News Anchor Stands up to Weight Bullying
thecarbmonster
Posts: 411 Member
Watch the vid here: http://bit.ly/SmONYR
Wow, this was amazing! I was just blogging about how many people think because we're overweight that we are an open target to fat-shame or even send candy-coated "constructive criticism" our way.
I think this is also a controversial topic because many would think the man did nothing wrong.
If obesity is a choice vs an illness, etc, I don't see people shaming smokers? Of course there are anti-smoking ads, but I have never seen someone come up and publicly shame someone for smoking as easily as people comment about weight, make fun of overweight people, criticize, etc.
Thought this would be a good discussion topic!
Wow, this was amazing! I was just blogging about how many people think because we're overweight that we are an open target to fat-shame or even send candy-coated "constructive criticism" our way.
I think this is also a controversial topic because many would think the man did nothing wrong.
If obesity is a choice vs an illness, etc, I don't see people shaming smokers? Of course there are anti-smoking ads, but I have never seen someone come up and publicly shame someone for smoking as easily as people comment about weight, make fun of overweight people, criticize, etc.
Thought this would be a good discussion topic!
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Replies
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WOW! Thank you for posting this. That was really amazing and I think that it's great that something was said about this kind of bullying and something was done. Especially with it being anti-bullying month. The man who wrote that letter said that she needed to be an "suitable example" for the community. She is way more than that. She's inspiring. Very cool!0
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I saw that this morning on the news. I thought she handled it very well!0
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The person who wrote the email seemed respectful and concerned. If they had been talking about smoking the point would have been the same.
It isn't an "attack" or "bullying" to show concern for someone. He didn't say "Hey fatass!" or anything like that. He used very clinical terms even used by the FDA. She is right though - she's got very thick skin - but not metaphorically.
I look in the mirror when I'm lifting weights and call myself a fatass if I think about giving up before finishing my planned sets.
A large majority of my region of the country is obese. I wish more people would point it out.0 -
The person who wrote the email seemed respectful and concerned. If they had been talking about smoking the point would have been the same.
It isn't an "attack" or "bullying" to show concern for someone. He didn't say "Hey fatass!" or anything like that. He used very clinical terms even used by the FDA. She is right though - she's got very thick skin - but not metaphorically.
I look in the mirror when I'm lifting weights and call myself a fatass if I think about giving up before finishing my planned sets.
A large majority of my region of the country is obese. I wish more people would point it out.
Yes, he was very polite when he wrote in to attack a successful working mother of three for not meeting his personal beauty standards. And yes, this is about beauty and not about health. It almost always is. In fact, if that woman went home and smoked a pack a day, she'd probably be a lot thinner. If she went home and starved herself, she'd probably be thinner too. However, neither of those things would make her healthier. You have no idea what the state of her health is, and neither did the jerk that wrote to her. His only concern was concern that a women might not be spending every moment of every day worried about whether she met his standards of attractiveness.
If you want to call yourself a "fatass" go right ahead. Maybe that is motivating for you. However, there is a difference in what you call yourself and what you call someone else. Surely you know that.
As for wishing more people would point out that other people are fat -- what world do you live in? As a somewhat overweight teenager who became an obese adult I can tell you that I am reminded of my weight at least ten times a day.
As for insulting and shaming people being the way in which to encourage them to lose weight, I can tell you that for me, it has been exactly the opposite. I was a few pounds overweight in high school, but was bullied so incessantly about it that I came to believe that I was morbidly obese and that nothing that I did would matter. So I ended up becoming much, much fatter. Seriously, society is doing just fine on the shaming fat people front. Does it look like that tactic is working?0 -
Unfortunately, unhealthy choices manifest as physical appearance. Including her double-chin, thick waist, etc.
She may be a successful working mother of three - but she should focus on being there for her kids for as long as possible by improving her lifestyle. Hell - I bug my mom to exercise all the time, and I bug the rest of my family who eats fried food 90% of the time when it would be just as easy to grill.
I'm not suggesting she starve herself, and I'm not suggesting she go down to a size 0. But if she's obese according to her BMI, (as she says in the video) she is at greater risk for a majority of health problems which are preventable. She doesn't have to starve herself, but dropping the pint of Ben & Jerrys and eating a salad instead of a bucket of KFC for her lunch might do wonders toward improving her overall state of affairs.
