I'm not making excuses but I need help!

Sojaided34

A lot of people on here seem to be self centered. If you'd rather spend time at the gym than with your kids, I think you need to think about why you became a parent. If I have to delegate everything for my kids to someone else, why bother having kids at all? And to those of you suggesting that she have the older ones take on responsibility for the younger one, bad idea. I was a product of a single parent of 3. We had to take care of my younger sibling ALL the time. Kids will maybe resent her. I didn't have a life or many friends because my mom adopted this kind of attitude. At 12 years old, I was responsible for getting him up, dressed, breakfast and to school. I had to quit sports because I had to take him to school and pick him up. As for making her kids wake up on their own, most of the time I'm still waking up my kids because they didn't hear the alarm. Even when they are doing things for themselves I still have to stop what I am doing to answer questions or help them with something. i was once told I was lazy (by a trainer at the gym). Anyone who knows me knows I am not lazy by any means. On days I do go to the gym I force myself up at 4.50am and at the gym by 5.10am. Home by 7am and my day starts. I don't drive so I have to walk every where (gym, groceries etc.) that takes up a lot of time. Like I said even though kids can do things for themselves, you're still checking to make sure it's done. My kids do help out and I still can't get in the exercise I need. To the person who said for her to drop her kids activities until they help out: really? You think threatening them will work? I think too many people have adopted the "me" mentality and it's the reason kids today are the way they are. I think her post was just to give you an idea of what a day is like for her. I think she's doing a great job. And even if she can't get in the exercise, at least she's eating healthy. You guys are suppose to be motivating and supportive, not judgmental and rude.

And before anyone says anything, I did work until my younger ones were born. Full time and took care of the household plus spent quality time with my kids. My kids do have chores, not as much as most kids do. And only because I would rather my kids have a life and be kids than to take up the slack or be responsible for other kids I chose to have. And no my kids are not spoiled brats. They are very independant and self-reliant.

patuleka

3 kids is a lot. I have 2 kids and for the last 20 years I've been working out. I cook (like really cook!!) every morning for my family. I am peruvian so we need to eat peruvian food. Have a full time job for the last 20 years too. When my kids were little, I used to go to the gym before picking them up from daycare. Then I joined a company that had a gym onsite. Now I still use my lunch time to workout. My manager knows I need my time. I know it's not easy. But I did it....You can do it. You can walk while your kids do sports, workout on the weekends.....there are so many things!!! weight before taking a shower....
No more excuses!!

Cadori

I would have your older son pack the lunches while you're getting the younger one in bed and have everyone set out their own clothes/gear before bed. Then you can exercise from 5-6 and then get ready at 6.

Bownzi

I have started to work out on my lunch half hour.... luckly we have a gym where I work... we leave at 430 in the morning and get back in at around 600 in the evening.... so it is not alot of time for working out..

AlongCame_Molly

Jillian Michaels' Thirty Day Shred is only 20 min long. You could get up 45 min earlier or go to bed 45 min later and try that. Her workouts are free on Youtube.

Also, see if your kids can hitch rides with friends to cheerleading and soccer a few days a week, to give you a break once in a while. You're going to develop ulcers, or the urge to drown yourself if you keep pushing yourself at that rate with no respite.

HealthWoke0ish

I have a pretty busy schedule. The only way I seem to make it work is by sleeping fewer hours than you do (I go to bed around 12:00am and get up around 5:30am. Luckily I'm close to work so I can wake up at 5:30, shower, put on a suit, and be in the office by 6:00am.) Anyway...

Okay, so what I do for working out is the Jillian Michaels DVDs. I can usually manage to squeeze in a 20 min workout somewhere. Also, I've had to face the reality that since I can't work out as much as I'd like, I have to reduce my caloric intake. (Just call it another sacrifice:)

Kudos for doing all you do, though. That's a lot in a 15 hour span. If it turns out that you are just unable to make any changes to accommodate exercise, etc., I'd still say you're an awesome person for putting your kids interests/well-being/etc. ahead of your own. Hopefully, for your sake and theirs, you can figure a way to accommodate exercise/fitness...but until then, I hope you feel good about what you're currently accomplishing.

Hope you find something that works!

Kickinkim418

I am in your boat. I have 3 kids as well. Between work, picking and dropping them off at school, making sure they get their homework done, and all the other stuff that comes along with Mom duties, I find time to run about 20-25 miles a week, usually 4 times a week and then I try to do some sort of strength training 2 times a week using the Free Nike Training Club App or a Jillian Michaels dvd.

You have to be able to make yourself a priority! Even if it is just 30 minutes per day, you deserve time to take care of yourself.
In the summer, I get up at 5:30am some days to get my runs in. On the weekends, I get up at 6-6:30 and get my runs in.


That all being said, I have a really supportive hubby that doesnt mind hanging out at home with the kiddos while I run outdoors. If you start making yourself a priority, things will follow suit....Good Luck!!!

Akimajuktuq

youre up at 5.
get up at 4.

Yeah, cuz sleep isn't important AT ALL.

First, nothing is going to work well if you don't get enough sleep. Also exercise doesn't have to occur at a gym. Just playing with your kids is exercise AND a great way to bond with the family. There lots of things you can do an home, and in a short period of time (body weight exercises).

Other than that, do what you do, make choices, and then accept your choices. No need to make excuses or feel guilty.

bgardiner49

You get up a full hour before you wake your kids - is that an hour where you're could squeeze in a fitness dvD.? I only ask because like you I have very full days and I get myself ready in minutes ! But. I am not exactly the most well- groomed woman I know!

