GRRR Gym No-No's!
GorillaEsq
Posts: 2,198 Member
in Chit-Chat
After my evening at the gym tonight, I feel compelled to vent. Gym-time, is workout-time. The following are things that really annoy Gorilla:
Sitting on equipment I need, talking on your cell phone.
No. No. No. Nooooo. Here's how your next conversation is going to go...
Bob: Hey Bill, it's Bob. Got your message. I'm at the gym working out.
Bill: Hey buddy, great to hear from you. You're at the gym right now?
Bob: Yeah, I think I'll sit on this weight-bench and continue to be completely oblivious to my own d*uche-baggedness.
Bill: Awesome. How's the wife?
Bob: She's great...Hold on Bill, some giant meathead guy is saying he's about to shove my phone up my @ss.
Bill: Really?
Bob: Yeah. He just did. Hurts like b!tch. Good thing my Bluetooth headset still picks up.
Bill: So the wife is good?
Bob: Yeah. You know women... She's out shoppin'... Again... hahaha...
Taking up gym space whilst texting... Bad.
Hey, Miley Cyrus, no one gives a flying-*kitten* that you just totally have to tell Buffy about your super-awesome-fabulous new pink skirt. STFU, get off your phone and f**king move. K? LOLZ! WINKY-FACE! ;0
Looky-Lookerson with a chronic case of Stare-idus.
WTF? Did my b@lls suddenly pop-out and smile at you? Are you trying to eye-f**k my my b!tchin' tanktop? WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT? Here, meet Bob. Ask to borrow his phone. He'll call Bill back later.
Ok. I feel better.
Happy Tuesday.
Sitting on equipment I need, talking on your cell phone.
No. No. No. Nooooo. Here's how your next conversation is going to go...
Bob: Hey Bill, it's Bob. Got your message. I'm at the gym working out.
Bill: Hey buddy, great to hear from you. You're at the gym right now?
Bob: Yeah, I think I'll sit on this weight-bench and continue to be completely oblivious to my own d*uche-baggedness.
Bill: Awesome. How's the wife?
Bob: She's great...Hold on Bill, some giant meathead guy is saying he's about to shove my phone up my @ss.
Bill: Really?
Bob: Yeah. He just did. Hurts like b!tch. Good thing my Bluetooth headset still picks up.
Bill: So the wife is good?
Bob: Yeah. You know women... She's out shoppin'... Again... hahaha...
Taking up gym space whilst texting... Bad.
Hey, Miley Cyrus, no one gives a flying-*kitten* that you just totally have to tell Buffy about your super-awesome-fabulous new pink skirt. STFU, get off your phone and f**king move. K? LOLZ! WINKY-FACE! ;0
Looky-Lookerson with a chronic case of Stare-idus.
WTF? Did my b@lls suddenly pop-out and smile at you? Are you trying to eye-f**k my my b!tchin' tanktop? WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT? Here, meet Bob. Ask to borrow his phone. He'll call Bill back later.
Ok. I feel better.
Happy Tuesday.
0
Replies
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Lmao .. I love love love your posts they always make me giggle... and you know why they are staring????? well hello look at you darlin
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Funny people that make complete sense = win.0
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Walking around the locker room naked for an inordinate amount of time. I understand the locker room is for changing, so a renegade boob or a random butt cheek doesn't irk me. Just be expedient about it. Panties and a bra or a towel are all I'm asking here.
Standing around naked just chatting or leaning over the counter (agh, me eyes!) doing your makeup in the buff is just not necessary. I don't even do that at home!
Also, people who come up and want to start chatting with me. While I clearly have headphones in. WTF?!? Even taking them out dramatically doesn't seem to deter them...0 -
That just made my night!! Rofl!! I heart you!!!0
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Duuuude... why are old men in the locker room oblivious to the fact that their *kitten* is dragging the floor behind them?? Roll that *kitten* up and tuck it in your foopah man! I just ate!0
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Duuuude... why are old men in the locker room oblivious to the fact that their *kitten* is dragging the floor behind them?? Roll that *kitten* up and tuck it in your foopah man! I just ate!
