Not everyone eats like me... :(
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To sort of reiterate what the others were saying, I think you have a couple different options.
The first thing, is yes, if you're the cook in the family, then you get to choose what groceries are bought and what meals are served. I do not make separate meals for my hubby and kids, but rather make meals with options. For example, I'll make turkey chili (everyone likes) and I'll eat mine with a side salad, and the rest of the family may add cheese, sour cream or tortilla chips. Or, I'll make tacos and have all my toppings on a bed of greens (which I love) and they'll have theirs in shells. If I make pasta sauce, I'll serve mine over spaghetti squash (again, which I love) and they will have theirs on regular pasta. With that in mind, I don't COOK anything I won't eat. If they want something else, it has to come out of a box or a bag or they have to cook it themselves.
Second, there are some delicious ways to make healthy food. Check out Cooking Light magazine or website or skinnytaste.com. You can bake a lot of the things that are typically fried, including "fried" chicken and baked fries. I'll bet you'll find a ton of options that everyone will like.
For me the trick is to eat less of the "filler" like pasta and breads, and focus more on the veggies. I eat pizza and all kinds of regular foods, but make sure at least half my plate is fruit and/or veg. You gotta make your menu fit your lifestyle and preferences, because otherwise it will always be a temporary fix.0 -
Have you tried converting the unhealthy stuff they like into something that you can eat and they'll still like? For example, make "oven fried chicken" instead of frying chicken the traditional way, etc. Something to consider.
I used to make oven fried chicken a lot, and it can be quite good. This might be a good suggestion for you.0 -
So very frustrating for you, I'm sure. As if weight loss wasn't hard enough you're being doled out extra temptation. Have you tried sitting your entire family down and explaining to them just what having to make all their favorite fried foods does to you? Maybe also share with them the reasons you want to lose weight. It might help them understand just how important this is to you. Our loved ones have a tendency to look past our excess pounds because they love us and don't typically see "unhealthy" when they look at us. Ask them for their input. This will sort of gently force them to get on board with your efforts and who knows - maybe you'll inspire the others to make healthy changes too! Best of luck!0
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I can completely understand how you feel. We come from a family that loves to eat. It is our way of showing love. Dealing with the guilt when they are unhappy can make it very hard emotionally. I had to just realize that I have to love me too. Now I cook like most of the advice on here suggests. Getting creative and swapping ingredients can make a big difference. On Sundays, my husband traditionally cooks our family pancakes from scratch. Using a whole wheat flour, using splenda instead of sugar really cuts down on the calories and I recently discovered blue agave which really helps me not miss regular syrup. Hang in there and just give things time. It takes 20 days to form a new habit.0
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So, fry your chicken, just don't do the breading (maybe throw some shredded cheese on), and use a good oil to fry, not some crappy canola. And serve greens for the side, steamed or fresh. If your folks can't live without grains, serve them grains or potato separately. You will be a slender goddess in no time, and your family will eat with you & rave about food. Win-win.
Dunno about other men, but when my husband heard that we are gonna eat meats, good fats and vegetables he thought he married the right girl. Honestly, after starving myself into sickness with whole grains and low fat yogurts and a few shreds of skinless breasts, I don't mind that either.0 -
We have always worked on the "I'm not a short order cook" principle in my house. I only make one meal. That said
- if I make something and it sucks, there's always some fruit, cheese and wholegrain crackers
- we get healthy cookbooks and my 12-yr-old daughter helps me choose recipes she thinks sound good
- my daughter helps me cook when there's time and she's interested
- whenever we make a new dish, we all rate it and we decide whether it goes into regular rotation or doesn't get made again
- I tell my daughter and husband that I need their help and support and they're welcome to eat whatever they'd like when we're out but when we're home, I need them to be trying new recipes and leaving the junk in the store
Luckily, we've been feeding our daughter a real variety of food since she was little so there's very little she won't eat or at least try and since I've gone vegetarian, my daughter's actually decided to join me. Hubby is still hanging onto his meat at lunch and when we're out but he's totally supportive otherwise and they're both loving the veg dishes we're cooking.
p.s. changing existing recipes works as well - I have a crockpot Indian butter chicken recipe that we all love and since we were missing it, last night I substituted chickpeas for the chicken and it was sooo good. so now we have one of our fave recipe back, just with a twist 0 -
Same here. I end up cooking what I want to cook. I HAVE to.
