This Guy .. Help?

madworld1

I'm a big believer in gut instincts usually being right. There's probably a reason you feel uncomfortable. I have a couple of friends who do the online dating thing. Personally, I would never do it. But, that's just because I am overly paranoid about people in general. But, one of my very good friends met his wife online and they are perfect for each other. They have been married a year and are now expecting their first baby. Just be careful and always trust your instinct.

BrettPGH

You feel uncomfortable. Don't go out with him again.

"I can pay for yours"? Did he tell you he'd cover the cost of his gas picking you up and taking you back?

"Don't you worry your pretty little head there darlin'. Subway is on ME!"

Ask Mr. High Roller if it's ok if you add bacon...

perfectingpatti

Ask Mr. High Roller if it's ok if you add bacon...

Or avocado- they have that at Subway now!

saxmaniac

Tonight we're supposed to be going out - possibly to a movie.

You don't like him. Don't go.

Take responsibility for you what you want, and don't wait for him to indirectly "get the message" because you're afraid to say no.

PhillyTD

magj0y

You talked to this guy online for a week and then got in his car alone with him???

NO! NO! NO!!!!!!

SSSOOOOOO dangerous. Don't do that again.

As for the rest, that would annoy the crap out of me and I wouldn't see him again. But that's me. I say if you're feeling weird about it, trust your gut.

^^^I think this needs to be said again. and probably a few more times!!

UsaJewels05

I once had a guy force a kiss and grab my boob on the first date. Needless to say he did not get a second date!

If you like him and want to go out again, just tell him you will meet him there. At least then you can escape if you are not feeling it! I would recommend something other than a movie so you can actually talk and get to know him, just make sure it is something in a very public setting. If you do not want the physical contact yet just tell him that you want to take things slow and you are not comfortable with the physical contact yet.

My only other thought is, if you are normally a physical person and you are not feeling it with him, you are probably not into him and should just cut the ties before it gets deeper.

SyntonicGarden

You talked to this guy online for a week and then got in his car alone with him???

NO! NO! NO!!!!!!

SSSOOOOOO dangerous. Don't do that again.

As for the rest, that would annoy the crap out of me and I wouldn't see him again. But that's me. I say if you're feeling weird about it, trust your gut.

For starters, I agree with everything the above poster said.

Second, if this was the first time you hung out and he's trying to kiss you and is calling you babe, he's got no "game" and probably got a lot of attachment issues. I have two friends who dated guys like this. The first guy's previous girlfriend ended up dumping him and filing criminal charges because he had recorded her phone calls while they were living together. He managed to take fingerprint samples and took pieces of her hair too. He then staked out her house and would stalk her after they broke up.

The second guy dumped his GF because he swore she was cheating because she had an allergic reaction to something and didn't want to go out on Valentine's Day, I'm guessing because allergies = cheating. *puzzled look* On the day he dumped her, her dog happened to be in his care. He let the dog get injured, only to then have my friend discover both the injuries and the breakup when she went to get the dog. (The dog ended up being fine.)

While I'm hoping he's benign, the guy you met sounds like he could be the type to go through your text messages when you get up to go to the bathroom. That is, after he's installed a keystroke logger so that he can check your email and make sure you're not cheating. Oh, and nobody's going to love you like he loves you.

Guys who move THAT fast uuuuuusually have issues. Heck. They often have subscriptions.

Yeah. No. Run. Run like the wind. (Just make sure to log the exercise calories.)

MinnieInMaine

(snip)
My only other thought is, if you are normally a physical person and you are not feeling it with him, you are probably not into him and should just cut the ties before it gets deeper.

This is what stuck out to me as well. As others have said, trust your instincts. Obviously something about this guy is making you uncomfortable. Also agree with the point that you owe him nothing at this point. Go ahead with the next meet up if you want but if you're still not feeling it, be honest with him and tell him you're just not feeling that spark (or whatever). And I would drive myself to the movies...just in case you want to get away. If you're already told him he can pick you up, just tell him you decided you want to do some shopping (or something) before hand and will meet him there instead. No biggee.

