My experience with women...SMH

virichi08

I find that a lot of women that I hang out with want a man who is in super shape, but plainly doesn't think SHE HERSELF needs to get in shape (only to complain about how self conscious she feels around her man... hmmm)
(That's just MY PERSONAL experience, and I'm not downing anyone for it, just a thought. I mean everyone wants equality in a relationship, but it seems that that equality doesn't count when it comes to fitness.)

(And for those who are going to read too much into this, yes yes, there are other things to focus on in a relationship, but no matter how LITTLE the physical matters, the point its that it DOES matter... maybe not to you, but it does to many people)

daffodilsoup

Cool.

dogo187

what you have said is very true!

my husband told me that he wasnt attracted to me when i was big...it was hurtful but it was the truth and 124lbs gone later, i appreciated his honesty...

truth be told, most guys dont want a really big girl...

126siany

It's interesting that women do this, but IME I see far more men who couldn't see their belt buckle with a mirror and a map demanding that women look like lingerie models.

virichi08

It's interesting that women do this, but IME I see far more men who couldn't see their belt buckle with a mirror and a map demanding that women look like lingerie models.

AHHH, YES... TRUE. I have one male friend like that. It cracks me up (not because it's funny, but because it's HIM... you'd have to get to know this guy's personality...smh again. lol)

Wonderob

In my experience fitness and health is an all-consuming passion so when one is very much into it, and the other isn't there is usually some sort of friction in the relatonship. It's difficult but not impossible for one to be very much into healthy eating/lifestyle, whilst the other isn't

I know in my case I am such a bore when it comes to the subject! If my wife didn't feel the same way then my incessant ramblings on the subject would surely drive her mad!

knk1553

See, this is the opposite of where I live.... Most of the guys around here expect their girls to be super thin or super in shape but they walk around with their beer bellys and no muscle like they're all that. If you expect me to be in shape then you better be in shape as well, and vice versa. Although I do know a good number of guys who don't like their women to be all cut up or super thin, they would rather have some curves

ashlielinn

hmmmm...I haven't experienced this. Sometimes, though, I wonder if I'm a little too hard on my boyfriend when it comes to eating healthy and working out. I'm definitely not pushing him or mean, but I talk about it a lot. He's said he wants to get in better shape, so I'm trying to help! We work out together and I ask him to help me cook healthy meals, and we shop together and look at labels! But, every once in a while, I think it gets on his nerves. I always tell him it's NOT because I think he's not in good shape - I absolutely love him the way he is! It has nothing to do with his outward appearance for me, but when I see him order a bunch of fried food a day after his little, 19-year-old sister who runs every day and is a tiny little thing, was diagnosed with high cholesterol, I hear his heart cry out in anguish! I tell him it's because I want him to be healthy so I can keep him around forever!

AmyFett

I don't think this is true at all. In my experience, it's opposite. I actually like bigger guys and I can't stand super skinny guys, sorry! My weight kept creeping up and creeping up and there literally was nothing I could do. I tried and tried to get the weight off. I had a severely under-active thyroid for YEARS and didn't know it, and that's why I couldn't do anything but gain. My hubby doesn't mind my weight and he's actually a little bit sad that it's coming off, in an odd way. He says I'm healthy now, and he loves me and bla bla bla. I tell him I want to stay healthy and I want to look good for myself, I don't care what he, or anyone else, thinks.

rml_16

Shallowness is shallow.

Obviously, attraction is necessary, but to demand perfection in order to be attracted to someone? Eh.

Thankfully, I have had the good fortune to not know people like that in my life.

hooperkay

It's interesting that women do this, but IME I see far more men who couldn't see their belt buckle with a mirror and a map demanding that women look like lingerie models.

AHHH, YES... TRUE. I have one male friend like that. It cracks me up (not because it's funny, but because it's HIM... you'd have to get to know this guy's personality...smh again. lol)

personality goes a long way with me. He could be sexy as hell, but if he's a d*** then I don't want anything to do with him. On the other hand, he could be ehhhh with a super personality and I'm all over it.

