Be called fat and can't stop crying :'(

cinderella29292

A little about myself: i've had eating disorder since i was 13 ( i'm 20 now), started with anorexia, got down to 105lbs, then soon i turned bulimic and while trying to recover i just binged and got up to 130lbs at 5'3. I was so depressed and called fat all the time so i locked myself in my room which just made me want to eat more and not burn any calories to lose weight. Then one day i decided to change, i started to eat healthy, learn to love my body and enjoy going to the gym again. I'm now 112lbs but people wouldn't stop calling me fat... I'm at the gym today, working my butts off on the treadmill and this trainer came up to talk to me, then he told me my stomach is still so fat... Suddenly i felt so hard to keep myself up, i ran to the toilet and cried myself silly, being angry at him but more angry at myself that i would never be perfect or accepted.... Even though people do notice my weight loss and compliment, there are still many of them are so insensitive and always try to say things to bring me down... I know I shouldn't give in to their opinions but it's on my mind all the time and i can'y help feeling so insecure, miserable and worthless right now. It's like i'm either fat or i have to have an eating disorder to be thin. Its like a lose lose situation. I just can't win
Sorry this is such a long post..But i was just trying to let it all out...Hope that i can receive some good advice from some of you who has a better perspective to this at the moment because i feel so stuck in a rut... i really need your help! Thank you so much for caring to read

JordanSky26

Listen sweetheart, the trainer that said that to you today first of all was an *kitten*, second of all was probably only trying to get you to doubt yourself so you'd be interested in a private workout session with him/her. I'd love to be at your size 112 that would be my ideal weight. I want you to remember something life is going to be filled with nasty people who will most definitely knock you on your *kitten*. DO NOT LET THOSE PEOPLE DEFINE YOU. You had a good cry, now wipe your eyes and move forward.

tammyc226

What Jordan said.... That some good advice

Nicolee_2014

bump so I can read later

Marquism123

A little about myself: i've had eating disorder since i was 13 ( i'm 20 now), started with anorexia, got down to 105lbs, then soon i turned bulimic and while trying to recover i just binged and got up to 130lbs at 5'3. I was so depressed and called fat all the time so i locked myself in my room which just made me want to eat more and not burn any calories to lose weight. Then one day i decided to change, i started to eat healthy, learn to love my body and enjoy going to the gym again. I'm now 112lbs but people wouldn't stop calling me fat... I'm at the gym today, working my butts off on the treadmill and this trainer came up to talk to me, then he told me my stomach is still so fat... Suddenly i felt so hard to keep myself up, i ran to the toilet and cried myself silly, being angry at him but more angry at myself that i would never be perfect or accepted.... Even though people do notice my weight loss and compliment, there are still many of them are so insensitive and always try to say things to bring me down... I know I shouldn't give in to their opinions but it's on my mind all the time and i can'y help feeling so insecure, miserable and worthless right now. It's like i'm either fat or i have to have an eating disorder to be thin. Its like a lose lose situation. I just can't win
Sorry this is such a long post..But i was just trying to let it all out...Hope that i can receive some good advice from some of you who has a better perspective to this at the moment because i feel so stuck in a rut... i really need your help! Thank you so much for caring to read

I am sorry if I sound harsh but I seriously struggle to believe that multiple people are persisting in calling a 5'3" 112lb girl fat. That generally doesn't happen often, even to fat people. I think perhaps you need to speak to someone about self-esteem issues. Good luck

JaeDaKing

Don't worry about what people say! Don't let people decide what your happiness is. BE HAPPY! People would kill to be your weight. He is a *kitten* for even approaching you with his ignorant comment.

Kookyk9s

Find the manager of the gym - tell him/her what the trainer said to you -a gym is a business and no one in that business wants to lose customers. Demand an apology and stand up for yourself. So not let these idiots talk to you like this, It is unprofessional at the least. If you do not get an apology demand your money back and find another gym. Go to the media if you have to to get your money back. Fight for your self - you are so worth it no matter what your size or shape. This trainer is just a bully and this behavior does not have to be tolerated. This makes me MAD and you should get MAD about this not CRY.

