TEENAGERS
deniseearheart
Posts: 919 Member
in Chit-Chat
I am going crazy.. He is almost 15 and everywhere he walks leaves a mess behind him... I have ALWAYS gotten on his case and gave him chores and payed allowance and made him clean up so it is not something new but it is driving me nuts and I am under enough stress... What can I do to make him at least clean up after himself.....
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Replies
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I am going crazy.. He is almost 15 and everywhere he walks leaves a mess behind him... I have ALWAYS gotten on his case and gave him chores and payed allowance and made him clean up so it is not something new but it is driving me nuts and I am under enough stress... What can I do to make him at least clean up after himself.....
Give him a smack on the head when he doesn't clean up his mess.0 -
I am going crazy.. He is almost 15 and everywhere he walks leaves a mess behind him... I have ALWAYS gotten on his case and gave him chores and payed allowance and made him clean up so it is not something new but it is driving me nuts and I am under enough stress... What can I do to make him at least clean up after himself.....
Give him a smack on the head when he doesn't clean up his mess.
ya right . even if I was the type to do that he is bigger than me and knows it to.0 -
Take the game system controllers into your room each night. He cannot earn them back until he has completed chores and homework for the day and you have inspected it.0
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I am going crazy.. He is almost 15 and everywhere he walks leaves a mess behind him... I have ALWAYS gotten on his case and gave him chores and payed allowance and made him clean up so it is not something new but it is driving me nuts and I am under enough stress... What can I do to make him at least clean up after himself.....
Give him a smack on the head when he doesn't clean up his mess.
ya right . even if I was the type to do that he is bigger than me and knows it to.
Yeah but if you don't show him who's the boss then he won't probably do what you ask him to do. Don't let your child own you. You're the parent, he should obey your rules. It's like "you live under my roof, so you live by my rules or get out."0 -
OH. MY. GOODNESS. believe me, it's no better with girls... except include makeup smears, glitter, nail polish spills, & massive amounts of laundry to the mess... & trust me, mine has been disciplined- some things never get through their heads! temporarily, maybe but they sloooowly revert back to some things.
HANG IN THERE. that's all we can do!0 -
My mom was constantly on me for that when I was a teenager. Her nagging made me want to do it less. She'd always go "do you wanna come and clean this up?" "Uh, hell no I don't wanna." Now I realize how out of line I was.
I don't have any tips other than the ones posted, but I can say that he's being pretty normal.0 -
Another thing to do is to go in with him, even against his wishes, and do a room overhaul. The reason I say this is sometimes the room gets so cluttered that it becomes overwhelming for kids (and teenagers) to keep up with it. Then after everything has a place, talk about expectations. Then it is up to YOU to inspect it daily. I suggest a daily inspection rather than weekly because I find that if I just do it periodically, it gets worse and worse and we have to go back to the room overhaul. It is much more simple to fix a mess daily because it will be a smaller mess. The only exception is I pretty much don't hassle them on the weekend but come Monday afternoon, that room better be picked back up. We get off track sometimes and have to go back to square one but for the most part a daily inspection and having it go towards earned privileges cuts down on the amount of arguing.0
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I like that idea. Also, When I was a little kid, my mom would give me a few chances to clean my room, then she'd do it for me. That happened ONCE -- because her way involved everything going into garbage bags and me never seeing it again. It worked...but I wasn't a teenage boy, so who knows?Take the game system controllers into your room each night. He cannot earn them back until he has completed chores and homework for the day and you have inspected it.0 -
My son responds to losing the internet. He didn't care when we took away the phone or the xbox but the internet - that motivates him. You just need to find what motivates your son.0
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change the WiFi password daily. New password given out once the day's tasks are complete.0
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When you realize he could be cutting himself, bulimic, having sex without condoms, attempting suicide and drinking and sneaking out of the house at night..... you will find the mess he leaves everywhere....no big deal !
Trust me I know... it could be a lot worse
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change the WiFi password daily. New password given out once the day's tasks are complete.
like this idea0 -
When you realize he could be cutting himself, bulimic, having sex without condoms, attempting suicide and drinking and sneaking out of the house at night..... you will find the mess he leaves everywhere....no big deal !
