so sad....

HannahK08

So, Im 23 and almost 300lbs... I dont want to hit that... I try everything.. I dont know what is wrong with me or my brain? I can go strong for a week or 2 and then I quit... whats wrong with me?? Im usually very social and outgoing.. and I feel myself becoming very angry at people and sad and crying often.. and now to top it off.. my husband would rather watch porn than be with me... I dont know what to do Im sorry if I sound like a cry baby.. I know most of you will tell me to quit whining and do something... I just feel defeated.

Arwaxx

NO! dont give up... u r young and beautiful and before u start working on your outer look, u must feel good in the inside.. dont worry. in fitness pals, u will get so much support and im one of them.. i'm always online... so whenever ur about to cheat,,, talk about it... i went on a pizza week fiasco, gained 500g and cried my *kitten* off.. but moving on.. be strong.. ill add u now xx

wwmorrow

You have to make the first step. It's easy to sit on the couch eating potato chips wishing you could lose some weight...I know! Just commit. Log your food here everyday. It will start to come off!

TavistockToad

I can go strong for a week or 2 and then I quit... whats wrong with me??

why do you quit? think about that, and how you can overcome it, and DO IT!!!!

Nix143

Baby steps honey. When everything looks awful and undoable, when your total weight loss seems like a mountain to climb, when life is kicking you in the proverbials - baby steps.

You're here and that's the first one.
Come here every day - step 2
Log everything you eat no matter what - step 3
Start trying to make SOME healthier choices - step 4
Maybe eat some more veggies - etc etc etc
Gor for a walk with the squiddlybobs...
Etc etc

Hard as it is to hear right now you didn't wake you this morning having put on the weight overnight and you're not going to lose it overnight - or in a fortnight. It'll take a little time but hey, that's ok, we're not going anywhere, you're not going anywhere, lets settle down and see what happens.

Take care of yourself, be gentle with yourself and understand deep deep down inside you that you can do this and you deserve to be happy.

Good luck X

prettygirlstorm1

Losing weight is hard. I thought I was going to die when I hit 200lbs. It sounds like you what to make a change but don't know where to start. Every day is a new day take advantage of the opportunities. Log your food, try to get a little exercise and join us. This site is great for motivation and support. It is a journey but we will be there with you. Feel free to add me as a friend. Good luck

nikteazer2

You are not alone, there is nothing wrong with you! I used to be the same and many many other people have the same problems, the thing is though, it is like giving up smoking, the longer you keep it up the fewer the cravings become! If yo can keep going past that two week wall that you hit you will find it easier and easier, there is tons of help and support on here.

You really do need to make complete changes in your lifestyle, eating habits and attitude to food to make a lasting change. But if you keep at it, eventually it becomes a natural way of life and in my case...a healthy addiction!!! Xxx

mumof5

it is sad, really sad. i think you need some help - not with your diet with your mind. you sound really depressed, maybe you need to talk to someone. once you start sorting your mind out you can start sorting your diet out!! keep in mind that this is not a journey to loose weight, its a journey to a better, healthier, happier life. YOU are worth the fight, You are worth the time it will take, YOU ARE WORTH all the happiness that comes with living a healthier life.

jc438

There is nothing worng with you! our brains are built to see food and eat it just in case we don't get our meal next. It ends up being a viscious cycle because you gian a little weight, feel rubbish, eat to feel better gain a bit more weight and then feel even worse. before you know it you feel rubbish all the time. The only person who can help you is you and other people on here are right, you have made the first step and said you don't like feeling like this. Brilliant. It's not about all or nothing or staying strong because if you then eat something extra you automatically feel 'weak' it's about little and often and not giving up. It's hard for people to lose weight and hard for people to stay a healthy weight but it's also hard to give up food when it makes you feel better (even if it is only short-term)! Good Luck! x

Amberonamission

Exercise will make you fell so much better. And in a very short amount of time. Strap on your sneakers and start walking.

crystalbluewolf13

So, Im 23 and almost 300lbs... I dont want to hit that... I try everything.. I dont know what is wrong with me or my brain? I can go strong for a week or 2 and then I quit... whats wrong with me?? Im usually very social and outgoing.. and I feel myself becoming very angry at people and sad and crying often.. and now to top it off.. my husband would rather watch porn than be with me... I dont know what to do Im sorry if I sound like a cry baby.. I know most of you will tell me to quit whining and do something... I just feel defeated.