I guess the overall point is that her appearance is her choice in a lot of ways - but her health is key and if she still looked the same after getting into a normal weight range I'd say more power to her. But if she's going to be a public figure and whine that pointing out her obesity is akin to pointing out the color of her skin or sexual orientation she's going off the wall worse than the guy who emailed her.
As for your point here: "Does it look like that tactic is working? "
Counterpoint: Look at what site you are on after all of that treatment in your youth.0 -
Anyone ever send a similar email to any one of dozens of obese college and pro football coaches?0
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Unfortunately, unhealthy choices manifest as physical appearance. Including her double-chin, thick waist, etc.
Unhealthy choices can manifest themselves in physical appearance. However, many unhealthy choices don't manifest themselves physically or they manifest themselves as society's desired traits -- i.e. many people treat their bodies terribly and are thin. Many people are thin because of the terrible way they treat their bodies. Look at all the thin people who post on here about their starvation tactics, fad diets, or diet drugs. People will do anything to be thin, whether it's healthy or not.She may be a successful working mother of three - but she should focus on being there for her kids for as long as possible by improving her lifestyle. Hell - I bug my mom to exercise all the time, and I bug the rest of my family who eats fried food 90% of the time when it would be just as easy to grill.
How is it that you know so much about her lifestyle? You are making a lot of assumptions based on ONE piece of information. There is a difference between suggesting lifestyle changes to someone who's lifestyle you know something about and making judgments about a complete stranger about whom you know nothing.I'm not suggesting she starve herself, and I'm not suggesting she go down to a size 0. But if she's obese according to her BMI, (as she says in the video) she is at greater risk for a majority of health problems which are preventable. She doesn't have to starve herself, but dropping the pint of Ben & Jerrys and eating a salad instead of a bucket of KFC for her lunch might do wonders toward improving her overall state of affairs.
Did you see her eating a bucket of KFC for lunch? Did you see here eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's? Do you know the last time she ate a salad? Again, how do you know this? I am obese by BMI standards and I haven't eaten fast food in years. Nor do I like ice cream. I also exercise regularly and walk everywhere. But you would look at me and judge me in the same, false, way that you are judging this woman.I guess the overall point is that her appearance is her choice in a lot of ways - but her health is key and if she still looked the same after getting into a normal weight range I'd say more power to her. But if she's going to be a public figure and whine that pointing out her obesity is akin to pointing out the color of her skin or sexual orientation she's going off the wall worse than the guy who emailed her.
The whole "I am concerned for your health" is the biggest BS I've ever heard. I would prefer it if people would stick with "You are fat and I find that unattractive and therefore I am going to harass you about it" than have it covered in this veneer of "concern." Do you not notice how many young, thin, girls post on here asking about how they can starve themselves to be "healthy", stating that they are eating 800 calories a day because they need to be "healthy". Healthy is a word that has almost lost all meaning in the weight context. It has become a euphemism for thin just as unhealthy has become a euphemism for fat. Is this guy going to write to the thin anchors at that station to ask about their daily habits? Or is he just going to assume that anyone who is thin arrived that way by healthy habits?As for your point here: "Does it look like that tactic is working? "
Counterpoint: Look at what site you are on after all of that treatment in your youth.
Wow. You completely missed my point with that. I am not on this site because judgmental jerks shamed me into wanting to lose weight. Quite the opposite. It is because I feel good about myself *despite* hateful ignorant jerks who think I eat a bucket of KFC every day that I am here. I look back at pictures of myself in high school and see a beautiful young girl who thought she was disgusting and worthless because she was a few pounds overweight and I wish I could go back and tell her different. Or that she had had a role model like that t.v. anchor -- someone to show her that she didn't have to be brought down by the ignorant bullies of the world, whether their hatred is manifest as straight up attacks or as "concern" for her "health."0 -
Is sooooooo tired of hearing about this.... she just can't let it go and is becoming famous because of it. BULLYING MY *kitten* !!
I just heard that she runs 3x a week .......suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure she does BAHAHAHAHAHA0 -
Blech.
That was disappointing. Nothing stated in the email was false or cruel or bullying. The dude who wrote it sure is a moron.....but morons say stupid things all the time. I'm really disappointed this turned into some issue it isn't and this woman is being praised. She went off way more than the guy who wrote the email did. She was the bully here, actually.....0 -
I can understand both sides of the argument. I do think it's an interesting point that it seems unlikely an e-mail like that would ever go out to an obese football coach, etc. It also seems more acceptable for kids to look up to actresses and models who are clearly severely underweight. And then there's people like Paris Hilton...I remember when she was in jail a lot of parents were upset because she was a role model for their kids. Now THAT scares me.