Juliejustsaying

I've done a bit of online dating and I find that if the attraction isn't there on the first meeting, it never will be. And you should drive yourself to be on the safe side, not to mention the quick exit. Guys who meet women online aren't looking friends or pen pals. just saying..I'd cut him loose with a simple, thanks but there wasn't a spark.

I would also like to note that if a guy asks to borrow money for gas to come see you, that is probably not worth your effort. Did provide a good laugh for me though. And yes, that did really happen to me...lol

ShmoozyQ

It sounds like your intuition is telling you his touch creeps you out, instead of flatters you. If you aren't up for seeing him again, you don't have to!

AJ_Pete

I've been debating putting this out as a discussion post since I wrote it in my blog earlier .. I think I need to because I'd really like to get some feedback. My blog just isn't as out there for people to see.. So here it is:



Okay, so .. There's this guy .. I met him online, which I know is still kind of sketchy but he seems really nice and fairly put together. I won't really get into that though.

Anyway, we went out to lunch yesterday. Nothing fancy, it was just Subway. He paid though, but the way that he offered to pay surprised me a little.

Now keep in mind that this was the first time we've actually hung out together - after about a week of online chatting and texting.

So we were standing in line, waiting for our subs and he puts his hand on my back and said "I can pay for yours" and possibly may have called me babe/baby .. something.. I was just so startled by his touch - I hadn't been expecting it at all.

Well, we got out food, and I did let him pay, who wouldn't right, lol. We sat down to eat and it was all good. We had a nice chat about how highschool was and a few things came up about siblings and pets - it was during my lunch hour so it wasn't anything too insightful. Overall it was good, he didn't make any awkward moves to try to touch me again so I was fine.

Now, I guess I was expecting or anticipating him to try something else. And I was right. He was driving and when he was dropping me off we said that we would have to meet up again. He grabbed my arm and started to pull me close. I was a little frazzeled but managed a "No thanks" with a giggle .. nice right.. so he let so and said okay. I got out and left.

He texted me a few minutes later saying he had a nice lunch, and I thanked him for paying. Then chatted on and off for the rest of the day. It ended on an awkward note though, we said goodnight and he ended with and "xo xo" to which I didn't respond.

This was yesterday.

Tonight we're supposed to be going out - possibly to a movie.

I'm not sure what to do here. I mean, it's weird for me too, because usually I'm the one who loves physical contact, and don't mind rushing into things. I think it has to do with a recent experience with another guy. I'm just not used to being 'just friends' and now I feel lost.

He texted me this morning - about half an hour ago. I haven't replied..

Let's, for lack of being able to use more colorful words, call him a pirate. What are pirates in constant pursuit of?

legnarevocrednu

I think if you really liked him, that stuff would not be bothering you. I've had guys do those things (and more) who I've had a lot of chemistry with and it was exciting. However, I have also had other guys do that (and more) and it just creeped me out. I think if you're uncomfortable with what little that went on, you are not that into him. I appreciate texts after dates. It lets me know they had a nice time. I also appreciate good mornings texts. I think it's sweet. Everyone is different though and if you are creeped out after the first date, there shouldn't be a second one. By the way, I do online dating too. I've been on a lot of dates...I have it down to an art. You have a right to be picky. There are plenty more where they came from! Good luck!

AmberJo1984

You talked to this guy online for a week and then got in his car alone with him???

NO! NO! NO!!!!!!

SSSOOOOOO dangerous. Don't do that again.

As for the rest, that would annoy the crap out of me and I wouldn't see him again. But that's me. I say if you're feeling weird about it, trust your gut.

^^^I think this needs to be said again. and probably a few more times!!

This is kinda how I feel... but, I have no room to talk really. Because of my past, I'm always finding myself pushing away any guy who gets close.