i wish i knew how to make it better hun. im in a simular boat tbh. no matter how hard i try i struggle to lose weight. have you spoken to your gp at all? you sound very down and depressed which isnt a good road to go down (ive been a sufferer for 12 years so i should know lol) is there anyway of talking to your husband about things or a friend? feel free to message me if you want as well im always happy to listen if you need it. hope things get better hun x *sending big hugs*

Koldnomore

First..your husband would watch porn even if you were slender. The fact that he blows you off to do it ..THIS is HIS problem, not yours. Don't make yourself responsible for his 'infidelities'. You gained 100 lbs bearing HIS children. You have moved yourself across the world to raise them.. the least he could do is show you a little respect by not doing that in front of you (or instead of you).

There has to be a reason for YOU to want to lose weight, not to 'make your husband happy'. Until you have a reason that resonates to your soul, it will be hard to stick to. When you find that reason then nothing will be able to stop you!. Yes, it's hard..but we are all here to help you. Take advantage of the support you can find here to make little changes (baby steps!). It gets easier, but don't try to change EVERYTHING all at once.. maybe this is why you give up?

StephDuffney

You need to find out what will get you to do it. My last straw was when dh told me I had 1 year to lose the weight or i was out the door. He dose not what to see me die at 40.

I started out at 324 and down 10 pounds in two weeks. I work my back side off 5 days a week in the gym just to lose those 10 pounds.

AJ_Pete

Alright, for me, feeling defeated wasn't enough to do something because when you feel defeated, you have no fight in you. You have to feel sick of feeling defeated.... you have to feel like there is no other option. I'm sorry, but you may have to hit 300 before it becomes something that REALLY affects you to the point that you're FINALLY ready to tackle it. There has to be a fire lit within you to do this.

Don't think of it as a HUGE task to lose this weight. Baby steps. Drink only water.... take walks.... make small changes until you're 100% mentally ready.

acstansell

I understand - I was there too. 281 at 30 years old. But I didn't hit my breaking point.

Have you? If you have, then you get pissed off at yourself enough that you make the commitment and you find the motivation to stick to it. And it becomes second nature.

So, think about that - if you've hit the breaking point. If you feel you have -ask yourself what you're afraid of? The work, the commitment? The change that you will have to commit to?

Once you figure that out, you won't stop... nothing will stop you.

gdrmuzak

You mention 2 issues that need to be addressed separately. First, your weight - only you can do something about that. There are two kinds of pain...that which hurts and that which changes. What do you want? MFP is a great tool to use because it's easy and straight forward...make it a game. As someone else mentioned, find out why you decide to quit. Your food and lack of discipline is a symptom of something inside, face it.

Second, your husband's issue is a separate issue. You could lose as much weight as you want and that won't change what's going on in him so don't "put that monkey on your back". He needs to face it by himself and you both need to face it as a couple since it's hurting your relationship.

msbunnie68

It may help you to start out slower - bring your weight loss target in to something more tangible and make it one that you can reach in a reasonable amount of time - try aiming for something like 10 pounds in 12 weeks or an amount you think you can handle. Hitting that 10 pounds will be such an achievement. Then rejig your goals for another 10 or 15. Give yourself small concrete steps. Break down your weight loss goal so it doesn't seem so overwhelming to you. Reaching a goal gives you reward. Reward builds self esteem. Instead of seeing your weightloss as a hill to battle up make it a staircase with your goal to achieve the next step not the whole flight all at once.

Hugs x

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Sounds to me like you need to pair your new desired lifestyle with some therapy. You're in a self destructive cycle and need help in overcoming it. You aren't going to find your answers on here, only within yourself, and you have to be in a place where you really want the answers. I also suggest you find a challenge group on here for support, most challenges go anywhere from 4 - 8 weeks and you're teamed up with up to 8 people. It offers a really nice community of support.