SirKelsalot

Listen sweetheart, the trainer that said that to you today first of all was an *kitten*, second of all was probably only trying to get you to doubt yourself so you'd be interested in a private workout session with him/her. I'd love to be at your size 112 that would be my ideal weight. I want you to remember something life is going to be filled with nasty people who will most definitely knock you on your *kitten*. DO NOT LET THOSE PEOPLE DEFINE YOU. You had a good cry, now wipe your eyes and move forward.

What she ^^^ said. You can never get away from people who are nasty for whatever reason; they'll always find something to have a dig at. What you have control of is how you let them affect you. It's natural to be upset, but also remember that ultimately what other people say has no bearing whatsoever on you. Plus fatness is subjective - I guess I'm fat compared to, say, a training athlete at the gym. But then I'm probably thinner than many people who have yet to start on this journey. At 5"3 and 112 lbs, you're definitely not fat. Maybe you don't have much lean muscle yet, but you won't have much fat on you either. I smell a douchey trainer looking for a client with what could be described as the worst sales pitch ever.

barbie_g1rl

ur gorgeous ignore them and dont u dare cry missy xx

Kari089

I can imagine being in your situation and really being in a vulnerable place. This guy doesn't know anything about you and perhaps he was trying to get you to ask him for help in one on one lessons. However, that was extremely insensitive of him to say that about your body. He sounds like a jerk and honestly I would go to the manager and really let them know that you do not appreciate being spoken to in such a way. Specially when they don't know your issues with eating disorders and how it can affect you.

You will have days like these but every time you get up you will be stronger. Don't let these jerks win. Your body is your own and you have to love it no matter what. Be good to it, have your good cry and keep doing what you're doing. The jerk comments don't count for anything-it only matters what you think!

Gennacy

I really dont have any good advice, but you need to start believeing in yourself and being happy who you are! You shouldnt let these comments upset you, most people who hurl out abuse such as "your so fat" really are saying it to make themselves feel better.

Next time someone upsets you with their comments, hold your head high and remember how far you have come!Then look at them, see their flaws and be the better person and say nothing!

The gym guy was utterly insensitive, but maybe he doesnt know your story and was trying to help. Believe it or not, i am the sort of person who needed to be called fat before i did anything about it but i know thats not true for everyone, That said he should have handled you a hell of a lot more sensitively

Please keep your chin up, be positive and do this for yourself!

cinderella29292

Listen sweetheart, the trainer that said that to you today first of all was an *kitten*, second of all was probably only trying to get you to doubt yourself so you'd be interested in a private workout session with him/her. I'd love to be at your size 112 that would be my ideal weight. I want you to remember something life is going to be filled with nasty people who will most definitely knock you on your *kitten*. DO NOT LET THOSE PEOPLE DEFINE YOU. You had a good cry, now wipe your eyes and move forward.

Thank you so much Jordan that was so sweet of you :flowerforyou: I think you are right he'd probably just want me to feel insecure and then provide me with a solution that he "thinks" he has :grumble: I'm not gonna fall for that. I know i'm stronger now and the truth is no matter how good i am, i can't please everyone so rather please myself first then :ohwell: Still, it's so good to know there are people like you out there that actually have a beautiful

LilEmm

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I hope you share this w/ the gym manager & trainer.. I encourage you to visit a cognitive behavioral counselor AND to subscibe to Ms. Magaizne to get over the eating disorder, because you're not fat. Trust yourself You know you best and you're worth knowin.

Honestly, there's so much media pressure on women, it's a load o' bull****. Ladies, stand up and fight the back. We're supposed to have 18 - 25% body fat, minimum. Gay men are most of our fashion designers and sadly, too many of them want to put women's clothes on a flat chested, no hipped figure aka a twink. Sad, but true! lol. yeah, sounds outregeous, but but it's true!.