And as someone you used to smoke, ohhhhh we get shamed...a lot...in person, online, in every kind of way. I used to say "I'm paying for a mistake I made 10 years ago. Then, it was a choice. Now it's an addiction I'm fighting."0 -
Blech.
That was disappointing. Nothing stated in the email was false or cruel or bullying. The dude who wrote it sure is a moron.....but morons say stupid things all the time. I'm really disappointed this turned into some issue it isn't and this woman is being praised. She went off way more than the guy who wrote the email did. She was the bully here, actually.....
I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who felt this way. His letter was idiotic, but at the same time I feel her reaction was way over the top. I don't feel the word 'bully' fits the guy. A bully (to me) is someone who intimidates to get what they want.
I can understand why she would be defensive - I would too! But at the same time, I hope after she's done being mad, she'll take a good long look at how she does/does not look after her body. Like me, her weight puts her at risk for diabetes and heart disease, among other things.
It would be great if she would turn this around and take something positive out of it. It would be great if she decided she was going to make her body a priority and lose the weight. It would be very inspiring to alot of people out there.0 -
The guy had no right to send her the email he did. As she mentioned he doesn't know her so he has no way of knowing all the reasons behind her current weight situation. As she points out attacks like this are all to common these days especially to young adults and children who have not yet built the self esteem to weather such negative feedback. I think if you listen to her whole message you will see that she is supporting self-acceptance and helping people weather negativity whether its weight, sexuality or handicap.
I am sad that she didn't take the opportunity to also embrace Lady Gaga's Body Revolution.
from Yahoo: Lady G has come under much criticism lately concerning her weight, prompting her to launch her 'body revolution' last week. She kicked off the revolution by posting pictures of herself in her underwear and calling for her followers to join her in celebrating their shape whatever it is. Gaga wrote: "Bulimia and anorexia since I was 15. But today I join the BODY REVOLUTION. To inspire Bravery. and BREED some m$therf***ing COMPASSION."
If you visit the Body Revolution you see some pretty amazing people who are fighting the snickers of others. How often do children point at people who limp, have scars, etc. Often what I see is parents who just hush their children instead of explaining things to them. How is this different from kids calling other kids fatty.
October is anti-bullying month. Maybe the definition of bullying that some people have is narrow. I guess my definition is much broader.0 -
Is sooooooo tired of hearing about this.... she just can't let it go and is becoming famous because of it. BULLYING MY *kitten* !!
I just heard that she runs 3x a week .......suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure she does BAHAHAHAHAHA
There are many people on this site who are even heavier than that woman and who run regularly. I see posts from them quite often. Here's a recent example: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/711234-300-lbs-and-ran-my-2nd-5k-i-feel-like-a-superhero-w-pics?hl=300+5k
I'm sure she's just faking it though. No one who is overweight exercises or eats healthy things ever. Just as no one who is thin starves themselves to get there or spends any time watching T.V. Fat people all stuff themselves and sleep all day. While thin people all run 10 miles daily and eat healthy balanced meals. At least that is what I am "learning" from some of the ignorant comments in this thread.0 -
It sounds to me like the letter, although offensive to the anchor, had good intentions. The man who wrote the email has an absolutely valid point. She is very overweight, and although we do not know if she has any health conditions that could affect her weight, she has a career in a visual art. I think she took it well out of proportion in calling it "bullying". Yes, he made a judgement based on her appearance, but hellooo...she is a TV anchor. For someone who was not hurt by his words, she sure made a big deal out of it.0
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So it would be okay if he said to an tv anchor - your teeth have a gap go see a dentist or your roots are showing go see a hairstylist or that mole looks cancerous go see a doctor or you got big boobs get them reduced and I could go on. Sorry but judging others that way just seems wrong to me.0
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The guy went out of his way to write to her, of course it's bullying. Do you think she should quit her job until she loses weight? You're as bad as the dumb**se who wrote to her.It sounds to me like the letter, although offensive to the anchor, had good intentions. The man who wrote the email has an absolutely valid point. She is very overweight, and although we do not know if she has any health conditions that could affect her weight, she has a career in a visual art. I think she took it well out of proportion in calling it "bullying". Yes, he made a judgement based on her appearance, but hellooo...she is a TV anchor. For someone who was not hurt by his words, she sure made a big deal out of it.0 -
I am obese by BMI standards too.