Amo_Angelus

When you feel like giving up, keep going! Add me for support if you wish.

lavieboheme1229

I think the problem a lot of people think is that they have to be perfect starting from day one. and after a week or two, perfection becomes overwhelming and they become unable to keep it up. So they throw their hands in the air and say "Screw it all!".

But here is the thing about maintainable weight loss. It is NOT a black and white situation. There is a whole hell of a lot of grey area when it comes to "what can I eat today". That is the beauty of MFP. You have a budget of 1600 calories. Pretend that's cash. You have $1600 in your bank account to spend on what you need today. Are you going to by 16 pairs of $100 shoes (veggies) 8 pairs of $200 shoes (bread) or one pair of $1600 diamond studded, the most beautiful shoes you have ever seen in your life (a whole bag of potato chips)? (I like shoes )

Your first thought may be the whole bag of potato chips. Fine, have that be your decision. But then you realize those shoes only go with one outfit, and you can't wear the same pair of shoes for the rest of your life, and you're hungry! So the next day, you make different food decisions. And then you learn different things you can make, small substitutions you can make in your recipes. And before you know it, you can have a serving of chips, and still not ruin your whole day.

Then the weight starts falling off. You feel better about yourself, your clothes are looser. You have more energy. And then you think, you know what, I'm going for a walk this afternoon! And you do, and walking leads to workout DVDs and weights, and biking, and maybe even running.

Now you are really feeling better about yourself. You start hiking on the weekend, going for family bike rides. You try and do situps during commercials when watching TV. You don't watch as much TV as you used to. Certain foods make sick to your stomach now. You are stronger. You have more self confidence. You stand up straighter.

And TADA! Your whole lifestyle has changed for the better. It all doesn't happen at once. And it isn't perfect. But you need to be able to do this FOR EVER! You are marrying the idea of being fit and healthy. It needs to become part of who you are.

Be strong and good luck. Every single time you take a bite, you have the ability to make a new decision about your health.

traveller888

Don't quit! You can do it. You look like a great person and it just takes time. Just set your goals low at the beginning and let your body and mind get used to it. I'm so the person that wants to lose it and quickly, but slow and steady wins the race. Also treat yourself! Try a mini goal to cut out something and reward yourself with something you like (that's at least somewhat good for you). When you reach the goal, smile and feel good about getting that treat!

Remember, this is not a "diet" that you go on and then are done. This is your diet of food and your lifestyle. It takes awhile to change something like that.

PetulantOne

Start out small! How much are you eating when you are on the wagon, so to speak? Making to drastic of a change can hurt our efforts. I started out by just logging my food, all of it. I did that for awhile before I got up the courage to start changing. And then I went down to 2,000 calories a day, and started making a little healthier choices. When that was easy for me I dropped my cals a little bit more and started focusing on macros, and exercising a little. Four months in and almost 20 pounds down, and I'm just now getting serious about exercise. I'm starting a weight lifting program today actually, and just started C25K last week.

My point is, I know for me if I try to do too much at once, I get overwhelmed and end up quitting. If you're mind is made up that you want to change, you can, just take it slow. And I promise the little victories will make you feel better. The first day I was able to only drink 1 small soda, I was so proud of myself! (I was drinking at least 2 64 oz dr peppers a day:noway: ) All the little stuff really boosted my confidence. I was also having problems with my husband, but I realised it was me. I felt so bad about myself that I was neglecting him. It wasn't his fault. Since I lost some weight our sex life has improved greatly. :blushing: But because I feel more willing because I'm happier with my self. You can do this my dear.

eksproductions

Food can be an addiction, you need to surrender to it and you will overcome it.

Phaedra2014

So, Im 23 and almost 300lbs... I dont want to hit that... I try everything.. I dont know what is wrong with me or my brain? I can go strong for a week or 2 and then I quit... whats wrong with me?? Im usually very social and outgoing.. and I feel myself becoming very angry at people and sad and crying often.. and now to top it off.. my husband would rather watch porn than be with me... I dont know what to do Im sorry if I sound like a cry baby.. I know most of you will tell me to quit whining and do something... I just feel defeated.

See an endocrinologist and a therapist.

Take your life back.

sladamssr

Hi HannahK,

First of all I really do hope you feel better emotionally and do better physically. So 2 things that I think might help.

