Be called fat and can't stop crying :'(
Replies
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What an insensitive and unprofessional trainer you have....ditch him/her!!! You have done amazingly well so far, especially in light of having eating disorder, so give yourself a huge pat on the back!!
Keep positive, believe in yourself, and remember there is really no such thing as perfection!0 -
Your biggest struggle will be the one inside yourself. You have to learn to love YOU not the size you are.
My aunt was a little overweight, not obese just "chunky" as everyone called her. They teased her constantly just because it got her so riled up. She became anorexic, refusing to eat anything. This went on for years, and her body image kept her from ever living a normal life.
The anorexia killed her. No dramatics there, she is no longer living because of how she felt about herself. No heart attack, no stroke, no bus, just hated herself right into the ground. The day she died she was 6'2" and 65 lbs. and that very morning she was seen looking in the mirror trying to pinch her stomach fat and hating how she looked. She STILL saw herself as big, no matter how small she got because it was stuck in her head that she would never be perfect.
Don't let others do this to you, you are beautiful, you are capable, and you are alive.0 -
I'm so sorry to hear about your struggle. You are totally at a healthy weight and like the other posters said, toward the low end of the healthy range. I'm wondering if meeting with a therapist to work on your self-esteem might be helpful? Therapy can be a great place for learning about yourself and becoming the person you want to be. Just a suggestion based on my own personal experience.0
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First off you are not fat and agree the trainer is an *kitten*!!! You are beautiful inside and out! Secondly, I applaud your wanting to become healthy and overcome your eating disorder.
Stay strong and embrace yourself for who you are, where you are going, and getting healthy! Tell all those others to kiss off!!!0 -
Dearie..... I'm much older.... and will share this advice. Love yourself...... Love yourself... like you would love a baby...... Now..... if you are 112 pounds... you are not fat ........ end of discussion... I wish you could have the confidence at 20 that I have acquired .. now 62. Tell that trainer guy... to step off..... You should hold your head high... look as beautiful as you are.... and don't pay attention to anyone who calls you fat when you are not.. You have other fish to fry.... Maintain your beauty... in a healthy way.... set some other goals.... like a career move..... or fundraising, helping others.... and let the world be your oyster...... Don't be afraid to have friends in ALL age groups.... because life experiences will vary and can help you. One thing about bullies..... they love to see you cry.......Laugh at the bully and the bully cries....... :flowerforyou:0
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Sounds like you need to move.0
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It is horrible to think that at 112 lbs, 5'3", you would be called "fat."
But honestly, if they see that as fat, their perception has serious issues! Don't you cry over a trainer who doesn't have enough intelligence to warrant your tears over anything he says... Go over and complain to the gym manager, and if it doesn't bring about an apology from the trainer, change your gym.
As for multiple people calling you fat - how about telling them you are at a healthy weight? Don't accept what people tell you. Respond to them, and accept only what you know to be true. Wipe your tears, dress up and feel pretty!0 -
What an *kitten*!! Use this person's insensitivity to STRENGTHEN you...not weaken you!!
Instead of focusing on the negative, feelings of inadequacy, and trying to please everyone else, shift your self-talk and attitude to
POWER! STRENGTH! FITNESS!
Eat healthy to fuel your body, lift heavy and build those muscles, strength train and some cardio....try some different classes for agility, flexibility, health and power! YOU are the master of YOUR house and NOBODY can take that away from you!!
There will always be people who are jealous of others' successes, mostly because they wish they can do the same for themselves, but that is THEIR problem, not yours! If they really wanted it, they'd go out and GET IT! Just like YOU ARE!!
Keep going and do what works for YOU and nobody else! NO ONE can ever take this away from you!!0 -
The gym guy was utterly insensitive, but maybe he doesnt know your story and was trying to help.
But if she's 112 lbs at 5'3, she's at the lower end of the heathly weight scale...at 5'3, she would have to weigh over 140 lbs before she would be overweight by a doctor's judgement. She was a healthy weight even at 130. So for a trainer - who should have gone through extensive training to get the certification for that job - to tell someone who ISN'T overweight, and could gain 25 lbs and STILL not be overweight that she is fat is unheard of.
But given the history of anorexia and the weight-focus that goes with it, is it possible that he was either 1) being facetious in response to something she said, like her expressing a concern about being overweight, and him seeing that she obviously isn't, saying the opposite of what he means - a sarcastic comment, in otherwords or 2) said something else, and with the background noise of running on the treadmill and other people in the gym, she misinterpreted it to reflect the anxiety already on her mind.0 -
That trainer should be fired and have his/her certification revoked. Trainers are supposed to help and inspire.