Im4gin3th4t

Haha this is so true! Guys expect a girl who can do it all but don't take into account that if I have a flat lean stomach he better have a six pack. Ive met a lot of guys who can't keep up with y physically and not gonna lie it's a turn off it's way easier to be fit and male than fit and female

Maybe it's shallow but I just can't date an unathletic guy...

SoDamnHungry

It's interesting that women do this, but IME I see far more men who couldn't see their belt buckle with a mirror and a map demanding that women look like lingerie models.

I agree that I see this more, too. Though it's probably about even.

Wonderob

Shallowness is shallow.

Obviously, attraction is necessary, but to demand perfection in order to be attracted to someone? Eh.

Thankfully, I have had the good fortune to not know people like that in my life.

Most people tend to end up with someone who is their physical equal (fame and fortune will alter this drastically of course!)

My wife would say that she is not the physical ideal (laughing at the very thought!) - but to me, she really is. This is not me being blinded by love, of course i can see the appeal of a gorgeous supermodel such as Elle Macpherson, but me stood arm in arm with Elle would look quite frankly, ridiculous! Whereas my wife and I stood together look just right - do you agree?

My wife really IS perfection for me

rml_16

Shallowness is shallow.

Obviously, attraction is necessary, but to demand perfection in order to be attracted to someone? Eh.

Thankfully, I have had the good fortune to not know people like that in my life.

Most people tend to end up with someone who is their physical equal (fame and fortune will alter this drastically of course!)

My wife would say that she is not the physical ideal (laughing at the very thought!) - but to me, she really is. This is not me being blinded by love, of course i can see the appeal of a gorgeous supermodel such as Elle Macpherson, but me stood arm in arm with Elle would look quite frankly, ridiculous! Whereas my wife and I stood together look just right - do you agree?

My wife really IS perfection for me

You and your wife look adorable.

I don't know that you would look ridiculous next to Elle, though. :-) Either way, if physical perfection is first on someone's list for a suitable mate, that is not a person I would want to be with, even if I met the ideal.

Tilran

I would say this is true on both ends. Men and Women both need a physical attraction to make that connection, that spark. After that its mostly personality. I say mostly because if one falls too far outside the physical attraction that got them there, I think there is usually strain on the relationship. I can say that from personal experience. I dated a girl that I was attracted to, and went out with her for 4 years....around 3.5 years, she had gone from 125 pounds (when I met her) to 186 pounds. I honestly was not attracted to her anymore, call it shallow, call it whatever...but that was me. I tried for 6 straight months to get her to go with me to the gym, to eat better...tried everything...and while after a fight she would change her ways...it would last for about a week until the next fight....after a while...the fighting was not worth it.

BeeElMarvin

Shallowness is shallow.

Obviously, attraction is necessary, but to demand perfection in order to be attracted to someone? Eh.

Thankfully, I have had the good fortune to not know people like that in my life.

Nobody demanded perfection, that I saw here. I would certainly prefer to have someone be at the same level of fitness as myself. I don't consider it shallow to be attracted to fit and healthy people more than someone who is not.

semperfit1823

aka fat military wives because for some reason sitting at home doing nothing is harder than what their husbands do.

abberbabber

It's interesting that women do this, but IME I see far more men who couldn't see their belt buckle with a mirror and a map demanding that women look like lingerie models.

This has been my experience as well....

mfpcopine

I find that it's men who are far more critical and demanding. I see very unattractive, overweight and obese men with good--looking thin women much more than the reverse.

Most of the women I know are trim and exercise so they aren't exercising a double-standard.

mfpcopine

aka fat military wives because for some reason sitting at home doing nothing is harder than what their husbands do.

I'll bet it's boring to be a military wife. No roots, no stability, no strong independent identity... It's not hard to see how someone could get depressed and overweight.

geebusuk

I generally prefer the 'trimmer' lady; one of the reasons for getting in shape myself because I've got to expect men of them feel the same way about men.
Though to some degree men have it a bit easier as stereotypically it bothers women less.

allifantastical

I don't think this is true at all. In my experience, it's opposite. I actually like bigger guys and I can't stand super skinny guys, sorry!