What's this rumor I hear about them using the hand dryers for these floor draggers?0 -
They just throw them over their shoulder, and use the hand drier. It's faster.0
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After my evening at the gym tonight, I feel compelled to vent. Gym-time, is workout-time. The following are things that really annoy Gorilla:
Sitting on equipment I need, talking on your cell phone.
No. No. No. Nooooo. Here's how your next conversation is going to go...
Bob: Hey Bill, it's Bob. Got your message. I'm at the gym working out.
Bill: Hey buddy, great to hear from you. You're at the gym right now?
Bob: Yeah, I think I'll sit on this weight-bench and continue to be completely oblivious to my own d*uche-baggedness.
Bill: Awesome. How's the wife?
Bob: She's great...Hold on Bill, some giant meathead guy is saying he's about to shove my phone up my @ss.
Bill: Really?
Bob: Yeah. He just did. Hurts like b!tch. Good thing my Bluetooth headset still picks up.
Bill: So the wife is good?
Bob: Yeah. You know women... She's out shoppin'... Again... hahaha...
Taking up gym space whilst texting... Bad.
Hey, Miley Cyrus, no one gives a flying-*kitten* that you just totally have to tell Buffy about your super-awesome-fabulous new pink skirt. STFU, get off your phone and f**king move. K? LOLZ! WINKY-FACE! ;0
Looky-Lookerson with a chronic case of Stare-idus.
WTF? Did my b@lls suddenly pop-out and smile at you? Are you trying to eye-f**k my my b!tchin' tanktop? WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT? Here, meet Bob. Ask to borrow his phone. He'll call Bill back later.
Ok. I feel better.
Happy Tuesday.
I could get into some stories about my gym, pure entertainment at times. This could have been FTW had Bill and Bob really been Neal and Bob
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Walking around the locker room naked for an inordinate amount of time. I understand the locker room is for changing, so a renegade boob or a random butt cheek doesn't irk me. Just be expedient about it. Panties and a bra or a towel are all I'm asking here.
Standing around naked just chatting or leaning over the counter (agh, me eyes!) doing your makeup in the buff is just not necessary. I don't even do that at home!
Also, people who come up and want to start chatting with me. While I clearly have headphones in. WTF?!? Even taking them out dramatically doesn't seem to deter them...
AMEN!!0 -
I used to work at a gym and that irritated me and I wasn't even in the weight room. And also, I only heard stories about the men's locker room and it creeped me out!! Ick!
My other issue when I worked there was when I was on the closing shift. I realize your workouts are important but please be courteous to the people who work there and LEAVE at closing time...not get off the machine at closing time and take a shower. The longer you stay after closing time, the longer employees have to stay away from families and in my case homework.0 -
These are all the reason's that I have quite going to the gym! My workout video routine and getting out running/walking/biking has worked out great!0
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I always enjoy GorillaEsq posts! :laugh:0
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Lmao .. I love love love your posts they always make me giggle... and you know why they are staring????? well hello look at you darlin
I'm with Melissa, you're funny and nice to look at. LOLZ, winky face and all that jazz!
And I think Bill goes to my gym.... 0 -
Walking around the locker room naked for an inordinate amount of time. I understand the locker room is for changing, so a renegade boob or a random butt cheek doesn't irk me. Just be expedient about it. Panties and a bra or a towel are all I'm asking here.
Standing around naked just chatting or leaning over the counter (agh, me eyes!) doing your makeup in the buff is just not necessary. I don't even do that at home!
Also, people who come up and want to start chatting with me. While I clearly have headphones in. WTF?!? Even taking them out dramatically doesn't seem to deter them...
^this^
And lifting one leg onto the bench in the locker room to apply moisturiser BEFORE putting panties on :sick:0 -
There is a lady at my gym who recently b!tched me out for sweating all over the machine I was on. She told me to go home and she was going to complain about me. Hey, when I'm done, I wipe the machines down. Isn't the gym for sweating? Why is this a complaint worthy issue?0
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Leaving your SWEATY MAN JUICES all over the equipment without the courtesy of wiping it off when your done. I mean, I love a good sweat-sharing sesh with a guy as much as the next frisky girl, but NO! Time and place for everything!0
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OMG i loved these0
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It is called a Squat rack for a reason, not a curl rack.0
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You're awesome! Will come come to my gym and take the b*tches down?0
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Can I add one?
