Weightloss and Dating?

maledoux

I have a question for those that have lost weight and are single... have you found dating to have gotten easier after you loss weight? Like, do more people find you attractive than before?

Metspride129

i have yet to test the waters since losing all my weight. I was with my gf for 3 1/2 years. she got me at 240lbs, went down to 228, and stopped caring. we had a kid together, and i gained "baby weight" so to speak and bubbled up to 283. back in december last year i decided to get back into shape. dropped down to 226 pounds, which is my lightest since high school, and she leaves me LMAO. I've been posting throughout the forums on here and get a lot of attention from women (friend requests and messages all the time) so thats kinda cool i suppose. Last Sunday I went with my friends to Six Flags, and saw this girl who was my "type" to a tee (on the taller side, about 5'8, thin, long legs, blonde hair, blue eyes, and had the look and voice of a southern belle). She was on a line to a roller coaster that was next to mine. My cousin and his gf were on the same line as her, and apparently her and her friend were talking about me the whole time, and I actually noticed her friend keep looking back. Being fresh out of a long term relationship, I didn't say anything to her stupidly, but I guess it was nice to know that girls are interested in me (even though I dont see myself as a good looking guy by any means...but that's probably just my self esteem after my ex refused to have sex with me more then once every few months and would always push me away when i was trying to kiss her and get her in the mood)

Awkward30

It's weird. I definitely get more attention from men... but it hasn't really translated to them asking me out. I suppose maybe I'm bad at flirting or hinting that I'm interested.

MsTonyaRenee

I've definitely noticed more attention (the good kind and the bad) but I think alot of it has to do with my confidence level, and the fact that I am putting myself out there again instead of just hiding away

jazzalea

definitely lots of interest.... but I don't know how to get to the other side..... when it comes to dating.... I still feel 320 on the inside

staygoldeast

I haven't returned to the dating arena, but that's another story and one I won't bore you with here, but I've definitely noticed that I've been getting more attention, plus the confidence boost of shedding some lard, it's great.

amunet07

Unfortunately no. I get more attention when I'm skinnier but its the bad kind and no difference at all in being asked out. Sorry. Just my personal exerience though.

subcult

i have yet to test the waters since losing all my weight. I was with my gf for 3 1/2 years. she got me at 240lbs, went down to 228, and stopped caring. we had a kid together, and i gained "baby weight" so to speak and bubbled up to 283. back in december last year i decided to get back into shape. dropped down to 226 pounds, which is my lightest since high school, and she leaves me LMAO. I've been posting throughout the forums on here and get a lot of attention from women (friend requests and messages all the time) so thats kinda cool i suppose. Last Sunday I went with my friends to Six Flags, and saw this girl who was my "type" to a tee (on the taller side, about 5'8, thin, long legs, blonde hair, blue eyes, and had the look and voice of a southern belle). She was on a line to a roller coaster that was next to mine. My cousin and his gf were on the same line as her, and apparently her and her friend were talking about me the whole time, and I actually noticed her friend keep looking back. Being fresh out of a long term relationship, I didn't say anything to her stupidly, but I guess it was nice to know that girls are interested in me (even though I dont see myself as a good looking guy by any means...but that's probably just my self esteem after my ex refused to have sex with me more then once every few months and would always push me away when i was trying to kiss her and get her in the mood)

some of the ladies are gonna like you for your guns.

Metspride129

Haha, I hope so. I used to be a bouncer/personal body guard, and the way my arms are now, is like 40% of what they used to be. I miss having 18 1/2" solid arms at 220 pounds =(

i have yet to test the waters since losing all my weight. I was with my gf for 3 1/2 years. she got me at 240lbs, went down to 228, and stopped caring. we had a kid together, and i gained "baby weight" so to speak and bubbled up to 283. back in december last year i decided to get back into shape. dropped down to 226 pounds, which is my lightest since high school, and she leaves me LMAO. I've been posting throughout the forums on here and get a lot of attention from women (friend requests and messages all the time) so thats kinda cool i suppose. Last Sunday I went with my friends to Six Flags, and saw this girl who was my "type" to a tee (on the taller side, about 5'8, thin, long legs, blonde hair, blue eyes, and had the look and voice of a southern belle). She was on a line to a roller coaster that was next to mine. My cousin and his gf were on the same line as her, and apparently her and her friend were talking about me the whole time, and I actually noticed her friend keep looking back. Being fresh out of a long term relationship, I didn't say anything to her stupidly, but I guess it was nice to know that girls are interested in me (even though I dont see myself as a good looking guy by any means...but that's probably just my self esteem after my ex refused to have sex with me more then once every few months and would always push me away when i was trying to kiss her and get her in the mood)

some of the ladies are gonna like you for your guns.

