I really think that I need serious help

eggonleggs

I joke about it a lot and I know people might read this and laugh, but I have the most terrible relationship with food. I don't eat because I'm hungry, I eat because I feel like I need to in order to be happy. But in the same respect, I am so incredibly unhappy being the size that I am right now.

I have only just joined and in the past week I lost 3lbs. Well, I'm not sure if I actually lost it because my first weigh-in was in the evening and the second weigh-in was in a morning. I basically dieted one day and then crumbled and had two really bad cheat days and then I got back on track yesterday and today I went over my limit by 10 calories.

I just really think I need some support because right now I have no self-esteem or confidence. Pre-pregnancy I was this desirable woman with killer legs and a flat tummy and now, after having my son, I'm this obese mess. Since he was born he is all I have focused on but through that it's like I have let myself go.

I am 5'5ft and now weigh 177lbs. I want to get back down to 126lbs eventually. If any one has any similar goals please feel free to add me or if any one has any motivational advice please get back to me, trust me I'd really appreciate it. Also, any one got any tips? I'm really new to this whole dieting thing.

KANGOOJUMPS

Well your here, and thats a great start!,.,,, this is a great site, lots of super people to stand by your side and help you!, You can do it,,, learn through your mistakes!

drmerc

Don't stress 10 calories

mearlie

1. One day at a time. Log your food today. Just focus on today. If you can, take a walk today. Just focus on today.

2. Tomorrow re-do line one!

3. If you have a bad day, it's JUST a bad day. Go back and re-read line 1.

I am doing the same thing. For me, I'm not good at routines, so taking it one day at a time and being committed one day at a time is the key, I hope, to my success.

Denisecandothis

Well your here, and thats a great start!,.,,, this is a great site, lots of super people to stand by your side and help you!, You can do it,,, learn through your mistakes!

I am amazed at the friends I am just meeting today. I hope to really get a great support group! I love what you shared above!! I sent friend request eggonleggs

scottcale

Try drinking a glass of water every time that you feel the need to eat. You can do this!

imalexgirl

It helps me to not think of it as a "diet"-I have to think about eating foods that will make me feel better physically, and like myself better. It is changing my lifestyle. I am glad you are giving this a try...I really think the folks on here are the best! The support and understanding is really helpful. You go girl!

sicilysclover

I joke about it a lot and I know people might read this and laugh, but I have the most terrible relationship with food. I don't eat because I'm hungry, I eat because I feel like I need to in order to be happy. But in the same respect, I am so incredibly unhappy being the size that I am right now.

I have only just joined and in the past week I lost 3lbs. Well, I'm not sure if I actually lost it because my first weigh-in was in the evening and the second weigh-in was in a morning. I basically dieted one day and then crumbled and had two really bad cheat days and then I got back on track yesterday and today I went over my limit by 10 calories.

I just really think I need some support because right now I have no self-esteem or confidence. Pre-pregnancy I was this desirable woman with killer legs and a flat tummy and now, after having my son, I'm this obese mess. Since he was born he is all I have focused on but through that it's like I have let myself go.

I am 5'5ft and now weigh 177lbs. I want to get back down to 126lbs eventually. If any one has any similar goals please feel free to add me or if any one has any motivational advice please get back to me, trust me I'd really appreciate it. Also, any one got any tips? I'm really new to this whole dieting thing.

You are not a mess! Keep this in mind - every successful day that you have is more weight loss. Your numbers will only go down from here so look forward to that! Feel good about what you are doing because you are now on the right track. Tips? LOG LOG LOG. Keep writing when you need support. Trade "this" (junk food) for 'that" (healthy food), one by one. Play around with your food, see what WORKS for you.

Katelynarcurio

dont forget, it isnt about just how much you are eating, but are you exercising as well? exercise is key when it comes to losing weight! also remember, it isnt necessary the calories that you are in taking as much as, what are those calories coming from? You can eat only a certain amount of calories a day, but it could do you no good because you could be in taking them from the wrong foods. just stay optimistic, and watch! you can do it.

Capt_Apollo

I’m going to teach you a little trick today to instantly stop this behavior and allow you to continue down your path towards a leveled up life.

It’s called the “Get the over it” rule, and it’s sweeping the nation.