If you are strong enough to lift the weights on to a machine then you are strong enough to lift them off afterwards. I cannot lift 50kg of weight off so that I can put my 20kg on!0 -
AH the list is endless. It actually annoys me just thinking about it
1) Wearing scandals to the gym
2) The 1970's Olympic warn up routine pre lifting
3) Towels, bring one
4) Mobile Phones
5) Dropping weights/ free or machine. Place them down, no one is looking
6) The PRO MMA fighters that seem to have appeared in every gym over night0 -
wednesday giggle *tick0
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Duuuude... why are old men in the locker room oblivious to the fact that their *kitten* is dragging the floor behind them??
Those of us with DBS (Duffel Bag Syndrome) are an oppressed and misunderstood group. We hang our lengthy junk as a cautionary tale for all those who wear boxers... and because its a great troll.0 -
Brilliant! And so true....I also just love the people who sit on the equipment, taking up space while talking to a friend/on the phone/texting/whatever when there are signs everywhere that say "Please do not rest on machines between sets".
My gym has a sign in the women's locker room near the showers that says "Please be fully dressed before using the hair dryers". I think it's pretty sad that even needs to be posted.
It's not your home folks, you're in public. We don't need to see you naked.0 -
OMW!! I love these - soooo funny...
here's another one....
the steam room is NOT the place do your naked yoga!! I mean really if i wanted to be a gynea I would've studied to be one!! now cover that thing up and sit properly! Foof!!0 -
Ugh I hate those women who insist on getting dressed being the LAST thing they do before walking out.
'Oh you're sitting on the bench tying your shoe? TAKE MY BUTT IN YO' FACE while I fish around in my bag for something'
Jeez, put it away.
Also a girl who was complaining that her feet were sore because of the 'crappy treadmill' well I dont mean to be a know-it-all but isnt running in Chucks just a liiiitle bit retarded?0 -
After my evening at the gym tonight, I feel compelled to vent. Gym-time, is workout-time. The following are things that really annoy Gorilla:
Sitting on equipment I need, talking on your cell phone.
No. No. No. Nooooo. Here's how your next conversation is going to go...
Bob: Hey Bill, it's Bob. Got your message. I'm at the gym working out.
Bill: Hey buddy, great to hear from you. You're at the gym right now?
Bob: Yeah, I think I'll sit on this weight-bench and continue to be completely oblivious to my own d*uche-baggedness.
Bill: Awesome. How's the wife?
Bob: She's great...Hold on Bill, some giant meathead guy is saying he's about to shove my phone up my @ss.
Bill: Really?
Bob: Yeah. He just did. Hurts like b!tch. Good thing my Bluetooth headset still picks up.
Bill: So the wife is good?
Bob: Yeah. You know women... She's out shoppin'... Again... hahaha...
Taking up gym space whilst texting... Bad.
Hey, Miley Cyrus, no one gives a flying-*kitten* that you just totally have to tell Buffy about your super-awesome-fabulous new pink skirt. STFU, get off your phone and f**king move. K? LOLZ! WINKY-FACE! ;0
Looky-Lookerson with a chronic case of Stare-idus.
WTF? Did my b@lls suddenly pop-out and smile at you? Are you trying to eye-f**k my my b!tchin' tanktop? WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT? Here, meet Bob. Ask to borrow his phone. He'll call Bill back later.
Ok. I feel better.
Happy Tuesday.
Thank you for giving me my first laugh for the day!0 -
And those girls who come to gym in tiniest denim shorts and all-stars. I can't take those people seriously. Really, you're here to workout - it's not a fashion show. Wear the correct gear.0
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Your posts always crack me up!!!!! :laugh:0
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Sitting on equipment I need, talking on your cell phone.
I would rather have this guy - heck, I wouldn't even mind if he brought his laptop and set up office on the bench if it meant he didn't smell like they guy down my gym last night!
I swear he came to the gym straight from being trapped in a Chilean mine for 3 months!
"Oh my God, the smell is disgusting, it seems to be following us around!" My wife said to me as I followed her around
I had to pull her face into my armpit to prove it wasn't me. I smelled delicious0
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