My trainer looks like a shorter version Michael Clark Duncan. Never once has he been anything but helpful and motivating.0 -
This is true, maybe not so in the states but believe me, this happens very often where i live (in asia where most people just comment on other's appearance so liberately without any considerations)... It was wayyy worse when i got back from australia and weighed 130lbs... i was so afraid to visit my relatives and friends because of the thoughts of them talking about my weight gain...A little about myself: i've had eating disorder since i was 13 ( i'm 20 now), started with anorexia, got down to 105lbs, then soon i turned bulimic and while trying to recover i just binged and got up to 130lbs at 5'3. I was so depressed and called fat all the time so i locked myself in my room which just made me want to eat more and not burn any calories to lose weight. Then one day i decided to change, i started to eat healthy, learn to love my body and enjoy going to the gym again. I'm now 112lbs but people wouldn't stop calling me fat... I'm at the gym today, working my butts off on the treadmill and this trainer came up to talk to me, then he told me my stomach is still so fat... Suddenly i felt so hard to keep myself up, i ran to the toilet and cried myself silly, being angry at him but more angry at myself that i would never be perfect or accepted.... Even though people do notice my weight loss and compliment, there are still many of them are so insensitive and always try to say things to bring me down... I know I shouldn't give in to their opinions but it's on my mind all the time and i can'y help feeling so insecure, miserable and worthless right now. It's like i'm either fat or i have to have an eating disorder to be thin. Its like a lose lose situation. I just can't win
Sorry this is such a long post..But i was just trying to let it all out...Hope that i can receive some good advice from some of you who has a better perspective to this at the moment because i feel so stuck in a rut... i really need your help! Thank you so much for caring to read
I am sorry if I sound harsh but I seriously struggle to believe that multiple people are persisting in calling a 5'3" 112lb girl fat. That generally doesn't happen often, even to fat people. I think perhaps you need to speak to someone about self-esteem issues. Good luck I have always had low self-esteem one way or another and being a perfectionist on top of that is a recipe for my eating disorder. I tried to get help and talked to my parents but they never seem to care much maybe they just think it's not that serious. Sometimes I feel so scared this would consume my life but at the same time i don't want to get out of it because it's the coping mechanism i've been using for so long...
At first I agreed that there can't be that many people saying you're fat, since I'm bigger than you and nobody says I'm fat, but knowing you live in Asia I can believe it, I had an Asian woman call me the "chubby girl" at the place I worked, so man that must be rough! Not everyone can be so tiny like a lot of Asian women, what matters I guess is if you feel good about your weight.0 -
I've been a trainer for a while now... That trainer's a deusche bag and should have the *kitten* slapped out of him. That's the nice version
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Id tell management about the trainer. if you arent paying for his/her input, dont listen to it. trainer or not it is rude to tell somebody that theyre fat. Very unprofessional.
Also 112# isnt fat. im only 4'8" and im not fat at 119#.
just keep plugging away and dont let a$$hats get you down darling 0 -
wtf?! thats rediculous, dont let anyone bring you down. as corny as that is. i think you need to learn to love yourself. look at you! youre so beautiful! once you are secure with yourself words like this will become meaningless. (its a long journey though)
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REALLY, what a total -insert the most vulgar word you can think of-, dont listen to people like that you KNOW you are doing great, if people tell you you are fat then is it jealousy or some twisted thing of making themselves feel good. Dont let anyone bring you down.0
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You are beyond beautiful your stunning I'm not a Lez haha but I would, give anything to look like u your not fat he is a nob hope u get over this because I would swap body's with u in a second bg smiles sweetie x0
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5'3" 112 is TINY. Nothing remotely fat. Honestly, i can't even imagine anyone saying that to you. Please, please, please blow it off.0
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I think some people are jealous. Don't let someones hateful comments ruin your health. Honestly I would love to be your height and weight. There is a different to being "fat" and curvy. One of my idols (weight wise) is Marilyn Monroe and she was no skinny girl but men LOVED her for her size. Don't give up. Some people are just born mean.0
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I find this difficult to believe.0
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Listen sweetheart, the trainer that said that to you today first of all was an *kitten*, second of all was probably only trying to get you to doubt yourself so you'd be interested in a private workout session with him/her. I'd love to be at your size 112 that would be my ideal weight. I want you to remember something life is going to be filled with nasty people who will most definitely knock you on your *kitten*. DO NOT LET THOSE PEOPLE DEFINE YOU. You had a good cry, now wipe your eyes and move forward.
this is a great response..all true. That damn trainer is an idiot though and obviously blind cause you are a beauty0 -
I think you need to change gyms.. What trainer, or person for that matter, would actually say that to someone, especially if they wanted that person's business. Based on your stats, you aren't fat, in fact you may be a little underweight for someone of that height. I say forget the haters and live your life for you! You have to do this for yourself, and yourself only. That trainer is an as*****! Look at how far you've come from where you were-- You have overcome struggles that some of us can't even fathom (bulimia, anorexia). Keep that in mind the next time someone tries to get you down.0
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Find the manager of the gym - tell him/her what the trainer said to you -a gym is a business and no one in that business wants to lose customers. Demand an apology and stand up for yourself. So not let these idiots talk to you like this, It is unprofessional at the least. If you do not get an apology demand your money back and find another gym. Go to the media if you have to to get your money back. Fight for your self - you are so worth it no matter what your size or shape. This trainer is just a bully and this behavior does not have to be tolerated. This makes me MAD and you should get MAD about this not CRY.