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/08/16/get-over-it/

Phoenixchichima

10 calories? do a few jumping jacks

I know the feeling. I am heavier than you & shorter than you. (way shorter & way heavier). I started a small diet group with some friends & easy diet contest cuz that motivates some of them and we are doing it for 5.5 weeks, because I leave on vacation the night of 11/1. what we have all discovered this week is we've all decided, we can do this for 5.5 weeks. We all have a history of dieting and know about the "short term goals and long term goals" but so far, we've all discovered. since we are focused on 5.5 weeks it helps us focus on each day instead of losing 50+ lbs. and THIS day, is possible. and even if we make one mistake, in a day, we are more motivated to fix things THE NEXT meal. Like Mearlie says, "one day at a time" repeat.

UsedToBeHusky

Advice:

1. Find a support group either here within the site or, even better, in real life.

2. Like drmerc said, don't stress 10 calories. Don't even stress that one day you crumbled. Keep moving forward. Each day is a new opportunity to make new choices.

3. Don't think that you can't eat in order to lose. It just won't work for long. 1200 calories in a day is not enough food. You need to at least eat your BMR, if not more.

4. Stay away from the scale. It's not your friend.

Marie31450

You've taken the first step and joined this incredible site! Plenty of motivation and help here! We are all a work in progress..feel free to add me if you'd like!

cygnetpro

Welcome! For me, planning ahead helps. Hard to do with a little one, I know. But on those days that I catch myself without a plan for a meal and hunger setting in, I make less healthy choices or overeat. Last weekend I made a few big casseroles, plugged the recipes into MFP so I know exactly what I'm eating, nutrient/calorie-wise, packaged them into single servings, and popped them in the freezer. Again, I know that's not easy with a baby, but taking some of the split second decisions off the table may help. Best of luck to you!

clarkeje1

I would recommend seeing a professional like a counselor along with using this website if you think your problem is that serious. If you don't deal with the psychological/emotional stuff you will end up right back where you are even if you do lose the weight.

felblossom

Changing your habits - and changing your weight - is not something that happens over night. Neither is putting on the weight.
One day at a time, and slowly, slowly, you'll get a hang of it!

I'm 5'5 and at 183, hoping to get down to ~130, adding you!

Kendralh

Congratulations on starting your journey! So far, it's really helped me to drink some hot tea when i'm feeling bored or unhappy... it gives me something to do and has a comforting effect And I've started cooking more... keeps me busy and makes me proud of the things I create. Good luck! I'm right there with you

Marksman21

That's about my similar limit. I'm currently on my next leg of 50 lbs to drop. Ain't easy, but in truth, you can still eat what you like and remain in a steady decline in weight, its all about the calories. Exercise if you wanna increase that rate, but do be sure not to over burn yourself, ain't fun.

As for over or under, under is good, just don't go too far, for me it makes me feel sluggish and very hungry. If you do go over ... 100 to 200 cals over the MFP suggested net rate is okay, that's just the optimum number. Add 450 to 500 calories to what it's suggesting, and your weight is maintained, not gained.

Also, make yourself a cheat day, it'll go easier on you for cravings and enjoyment of foods you love. Yeah, you'll pack on the cals, but a days worth won't hurt ya as you burn it right back off next few days.

So seriously, don't sweat too hard about it, don't starve yourself, and just look to your number, do a little simple math and enjoy yourself, it can work for you!

ccjbarnes

Focus on the end goal not each day. I found that by exercising twice a week (one of which was an hours walk and the other 20mins of squash) combined with healthy eating and monitoring what I ate the weight has slowly but surely come off, even with a few blips on the way!!! Just think positively and don't fret about the odd bad day, we are all entitled to them!

ReNewYou

Just know you can do it. It is a marathon not a sprint. One bad day or even a few calories over once will not kill all your hard work. Just learn from it and see what you ate and when. Then tomorrow you will know better how to succeed.

kmccormick42

I can relate. When my son was born 11 years ago, I went right back to size 6. However, through the years of working fulltime & being a mom, I really didn't take good care of myself and I ballooned up to 165 lbs. I'm only 5'0 so that was a lot of weight on me. However, YOU CAN DO THIS. Since the 1st of June, I've lost 30 lbs. I'm now down to 135 and still working on it. Exercising regularly has been a godsend. I bought a treadmill on Craig's list and have literally walked my *kitten* off. Being able to track my calories on MFP keeps me honest. Hang in there and keep trying and it will get better.

Amber82479

Hi there,

It was hard to read your quote, because I deal with some similar issues, as it relates to why you eat. I've found the only way to move forward is to take it one day at a time. If you have trigger foods, get them out of the house. If you have the ability, find an eating disorder specialist. I can't tell you how much they can help if you find a good one. The day mine told me I have a binge eating/flour and sugar addiction issue, a lightbulb went on. I thought I was crazy before that. Don't give up on yourself - you CAN do this. There will always be slip-ups, we're only human. But with the amazing support here and your desire to make this change, it is achievable. One day at a time... Set reasonable goals for yourself. It doesn't have to be all or nothing from day one. Trying to do a 180 in your lifestyle is setting yourself up for failure. Pick one small change to make every week and very soon you'll be seeing the changes you so desperately want and deserve. (((HUGS)))

aimeercole

1. One day at a time. Log your food today. Just focus on today. If you can, take a walk today. Just focus on today.

2. Tomorrow re-do line one!

3. If you have a bad day, it's JUST a bad day. Go back and re-read line 1.

I am doing the same thing. For me, I'm not good at routines, so taking it one day at a time and being committed one day at a time is the key, I hope, to my success.

I love this! Well said.

zoober

Congratulations for taking the first step and writing down what you eat. Big, big move, huge in fact. Persistence can accomplish a lot of things that you can't otherwise do, so whatever happens and whatever setbacks happen, keep it up. @mearlie has a good approach, it's all just about today. But don't let a slip become a justification for simply etting it all go! Say "oh well" and get back on it. And exercise is never a bad way to keep you from food while burning some fat. Do it because you want to be a role model for your son! Kids never listen to what you say, but they watch everything you do. Let him learn good behavior from your example. Good luck.

BSchoberg

That's the problem with food... we use it for nourishment, solice, celebration. We show our love by feeding and by eating (how many of our mothers got a boo-boo face if we pushed away from the table while only just sated and not sick from overeating?)...

Your relationship with food has to change - and now is a great time for it so you can teach your son while he's growing up. So, you're on a 2:1 bad day:good day ratio right now? That's better than 3:0! And you'll get better and better!

Do NOT feel guilty for focusing on yourself a little more. You can't be the best mom for your boy if you're unhappy, unhealthy, depressed and desperate. And just to trot out the old stand-bys: this is a marathon, not a sprint; you didn't gain it in a week, you won't lose it in a week; this is a lifestyle change, not a diet.

Make the best choices you can as often as you can - and don't sweat the rest. Only sweat the sweat from a kick-*kitten* workout! You'll do great! :flowerforyou:

yo_andi

1. Get over it.

2. Admit to yourself that you're in it for the long haul and that that means you'll have good days and bad days.

3. Get over it.

4. Just keep doing it. Eventually it becomes a habit and you'll feel weird *not* doing healthy things all day long.

5. Get over it.

5a. Read http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/08/16/get-over-it/

and get over it!

sin485

Try drinking a glass of water every time that you feel the need to eat. You can do this!

i agree with this^^ i find a glass of water makes me feel full for a while. that and it is good for you. although it is hard to get into the habit of doing this or at least it was for me....i was so used to having tea or coffee all the time.

zyxst

Here's an ego boost for you:

You could look like me.

1. One day at a time. Log your food today. Just focus on today. If you can, take a walk today. Just focus on today.

2. Tomorrow re-do line one!

3. If you have a bad day, it's JUST a bad day. Go back and re-read line 1.

I am doing the same thing. For me, I'm not good at routines, so taking it one day at a time and being committed one day at a time is the key, I hope, to my success.

QFT

tahawairua

1. One day at a time. Log your food today. Just focus on today. If you can, take a walk today. Just focus on today.

2. Tomorrow re-do line one!

3. If you have a bad day, it's JUST a bad day. Go back and re-read line 1.

I am doing the same thing. For me, I'm not good at routines, so taking it one day at a time and being committed one day at a time is the key, I hope, to my success.

I like this! Yes do this! I will!

BeingAwesome247

I’m going to teach you a little trick today to instantly stop this behavior and allow you to continue down your path towards a leveled up life.

It’s called the “Get the over it” rule, and it’s sweeping the nation.

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/08/16/get-over-it/

Listen to this guy....he is AWESOME and amazing friend to have on here

Goal_Line

I eat because I feel like I need to in order to be happy. But in the same respect, I am so incredibly unhappy being the size that I am right now.

The long-term solution is behavior modification. You need to create healthy habits that make you happy. Notice i used the verb "create" not "find." Habits are something we build over time. At first it takes effort, eventually they become habits.

On the relationship with food front, I've found that using the MFP tool to evaluate the nutritional implications of my food choices has completely changed my relationship to food. It now is primarily a fuel for me rather the comfort. But this kind of mental reprogramming takes time, but it will happen if you stick to it.