<<<<<do I look obese to you?
Bmi is a bunch of hooey.0 -
Interesting. Maybe you should have read the thread you linked, cause in that thread she lost 30lbs due to running.Is sooooooo tired of hearing about this.... she just can't let it go and is becoming famous because of it. BULLYING MY *kitten* !!
I just heard that she runs 3x a week .......suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure she does BAHAHAHAHAHA
There are many people on this site who are even heavier than that woman and who run regularly. I see posts from them quite often. Here's a recent example: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/711234-300-lbs-and-ran-my-2nd-5k-i-feel-like-a-superhero-w-pics?hl=300+5k
I'm sure she's just faking it though. No one who is overweight exercises or eats healthy things ever. Just as no one who is thin starves themselves to get there or spends any time watching T.V. Fat people all stuff themselves and sleep all day. While thin people all run 10 miles daily and eat healthy balanced meals. At least that is what I am "learning" from some of the ignorant comments in this thread.
I also find it hard to believe that reporter as well.0 -
He is a bully. He is using a tactic called "shaming". It is especially hurtful in that he hides behind a veneer of concern for the school girls she is leading down the wrong road with her irresponsible weight management.
He doesn't ask her, or suggest, that it may be from an underlying health condition.
He doesn't offer to ASSIST her in making changes. For example, "I would like to offer my free personal training services and nutritional counseling which I hope can improve your life and offer inspiration for your viewers"
You see, there is no helping in criticism if you don't offer your hand to assist. Either mind your own business, or truly commit your time and energy to the cause you found so important you had to take out your time to write an email about someones "social irresponsibility".
I hope that readers that feel this email wasn't bullying reconsider the powerful tactic of shaming. Accusing someone of letting down others and themselves can spiral people into depression so deep they commit suicide.
It IS bullying...of the worst kind.0 -
Is sooooooo tired of hearing about this.... she just can't let it go and is becoming famous because of it. BULLYING MY *kitten* !!
I just heard that she runs 3x a week .......suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure she does BAHAHAHAHAHA
At her size she might run....but not what we here would consider running.... could be to the car & back in the rain
I looked fitter than her at my heaviest :O 0 -
Blech.
That was disappointing. Nothing stated in the email was false or cruel or bullying. The dude who wrote it sure is a moron.....but morons say stupid things all the time. I'm really disappointed this turned into some issue it isn't and this woman is being praised. She went off way more than the guy who wrote the email did. She was the bully here, actually.....
this.0 -
Is sooooooo tired of hearing about this.... she just can't let it go and is becoming famous because of it. BULLYING MY *kitten* !!
I just heard that she runs 3x a week .......suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure she does BAHAHAHAHAHA
There are many people on this site who are even heavier than that woman and who run regularly. I see posts from them quite often. Here's a recent example: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/711234-300-lbs-and-ran-my-2nd-5k-i-feel-like-a-superhero-w-pics?hl=300+5k
I'm sure she's just faking it though. No one who is overweight exercises or eats healthy things ever. Just as no one who is thin starves themselves to get there or spends any time watching T.V. Fat people all stuff themselves and sleep all day. While thin people all run 10 miles daily and eat healthy balanced meals. At least that is what I am "learning" from some of the ignorant comments in this thread.
This. Great response to someone who doesn't know when not to speak.0 -
I hope that readers that feel this email wasn't bullying reconsider the powerful tactic of shaming. Accusing someone of letting down others and themselves can spiral people into depression so deep they commit suicide.
It IS bullying...of the worst kind.
I think people are being waaaay too dramatic about this. We're talking about a single email. If somebody's mental healthy, a single email is not going to cause them to spiral into depression and commmit suicide. People throw the word bully around alot. To me, a single email that is rude is not bullying. Why didn't she just hit delete after the first few sentences? When somebody's in the public eye and is noticeably overweight, they are bound to get criticisms. Not saying it's right, but it's bound to happen.0 -
How are we suppose to have an open dialogue about obesity every time someone gets butt hurt when the subject comes up? The mailer did not call her fat or a fatty. He did not email her multiple times. He did not display her obesity on YouTube. He did not tell her to put the Twinkies down. The email he sent her was private. It was the news caster who made it public domain. All he did was tell her the truth and apparently the truth hurts.
