re not bull****, and they often have their own logic if you dig sufficiently deeply. If you talk to a complete stranger who isn't in the habit of self-examination, the underlying cause is not likely to come out because we all know what we're "supposed" to think and feel about things like weight loss.
I have found that, assuming a person of normal intelligence with adequate resources to attack a problem (money, support), a recurring problem usually is evidence of an emotional issue. Although it can't hurt to think through the problem once or twice, it's not going to resolve the issue because it's not intellectually-based.
In cases like that, it's better to keep thinking to a minimum and to focus instead on structures and habits that will support the desired behavior. You're unlikely to think yourself into the right solution. Because it's about feelings that may have formed when you were quite young.0 -
If you keep trying to DIET, you will never succeed. It must be a change in your thinking and a lifestyle change.
My first suggestion would be to NOT change your eating for a week. Simply focus on writing down everything you eat. You can eat anything you want, as long as you know how many calories it has, and preferable other data, i.e. fat grams, sugar, fiber, carbs, etc. Most foods are in the database here and have all that info ready to add to your diary.
You have carried the extra weight this long, one more week won't kill you.
WHY do I suggest this?
You need to learn first to be completely honest with yourself. Don't open your diary up yet. No one else will see it but you. But you really need to see exactly what and how much you are putting in your body. Will it be hard to do? Yes. Will it be painful? Yes. But you cannot change what you don't acknowledge.
Once you know where you are starting from, you can start to make small changes. Add more lean protein while cutting back on processed sugar. Add more fresh fruits and vegetables to replace chips and candy. Drink more water and less soda. If you have a craving for something unhealthy, delay allowing yourself to have it. You can have it in 30 minutes. Or you can have it if you walk for 10 minutes and drink a glass of water first. As you make small changes, you will start to feel better, and have more confidence in yourself that you can do this, and you are worth it.
Jumping on and off a diet will only set you up for failure, result in even more weight gain, and cause you to loathe yourself even more, every time you 'FAIL".
You are worth a better life than that, and when you start to believe that, then you will have the power to change.0 -
everytime i do it....
i make a plan to loose weight cause i hate who i see looking back at me....and then i sabotage myself and go over my already very generous calorie allowence....dont understand it, cause i desperately want to be healthy and slim.....ugh....i need a slap
At the time you make a bad eating choice your desire to eat is more powerful than your "desperate[]" need "to be healthy and slim."
Why? What happens? If you can't explain it because you don't know, can you at least figure out a way to prevent it? (Don't keep the wrong kind of food around, etc.) Not 100% of the time, not 90%, even 30% will do for now.
Beating up on yourself is not helpful. It creates intensity, drama which may make undesirable behavior more, rather than less attractive. Ideally, losing weight should be routine and boring.0 -
1: Grab monitor with both hands, one at either side of screen.
2: Push monitor away from body and face.
3: Pull monitor really fast toward face while turning your head to one side.
4: Repeat
Now that we got the slap you asked for out of the way.... We've all done that; we've all been in the same boat. It's a loss of motivation. You have to really want it - you need to remind yourself why you're here, what your goals are - and stick to it. We all got here because of lack of willpower and motivation. Find your motivation and own it. You can only do it if you get your priorities right and make the commitment.0 -
thanks everyone....
and especially thanks for the comment bout my smile (made me smile),
so this is my plan for now:
1. small changes...this week its gonna be have breakfast and incorporate a glass of water into my day to replace a cup of tea.
2. walk the dog EVERY day.
3. work by 7lb goals, every 7lb i loose i will put 10pound on a giftcard for a clothes shop.
4. log everyday!!!!
5. as soon as one item of clothing gets loose get rid!
i aint into religion. but thank you for the thought....and i couldnt commit to drastic diets like vegan etc but again thanks for the suggestion.
feel free to add me0 -
I always like to log everything for 2moro b4 i go to bed so i know EXACTLY what i can eat and i train myself to think i cant have anything i havent written down. u defo have to be in the proper frame of mind and ur wee plan sounds good to go
lots of luck xx 0 -
The best change you could make is to move toward loving yourself. Cheesy sounding, but true. It was the biggest epiphany I've had. You have to stop the cycle of self hate, because how can you be expected to care for something that you don't like? At the end of the day health is about looking in that mirror and seeing the wonderful physical form you've been given, making friends with it, and then taking good care of it. We only get one body, and it responds better to love and care, than to loathing and punishment. It's OK not to like the way your body looks right now, but once you can accept how awesome it is in general, everything else becomes exponentially easier.0
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I found it really helped to do this with 2 of my closest friends. We all encourage each other and are accountable to each other. So I feel bad if I slip up because I'm not just letting myself down!0
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You need a slap? No. You need a reality check. Do what hurts the most - LOOK at yourself. LOOK in the mirror and SEE the person you've become. Only when I did that, did I realise I had to lose weight and so I did. If you feel nothing motivates you then you obviously haven't realised that you need to lose it.0
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For me, these are the major things that have worked:
- this is not a diet, its a lifestyle change
- weigh, measure everything
- track everything I eat, and I mean EVERYTHING!
- I NEVER deprive my self, if I want chocolate, I eat it but I count it and make sure its within my calories for the day
- I eat 1200 calories a day, it has worked for me for 10 months and Ive lost 41 pounds
- work out 3-4 times week, I don't typically eat my exercise calories, unless its a special occasion
- I understand that this is a process, I didn't gain the weight overnight, so Im not going to lose it overnight, this takes time, so I have to be patient
Feel free to friend me if you like 0
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