I'm so TIRED of women dealing with the constant pressure of what we "should" be. It's crazy train. Sis, it's easy to be at a healthy weight, it's hard, sometimes, to deal with all the a-holes who tell you what to do. Guess what? Our critics don't define us. So be bold, and go elsewhere! Peace.

LilEmm

Oh,
and tell your trainer to eat ****. Speak up, don't throw up! Love ya mucho~

jen10st

Ok first of all at 5'3 and 112 you are definitely not fat! I agree with the others who've said you should complain to the manager of the gym as that instructor was way out of order, if you don't feel strong enough to do it alone is there someone you can take with you for support when you complain? Eating disorders are a serious illness and so hard for anyone to deal with alone. I'd ssuggest going to see your doctor and getting some counseling to help you overcome this and help you become strong. Good luck and ont let others put you down you are too good for that x

abibt

*Hug*As an ex-disordered eater, please don't equate feeling thin with feeling happy, worthwhile, in control and attractive. They are all available to you and are your right as a human, regardless of how many pounds your body weighs, and when you feel those things, they will shine out and shape how people see you, just as people we love always look lovely to us. Eat healthy and stay sane and balanced and keep people who give toxic feedback well out of your life. That trainer was unprofessional and ignorant. Do your own work and nurture yourself - your body needs some love from you. Hang in there.

SirKelsalot

*Hug*As an ex-disordered eater, please don't equate feeling thin with feeling happy, worthwhile, in control and attractive. They are all available to you and are your right as a human, regardless of how many pounds your body weighs, and when you feel those things, they will shine out and shape how people see you, just as people we love always look lovely to us. Eat healthy and stay sane and balanced and keep people who give toxic feedback well out of your life. That trainer was unprofessional and ignorant. Do your own work and nurture yourself - your body needs some love from you. Hang in there.

This!

BeautyFromPain

A little about myself: i've had eating disorder since i was 13 ( i'm 20 now), started with anorexia, got down to 105lbs, then soon i turned bulimic and while trying to recover i just binged and got up to 130lbs at 5'3. I was so depressed and called fat all the time so i locked myself in my room which just made me want to eat more and not burn any calories to lose weight. Then one day i decided to change, i started to eat healthy, learn to love my body and enjoy going to the gym again. I'm now 112lbs but people wouldn't stop calling me fat... I'm at the gym today, working my butts off on the treadmill and this trainer came up to talk to me, then he told me my stomach is still so fat... Suddenly i felt so hard to keep myself up, i ran to the toilet and cried myself silly, being angry at him but more angry at myself that i would never be perfect or accepted.... Even though people do notice my weight loss and compliment, there are still many of them are so insensitive and always try to say things to bring me down... I know I shouldn't give in to their opinions but it's on my mind all the time and i can'y help feeling so insecure, miserable and worthless right now. It's like i'm either fat or i have to have an eating disorder to be thin. Its like a lose lose situation. I just can't win
Sorry this is such a long post..But i was just trying to let it all out...Hope that i can receive some good advice from some of you who has a better perspective to this at the moment because i feel so stuck in a rut... i really need your help! Thank you so much for caring to read

I am sorry if I sound harsh but I seriously struggle to believe that multiple people are persisting in calling a 5'3" 112lb girl fat. That generally doesn't happen often, even to fat people. I think perhaps you need to speak to someone about self-esteem issues. Good luck

Especially a trainer at a gym!

cinderella29292

A little about myself: i've had eating disorder since i was 13 ( i'm 20 now), started with anorexia, got down to 105lbs, then soon i turned bulimic and while trying to recover i just binged and got up to 130lbs at 5'3. I was so depressed and called fat all the time so i locked myself in my room which just made me want to eat more and not burn any calories to lose weight. Then one day i decided to change, i started to eat healthy, learn to love my body and enjoy going to the gym again. I'm now 112lbs but people wouldn't stop calling me fat... I'm at the gym today, working my butts off on the treadmill and this trainer came up to talk to me, then he told me my stomach is still so fat... Suddenly i felt so hard to keep myself up, i ran to the toilet and cried myself silly, being angry at him but more angry at myself that i would never be perfect or accepted.... Even though people do notice my weight loss and compliment, there are still many of them are so insensitive and always try to say things to bring me down... I know I shouldn't give in to their opinions but it's on my mind all the time and i can'y help feeling so insecure, miserable and worthless right now. It's like i'm either fat or i have to have an eating disorder to be thin. Its like a lose lose situation. I just can't win
Sorry this is such a long post..But i was just trying to let it all out...Hope that i can receive some good advice from some of you who has a better perspective to this at the moment because i feel so stuck in a rut... i really need your help! Thank you so much for caring to read

