Why Doesn't My Family Support Me?

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  • Iron_Maiden
    Iron_Maiden Posts: 326 Member
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    Guilt is a very powerful thing. The way most people deal with guilt is to cover it over with anger and aggression. Your family members feel guilty for not getting themselves healthy, so when your successes (and their relative failures) are so evident they shove that guilt aside, let anger take its place, and say mean things.

    They love you. They really do. They don't mean to be nasty and sabotage you. I'm betting it's just too hard for them to look at themselves and see how hard you've worked and to feel like they've been lazy slobs (I'm not saying the ARE lazy slobs, just that they probably feel that way in comparison). They've got a tough row to hoe -- we all know how it feels to be them or we wouldn't be here.

    So look elsewhere for your validation. Don't try to talk with them about what you're doing for yourself. Know that it's hurtful to them and just let it lie. If you can look at this situation as an opportunity for YOU to be kind to THEM by not calling attention to their self-inflicted ill health instead of a situation of them being unkind to you, it might help. And who knows? -- Maybe your sister will be able to ask you for fitness advice one day. How amazing would that be?

    Your pals are here for you! I am here for you! I think your accomplishments are SPECTACULAR! There's no way on God's green Earth that I could ever run 4 times a week during lunchtime -- I can't even run a mile on the treadmill without whining so pitifully that the gym staff wants to eject me. You're doing really, really well!

    I realize that I probably should have posted this on your news feed instead of here because a bunch of people will likely flame me for whatever reason. Oh well. I hope it helps!

    xxox

    You're awesome! Thank you for this! I'm so glad I'm on MFP! You and others on here are right - I think I do need to not talk to them about my fitness goals. It's just better all around! Onward and upward! :flowerforyou:
  • acpgranberg
    acpgranberg Posts: 137 Member
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    I agree with everything Megleo818 said. You are doing fantastic and don't worry, if you think there is no one to voice your successes to, We'll speak up with a great big cheer for you!
  • Iron_Maiden
    Iron_Maiden Posts: 326 Member
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    I agree with everything Megleo818 said. You are doing fantastic and don't worry, if you think there is no one to voice your successes to, We'll speak up with a great big cheer for you!
    Thank you! :drinker:
  • bf43005
    bf43005 Posts: 287
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    I'm sorry to hear that and really think you need to find your own reasons to be happy about your accomplishments. Don't worry about what others say. This past weekend was the first time I had seen my dad since March and I have lost 20+ lbs. When he said something his comment was "Yea I thought you lost weight, before I thought you might be pregnant" Wow really thanks dad!! But I know I have support from my MFP friends, people at the gym, and my wonderful husband so I try not to let my father get to me. Keep strong and remember not everyone will be happy for you because they are jealous :wink:
  • Iron_Maiden
    Iron_Maiden Posts: 326 Member
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    I'm sorry to hear that and really think you need to find your own reasons to be happy about your accomplishments. Don't worry about what others say. This past weekend was the first time I had seen my dad since March and I have lost 20+ lbs. When he said something his comment was "Yea I thought you lost weight, before I thought you might be pregnant" Wow really thanks dad!! But I know I have support from my MFP friends, people at the gym, and my wonderful husband so I try not to let my father get to me. Keep strong and remember not everyone will be happy for you because they are jealous :wink:
    Wow, sorry to hear that your dad said that! It is hurtful when people we love try to harm our progress. You're right - we need to move forward regarless! I'm glad to have yo on my friend list!

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