Me too!

Cr01502

I find that a lot of women that I hang out with want a man who is in super shape, but plainly doesn't think SHE HERSELF needs to get in shape (only to complain about how self conscious she feels around her man... hmmm)
(That's just MY PERSONAL experience, and I'm not downing anyone for it, just a thought. I mean everyone wants equality in a relationship, but it seems that that equality doesn't count when it comes to fitness.)

(And for those who are going to read too much into this, yes yes, there are other things to focus on in a relationship, but no matter how LITTLE the physical matters, the point its that it DOES matter... maybe not to you, but it does to many people)

Yeah, I've dated a couple of girls like that. It never really lasts. They may look good but the fact they're lazy starts to take it's toll. I would much rather have a girl who doesn't have the perfect body but is active than a girl who looks great but sits around all day.

FierceFox81

I find that a lot of women that I hang out with want a man who is in super shape, but plainly doesn't think SHE HERSELF needs to get in shape (only to complain about how self conscious she feels around her man... hmmm)
(That's just MY PERSONAL experience, and I'm not downing anyone for it, just a thought. I mean everyone wants equality in a relationship, but it seems that that equality doesn't count when it comes to fitness.)

(And for those who are going to read too much into this, yes yes, there are other things to focus on in a relationship, but no matter how LITTLE the physical matters, the point its that it DOES matter... maybe not to you, but it does to many people)

I agree! I have a very close friend that let herself go once she got married. Her hubby gained some weight too, but she gained way more then him. She picks on him about his weight gain all the time. But goodness...if he does it back, she FREAKS OUT. hahaha

Then she is always saying how fat she is, and how she needs to workout more..all said while she's eating pizza and drinking a huge beer. SMH

Alex_is_Hawks

i dunno....i've seen women like that...but to flip it...i've been with men like that...

my daughters father made it VERY clear that I was competely and totally ugly and undesirable and that I should be blessed he chose to spend his time with me...

funny thing...when I dumped his *kitten*, he was VERY upset that *I*, the ugly one, would leave HIM.....

five years later and and 132 pounds later, everytime I run into him he's made it VERY clear that I'm now "acceptable" for him to take back...

problem is, you can lose weight, but you can't fix stupid and you can't fix someone who is so ugly inside....

so he's out of luck.

rml_16

aka fat military wives because for some reason sitting at home doing nothing is harder than what their husbands do.

Are these wives with or without children?

Because, while what their husbands do is most definitely difficult, it is also very physical. Taking care of children (especially more than one), usually working (I don't know any who don't) and keeping up with a house doesn't burn the calories that traipsing through a dessert carrying 80 pounds of equipment does, but it also doesn't leave a lot of time for exercise.

Not to mention the depression many feel when their husbands leave for long periods of time. Depression isn't particularly motivating.

rml_16

Shallowness is shallow.

Obviously, attraction is necessary, but to demand perfection in order to be attracted to someone? Eh.

Thankfully, I have had the good fortune to not know people like that in my life.

Nobody demanded perfection, that I saw here. I would certainly prefer to have someone be at the same level of fitness as myself. I don't consider it shallow to be attracted to fit and healthy people more than someone who is not.

The first line of the OP:

I find that a lot of women that I hang out with want a man who is in super shape,

From the third response in this thread:

It's interesting that women do this, but IME I see far more men who couldn't see their belt buckle with a mirror and a map demanding that women look like lingerie models.

CORTNEY5

I think it all comes down to personal preference, and of course, when you do get to know their personalities, it becomes less important. But initial physical attraction is definitely important.

CORTNEY5

[/quote]
Yeah, I've dated a couple of girls like that. It never really lasts. They may look good but the fact they're lazy starts to take it's toll. I would much rather have a girl who doesn't have the perfect body but is active than a girl who looks great but sits around all day.
[/quote]

There is hope for us active, but not perfect women out there! :drinker:

iAMsmiling

My own informal survey says that I see more good looking women with sub-par guys than the other way around.

Seems to me the male ego is able to overlook far more in the mirror and that women are more likely to find someone less attractive to be acceptable if he has other good qualities.