The reason I gained weight in the first place was because I ate what the family wanted to eat. Now I call the shots and my kids eat what I make or they go to bed hungry.
My SO can make something on her own if she doesn't like it. It may seem harsh at times, but honestly it IS life and death decisions we make when we decide what to eat!0 -
I also have converted many of our favorites to healtier versions. The internet abounds with information and recipes! Are you on Pinterest? I have found lots of awesome healthy recipes there.
I also made slow and subtle changes to allow them to adjust and tried to not throw too many new things at them at once.
At the same time, I have a husband and six children to cook for. I can't please all of them all the time. When I'm planning menus for the week, I take suggestions. I try to include a variety at each meal. But once I've shopped and cooked the meal, the choices are "eat it or be hungry."0 -
I think you are making this situation more difficult than it needs to be.
Who are the other people you are cooking for? Husband? Children?
If it's a man, I'm sure he will eat what you put in front of him. If he is really picky, put on a low cut shirt, serve him his dinner, and that should do the trick.0 -
I am the only one in my family of four that eats the way I am eating. I mean my kids have the same dairy and fruits, but they don't like veggies or salads or anything and my husband is still eating junk food all the time. So what I do is buy what I need for a couple of weeks and then buy the rest of stuff for the family. I highly doubt you eat as much as they eat so it wouldn't be two different grocery sets...more like a 1 and a half. Anyways, I eat what I want all day since my hubby works and then dinner is a compromise. We both like chicken and turkey, so I do that as the main dish then he can have whatever he wants on the side and I eat my salad or veggies.
I also make sure he knows what I won't eat, so yeah we always have two different types of bread, tortillas, and snacks in the house, but I am not willing to give in to his bad habits. When I cook dinner, he can either eat it or not! He has the choice to cook or eat something that he wants if he doesn't want what I made. It's up to him really.0 -
it took my family some time to adjust to the new 'menu' but I Kept offering the healthy choices and soon they came around. although I try to offer somethings that may not be in my menu anymore for them and i practice self controll its all about ballance 0
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In my opinion, whoever cooks that night makes whatever they want. I'm usually the one to cook and I try to make foods that we both will like and are healthy. But in the end, if you don't like what the cook is making then make your own damn food. However, when I have kids they will be eating what I make or nothing @ all until they are old enough to do it themselves.0
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Well, your household may not be set up like mine but the kids eat what's put on the table or nothing at all. No fixing their own stuff or hitting the snacks. They dont eat, they dont get a snack later either (this is the older kids, my 22 month old gets exceptions but she eats anything!) Now that seems harsh but that's what has to be done not only for your own health but theirs as well. Luckily, my husband eats whatever is put on the table but I do know that some husbands are not that easy.
^^^ LOVE this! That's called "parenting" and not enough people do it any more.
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Im in that boat.. Its not that they don't want to eat like me, they really need calories. Both my kids are only in the 10th percentile for weight (they're 7 and almost 5) and their pedi told me to keep food out for them at all times so they can snack all day. My husband is 5'8 and 138lb so he really needs to eat too. If they eat what i do, they don't eat enough calories. I essentially have to cook double everyday because of this.0
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If you want to "turn the household" do it slowly but just not totally!
start adding more veggies in a bolognese or lasagne as well as the other stuff for instance swap 1 thing a month and you will get there!
good luck x0 -
Well, your household may not be set up like mine but the kids eat what's put on the table or nothing at all. No fixing their own stuff or hitting the snacks. They dont eat, they dont get a snack later either (this is the older kids, my 22 month old gets exceptions but she eats anything!) Now that seems harsh but that's what has to be done not only for your own health but theirs as well. Luckily, my husband eats whatever is put on the table but I do know that some husbands are not that easy.
