Weightloss and Dating?

tbodega

I'm attached and even with that said, my weight loss has definitely attracted more attention from the opposite sex. I've noticed that even most of my female friends have tried to get a lot more touchy feely than even a couple of months ago....

With that said...my GF finds it funny when I tell her. I'm happy that she's confident.

felblossom

I joined MFP recently, so I've not lost weight yet - I've been steadily putting on weight since I met my current bf :P (lots of watching movies and snacking/eating junk food!)
I haven't really noticed a difference in attention with my weight gain, though. I work as a bartender occasionally, and people have been chatting me up on the same basis as when I was way lighter than I am now.

cmsu64113

A lot more! Get asked out all the time. But my standards have gone way up now so I'm pretty picky .

kimad

I started dating during my weight loss journey, I will say I didn't get awhole lot of response, and that could have been becuase I was about 215ish when I started. Not sure?

When I met my current boyfriend in January I was down 61 lbs, now I am down 86lbs. He has seen a HUGE change in me. If I had to try dating again (although I hope not I think I would have an easier time, I know that sounds ridiculous becuase weight shouldn't matter but when you use online dating and all you can base your first opinion on is a picture it's hard, you know?

I don't think it should matter, adn I am glad for me the men I met (2 I dated) didn't give a crap but alot do. Online dating is hard.
I say go for it, if nothing else you will learn some skills for dating, you will get more confidence with it, etc.

ETA: weight aside as an external aspect, my confidence is thru the roof now with my weight loss. I have alot more self worth, etc. and that would help emensley with dating as well. Sometimes its not just the outward appearance of being heavier but how it makes you feel internally that can make or break you for relationships. phew did that make sense?

kimad

I haven't lost all the weight yet, I started at 252 four years ago and I'm at around 235 but because I'm more of an hour glass shape, and 5'7" I wear my weight differently and get attention even at 235. I'm almost scared to continue because I feel like the "thinner" me will get too much unwanted attention. So much I'd want to gain back just to hide. It's one of the reasons I'm overweight now. Too much negative attention in the early stages of my life...like as a child if you know what I mean.

It's interesting, when I was 245 lbs I wanted NO attention whatsoever, now that I am pretty close to my goal and my self confidence is thru the roof, I love the attention haha!!!

daisyverma

I think weight loss goes beyond dating

People notice you more at work as well and are more attentive to you
Sadly there is still the perception of "fat and lazy"

Create the exact same profile online
1) one where you state you have an average/slim body type
2) one where you state you are Overweight

I guarantee #1 will get a lot more responses...

I have gotten more attention from people (not just men) and its sad cause I haven't change, just my shell is a bit slimmer

fizzletto

I guarantee #1 will get a lot more responses...

I have gotten more attention from people (not just men) and its sad cause I haven't change, just my shell is a bit slimmer

Though it's true that everybody is shallow to an extent (some more than others), I would imagine that the main reason people are more interested in a fitter person is because someone who is overweight/obese is seen as not being in control of their life. Which let's face it, ALL of us when we were overweight lacked control over our lives. It's not surprising that someone would see a very overweight person and think "if they can't even control their own body, are they really the kind of person I want to be dating?"

That's not my mindset, by the way. I started dating my boyfriend when he was obese (he's lost almost 40lbs now though). I tend to judge someone on their character before I think about their physical appearance, but on a dating site it might be hard not to judge someone by what you read about them.

Sweetsugar0424

I haven't dated since started this weight loss journey this year...I decided that 2012 would be my year to focus on me. Am I getting noticed by guys more at the gym? Possibly, but I think I'm pretty clueless when it comes to that kind of thing and I don't really go out to places where I would get approached. I do hope to date again at some point, but I think it's easier to expect certain things from a partner when you are the same way (active).

xiamjackie

When I lost weight the first time around (went from 130-115) a few years ago, I actually was MORE self-conscious and didn't get as much attention from guys because I was too self-conscious to even be approachable. I was asked out more as 130 pounds than 115. I eventually gained 5 pounds back to 120 and am recently down again to 115, but my efforts this time are genuine and it isn't effecting my self-esteem. I feel great about myself. So I think the difference is the attitude you have toward yourself and how you carry yourself, not necessarily the weight.

nikkishai

Interesting post, and I can relate. I started dating after I started to lose weight (from 180s to 160s) not because guys found me attractive, but because I had the confidence to put myself out there. I felt great about myself and I feel that guys were more attracted to that confidence. My (now fiancé) was attracted to the figure, but IMO, it was my confidence that inspired me to wear the dress that attracted him. . I'm now in the 150s working towards the 140s.

veggiesaurus15

When I first lost the weight, dating was very difficult for me because I thought I was bigger than I actually was. It has gotten so much easier for me. When I open up and can be myself, I have a great time.

acidosaur

I've definitely noticed more attention (the good kind and the bad) but I think alot of it has to do with my confidence level, and the fact that I am putting myself out there again instead of just hiding away

This, a thousand times. I am far more confident now.

estrobabe

At my smallest weight, I got lots of attention but was in a relationship at that time. At my heaviest, no attention at all. Now that I lost most of the weight and I'm single, very little attention to none in reality. Trying to stay patient here! Lol

shutterbug282

I get more attention than I used to, but I think that's just because I feel better about myself and walking tall, and I don't slouch and try and stay invisible anymore. Hah.

MusicInMyHeart

I've definitely noticed that I'm getting more attention. None of it has lead to anybody asking me out yet. But, honestly, I think it's because I'm more confident about myself and the energy that I'm projecting out. Before I was pretty miserable with myself so that's how people probably perceived me.

People want to be around happy people! Not the cranky *****y kind. Once your mindset about yourself changes so will the opposite sex

johnsjes

I have to agree that I do notice more attention from guys but I think it's because I walk around "taller" and I feel like I'm in a much better mood. I think you just send out much more welcoming vibes when you feel confident and healthy.

I have noticed with this confidence I feel like I deserve a different type of guy. More athletic and successful and as confident as I'm starting to feel. I just don't know if my perception of what I'm moving myself toward and what I want in a guy are matching up.

MsDover

I was married 20 years, gained a ton of weight because I was miserable (for a chunk of the time I didn't even realize I was miserable... it had become routine). I started losing weight and realized I needed to lose the husband, too. He had sucked the self-esteem right out of me and I had begun to find it again. I wasn't going to let him do it to me again! I lost almost 70 pounds, and in my late 50's looked and felt better than I had in my 20's. I started getting LOTS of attention... far more than I even did when I was young and single. I did the online dating thing, met some wonderful (and a few not so wonderful) men, some of whom are still good friends, and met the man I am now married to. Since being married to him I regained 17 pounds, not because I was miserable, but because high calorie foods became part of our celebration. I got a grip on it and have lost 16 of those pounds. I have to say that dating after losing that 70 pounds was so much fun and so ego boosting! Meeting and marrying the man of my dreams made it all that much sweeter! I doubt if I hadn't lost the weight if I ever would have even met him. I wouldn't have had the confidence to even start looking.

RobynLB

Duh.

InPieces3

Well.... for me I have been a lot more *Confident*.... and I've seen men flock to me where as before I'd never get asked.

So that is a yes for me, however it has a lot to do with my confidence too! I feel WAY better than I did last year this time.

ldrosophila

Life is not fair then you die. Guess like the fat joke goes being with a fat woman is like being on a moped. Fun to ride until your friends see you on it.