xHelloQuincyx

i got asked out by a total stranger for the first time a few weeks ago while i was working. crazzzzzy stuff. totally flattering. must have had to do with a confidence boost and a motivation to make conversation/ be less shy.


and i totally thought i was having an 'ugly day'

i said "have a good night" and he said "you dont look like your having that good of a night" (i work 60+ hours a week counting college as work).. he was all "oh where do you go to school?" and it turned out we went to the same college. i said "maybe i'll see ya around" (trying to make him go away and stop making me feel awkward haha) and he put his hands on the cafe counter and said "i know how i could be sure to see you around. if you let me buy you dinner." i did a 180 away from him and pretended i was rinsing out the blender i just made his drink from haha.

nice try dude. and a total confidence booster

Crochetluvr

.....dropped down to 226 pounds, which is my lightest since high school, and she leaves me LMAO.

...my ex refused to have sex with me more then once every few months and would always push me away when i was trying to kiss her and get her in the mood)

Mr...I would have left HER long before she left you.

letmebeda1_wechange

yes i'm getting more attention now, when i go to the gym some men just stop working out to look at what i'm doing lol. haven't gotten that attention since in high school. because i'm shy i don't look for those moments to get a man to chat with me. at the same token I did find someone i'm dating now and maybe get married with in the future. but just the thought and confidence that has changed in my life since losing 65 pounds has been great. =0)

Metspride129

Well, the last year and a half I was really only with her to make things easier since we have a little one together. At least I got a motivator to keep losing weight and get in great shape...I have 3 or 4 nights a week to myself, and a BIG bed that is def. big enough for 2...or 3 ;-)

.....dropped down to 226 pounds, which is my lightest since high school, and she leaves me LMAO.

...my ex refused to have sex with me more then once every few months and would always push me away when i was trying to kiss her and get her in the mood)

Mr...I would have left HER long before she left you.

bethygirlie

Yes but not really asking me out....I don't notice sometimes because I'm still pretty self-conscious because I feel like the same 400 lb person trying to hide my weight sometimes. I have a fiance' so I really am not interested, although sometimes the attention is a nice motivator

Girl_Bomb

Guys don't leave me alone, as much as it is awesome lol I'm also constantly creeped out and feel like I have to be very careful when I'm out at a bar or something.

When I lost my initial weight it also helped me gain the confidence I needed to leave an unhealthy relationship, and now it something doesn't work out I don't automatically assume it was because of what I looked like.

TinGirl314

I've gotten more attention...but I started at 370.
Course I also have 'Victim' written across my forehead somewhere.
I only get attention from the perverts and the jerks.

Hey mister nice guy...? Where are you?
(Or girl!)

rachellosesitall85

I haven't lost all the weight yet, I started at 252 four years ago and I'm at around 235 but because I'm more of an hour glass shape, and 5'7" I wear my weight differently and get attention even at 235. I'm almost scared to continue because I feel like the "thinner" me will get too much unwanted attention. So much I'd want to gain back just to hide. It's one of the reasons I'm overweight now. Too much negative attention in the early stages of my life...like as a child if you know what I mean.

MsTonyaRenee

I haven't lost all the weight yet, I started at 252 four years ago and I'm at around 235 but because I'm more of an hour glass shape, and 5'7" I wear my weight differently and get attention even at 235. I'm almost scared to continue because I feel like the "thinner" me will get too much unwanted attention. So much I'd want to gain back just to hide. It's one of the reasons I'm overweight now. Too much negative attention in the early stages of my life...like as a child if you know what I mean.

I was teling a co-worker a similar thing the other day after recieving negative creepy kind of attention. I said "Maybe I'll just get fat again so I won't have to deal with this". But then my co-worker said "But you wouldn't be happy then!" which is totally true

rosej31

I haven't lost all the weight yet, but I do feel good about myself. I just started dating a few months ago he never saw me at my heaviest. Being that lost weight I wonder how it would feel without dating.

Luebella

I found that I was most attractive to others when I was in an awesome headspace. After a previous relationship ended rather unceremoniously, I chose to see it as liberating rather than mourn something that obviously didn't make me happy, and I started a love affair with myself which turned out to be a bit of an aphrodisiac. I was beating men off with a stick, I was certainly putting out something! It was my best dating year ever.
I am now in a loving relationship, and have lost 15lbs since we have been together. We promised each other to respect our bodies and remain healthy for each other (and ourselves of course).
Bottom line, you get out what you put out. If you are happy and confident with yourself, you will become a magnet for the same. That's been my experience.

atjays

I've been getting more and more trim the last few months and my work place now feels like I'm on the Bachelor... is that saying enough? Sure keeps things interesting lol

tbodega

I'm attached and even with that said, my weight loss has definitely attracted more attention from the opposite sex. I've noticed that even most of my female friends have tried to get a lot more touchy feely than even a couple of months ago....