I also think that with the schedule you have you are pretty active - if you're eating we'll you are probalbly doing enough...

carrieous

i work out on my lunch break or if i cant do that i take my kid to the gym with me- they have a wonderful daycare that is open until 830pm on weeknights.

TeachTheGirl

Old thread is old.

Melo1966

No time as a single mom of five was my excuses as why I got fat. Your up at 5 and not leave until 7? Sorry but to me 2 hours is a very long time. If I am up 2 hours before leaving for work I have gone for an hour jog before a shower. Learn to get yourself ready faster. You could also make 2 days worth of lunches everyother day. Take walks during luch hour. Do the stairs up and down on breaks. Go for long walks, hikes, bike rides on the weekends. And no offense but if you can afford sports, cheerleading, gymnastics, etc. and home made lunches there has to be money somewhere. It needs to become important to you or will never happen. Or be like me and stay fat until most are gone and then you can focus on yourself. Good Luck.

fatfrost

12 and 13 ought to be able to pack their own lunches.

Alynrochelle

Walking at lunch hour maybe helpful as others have stated. I know folks typically don't have the funds for hired help, but maybe a friend/family member/ coworker/ or neighbor could help out in the evenings. Running out 3 times in the evening for your kids activities is alot. Or having the older kids help your youngest one. Just because they are 12 and 13 doesn't mean you can't delegate more responsibilities to them. Find small ways to multi-task your kids activities and evening routine. If you are able to have the kids do more, you can then have 45-60 minutes to have for yourself. You know they say, mothers take care of everyone but themselves, and you lose in the process running yourself ragged. You gotta help you so you can be there for them.

sPaRkLiNgLYFE

what about weekends?

zumbaforever

Yep, weekends. If you really want to work out you will find ways to be creative. Burpees are a great way to get in shape in a minimum amount of time. You already know what you can do. Now you just have to get on it.

--Shelley

FlaxMilk

***6am - wake up oldest son
6:30am - pack lunches for self and kids, gather sports uniforms for after school practices***

This block right here can be entirely eliminated. Your oldest are definitely old enough to get themselves up, and it's not going to kill them to make sure the youngest gets out of bed. They are old enough to gather their own uniforms, and they are old enough to make their own lunches. If you don't want them to assume responsibility for the youngest's lunch, pack it the night before while you make dinner.

***4:30pm - rush home to fix dinner***

You don't mention picking the kids up. I'm guessing that means the kids get themselves home. Take a weekend and teach them to cook. The two oldest can alternate days. Give them a menu and a recipe. If they gripe, tell them how much you appreciate your help so that you can take care of yourself as much as you are taking care of them. If they continue to gripe, let them know that sacrificing your own health is not an option, so they can choose making dinner or their activities. If only your daughter is home, she can make dinners, and your son can get a different chore. He can also make his meals on the weekends and freeze them.

***8Pm - shower the youngest and get him into bed***

Do your workouts while he is in the shower. I've seen it recommended to break your heart pumping exercises up into 10 minute chunks throughout the day if you have to. Lift, do yoga or pilates, jumping jacks, whatever you like.

***9:45pm - finally able to take work clothes and shoes off before passing out***

Take off your work clothes some other time, like between 4:30-5:00 when your kids are making dinner. If they don't want to be seen with you, they are free to stay home.

I would also say don't sacrifice sleep for exercise. Be more active on the weekends and do what you can on the weekdays.

If you feel too guilty about asking your kids to take responsibility, check out loveandlogic.com

If you still feel too guilty, remind yourself that if you teach your kids that you aren't worth taking care of, they will either treat their partners that way or themselves that way.

Liatush

I have 2 kids (10 and 11) and I also used to be a single mom, so I know how tough it can get. I know you also feel like working out is the last thing you have time for.

So I will say that my kids are old enough to get themselves out of bed in the morning (they set their own alarm clocks), they make their own breakfast and pack their own luches, as well as make dinners when I work late (I sometimes work 20 hour days, so they have to!). My kids also walk to their activities and to school (as far as 20 NYC blocks). If they had to go further, I would be comfortable with them taking the bus there and back, too. You just have to teach them how to be independent - they love it. I will also add that I have given them both cell phones, just in case.

Easy fixes:

1. Wake up 30 minutes early - do a Jillian workout - it will give you energy for your morning, so you won't feel as tired
2. Invest in a crock pot - make baggies in the fridge all ready to put into crock pot and start it in the morning - by eve, its ready to be eaten - no work necessary. - save yourself the making dinner part at least 3 days a week - this can be a very healthy dinner - veggies, beans, beef/chicken, etc.
3. workout during lunch hour
4. force yourself to work out after the kids go to bed - even though you want to crash. Your body will adjust.

Good luck!!

mrscarrey

In your situation, I would either try and do a little something on your lunch hour, but MOSTLY I would focus on having the cleanest eating possible. Diet is 90% of our health IMO anyway. I personally would NOT try to work out by missing additional sleep or if I was too stressed. I feel that can do more harm than good.

wendybird5

One thing my mother did to help save time while raising me, my brother and sister was that she prepped all the dinners for the week on Sunday. Put all the ingredients together and had them wrapped in foil and ready to put in the oven when she got home. She had a menu planned for the week and then just popped the food in the oven and let it cook while she did other stuff. You could use that time to do a quick 30 minute workout from online.