How/When, if ever to tell someone he/she is obese.

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  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
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    My thoughts on that situation are that, well he didn't know her. I think it was bullying.

    that is all
  • fguillory
    fguillory Posts: 291
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    We are well aware we are fat, we aren't blind no need to tell us
  • vickilm1976
    vickilm1976 Posts: 141 Member
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    I wonder how many of you that think it's so terrible to point out to someone that they are obese think it's A-OK to start lecturing someone for smoking. Obesity and smoking are both very bad for your health and are both a drain on the health care system.

    Not that I'm running to tell every obese person I see that they're obese, but I never would have and never intend to tell people whether or not to smoke.
  • tldust
    tldust Posts: 103 Member
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    I would never say something to a coworker. That could potentially fall under harassment. If they ask you about your weight loss, by all means tell them what you are doing. But save the advice for close friends and family.
  • martintanz
    martintanz Posts: 280
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    I would never say something to a coworker. That could potentially fall under harassment.

    Actually, probably not, and in the case I brought up, it was a professional colleague, not a co worker.
  • danifo0811
    danifo0811 Posts: 542 Member
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    I wonder how many of you that think it's so terrible to point out to someone that they are obese think it's A-OK to start lecturing someone for smoking. Obesity and smoking are both very bad for your health and are both a drain on the health care system.

    Not that I'm running to tell every obese person I see that they're obese, but I never would have and never intend to tell people whether or not to smoke.

    I would never lecture a smoker on the health benefits of quitting. I would ask them not to smoke around me because I find it nasty. Main difference to me is the obese person isn't force feeding me but I can't help but smell the smoke.
  • DarthH8
    DarthH8 Posts: 298 Member
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    Just don't tell dudes with manboobs that they are fine and they don't need to lose weight. Heard that way too ****in much and I'm not happy about it. If they are barely overweight and express a little bit of concern make them think they are huge it'll be the best thing you ever did for em lol. I pushed all the way to 215 thinking I was actually somewhat thin. Somehow I managed to keep fat off my legs and arms and it literally all went into my stomach/chest until the last 20-30 lbs and my pants started not to fit. Then I figured that **** out. Otherwise they know they need to do something, but do not have the motivation to do it, pointing it out might just make it worse. Don't chance that they will take the initiative from your words unless you spit some damn good game.
  • pg3ibew
    pg3ibew Posts: 1,026 Member
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    It is ok for TOTAL STRANGERS to look down at me and speak AT me in disdain because I am a smoker. But it is not ok to do this to a morbidly obese person.
    With the exception of cigs giving off smoke, there is NO difference between the two. Health or appearance wise.

    Just my two cents.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
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    The only time it appropriate is if you are a doctor, and you are talking to a patient about their health.
  • morah29
    morah29 Posts: 107
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    I am sure if you notice someone is obese they already know it.... no need to say anything..... and I wrote this without reading any other posts....
  • GretchenReine
    GretchenReine Posts: 1,427 Member
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    Oh come on...people know they are overweight. They even know HOW over weight they are. They don't need anyone to tell them. If you are their spouse and you are concerned about health...you can mention it. If you are their doctor and you have concerns about medical issues and/or family history...you mention it. If you are a random stranger that doesn't know someone and they don't know you...shut your freakin' pie hole!!! It's none of your damn business.
  • martintanz
    martintanz Posts: 280
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    I am sure if you notice someone is obese they already know it.... no need to say anything..... and I wrote this without reading any other posts....

    Actually, I didn't realize how fat I had gotten until I saw pictures of myself.
  • krystina_letitia9
    krystina_letitia9 Posts: 697 Member
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    I thank God everyday that my best friend told me that she noticed I was gaining weight and that it was affecting my mood and my self-esteem. I was in denial and needed someone to point it out. Did I know? Yes, of course. But having someone point it out to me lovingly opened my eyes. Would I do the same for a friend? Absolutely, IF I felt that they would value the advice.
  • adnol_2
    adnol_2 Posts: 35 Member
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    Funny you should ask this. I had a friend of mine comment about my weight this summer. We have been friends for years. She is one of these skinny minnies and can eat and eat and not gain weight, but she is not healthy. Quite frankly, I told her I knew how much I weighed and she did not have to mention it to me or take pictures of me because I knew what I looked like. I also suggested to her that we compare numbers on our blood work.

    I know that I am overweight and I do not need someone reminding me of it all the time.

    Also, I know a lot of skinny people that are not very healthy and I am tired of hearing that overweight people are a burden on the healthcare system. :smile:
  • djberry22
    djberry22 Posts: 1 Member
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    There is never a right time. No matter how kindly or lovingly you say it -- it hurts. Overweight people know they are overweight. Most of them are already hurting because of their weight. Just don't!
  • annathomas88
    annathomas88 Posts: 27 Member
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    bump.
  • hpynh2o
    hpynh2o Posts: 194 Member
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    I see patients everyday with a variety of weight (and diet) related issues... diabetes, knee/ankle/hip/back (insert body part here) pain, high triglycerides/cholesterol, gallbladder disease, shortness of breath, skin conditions, stretch marks, etc. It would be negligent (and irresponsible) for me not to tell someone that their weight is a contributing factor to their disease.

    As a former fatty, I'm sensitive to the various issues but I try to be very clear and direct. I've had patients get mad at me for pointing out the obvious and I have actually pulled out some before pictures of me on my phone in an effort to show that I've walked the walk. I call it photo-credibility. :)

    Mostly patients appreciate the information and insights I provide, even if they will never take action to fix their weight problem. But there have been a few who followed through. Several have even ended up on MFP.

    :)
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    Probably
    Only of you are their medical doctor and they have just a physical and you are giving them the results and sound medical advice for their health.
  • Retiredmom72
    Retiredmom72 Posts: 538 Member
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    KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Everyone has to decide for him/herself when it's time to make a change. Take care of your business. Unless the person is blind, they know know they have a weight problem. The person may be dealing with deeper issues and don't need your opinion or observation.

    If a person goes to a gym, at least the person is trying. Who made you God?
  • DaisyHamilton
    DaisyHamilton Posts: 575 Member
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    The only people who aren't conscious of their size are people with dimorphism, and shouldn't be told they're fat anyway. A lot of times they're associated with some sort of eating disorder. However, I think with family it's different. I will say to my sister, "Rachel, you need to start eating healthy. I'm worried about your health, especially because ____, _____, and ____ run in the family." However, I would never say it to a friend. It's none of my business, your business, or someone else's. It's their business.

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