This is how I was raised, and I don't think my upbringing was harsh at all. We were expected to eat what was put in front of us -- especially when we were visiting other people's homes. Whining about it wasn't allowed either.0 -
I went through this exact same thing at the start of my weight loss adventure, it is still an ongoing thing but not as much. I have tried to stay flexible with what I buy and cook however the rule of the house is:
If I am buying the food, and I am cooking the food, you best be eating what's put on the table or go hungry.
Hubby eats like a horse with tapeworm, but at least he is eating healthier foods (whole grain breads, pasta, etc) leaner meats, more poultry, less pork and beef (as long as there is meat on his plate he is happy.) The kids whined at first, but since neither felt like cooking or buying their own food out of their weekly paycheck they shut up eventually.
Just figure out what it is you want, explain to the people in your life as nicely as possible what it is you are looking for in terms of food support, and then explain to them what you are going to do and then do it. There will be groaning and gnashing of teeth, but ignore it. They'll adjust - or starve >.>0 -
You make the food, You make the Menu Are your kids old enough to make themselves food? If not then tell them they have no Choice. Hubby don't like it, tell him to Pick up something while he's out. lol. Maybe I'm kind of a brat that way. There were some good suggestions on here though. Making the things you like, in a healthier version. You have options, you can do it! good luck! 0
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Well, your household may not be set up like mine but the kids eat what's put on the table or nothing at all. No fixing their own stuff or hitting the snacks. They dont eat, they dont get a snack later either (this is the older kids, my 22 month old gets exceptions but she eats anything!) Now that seems harsh but that's what has to be done not only for your own health but theirs as well. Luckily, my husband eats whatever is put on the table but I do know that some husbands are not that easy.
^^^ LOVE this! That's called "parenting" and not enough people do it any more.
Very different parenting style to let your kids starve. My grandma used to do that, but it's NOT for me. If they don't like spinach mixed in with their ground beef (one of the meals my son didn't like) then he is smart enough and independent enough to find some healthy food that he does like. Starving is just as bad as filling up on sugar, in my opinion.0 -
I agree with most of the posters above. If you're the one in charge of food purchasing and preparation, it's your call. Also, for your kids, getting used to healthy food and realistic portion sizes will be good for them in the long run. Though they might not be happy about it now, it'll make them a lot more likely to eat well as adults and not have to deal with weight or diet related problems.
There are lots of websites and cookbooks specifically about healthier versions of kid-friendly foods. Foods like burritos, chicken fingers, pizza, and alphabet soup are favourites with a lot of children (and adult men in my experience) but you can easily sub out bad ingredients for better ones. For example, you can replace the pepperoni on a homemade pizza with chunks of leftover chicken, use a low-fat cheese, and add a lot of vegetables at toppings. Burritos and alphabet soup are also really easy ways to add more vegetables while still being a fun meal. Also, keep some treats in the diet so that the family doesn't rebel against a sudden lack of dessert, but make dessert things like an apple oat-crisp instead of icecream.
Another suggestion to help with the children's cooperation is to include them in the cooking process. My mum went on a health kick when I was little and I remember this being one of the ways that she got my sister and I to be a little more open to the new "weird" foods.
Good luck 0 -
I am so glad I joined MFP! You guys give great advice.
I just wanted to add, that if the fried foods and other high fat/carb/sugar foods that have been your family's staples have you now wanting to lose weight, then it stands to reason that those same habits will eventually take a toll on your family. It is your responsibility as the mom to help your children be as healthy as possible, so bring them in on the process of *change* in your house. Have them sit with you while making the grocery list, and give everyone a night of the week to pick the meal, with the stipulation that it must include some lean protein and veggies. Limit starches and fats, and do some research that helps them understand how non-nutritious foods will affect their bodies in the long-term.