1.) You need to value yourself. When you don’t value yourself, it is easy to be derailed in any effort in which the end goal is something good for you. Placing value on yourself and making you a priority will help you to make time for you. You said that you “quit,” and you are experiencing negative emotions “often.” You might need to see a doctor for depression if you feel so inclined or you could be experiencing some self-defeating behaviors. Check out a blog post I wrote on that, it might help. http://myepiphanytoday.blogspot.com/2011/10/destroying-destructive-behavior.html

2.) Your husband’s issues with porn have little to do with you. When a man looks at porn, HE is looking at porn. If caught he will tell you whatever he feels is a good thing to tell you so that he can go on without feeling guilty. It’s not that you are not attractive. You could be the girl on the screen and there would be another girl on the screen he’ll watch. In my opinion looking at porn messes with a dude psyche as it concerns sex and body image. But it also affect your psyche too, knowing he is watching it and not spending time with you. If the porn use bothers you, and it should, tell him how doing that makes you feel and ask him to stop. He might try to wiggle around it and say something like everyone does it or something. Just stick to your guns, “I don’t like when you look at porn. It makes me feel less beautiful than I am and I feel that you are getting your needs met from something other than me. Please stop it.” Very few husbands generally want to do anything that will make their wives and family uncomfortable. He will stop, get belligerent or start to hide it. If he has trouble letting go he might have an issue.

I truly hope this helps and I hope you feel better. You can lose weight. You can make yourself a priority and you can ask that others do as well. Don’t let your husband’s issues make you lose focus on what truly matters—you.

Sean

Heather_Rider

So, Im 23 and almost 300lbs... I dont want to hit that... I try everything.. I dont know what is wrong with me or my brain? I can go strong for a week or 2 and then I quit... whats wrong with me?? Im usually very social and outgoing.. and I feel myself becoming very angry at people and sad and crying often.. and now to top it off.. my husband would rather watch porn than be with me... I dont know what to do Im sorry if I sound like a cry baby.. I know most of you will tell me to quit whining and do something... I just feel defeated.

First off, stop thinking you are "almost" 300 pounds. Weigh yourself and thats what you weigh. No more, no less. You weigh X amount. Dont add weight to yourself than you arent.

You husband watches porn most likely because your self esteem is lacking, which makes you lack in the bedroom. Harsh sounding? Maybe, but think about it... probably true? find yourself covering up instead of going buck wild on his *kitten*? yep.. I did that too... Men like confidence. THAT will come back.. but its up to you to change that part of it. You can talk to him.. but ultimately, they think with their you know whats when it comes to that.. so, you can handle it, (depending on how you feel about porn in general.) if it was a no go before... it should be a no go NOW... that does not change, period. If that was something you allowed in your relationship before.. chances again are that you are overly sensitive to it now.. yep, ive been there too. I feeel ya honey. (((hugs)))

As far as the rest of the stuff.. again, its harsh but ultimately, its kind of like smoking.. when you finally decide its time.. and no one can tell you "hey, its time... lets go!" then you will. No one can tell YOU when you are ready. No one can motivate YOU enough to do it. You hear everyone saying when was your "light bulb moment" or your "changing moment" well, everyones is different. For me.. its kind of funny, but mine wasnt even a moment for me!!!

My best friend started this new bueiness adventure with these shake mixes, and i used to never eat... like ever. a 300-400 calorie supper.. but i drank A LOT of beer, like 18 a night. (lots of calories in that stuff!) so i was over weight. (along with all my medical problems.. at 35, that plays a toll on you.. so yeah, alcoholism came along) but anyhoo.. i wanted to support her new business adventure, as I *always* have.. so i became her first customer. Bought a three month supply to give her a decent first check.. and figured.. well, i bought it.. aint gonna let it sit here. Wasnt bad tasting, so i poured it down my throat for a week. Lost 6 pounds. WOAH. Hey, couldnt hurt to keep it up, right? Well, i drank them for about a month before i got bored, but in the mean time i found MFP.. and all the great people here, and buy then I was on my way to losing! So i figured.. im a month in.. why the hell not keep going!!! 90 days later (well like 105 days no, but i got sick and injured my knee.. ) but 90 days later ive lost a mear 26.6 pounds.. BUT... an amazing 35.5 inches and........... drumroll please!!!!!!!!! Ive gone from a TIGHT size 20 to an (also tight) but a size friggin 14 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?!?!