With that said...my GF finds it funny when I tell her. I'm happy that she's confident.

felblossom

I joined MFP recently, so I've not lost weight yet - I've been steadily putting on weight since I met my current bf :P (lots of watching movies and snacking/eating junk food!)
I haven't really noticed a difference in attention with my weight gain, though. I work as a bartender occasionally, and people have been chatting me up on the same basis as when I was way lighter than I am now.

cmsu64113

A lot more! Get asked out all the time. But my standards have gone way up now so I'm pretty picky .

kimad

I started dating during my weight loss journey, I will say I didn't get awhole lot of response, and that could have been becuase I was about 215ish when I started. Not sure?

When I met my current boyfriend in January I was down 61 lbs, now I am down 86lbs. He has seen a HUGE change in me. If I had to try dating again (although I hope not I think I would have an easier time, I know that sounds ridiculous becuase weight shouldn't matter but when you use online dating and all you can base your first opinion on is a picture it's hard, you know?

I don't think it should matter, adn I am glad for me the men I met (2 I dated) didn't give a crap but alot do. Online dating is hard.
I say go for it, if nothing else you will learn some skills for dating, you will get more confidence with it, etc.

ETA: weight aside as an external aspect, my confidence is thru the roof now with my weight loss. I have alot more self worth, etc. and that would help emensley with dating as well. Sometimes its not just the outward appearance of being heavier but how it makes you feel internally that can make or break you for relationships. phew did that make sense?

kimad

I haven't lost all the weight yet, I started at 252 four years ago and I'm at around 235 but because I'm more of an hour glass shape, and 5'7" I wear my weight differently and get attention even at 235. I'm almost scared to continue because I feel like the "thinner" me will get too much unwanted attention. So much I'd want to gain back just to hide. It's one of the reasons I'm overweight now. Too much negative attention in the early stages of my life...like as a child if you know what I mean.

It's interesting, when I was 245 lbs I wanted NO attention whatsoever, now that I am pretty close to my goal and my self confidence is thru the roof, I love the attention haha!!!

daisyverma

I think weight loss goes beyond dating

People notice you more at work as well and are more attentive to you
Sadly there is still the perception of "fat and lazy"

Create the exact same profile online
1) one where you state you have an average/slim body type
2) one where you state you are Overweight

I guarantee #1 will get a lot more responses...

I have gotten more attention from people (not just men) and its sad cause I haven't change, just my shell is a bit slimmer

fizzletto

I guarantee #1 will get a lot more responses...

I have gotten more attention from people (not just men) and its sad cause I haven't change, just my shell is a bit slimmer

Though it's true that everybody is shallow to an extent (some more than others), I would imagine that the main reason people are more interested in a fitter person is because someone who is overweight/obese is seen as not being in control of their life. Which let's face it, ALL of us when we were overweight lacked control over our lives. It's not surprising that someone would see a very overweight person and think "if they can't even control their own body, are they really the kind of person I want to be dating?"

That's not my mindset, by the way. I started dating my boyfriend when he was obese (he's lost almost 40lbs now though). I tend to judge someone on their character before I think about their physical appearance, but on a dating site it might be hard not to judge someone by what you read about them.

Sweetsugar0424

I haven't dated since started this weight loss journey this year...I decided that 2012 would be my year to focus on me. Am I getting noticed by guys more at the gym? Possibly, but I think I'm pretty clueless when it comes to that kind of thing and I don't really go out to places where I would get approached. I do hope to date again at some point, but I think it's easier to expect certain things from a partner when you are the same way (active).

xiamjackie

When I lost weight the first time around (went from 130-115) a few years ago, I actually was MORE self-conscious and didn't get as much attention from guys because I was too self-conscious to even be approachable. I was asked out more as 130 pounds than 115. I eventually gained 5 pounds back to 120 and am recently down again to 115, but my efforts this time are genuine and it isn't effecting my self-esteem. I feel great about myself. So I think the difference is the attitude you have toward yourself and how you carry yourself, not necessarily the weight.

nikkishai

Interesting post, and I can relate. I started dating after I started to lose weight (from 180s to 160s) not because guys found me attractive, but because I had the confidence to put myself out there. I felt great about myself and I feel that guys were more attracted to that confidence. My (now fiancé) was attracted to the figure, but IMO, it was my confidence that inspired me to wear the dress that attracted him. . I'm now in the 150s working towards the 140s.