My experience with women...SMH
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I'm married, and one of us is in shape, and the other is not necessarily in shape
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It's interesting that women do this, but IME I see far more men who couldn't see their belt buckle with a mirror and a map demanding that women look like lingerie models.
^^This. I can't even begin to explain how many guys I know that want girlfriends who look like super models but can't even be bothered to shower twice a week, shave their stubble or go without their daily trips to Wendy's.0 -
Your in the military and have the same mindset as my husband (Marine Corps 8 years)... So I understand where your coming from.
My husband will ALWAYS be in better shape then me...It's his job to be the best shape.
I have and will always feel as if i shouldnt be eating something "bad" or gain weight bc he will think different of me....Military men complain about their wives gaining weight or not working out, and I get that...but we do not run our lives the same as you military people do... We dont think the same.0 -
I feel physical attraction is a big part of a relationship. I was teaching aerobics at a gym years ago and this powerlifter came up the steps as i was going down them, we smiled at each other as our eyes met...I almost fell to my knees, there was something inside me that just brought butterflies. I got a tingling feeling every time I saw this guy. yes, it was his good looks and huge body that was my 1st attraction but a few years later we were introduced, we really got to know each other and I fell in love with his personality, morals, family and everything about him..... and now im happy to say he is my husband! That step incident was about 10 years ago and I still have the same feelings when I look into his eyes. We both have changed, I still teach but have put on some weight. He still lifts but not breaking world records like before and we are still attracted to each other like day 1. There is so much more to physical appearance but it's the lifestyle that is created that builds a relationship...at least in my situation.....we purchased the gym we met at, owned it for 3 years and had a chance to sell and we did. we have less stress in our lives now and can still enjoy working out together and eating a healthy lifestyle as a family. our son lifts and competes with us in powerlifing...it's a family thing with us. It's awesome to take MMA training classes with my son, lift with both of them, talk about our goals, support each other, cook special meals for what they are training for, understand what over training is, when each other needs to rest, when we need an extra push, eat more prot, take in more carbs...ect. The reason i say physical attraction is important, it's how I feel inside about the man I love, it's not something I can control, It's just real.0
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It's interesting that women do this, but IME I see far more men who couldn't see their belt buckle with a mirror and a map demanding that women look like lingerie models.
^^This. I can't even begin to explain how many guys I know that want girlfriends who look like super models but can't even be bothered to shower twice a week, shave their stubble or go without their daily trips to Wendy's.
Absolutely, completely and TOTALLY agree!
I heard a guy say (he was single, thankfully) that he wanted a size 8, and if he married a size 8, he wanted her to STAY a size 8. If she got pregnant, she would have 2 months after pregnancy to lose the weight, or he'd leave or cheat.
The BIG kicker was, that this man was obese....0 -
thats a good observation. My hubs is ripped. me, xtra squishy. But following his example after kids and health issues, I am getting down to healthy.0
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Me: 100lbs, fit as a fiddle
Matty: 180lbs, squishy in the middle. He used to be 265.
Just the way I like it. I've got nothing but love for the "nice guy" regardless of the way he looks. He cooks, he cleans, he takes out the trash, but none of that matters. The only thing that ever mattered to me was the fact that when I need a shoulder to cry on he is there and when I am in the mood to go run (literally run) to the store 2 miles away to get gelato hes coming with me. He doesn't complain, he merely says, "I am there for you because you are there for me." My Matty is one sexy man because he loves me.0 -
Really? I've found the opposite to be true... I know way more girls who are willing to date guys that are out of shape, than guys who will date girls who are out of shape, regardless of what shape they themselves happen to be in.
But most of the time People seem to date people who are mostly in their league... whether they want to or not.0 -
I want a man that is cautious about his weight - no he does not have to be a buff dude but I do want him to be cautious. I'm not a skinny chick - but I eat right and I am very cautious of my weight. I want him to work out.0
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aka fat military wives because for some reason sitting at home doing nothing is harder than what their husbands do.
I'll bet it's boring to be a military wife. No roots, no stability, no strong independent identity... It's not hard to see how someone could get depressed and overweight.