I am sorry if I sound harsh but I seriously struggle to believe that multiple people are persisting in calling a 5'3" 112lb girl fat. That generally doesn't happen often, even to fat people. I think perhaps you need to speak to someone about self-esteem issues. Good luck

This is true, maybe not so in the states but believe me, this happens very often where i live (in asia where most people just comment on other's appearance so liberately without any considerations)... It was wayyy worse when i got back from australia and weighed 130lbs... i was so afraid to visit my relatives and friends because of the thoughts of them talking about my weight gain... I have always had low self-esteem one way or another and being a perfectionist on top of that is a recipe for my eating disorder. I tried to get help and talked to my parents but they never seem to care much maybe they just think it's not that serious. Sometimes I feel so scared this would consume my life but at the same time i don't want to get out of it because it's the coping mechanism i've been using for so long...

sam308lbs

you have any idea how many women here would kill to be 112 lbs? you are not fat..you are gorgeous and you have an amazing smile.Dont let anyone get to you.Be healthy because you wanna feel great not to please others.Those who really care for you would love you regardless of your size and those are the people whose opinion should matter to you not some trainer.

benny_jack

What jen10 said. If you are at the gym working on your fitness you do not need this negative "encouragement" as you are already doing the right thing. If the manager doesn't care that you have been abused like this, you are definitely at the wrong gym. A gym is a business and if you are not getting the treatment you deserve you can shop around and take your money elsewhere.

Don't let anybody tell you you aren't as beautiful as you are.

Also, some guys will be like that just to try and get laid, because some book on picking up they read said it works. He might even be interested in you, just doesn't know how to be a real man and treat a woman right. He sure as hell doesn't deserve you.

bazfitness

I have mixed feelings about this. I can relate because I went through depression in my teens over what I can see in hindsight were silly issues. You are not fat whatsoever, let's make that clear! You do have self esteem issues, that can be changed and tbh one way of doing that is not to focus on yourself, we are all imperfect in one way or another, it's time to stop running away crying NOW - just let these comments insults go over your head, they have a lot more to do with the person making the comment than anything to do with ourselves!

On a serious note - your self esteem issues although they seem grave to you are really nothing - be thankful you have your health - there are people with real serious problems like cancer and other terminal issues, picture this what if you were told you might have some serious illness, only for a day or 2 later that no you don't you're in the clear, think of the relief that that situation would bring and now be STRONG and start making your own path in life and not be dictated by the whimsical comments of others!

LilEmm

I have mixed feelings about this. I can relate because I went through depression in my teens over what I can see in hindsight were silly issues. You are not fat whatsoever, let's make that clear! You do have self esteem issues, that can be changed and tbh one way of doing that is not to focus on yourself, we are all imperfect in one way or another, it's time to stop running away crying NOW - just let these comments insults go over your head, they have a lot more to do with the person making the comment than anything to do with ourselves!

On a serious note - your self esteem issues although they seem grave to you are really nothing - be thankful you have your health - there are people with real serious problems like cancer and other terminal issues, picture this what if you were told you might have some serious illness, only for a day or 2 later that no you don't you're in the clear, think of the relief that that situation would bring and now be STRONG and start making your own path in life and not be dictated by the whimsical comments of others!

YES!

Tickateeboo

So what did he actually say? Did he actually use the word 'fat'? Or is this your own interpretation of the situation.

Tell us his exact words...