THIS.
But- Don't get down.
Don't get mad.
DO get even.
Think POWER (taking control, setting standards as to how you as a woman WILL be treated, and establishing consequences for bad treatment),
NOT PATHETIC (which is seeking rescue, pity-poor-tiny-me, infantile/juvenile status.) .
If you don't think small can be powerful- hike into a marsh without mosquito repellent. ;-)
BE STRONG!0 -
Listen sweetheart, the trainer that said that to you today first of all was an *kitten*, second of all was probably only trying to get you to doubt yourself so you'd be interested in a private workout session with him/her. I'd love to be at your size 112 that would be my ideal weight. I want you to remember something life is going to be filled with nasty people who will most definitely knock you on your *kitten*. DO NOT LET THOSE PEOPLE DEFINE YOU. You had a good cry, now wipe your eyes and move forward.
this is a great response..all true. That damn trainer is an idiot though and obviously blind cause you are a beauty
I agree your very pretty lady.0 -
Personally if a trainer said I was fat it would either be the last day that trainer works there or the last day I am a customer at that gym. Trainers are hired by the gym to work with their customers to get fit. I do not think the gym would appreciate one of their customers complain that one of their employees calling them fat. To me that sounds like a cause of terminating the employment of the trainer if a customer complains that they were called fat by said trainer.
I do not know if you can do anything now but maybe it's time for you to find a new gym. Take a look around and you'll find a gym that has professional trainers who care about their customers and their needs.0 -
A little about myself: i've had eating disorder since i was 13 ( i'm 20 now), started with anorexia, got down to 105lbs, then soon i turned bulimic and while trying to recover i just binged and got up to 130lbs at 5'3. I was so depressed and called fat all the time so i locked myself in my room which just made me want to eat more and not burn any calories to lose weight. Then one day i decided to change, i started to eat healthy, learn to love my body and enjoy going to the gym again. I'm now 112lbs but people wouldn't stop calling me fat... I'm at the gym today, working my butts off on the treadmill and this trainer came up to talk to me, then he told me my stomach is still so fat... Suddenly i felt so hard to keep myself up, i ran to the toilet and cried myself silly, being angry at him but more angry at myself that i would never be perfect or accepted.... Even though people do notice my weight loss and compliment, there are still many of them are so insensitive and always try to say things to bring me down... I know I shouldn't give in to their opinions but it's on my mind all the time and i can'y help feeling so insecure, miserable and worthless right now. It's like i'm either fat or i have to have an eating disorder to be thin. Its like a lose lose situation. I just can't win
Sorry this is such a long post..But i was just trying to let it all out...Hope that i can receive some good advice from some of you who has a better perspective to this at the moment because i feel so stuck in a rut... i really need your help! Thank you so much for caring to read
Consider the source, dear. Anyone who tries to make you feel badly about yourself is an arsehole. Don't let people control what YOU think of you. Only you can do that, remember.0 -
I'm sorry that people are saying that to you. 112lbs is not fat. However, I can't help but wonder if you're saying things to them like "my butt is so big" or "my stomach is so fat" and they are responding to that. It's entirely possible that everyone is just randomly targeting you because you're not fat so they're calling you fat. But its more possible that you are making negative comments about yourself and they aren't responding the way you would like. If that is the case, I bet if you quit pointing out the areas of your body you don't like, either will they.0
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Don't be hurt, be insulted. Demand an apology and removal of this trainer from the gym. As a woman you define your own life and how you allow yourself to be treated.0
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I would be having a word with the manager first off, and making a complaint about the trainer, he sounds like an *kitten*
Then I would be putting things into perspective. 5'3 and 112lbs isnt fat
Learn to love yourself,0 -
Dearie..... I'm much older.... and will share this advice. Love yourself...... Love yourself... like you would love a baby...... Now..... if you are 112 pounds... you are not fat ........ end of discussion... I wish you could have the confidence at 20 that I have acquired .. now 62. Tell that trainer guy... to step off..... You should hold your head high... look as beautiful as you are.... and don't pay attention to anyone who calls you fat when you are not.. You have other fish to fry.... Maintain your beauty... in a healthy way.... set some other goals.... like a career move..... or fundraising, helping others.... and let the world be your oyster...... Don't be afraid to have friends in ALL age groups.... because life experiences will vary and can help you. One thing about bullies..... they love to see you cry.......Laugh at the bully and the bully cries....... :flowerforyou:
You sound like Captain Kirk0 -
I find this difficult to believe.
And this.0
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