I was a military wife and was fiercely independent. Maybe that's why I'm no longer a military wife.
(or a wife at all, for that matter) LOL0 -
I feel physical attraction is a big part of a relationship. I was teaching aerobics at a gym years ago and this powerlifter came up the steps as i was going down them, we smiled at each other as our eyes met...I almost fell to my knees, there was something inside me that just brought butterflies. I got a tingling feeling every time I saw this guy. yes, it was his good looks and huge body that was my 1st attraction but a few years later we were introduced, we really got to know each other and I fell in love with his personality, morals, family and everything about him..... and now im happy to say he is my husband! That step incident was about 10 years ago and I still have the same feelings when I look into his eyes. We both have changed, I still teach but have put on some weight. He still lifts but not breaking world records like before and we are still attracted to each other like day 1. There is so much more to physical appearance but it's the lifestyle that is created that builds a relationship...at least in my situation.....we purchased the gym we met at, owned it for 3 years and had a chance to sell and we did. we have less stress in our lives now and can still enjoy working out together and eating a healthy lifestyle as a family. our son lifts and competes with us in powerlifing...it's a family thing with us. It's awesome to take MMA training classes with my son, lift with both of them, talk about our goals, support each other, cook special meals for what they are training for, understand what over training is, when each other needs to rest, when we need an extra push, eat more prot, take in more carbs...ect. The reason i say physical attraction is important, it's how I feel inside about the man I love, it's not something I can control, It's just real.
This story is my favorite!!!0 -
aka fat military wives because for some reason sitting at home doing nothing is harder than what their husbands do.
Are these wives with or without children?
Because, while what their husbands do is most definitely difficult, it is also very physical. Taking care of children (especially more than one), usually working (I don't know any who don't) and keeping up with a house doesn't burn the calories that traipsing through a dessert carrying 80 pounds of equipment does, but it also doesn't leave a lot of time for exercise.
Not to mention the depression many feel when their husbands leave for long periods of time. Depression isn't particularly motivating.
@semper ewww can you be anymore ignorant?
@rml I agree completely... he has no idea what a military wife and mother goes through and how that may contribute to her poor choices.0 -
I see this going both ways, generally when the in-shape person is financially dependent on the out-of-shape person. There is a racial stereotype that goes along with this in some areas, as well, although is definitely not a deciding factor in this type of relationship.
Edit: I have never dated someone who was as into fitness and nutrition as myself. Honestly, it can be a bit of an obsession and I would love to meet a girl with similar interests as long as we can hang out without talking about it all the time. Nothing makes for dull conversation like macros and insulin spikes.0 -
I was in that situation. I was told by my last boyfriend that how I looked didn't matter to him. He just loved me. He never made any attempts to improve himself, so I didn't feel the need to improve me, and when I did he told me not to that I was fine the way I was. Even when I told him was doing it for me, not him, because he obviously didn't care if I got diabetes, or had heart failure, or whatever.
With Marc, my current boyfriend, he works out. Why should I get to walk around with a hot man at my side when I'm not looking all that hot myself? Sure, I've been told I have a pretty face, but now I want to pretty body to go with it. He also told me he wants me to do it because I want to not because I think he wants me to.0 -
aka fat military wives because for some reason sitting at home doing nothing is harder than what their husbands do.
Those military wives make us all look bad.. i work my *kitten* off to look good.. but ur 100% right about your statement but on my end i dont.believe my life is harder then my husband's its just different but yet i am not a house wife..0 -
Thank u!!!!! i was not sayig anything abt PERFRCTION but sme ppl get all offended abt these thinga but its a REALITY. Ive met guys who didnt want to date me because i dnt look like twiggy, did i get mad and lose weight, no. I just eccepted that im not HIS type and carried on... Also met guys who thght i wasnt "black" enuff because i dnt have a big butt, again, i didnt let it bother me.Shallowness is shallow.
Obviously, attraction is necessary, but to demand perfection in order to be attracted to someone? Eh.
Thankfully, I have had the good fortune to not know people like that in my life.
Nobody demanded perfection, that I saw here. I would certainly prefer to have someone be at the same level of fitness as myself. I don't consider it shallow to be attracted to fit and healthy people more than someone who is not.0 -
aka fat military wives because for some reason sitting at home doing nothing is harder than what their husbands do.
I'll bet it's boring to be a military wife. No roots, no stability, no strong independent identity... It's not hard to see how someone could get depressed and overweight.
I was a military wife and was fiercely independent. Maybe that's why I'm no longer a military wife.
(or a wife at all, for that matter) LOL
Nah. I know a lot of military wives and that statement (the middle one) is incredibly stupid and nasty. Shame on you.0 -
I thought this thread was going to be about something else entirely.
::hangs head, saunters away::0 -
Thank u!!!!! i was not sayig anything abt PERFRCTION but sme ppl get all offended abt these thinga but its a REALITY. Ive met guys who didnt want to date me because i dnt look like twiggy, did i get mad and lose weight, no. I just eccepted that im not HIS type and carried on... Also met guys who thght i wasnt "black" enuff because i dnt have a big butt, again, i didnt let it bother me.Shallowness is shallow.
Obviously, attraction is necessary, but to demand perfection in order to be attracted to someone? Eh.
Thankfully, I have had the good fortune to not know people like that in my life.
Nobody demanded perfection, that I saw here. I would certainly prefer to have someone be at the same level of fitness as myself. I don't consider it shallow to be attracted to fit and healthy people more than someone who is not.
No one got offended. Re-read the first sentence of your OP and the third post in the thread.
Please and thank you.0 -
I see this going both ways, generally when the in-shape person is financially dependent on the out-of-shape person. There is a racial stereotype that goes along with this in some areas, as well, although is definitely not a deciding factor in this type of relationship.
Edit: I have never dated someone who was as into fitness and nutrition as myself. Honestly, it can be a bit of an obsession and I would love to meet a girl with similar interests as long as we can hang out without talking about it all the time. Nothing makes for dull conversation like macros and insulin spikes.
Lol. True.0 -
i dunno....i've seen women like that...but to flip it...i've been with men like that...
my daughters father made it VERY clear that I was competely and totally ugly and undesirable and that I should be blessed he chose to spend his time with me...
funny thing...when I dumped his *kitten*, he was VERY upset that *I*, the ugly one, would leave HIM.....
five years later and and 132 pounds later, everytime I run into him he's made it VERY clear that I'm now "acceptable" for him to take back...
problem is, you can lose weight, but you can't fix stupid and you can't fix someone who is so ugly inside....
so he's out of luck.
Happy this douche is an ex.... I was with one tard that put on weight, honestly started looking pregnant and had the nerve to tlk abt my weight gain wen i was wrking out and gettng back to where i was. Lol0 -
aka fat military wives because for some reason sitting at home doing nothing is harder than what their husbands do.
I'll bet it's boring to be a military wife. No roots, no stability, no strong independent identity... It's not hard to see how someone could get depressed and overweight.
I was a military wife and was fiercely independent. Maybe that's why I'm no longer a military wife.
(or a wife at all, for that matter) LOL
Same here...nor was I fat. :glasses:0 -
I think that a couple of other people have hit on in - if you are the kind of person (male or female) who is VERY into fitness, where it becomes a huge part of your life, it's hard to have a partner who doesn't share that (in the same way that big religious differences or financal mindsets can ruin a relationship if you aren't on the same page.) On the other hand, if you are the kind of person who looks at fitness as a little part of your life, it's easy to maintain a relationship with a person who isn't in very good shape if you have a lot of other things in common. My husband was in great shape, I was in average shape when we met. We've both put on weight, but for him it's like 15 pounds/loss of muscle, whereas for me it's like 80 pounds. We are both still attracted to each other, but both want to get back into our former fitness levels. When you are in a relationship, you are a team working toward the same goals. It's very disturbing to me to think about somebody holding someone else's fitness level over them, teasing them, or generally making them feel like crap about something that has a lot of complex issues around it. In my personal opinion, if someone you are dating is holding you up to arbitrary weights/sizes, or threatening to leave you or cheat on you if you gain/don't lose weight, that person is a **** and doesn't deserve you, male or female.0
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When I met my husband he was skin and bones. I don't usually go for skinny boys, but it didn't really matter to me how he looked. He was just "it" for me. Some years later he gained a lot of weight. I gained about 30 pounds too. I was always attracted to him. Now he and I are gym buddies and we are both losing weight and gaining muscle. I am just as attracted to him now as I have always been. Obviously, his looks have changed drastically over 8 years and my feelings for him haven't. I just love him. He will be sexy to me no matter what.