BeautyFromPain

please can i get you to do something for me?
these videos absolutely changed my outlook on how i viewed myself.. please watch them!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdWdi8Hl2Tc&list=LLm5ciS1k3VvsLeoPX8Uf08g&feature=mh_lolz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta6VKMWG9IU&feature=BFa&list=LLm5ciS1k3VvsLeoPX8Uf08g

yoyogirl68

Listen sweetheart, the trainer that said that to you today first of all was an *kitten*, second of all was probably only trying to get you to doubt yourself so you'd be interested in a private workout session with him/her. I'd love to be at your size 112 that would be my ideal weight. I want you to remember something life is going to be filled with nasty people who will most definitely knock you on your *kitten*. DO NOT LET THOSE PEOPLE DEFINE YOU. You had a good cry, now wipe your eyes and move forward.

Ditto. What an *kitten*. Find a new gym.

amycruse23

Thats rediculous, how can you be fat ??? i'd love to be your size!!!

http://www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Healthyweightcalculator.aspx

This webite proves it!!

Dudagarcia

Listen sweetheart, the trainer that said that to you today first of all was an *kitten*, second of all was probably only trying to get you to doubt yourself so you'd be interested in a private workout session with him/her. I'd love to be at your size 112 that would be my ideal weight. I want you to remember something life is going to be filled with nasty people who will most definitely knock you on your *kitten*. DO NOT LET THOSE PEOPLE DEFINE YOU. You had a good cry, now wipe your eyes and move forward.

^^^ I agree

JesterMFP

Nobody is perfect, literally nobody. If you're constantly chasing perfection, you'll always be disappointed. You're an attractive woman, and at your height, you're a healthy weight (towards the low end of that range). You can't control what other people might say to you, and unfortunately there are plenty of a***holes out there with the potential to try and make you feel bad. All you can control is your reaction to them. Why give them the satisfaction of getting upset? You're not fat. That's fact, and somebody calling you fat doesn't make it so.

Did the trainer actually say the words "your stomach is still so fat"? If so, then he's an idiot. Obviously, he has a lot to learn about his job. Get a new trainer. You say people around you won't stop calling you fat. I would say, either you're surrounding yourself with the wrong people, and need to find more supportive friends, or maybe your self-esteem is so bad that your perception is kind of geared towards hearing the worst. People can be insensitive and clumsy with their words, it doesn't necessarily mean they're trying to put you down or that they think you're fat or unattractive. When you stop listening out for the criticism, you might stop hearing it so much.

If your self-esteem and self-worth is so dependent on being "perfect", or other people accepting you, then there is nothing that you can do to your body that's going to change that. You need to change it from within. You've been underweight, and you've been a bit bigger (130 lbs is still a healthy weight for 5'3"). So, there's been no magic number on the scale that has solved all your problems, has there? Honestly, I would stop trying to lose weight, focus on fitness if that makes you feel good, but try to work on your self-worth and confidence from the inside out.

hazelovesfood

Take no notice, some people are obssessed with being stick thin and not a ounce of fat on them, its people like that , that make us normal people develop probelms with food, always trying to be something we are not, screw him i say.

dlegros

Nobody is perfect, literally nobody. If you're constantly chasing perfection, you'll always be disappointed. You're an attractive woman, and at your height, you're a healthy weight (towards the low end of that range). You can't control what other people might say to you, and unfortunately there are plenty of a***holes out there with the potential to try and make you feel bad. All you can control is your reaction to them. Why give them the satisfaction of getting upset? You're not fat. That's fact, and somebody calling you fat doesn't make it so.

I was beaten to it here...

You can never be perfect, I can never be perfect - in fact, what the heck IS perfect?

One person's ideal is completely different to the next.

All you can be is honest with yourself and be the best you that you can be.

We all have days when we look in the mirror and feel a wide range of emotions - I have certainly felt shame, disgust, self-loathing and all-sorts, but taking control of your life and your body helps with that.

I would add to the growing voice that you should speak to the gym manager about the trainer, that was way out of order.

Don't listen to the voices of doubters and people that want to fill you with negativity - just come on here instead.

Don't :sad: be :laugh: