Going to jail

xxnellie146xx

and the kicker...

A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

:laugh: now that makes perfect sense....smh

YoungDoc2B

Indiana: the value of pi is 3

Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 in ches long and 81 inches wide.

It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.

Baths may not be taken between October and March

From my specific city:

It is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.

horses7777

And, representingt the *great* state of North Carolina........

Before a man asks for a woman’s hand in marriage, he must be “inspected by all the barnyard animals on the young woman’s family’s property, to ensure a harmonious farm life.”

Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.

Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.

It is against the law for children under seven years of age to go to college.

It is illegal to sneeze on city streets.

It’s against the law to sing off key.

It’s illegal to sell cotton lint at night.

Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.

Kinda makes you want to move here, doesn't it?:noway:

LizziDouglas

English Laws which have never been changed and still are laws...


London hackney carriages must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats.
The London Hackney Carriage Laws have stayed the same for over a hundred years, and still apply to modern-day taxis. The oats and hay were for the horse, of course. Disputes still arise, and some firms have manufactured tiny bales of hay, so taxi drivers can stay within the law.

In London it has been illegal for a man to hit his wife after 9pm. Indeed, wife also needs some time for rest. This law is very humanistic.


Every man between 14 and 40 must practice archery for an hour every Sunday!

It is illegal to impersonate a Chelsea Pensioner.

It is an executable offense to allow your pet to mate with a pet of the royal house without permission.


It is illegal to leave your car keys in an unoccupied vehicle.

Suicide is a capital crime.

It is illegal to either shave or to mow your lawn on a Sunday.

Tarot card readings and fortune telling are illegal as these are classed as forms of witchcraft.

MrsWonderland

I called my mother and read her some of these we were laughing all the way through, then she shocked me with the law she breaks. I just couldnt believe this. But she washes her car with her old underwear. :noway: As I read that I was like aww come on no one would do that. Yep she said they make really good cloth. she dont even cut them so no one would know, :noway: :huh: :noway: :huh: Ok well If I did that I would atleast use something a bit sexier.

I could just imagine her washing her car and a friend walks by and she waves at them with her underwear. :laugh: :ohwell: :drinker:

monicalosesweight

These are federal laws in Canada:

· If you are released from prison, it is required that you are given a handgun with bullets and a horse, so you can ride out of town.

I wonder what they would do if you were released and demanded a horse and gun with bullets? I mean, wouldn't they be required, per the law to provide it?

lilmisfit

Here are some that I found for my state (Illinois)

Champaign, IL
One may not pee in his neighbor’s mouth. (Really? We need a LAW for this???:noway: )

Chicago, IL
Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe’s neck.
It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.

Crete IL
It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one’s dog.( I guess someone else's dog is ok, though? :huh: )

Des Plaines, IL
Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.

Evanston, IL
It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.

Galesburg, IL
No person may keep a smelly dog.
No bicyclist may practice “fancy riding” on any city street.
There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.

Kenilworth, IL
A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow.

Normal, IL
It is against the law to make faces at dogs.

Zion, IL
It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.

There's a lot of laws about dogs in Illinois....

FlyByJuly

In Oregon:

Babies may not be carried on the running boards of a car.
A door on a car may not be left open longer than is necessary.
Dishes must drip dry.
It is illegal to whisper “dirty” things in your lover’s ear during sex.
Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays. .
Juggling is strictly prohibited without a license.
It’s illegal to walk down a sidewalk and knock a snakes head off with your cane. (My personal favorite!)
You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.

tyrantduck

In New York (note: these do not all apply to NYC, but are in random cities/towns throughout the state)....

Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.

Steam powered railroads may not go faster than 6 miles per hour

The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

The State Senate passed a resolution to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the Brooklyn Dodgers’ 1955 world championship and expressed a longing that someday the Dodgers will return to “their one and only true home.”

Toilets be evenly divided among men and women in public theaters or arenas.

While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.

Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.

You can teach your pet parrot to speak, but not to squawk.

You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.

You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.

You need a permit to transport carbonated beverages.

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking “at a woman in that way.” A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a “pair of horse-blinders” wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.

A man can’t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.

A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.

Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.

Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs

During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.

Every business must have spitoons and clean them every 24 hours

Homeless people may not start a fire in the park unless they intend to cook food.

If one wishes to bathe in the city limits, they must be clothed in a “suitable bathing suit”

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun.

It is illegal for a father to call his son a “*kitten*” or “queer” in an effort to curb “girlie” behavior.

It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing”.

It is illegal to carry an open can of spray paint.

It is illegal to disrobe in a wagon.

It is illegal to jump off the Empire State building.

It is illegal to shine shoes after 1:00 on a Sunday afternoon

It is still illegal to shoot a rabbit from a moving trolley car.

It’s illegal to have a puppet show in your window and a violation can land you in jail for 30 days.

It’s illegal to shake a dust mop out a window.

It’s illegal to start any kind of public performance, show, play, game or what have you, until after 1:05 p.m.

It’s illegal to throw swill into the street.

Jaywalking is legal, as long as it’s not diagonal. That is, you can cross the street out of the crosswalk, but you can’t cross a street diagonally.

Members of nine New York Indian tribes are exempt from the city’s eight percent parking tax.

New Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences, unless they both agree to it.

stephanieb72

^^^^^ most of these had me laughing out loud!!!!