Trust me I know... it could be a lot worse
Oh I am sure it could... but still I am a clean freak and messes stress me out beyond belief...0 -
Take all the things he leaves behind and put them on his bed, he'll have to clear everything out of it to go sleep ;-)0
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Most people will no respond to nagging. At 15 he is old enough to be treated like a young adult. Sit him down and without nagging let hi know what portion of the household chores he is responsible for. Give him a weekly list and give him a timeline for it to be completed.
For example, by Sunday of each week all floors must be swept and mopped/ vaccummed
no work= no pay.
He will figure out if he doesnt pick up his own junk and everyone else off the floor then he cant clean it and earn his $. Also once he has to pick up someone else stuff he is more likely to internalize goe it feels for you to be cleaning after him.0 -
I have the same problem ...I'm thinking about taking away the xbox, computer and tv until he start contributing to more than just the mess.0
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I have 3 that are 17 18, & 19. All three raised with the same rules and the same consequences and the middle one is neat and clean, the youngest strives for that but never quite gets there (he says he forgets) and the oldest just doesn't care. I can't see his bedroom floor. There are personality issues there but I have used the "you aren't going to eat or go anywhere until you clean your room and bathroom." - just so I can't get them to clean some things. Some boys won't start cleaning up after themselves until they own their own homes and until then, you won't want to visit their apartments.0
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Yeah but if you don't show him who's the boss then he won't probably do what you ask him to do. Don't let your child own you. You're the parent, he should obey your rules. It's like "you live under my roof, so you live by my rules or get out."
That's the perfect recipe to alienate a teenager from his/her parents. Authoritarian parenting serves no purpose other than increase resentment in the kid and make him/her want to act out more.0 -
When you realize he could be cutting himself, bulimic, having sex without condoms, attempting suicide and drinking and sneaking out of the house at night..... you will find the mess he leaves everywhere....no big deal !
Trust me I know... it could be a lot worse
True dat!!!0 -
LOL, sorry, someone was faster than me.0
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BOYS- we have to remind them to pick up everything and change their clothes and flush the tilet- daily- until they leave the house, get married, and heir wife takes over....LOL
My 3 boys are 16, 17, 19- and they are carbon copies of The Absent Minded Professor.
the most impprovement is when I have them do Push Ups when they forget to put things away.0 -
but still I am a clean freak and messes stress me out beyond belief...
He's not cleaning because 1. you nag him and 2. it bothers the hell out of you to be around messes. Teenage rebellion. From my experience, nothing makes a person NOT want to do something than getting nagged over it.0 -
change the WiFi password daily. New password given out once the day's tasks are complete.
I saw this on pinterest and was going to suggest it too. I think it is a great idea.0 -
Some boys won't start cleaning up after themselves until they own their own homes and until then, you won't want to visit their apartments.
sigh...and some will never....lol my sisiters husband....0 -
When you realize he could be cutting himself, bulimic, having sex without condoms, attempting suicide and drinking and sneaking out of the house at night..... you will find the mess he leaves everywhere....no big deal !
Trust me I know... it could be a lot worse
Oh I am sure it could... but still I am a clean freak and messes stress me out beyond belief...
It can always be worse, but you might try this: stay calm and say"When you've cleaned up X then we'll have dinner... or the Internet will be open" (or whatever you decide).... ala Barbara Coloroso.
Gotta love teenagers....hormonally impaired beings that they are. Good luck!!0 -
Ha! When you figure it out, let me know!0
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I am in your boat. My 19 year old has the smelliest room ever and I know I taught him better. My best advice. take a step back and pick your battles. Mine in laundry and common space in the house. I let the clutter in the room go. I also give him a chance to talk when we argue about the chores. Even if what I say goes, he at least said his peace. Best of luck to you.0
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My son responds to losing the internet. He didn't care when we took away the phone or the xbox but the internet - that motivates him. You just need to find what motivates your son.
This and cell phones are what motivate my 3 teenagers. Oh and the car keys on my girls' LOL> I have 3 of them that I am dealing with!!! 13 (boy), 15 and 17 (girls') All my kids have chores to do. They do their own laundry, clean their rooms, and take out trash and clean up the kitchen after dinner.0
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