Obesity causes Type 2 Diabetes, Heart Diseases, High Cholesterol, and leads to an early death but many people here are in denial and they treat any constructive advice as "bullying". It's not okay to accept obesity and once we cross that line of acceptance, our lives and our children's lives will be a lot shorter.
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If obesity is a choice vs an illness, etc, I don't see people shaming smokers?
Really?!? Terrible comparison. But you don't see smokers being shamed? They aren't even allowed in most public places anymore - (which I'm personally thankful for because cigarette smoke gives me asthma attacks.) I don't like smoking and think it's a nasty habit, but I can acknowledge that most smokers I know of are quite defensive these days because they take A LOT of flack for it.
Anyway, continue on with the topic, people.0 -
Interesting. Maybe you should have read the thread you linked, cause in that thread she lost 30lbs due to running.Is sooooooo tired of hearing about this.... she just can't let it go and is becoming famous because of it. BULLYING MY *kitten* !!
I just heard that she runs 3x a week .......suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure she does BAHAHAHAHAHA
There are many people on this site who are even heavier than that woman and who run regularly. I see posts from them quite often. Here's a recent example: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/711234-300-lbs-and-ran-my-2nd-5k-i-feel-like-a-superhero-w-pics?hl=300+5k
I'm sure she's just faking it though. No one who is overweight exercises or eats healthy things ever. Just as no one who is thin starves themselves to get there or spends any time watching T.V. Fat people all stuff themselves and sleep all day. While thin people all run 10 miles daily and eat healthy balanced meals. At least that is what I am "learning" from some of the ignorant comments in this thread.
I also find it hard to believe that reporter as well.
Yes, she lost 30 pounds. Why is that relevant? She still weighs 300 pounds, which I would think is quite a bit more than the television anchor who neither you nor the poster I was responding to "believes" can run. Yes, supergirl 6 lost weight. She might lose more weight, but she is, currently, an overweight (obese even) person who runs. Plenty of obese people exercise, plenty of thin people don't. Why is that so hard to understand? There are examples all over this site. Why do you find it hard to believe that the reporter in the story runs?0 -
This is a picture of the guy. Quote from the guy below responding to the news anchor. Nothing about it seems like a real bully to me and he is really smart in that he challenged her to be a better role model for young women.
http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2012/10/kenneth_krause_personal_injury_lawyer_wrote_letter_to_jennifer_livingston_calling_her_obese_photo.phpGiven this country's present epidemic of obesity and the many truly horrible diseases related thereto, and considering Jennifer Livingston's fortuitous position in the community, I hope she will finally take advantage of a rare and golden opportunity to influence the health and psychological well-being of Coulee Region children by transforming herself for all of her viewers to see over the next year, and, to that end, I would be absolutely pleased to offer Jennifer any advice or support she would be willing to accept.0 -
Doesn't sound like a bully at all. People just love to use labels, but it's not always accurate. How about describing what's wrong about his behavior rather than labeling him.
From Wikipedia:
Bullying is the use of force or coercion to abuse or intimidate others. The behavior can be habitual and involve an imbalance of social or physical power. It can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion and may be directed repeatedly towards particular victims, perhaps on grounds of race, religion, gender, sexuality, or ability.[2][3] The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a "target".
Did he threaten her or intimidate her? Is he harassing her? Physically assauting? Nope to all of the above. He wrote a critical email about her weight and challenged her to be a better role model. The email may have been offensive, but that's all.0 -
What part of "If you haven't got something nice to say, don't say anything at all" do mothers not teach their children anymore?! Maybe, just maybe, as part of a loving friendship developed over a number of years, where said overweight person asks the opinion of a friend they know and trust, it might be acceptable to say something similar to that email. But otherwise? Keep your mouths shut. Being rude is not a personality trait to aspire to...0
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Honestly what does she expect as a TV personality? If you put yourself in the public spotlight and invite comments, and then cry and whine when you get a negative email, then don't invite comments. She took a private email and posted it on a public social media site for millions to see! Then she cried "poor me".
I am still unclear how this is bullying? Did the viewer send her repeated emails? Does this mean that all celebrities that get negative emails are being bullied? Does she post all her negative emails on facebook?
I think she had an opportunity to make this about health and wellness, and her struggle with it, but instead she made it about BULLYING???
I think with the epidemic levels of obesity in our society it's ok to hold people accountable that are in positions of influence. The writer did it privately, she chose to make it public.0
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