I don't really get people who have this body type requirement of how the person they date should look. But, whatever...good luck with that...0 -
I think that a couple of other people have hit on in - if you are the kind of person (male or female) who is VERY into fitness, where it becomes a huge part of your life, it's hard to have a partner who doesn't share that (in the same way that big religious differences or financal mindsets can ruin a relationship if you aren't on the same page.) On the other hand, if you are the kind of person who looks at fitness as a little part of your life, it's easy to maintain a relationship with a person who isn't in very good shape if you have a lot of other things in common. My husband was in great shape, I was in average shape when we met. We've both put on weight, but for him it's like 15 pounds/loss of muscle, whereas for me it's like 80 pounds. We are both still attracted to each other, but both want to get back into our former fitness levels. When you are in a relationship, you are a team working toward the same goals. It's very disturbing to me to think about somebody holding someone else's fitness level over them, teasing them, or generally making them feel like crap about something that has a lot of complex issues around it. In my personal opinion, if someone you are dating is holding you up to arbitrary weights/sizes, or threatening to leave you or cheat on you if you gain/don't lose weight, that person is a **** and doesn't deserve you, male or female.
Well said.0 -
Shallowness is shallow.
Obviously, attraction is necessary, but to demand perfection in order to be attracted to someone? Eh.
Thankfully, I have had the good fortune to not know people like that in my life.
THANK YOU^^^ I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!! I am drawn, first and foremost, by a person's personality and character. I have been attracted to men of all sizes, shapes, and colors To say that fit people are only attracted to fit people is pure fallacy! 0 -
Shallowness is shallow.
Obviously, attraction is necessary, but to demand perfection in order to be attracted to someone? Eh.
Thankfully, I have had the good fortune to not know people like that in my life.
Not sure the original poster was suggesting perfection - just some attempt at staying fit and healthy. If I am going to be focused on that for myself I suspect that indicates what I am attracted to as well. As for being friends (as opposed to being attracted) no reason not to like someone just because they don't share fitness as an interest - there are lots of other things that might make them interesting even if the remote is their favorite form of exercise.0 -
aka fat military wives because for some reason sitting at home doing nothing is harder than what their husbands do.
Those military wives make us all look bad.. i work my *kitten* off to look good.. but ur 100% right about your statement but on my end i dont.believe my life is harder then my husband's its just different but yet i am not a house wife..
I agree!! Those wives do make us look bad, because I try really hard. When my husband was overseas I was pregnant, then again I worked 2 jobs and took care of a 3 year old... Now hes home and I work 60 hrs a week at least, workout, cook 3 meals a day, and take care of our 4 year old....But us military wives do not go thro the same things other wives do. Every time there is a move or deployment your world gets turned upside down....0 -
This thread is soooo true. When me and my bf first met he had a six pack. I gained weight and he started complaining. Now I've lost the weight while his stomach is now huge :-/....I'm mad that he expects me to meet his standards, while he gets to slack off. I want my six pack back! lol0
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Shallowness is shallow.
Obviously, attraction is necessary, but to demand perfection in order to be attracted to someone? Eh.
Thankfully, I have had the good fortune to not know people like that in my life.
Most people tend to end up with someone who is their physical equal (fame and fortune will alter this drastically of course!)
My wife would say that she is not the physical ideal (laughing at the very thought!) - but to me, she really is. This is not me being blinded by love, of course i can see the appeal of a gorgeous supermodel such as Elle Macpherson, but me stood arm in arm with Elle would look quite frankly, ridiculous! Whereas my wife and I stood together look just right - do you agree?
My wife really IS perfection for me
You and your wife look adorable.
Oh sorry, for some reason I can't read what you wrote, I'm afraid you're going to have to repeat it
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