why do young women overlook nice guys

cbelden05

I see the opposite. Guys look for the young HOT barbie type, not us average looking girls next door who are fun, and funny.

It's all about self-awareness, confidence and how a person projects themselves. The fact that you see yourself as "average looking" confirms that. You are far from average looking.

On the other hand, if a person has an unhealthy attraction to a certain type of person, why bother with them? Be the person that you like and you will find the type of person that you can be yourself around.

Thanks, to be honest, the picture just happens to be a good picture, but... anyway, luckily I have found a guy, been married almost 8yrs, and he's HOT!

Anyway, the guy in this mom is talking about does need to encourage her son to break out of the shyness comfort zone. Girls like boys who can be quirky, fun, not all macho and stuff. And, as others have pointed out, he may be getting flirted with, but too shy to react so he's being taken as he's not interested.

Hichiko

Posted this in another thread, might as well post it here...

I can't stand this.

It upsets me, because I used to be THAT type of guy and at times I still fight with that guy(looking at a girl I'm attracted to, automatically assuming I'm no good.)

I remember being awkward, shy, nervous, worried, sweaty when being approached or approaching a girl.

It took practice, but I managed to change myself(primarily after getting dumped by my ex.) Although I was always assured of myself and had some sense of humor.

Few notes for kiddos out there:



Be confident. When I say this I mean don't have your head down when she looks at you, have something to say if she talks to you. Do you see a girl that you like? THEN APPROACH HER. Woman want the best, so be the best you can be. Showcase your swagger. You have value, why does she deserve you?

Dress proper. Looks don't really matter, but if you're wearing something like it came out of your parents class of 79' photo then chances are you crapped the bed. Doesn't mean to wear prada, gucci and $200 cologne. I like vnecks, skinny jeans, toms for casual. Button down/cardigan for clubbing. Still trimming down to get into blazers.

No girl is special. LEARN TO GET REJECTED. Deal with it. Ask yourself what happened, how I can do better and MOVE ON.

Don't put her on a pedestal. She's not the end all be all. Your life doesn't revolve around her.

Practice. Talk to girls. This isn't something that we are born with. It takes time, trial and error. When I mean talk to a girl, I don't mean talk to some girl that you want - right away. I mean talk to the cashier, bank teller, movie attendant, barista, classmate. Build yourself up so you don't get as nervous and transform yourself to a more seductive, charming man. It DOESN'T happen overnight just like a healthy life style. Elevate your social skills. Go somewhere where your attributes can be noticed and feel more comfortable at first. Smart? Library. Buff? Beach. Dancer? Club. Musician? Concerts/Live bands.

Body Language. Look at her directly, not like a criminal, but with some suave, don't put your hands in your pockets, smile, have good posture(straight, elbows back)

Talking to her: Be cool. Now I don't mean having the latest apple product. I mean be assertive of yourself, be calm, relaxed, nice, fun, open to new things. This is where confidence really comes into play. This is where your mindset should be saying you're the man, and she's lucky to be talking to you NOT the opposite. Get her to talk. Lead on conversations(making sure you're in control), don't let her stop, unless she asks you a question then you answer it and follow up with another question. A good opener is always helpful. Make her laugh. Backhand compliments are great if you know how to use them. Being an *kitten* helps. Woman enjoy an *kitten* opinion and thoughts because they don't always correspond to theirs and it creates sparks. I don't mean be a ****, I mean be playful. Listen to what she has to say. LISTEN. LISTEN. That's how you have a conversation and follow up on things. Store something she has said and keep it with you. Mention it later on. Woman love that. Stop talking about yourself. Stop bragging. Have flow in your conversation. If she's talking about dogs, don't mention your friends dog died. NO. STOP. I like to mention my name in the end, adds mystery.

Make sure she's interested. Eye contact. Eye contact. EYE CONTACT. Chances are if she's looked at you a couple times, she's looking for you to talk to her. Girls don't show interest like men. They're subtle. If she's playing with her hair. If she's smiled, a comment, etc. Okay you've now talked to her for a while and it's going well? Don't know if she's willing to give you her number/ interested in you? Few things to look out for... Leaning towards you, starts asking you tons of questions, blushing, tone of voice, posture. You can go for the kill by getting close saying something, if she doesn't reject what you said go for a kiss. If she does reject you. Chin up. Sometimes even with all of these hints she could just be an attention *kitten* or a tease. There's more out there.

Again don't be desperate, kiss *kitten*, try too hard, and being scared of who you're naturally supposed to be - a man.

Most importantly be yourself. Be comfortable with who you are. Do some soul searching. Don't live someone else's life. Don't make it all about someone that can hurt you, mistreat, you and eventually break you. Have self-respect. Love yourself because you are so ****ing worth it.

Also:

Stuck in the friend zone? It's your fault. You need to be direct and show her your motive from the get go. Implying and giving 50% of an effort is failure waiting to happen. Be straight forward with her. If she rejects you move on. It is not healthy to do nothing and torment yourself.

Sorry for the spelling, and grammar mistakes.

^ This. All of this.

mavrick7

To the OP:
This is some great advise above, and I agree with most of those tips. These are not issues for young guys only....
I am not an expert, but I can share a few tips:
1. Dress and appearance. Be well groomed, clean smelling, and dress well.
2. Don't kiss *kitten*. No one like this (guys or girls).
3. Be confident
4. Learn how to listen
5. Humble yourself, take risks, and get outside. Find people that share your interests. For example, I have a little nerd in me and go to the San Diego comic con every year. Lots of good looking nerd girls there. You don't need to be a cheerleader to be hot.

Will210

To the OP:
This is some great advise above, and I agree with most of those tips. These are not issues for young guys only....
I am not an expert, but I can share a few tips:
1. Dress and appearance. Be well groomed, clean smelling, and dress well.
2. Don't kiss *kitten*. No one like this (guys or girls).
3. Be confident
4. Learn how to listen
5. Humble yourself, take risks, and get outside. Find people that share your interests. For example, I have a little nerd in me and go to the San Diego comic con every year. Lots of good looking nerd girls there. You don't need to be a cheerleader to be hot.

Good post. I would also add to not put a girl that you like on a mantle (especially not literally!). This leads to kissing *kitten* and being inferior to her. She end up hating you. (like that dentist on the Hangover). Having confidence and believing in yourself is #1. The rest will follow.

Illona88

I exclusively date nice guys. Too bad they never bring up the courage to ask me out.
I'm too much of a chicken to take the initiative as well :blushing: .

jeffryjirraf

i'm too much of a woose to ask the girl out. That may be why, only the ****head guys will actually ask

Suegetsskinnyandfit

This!

Suegetsskinnyandfit

I exclusively date nice guys. Too bad they never bring up the courage to ask me out.
I'm too much of a chicken to take the initiative as well :blushing: .

This!