i don't want to be in love anymore :-/
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well to the OP, there is absolutely nothing wrong with posting questions like that here, I have done it myself. I believe that physical well-being and emotional well-being effect each other, whether it be positive or negative. So if you need help, with either one, you can come to us. The only thing I will suggest, is to make syre you talk to him first, which in my experience doesn't always work, but it is the avenue that should be traveled first. He might just need time to sort things out like he said, or there could be other reasons which I really don't want to get into, (They are the reasons that hurt.)
To all of the a**holes that keep fussing about her post.....................................*kitten* OFF! Here's an idea for you, if you don't like having to read posts that don't relate to diet and fitness...................................................DON"T F*CKING CLICK ON IT!!!!!!!!:explode:
Sorry for my rudeness to those that are trying to help her.:flowerforyou:0 -
not sure about anybody else but even though this isn't necessarily fitness related something like this on the mind certainly can affect fitness. Right now she does need this support as it may help in many other facets of life which may include fitness, but most certainly wellness.
As far as your relationship goes, you cannot just not be in love anymore. Thats not up to you and you can't make it happen. They say time heals all wounds which is right to an extent. At the moment you just need to muster up any kind of strength and courage you have and really say the hell with him. He needs to be cut off because it's not helping you to have him around. He needs to know you mean business because he sure knows what he's doing. The time may come where you have hope and he strings you along then boom..he's in a serious relationship with somebody else. Not saying it will happen but it's possible so you need to handle your own business and think for you and yours first.
Somebody above me said time apart can often mean dating others or just getting a fix...well yes it sure can be, so protect yourself from even more hurt and as I said...go go go0 -
he is the one being distant
Your king is in another castle.
unfortunately- agree0 -
You need to focus on your SON and worry about getting your life together.0
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Keep looking....maybe he's just not right for you....This is coming from someone married 3 times, now for 24 years!!
Find someone who wants to spend all their time with you....and never wants to be apart!! Life is to short to be with someone who isn't feeling the same way you do : )0 -
Dont worry Uncle Andy is here0
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Um, I think many will agree that physical fitness and health go hand in hand with mental health. Relationships have a HUGE impact on our physical well-being. I guess you can "ignore" me too.
Well said.0 -
Certain things happen at the beginning of a relationship that get the initial attraction going and we fall into infatuation. As time progresses we learn the cold hard facts about the other and we accept them, warts and all. We make a dicision to love at this point. And we can decide not to love. When we get married we commit to loving forever, so there is no going back. Love is a choice ultimately. The feeling of falling in love comes and goes many time in a life time even in the same relationship but the committment, or chioce to love, is there forever.
LIKE!!! =D0 -
Grab a copy of "The Truth Is..." by Theory of a Deadman and blast track 6 (Love is Hell) out loud - feels great! Along with quite a few other tracks off that album.
Sorry to hear things are going so rough for you right now :-(
Sorry you are having a bad time. Be strong!!! Great Album to listen to.....0 -
For the record, I'm on here a lot, and I've never seen her post about this. Some of you need to chill.
I don't have any advice because I basically suck at these kinds of things. I've just simply become a cold-hearted *kitten*. It helps to ensure that things like this don't happen to me again.
The only thing I can say is you have to eliminate all reminders. You have to move forward everyday for you. You have to start the process of forgetting about him. This "space" thing is bullsh*t. No one needs "space" from someone they love. Sorry, but space is code for break up. It's just a seemingly nice way to do it. It's actually more cruel, but appears nicer. The actual nice thing to do is for him to just cut it off and end it immediately. Then, you could move on and you wouldn't live through years of yearning. As it is, he is going to string you along for a long time.
My advice is that YOU make a decision. Don't let him make it for you.0 -
work on yourself, that way you can be happy with him, someone else or alone0
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Cut the cord, delete his number, tell him not to come over. Whatever is going on obviously isn't working. Cut him out and never look back.0
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well to the OP, there is absolutely nothing wrong with posting questions like that here, I have done it myself. I believe that physical well-being and emotional well-being effect each other, whether it be positive or negative. So if you need help, with either one, you can come to us. The only thing I will suggest, is to make syre you talk to him first, which in my experience doesn't always work, but it is the avenue that should be traveled first. He might just need time to sort things out like he said, or there could be other reasons which I really don't want to get into, (They are the reasons that hurt.)
To all of the a**holes that keep fussing about her post.....................................*kitten* OFF! Here's an idea for you, if you don't like having to read posts that don't relate to diet and fitness...................................................DON"T F*CKING CLICK ON IT!!!!!!!!:explode:
Sorry for my rudeness to those that are trying to help her.:flowerforyou:
my sentiments exactly!!!0 -
She does seem to leave rude comments everywhere.0
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Haven't you ever heard of emotional eating? Yes, this is a place to get fit, but also a place to discover and work on what's making you overweight. The ignore button is you not clicking on it, and leaving a rude and disrespecful comment. She posted it in the Chit-Chat area where it belongs.
My Fitness pal is also a place that SHOULD be filled with understanding people. In some peoples case, it is the only place they have. Either vent and get it out, or stuff your face with food. To me, she is doing the right thing. Your comment wasn't necessary!0 -
I know it's cliché but time really does heal. In the meantime it sucks waiting so I would suggest:
1. Wake up, shower and smile (no matter how forced) and tell yourself it's going to be a great day.
2. Remove him from any and all social media (no FB stalking)
3. Exercise
4. Take group classes (something you're interested in or exercise related)
5. Be kind to yourself... Bed and DVD's do amazing things
6. Date yourself... Go and do nice things just for you. Personally I love doing dinners and movies by myself. It took some getting used to but I ended up really loving the 'me' time.