In order to lose weight, we all have to go through the educational process. Take your family with you on your journey! Good luck!0 -
Honestly, it is hard. You have to find ways to make healthy food taste good so the others will like it too. Fried food for example, there are alternate methods like baking that turn out equally as delicious.
Trial and error!!! Good luck and don't give up!0 -
To sort of reiterate what the others were saying, I think you have a couple different options.
The first thing, is yes, if you're the cook in the family, then you get to choose what groceries are bought and what meals are served. I do not make separate meals for my hubby and kids, but rather make meals with options. For example, I'll make turkey chili (everyone likes) and I'll eat mine with a side salad, and the rest of the family may add cheese, sour cream or tortilla chips. Or, I'll make tacos and have all my toppings on a bed of greens (which I love) and they'll have theirs in shells. If I make pasta sauce, I'll serve mine over spaghetti squash (again, which I love) and they will have theirs on regular pasta. With that in mind, I don't COOK anything I won't eat. If they want something else, it has to come out of a box or a bag or they have to cook it themselves.
Second, there are some delicious ways to make healthy food. Check out Cooking Light magazine or website or skinnytaste.com. You can bake a lot of the things that are typically fried, including "fried" chicken and baked fries. I'll bet you'll find a ton of options that everyone will like.
For me the trick is to eat less of the "filler" like pasta and breads, and focus more on the veggies. I eat pizza and all kinds of regular foods, but make sure at least half my plate is fruit and/or veg. You gotta make your menu fit your lifestyle and preferences, because otherwise it will always be a temporary fix.
thank you for the suggestion! I like the skinnytaste.com website. one of my struggles is that I too am a picky eater so I'm trying a lot of knew things but just haven't quite got the nack just yet.0 -
Personally I just pick staples that my boyfriend and I both enjoy and opt for healthier versions. We both like hamburgers, so we purchase it lean. We both enjoy pasta, I go for whole grain. We enjoy sweets, I bake healthier versions.
Baked fish, chicken, etc. Sometimes his chicken will be breaded and mine will just have some lemon pepper tossed on it so nobody is really making two separate meals, but we both get something we enjoy. I eat smaller portions of the starchy sides and bigger portions of the veggies.
It's very possible to make it work without you or your family feeling deprived. Portion control here is key, though. Weigh everything.0 -
Have you tried converting the unhealthy stuff they like into something that you can eat and they'll still like? For example, make "oven fried chicken" instead of frying chicken the traditional way, etc. Something to consider.
Thank you. you know I acutally forgot about that. Thanks!
This was going to be my suggestion too. My family loves pastas and Mexican food, so instead of preparing traditional versions of it, we use eat spaghetti squash instead of enriched pasta, we use a lot of spinach tortillas instead of flour or wheat, fresh veggie sauces instead of canned. It tasted a little different, but for the most part, everyone loved not giving up their favorite foods and I don't have to cook two meals.0 -
Perfect! This is what my husband and I did when we went on the diet wagon. It was helpful to have him on my side, though. No doubt about that. The kids found that they actually liked most of the food we ate and I added some extra carbs for them because they are very athletic and needed the extra calories. Overall, it worked out. Sometimes, you just have to stick with it and unless your family is very young, they're not going to starve to death.
I can sympathize. It's not easy cooking for a house full of picky folks. It's no fun to cook the healthy meal and then listen to everyone complain. But I did it. My husband is fairly picky, but even he would rather eat what I offer than make his own. Most of the time. So that's what I started doing finally. I cook one meal that I can eat within my plan. I'll add on sides that the kids really like (mashed potatoes and such, which I don't eat) to go with the meal. But first and foremost I cook for me. I take their likes and dislikes into consideration-DH hates bell peppers, so I make a portion without if that's part of the meal, etc. All in all, I find making exceptions like this to one meal is much easier than actually fixing two.