7. Write it down... Writing your feelings down helps clear your head.
I know these things helped me when I took a really long time to get over someone. I had to make myself do all of it but I started to feel better almost immediately.
Just know that it will get better...
Take this advice and run with it. You are obviously unhappy, so why waste another precious moment of your life with someone who cannot give you what you need? Every relationship should be 100/100 and this guy sounds like he's already walked out, and is just keeping you close enough 'just in case.' BTDT got the tshirt to prove it. Yeah it sucks at first, but think about the bigger picture here. Once you cut him out, allow yourself to heal, focus on you and your health, doing the things you love and make you happy, you will look back on this relationship and start demanding better for yourself. Get completely happy with YOU, and the rest will fall into place.
Cut the guy off, he doesn't deserve you. Run in the other direction and never look back, life has so much to offer for you, with all kinds of friends, experiences and people to meet along the way!0 -
Ugh - I saw on of my best friends go through this same on again off again BS with her ex - that GOD she finally figured out she was worth more!! Seriously hon, grow a lady pair and cut him out of your life! You have to love yourself (and your son, from what I gather from the replies) more than some guy who treats you like crap. And if you don't have anyone else in your life than him and that's why you're so damned co-dependent, only you can change that. Time to go out and start making friends in any way you can and build up a support system.
I'm not one that's seen the OP's posts a ton either but I fully believe in telling it straight (aka tough love) when it's so obviously necessary.0 -
In all honesty speaking from experience (not trying to be rude or anything) he probably got bored or you just aren't what he was looking for afterall.
I suggest you move on. Go join some groups and all that and get to know more people and one day you will find what you're after.0 -
work on yourself, that way you can be happy with him, someone else or alone
This.. take charge of your life and create your own happiness.. either with him or without him.0 -
I know it's cliché but time really does heal. In the meantime it sucks waiting so I would suggest:
1. Wake up, shower and smile (no matter how forced) and tell yourself it's going to be a great day.
2. Remove him from any and all social media (no FB stalking)
3. Exercise
4. Take group classes (something you're interested in or exercise related)
5. Be kind to yourself... Bed and DVD's do amazing things
6. Date yourself... Go and do nice things just for you. Personally I love doing dinners and movies by myself. It took some getting used to but I ended up really loving the 'me' time.
7. Write it down... Writing your feelings down helps clear your head.
Thanks for this. I'm not going to spill my story, but there's someone I need to move past. Going to try these 0 -
Break up. Problem solved. No, seriously.............it's that easy.0
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Been there, done that.
From 2003-2006, 14 months in Baqubah, Iraq, followed by 10 months home, followed by 13 more months in Baghdad, Iraq.
I came home to my wife (at the time) and her boyfriend.
She's now my ex-wife.
This, too, shall pass.0 -
I've had enough!!! The last year of the relationship and now him and I being separated .. he says we are still together just taking time apart. It hurts and even though he is being great now I can't handle his distance from me and the way it is.. I know I sound like a broken record but good God I've had enough!!! This effects my life so bad :-(
I feel ya chicky...I have moved my life from Boston to Georgia as the result of a not planned pregnancy, after four plus years I have had enough of somebody trying to make me something I am not. We have made a beautiful child together and I will always be there for him. I have been thinking about this for a year now and it kills me to fathom the thought of not being able to have breakfast with my son every morning and read our bedtime stories together every night but when its all said and done I cant stay miserable any longer. I wish you the best with everything and try to keep your head up. Life is ugly and its gonna keep knocking you down, we have to remember to keep getting up and its how we react after getting knocked down that makes us who we are today !0 -
Seriously, dump him already. He walks all over you. You are being such a pushover = My feelings build up after reading your threads about this for the 110th time... Get rid of him and work on being happy with yourself and your son. He loves you more than you know.0
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just break up!0
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Been there, done that.
From 2003-2006, 14 months in Baqubah, Iraq, followed by 10 months home, followed by 13 more months in Baghdad, Iraq.
I came home to my wife (at the time) and her boyfriend.
She's now my ex-wife.
This, too, shall pass.
Ugh, I'm sorry. That's the worst. I'll glad you've moved on. :flowerforyou:0 -
what took you so long today? \m/ ;-Pjust break up!0 -
Then don't be... hate to break it to the hopeless romantics out there... but love (real actual love) is a choice... you either love someone or you don't... all the "in love" stuff is just lust and a chemical thing... so if you don't want to lust after someone than avert your attention and stay out of his space.0
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You deleted my post? :ohwell: Like I said, I wasn't trying to be mean at all, you're just giving off the wrong impressions, I'm trying to make you see that. Plus this is the wrong place to be posting.. I'm sure you could've messaged a friend instead? :indifferent:
I'm sure family and friends are there for support too? If this post is serious I really do hope things work out, don't let it get to you too much. Break ups are indeed horrible, that's where my weight's come from :frown:0 -
You keep saying that you don't have any family but you do. Your son. He needs a stable mother who can provide a stable home. Maybe try to focus on that for a while.0
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