Here's an example of what I do:
DH likes chicken teriyaki, particularly breaded. I like grilled chicken. So I make a homemade teriyaki sauce, marinade the chicken in advance, grill it, and add the sauce on the side in case he wants extra. For sides, I provide steamed broccoli and a salad. These are what I like. My oldest son doesn't care for either usually, so I add corn or mashed potatoes to go with. Sometimes I'll provide a side of steamed rice, too. I don't usually eat it, but they all love it.
In this way I've provided a healthy entree that appeals to his taste, sides for everyone to enjoy, and it's just one meal.
HTH0 -
My family had a saying they nailed on me when I spoke to them about this a while ago. I was trying to eat normally, regualr diet, my parents were working carb diets. Making two meals made no sense. However, as the phrase went "Thee who b**hes, switches."
Be prepared to take over cooking for the family, since it may be the only way for the chance for you to get the meals you need and keep them happily fed. If they're not picky on diets, you got a lot more leeway than I did.0 -
I love this thread!
This was a huge problem for me. My husband is quite thin, athletic, has a fast metabolism and has trouble keeping weight on, and I'm the opposite. When I first got married I gained weight because I had to cook a lot for him, and then I would eat the same thing as him, which wasn't good for me. But I didn't think it made sense to make a completely different meal for myself, so I felt stuck. Recently I discovered something I am so excited about. I will make the same topping (chicken, sauce, seafood, beans, veggies) for both of us, but put his over a huge pile of rice and put mine over salad greens. I love it. Also I have stopped eating red meat, but I buy natural pre-cooked sausage for him which I can easily cut up and add to his serving of any meal, so I don't have to cook something different for both of us.0 -
Well, your household may not be set up like mine but the kids eat what's put on the table or nothing at all. No fixing their own stuff or hitting the snacks. They dont eat, they dont get a snack later either (this is the older kids, my 22 month old gets exceptions but she eats anything!) Now that seems harsh but that's what has to be done not only for your own health but theirs as well. Luckily, my husband eats whatever is put on the table but I do know that some husbands are not that easy.
^^^ LOVE this! That's called "parenting" and not enough people do it any more.
Very different parenting style to let your kids starve. My grandma used to do that, but it's NOT for me. If they don't like spinach mixed in with their ground beef (one of the meals my son didn't like) then he is smart enough and independent enough to find some healthy food that he does like. Starving is just as bad as filling up on sugar, in my opinion.
When I was a kid and it's how I raised my kids was it's a home not a restaurant - I make one dinner and you eat whats on the table or you get nothing till breakfast - no dessert, no snacks - nada - There isnt a child or adult for that matter on the planet - that died of starvation from missing one meal. Fortunately my kids were really good eaters. How we worked around the "but I really really dont like that" - the rule is you have to try something cooked at least 3 different ways on 3 different occasions before you get to say you dont like something - for example my youngest loathes fish in any form (he's tried it multiple ways) - so - whenever we would have fish I always made sure to have an extra veggie or something - he had potatoes & veggies just no fish - but he didnt get a separate meal - same as now - my kitchen, my cooking - you eat my choices - however I will take suggestions and will try to accommodate those suggestions - and as others have said - make small changes and they'll never know. One thing my mom always did to trick my brother (who loved and raved about her chicken soup) she used to blend veggies and with some of the water she had cooked them in into the stock - no one ever knew just how many veggies were in that no veggies allowed (my brother's name for it) chicken noodle soup.0 -
I sound really bad, but I fix dinner and if my husband doesn't want to eat it, he goes to get something else...He generally eats alot of junk and fast food and doesn't want to change his habits. I absolutely can't make two meals, as I will totally taste test his and probably eat a plate of whatever it is.0
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