I mean, i still kind of look like a greased up seal in them, but HEY!! 90 days ago, i couldnt get them over my KNEES! And all ive done is watch my calories.. use the elliptical (you can walk if you like) for 10-15 minutes 3 times a day (do you watch a 30 minutes program once or twice a day, then you can find time to even march in place... ) and if you wash dishes, cook, brush your teeth, fold laundry, or basically do any house hold chore.. you can do leg and belly exercises.. i go up and down on my toes 15 times - 30 times (startes slow of course) while doing dishes.. twice a day thendid standing crunches while in the shower.. and do squats (hard on knees.. started doing these after 2 months of elliptical & walking with knee braces & some weight came off.. helped A LOT) while doing dishes or cooking.. just 5-10 squats at first.. and not REAL low, but enough. if it started burning, i stopped. then did that amount again later in the day.. the next day, i went up by ONE. Because you arent really "working them hard" you can do them every day when you start. You are "just" reaching your limit, but not darre going over.. because when you start out at first.. who the hell wants to really hurt? that would make you stop...

I was the queen of excuses.. now im the queeen of NO excuses! LOL!

Onee more thing.. (i know, long winded, sorry! LOL!) When walking, or if you decide to jog or WHATEVER. you legs WILL feel weak. even a seasoned runner will tell you this. but after 5-10 minutes, they will stop! (this will happpen if you run 1 day or 1000 days!) Just remember your legs have to warm up, just like your car!)

Please feel free to send me a friend request! Good luck and I know you can do this!!! You have taken the first step, and Im here for you, I believe in you and I know you believe in yourself.. you just gotta do a little soul searchin, diggin and peepin around! You will start to find you again... believe it or not... its hidden under less pounds than you think it is!!

:flowerforyou:



~Heather

Lilylee757

I dont know if this was already posted but honestly dont give up. Pick up the book by Chris Powell, Choose to Lose. It is the easiest plan to follow. You don't feel like you are on a diet. I back it wholeheartedly, I have never been able to stick to anything for more than a week. There is also a message board group on here for support and there is a great bunch of people on it.

OhioViking79

I know how you feel - or at least i imagine i do - i hit 270 at 26 and thought i'd never feel good about myself ever again. Looking at pictures of myself became my breaking point and at the same time my motivation - i was usually ashamed at the pictures, but then there was that one that just tore my heart out ... and i decided then and there that this was it! There would never be another one like it. I have quit - several times - i've been down and up again, but trust me, it is so worth it in the end. As for the husband, he might not feel the same way about you as you do - are you pushing him away because of how you feel about yourself? i know i did, and the result was much the same. Once i got my confidence back up and acctually wanted to be with him again, the issue went away. Porn might just be his way of compensating - don't make it the culprit without acctually talking to him about it first.
Feel free to add me if you'd like! More friend make for more motivation!

MrsLVF

So, Im 23 and almost 300lbs... I dont want to hit that... I try everything.. I dont know what is wrong with me or my brain? I can go strong for a week or 2 and then I quit... whats wrong with me?? Im usually very social and outgoing.. and I feel myself becoming very angry at people and sad and crying often.. and now to top it off.. my husband would rather watch porn than be with me... I dont know what to do Im sorry if I sound like a cry baby.. I know most of you will tell me to quit whining and do something... I just feel defeated.

You need to try not quitting

And don't worry about your husbands issues, they are his own.

I hope you make the decision to get healthy for yourself, you deserve it. :flowerforyou:

chez_b

First..your husband would watch porn even if you were slender. The fact that he blows you off to do it ..THIS is HIS problem, not yours. Don't make yourself responsible for his 'infidelities'. You gained 100 lbs bearing HIS children.

Amen.

elizawe

It may help if you open your diary and allow us to look at what you're eating so we can help you make wiser choices. Motivation and support are key and MFP offers both. You have two very good reasons to get healthy and they are both posted on your ticker. Your habits can become the habits of your children. If you are eating poorly and all the wrong things, they are likely to as well.

You can do this! Let us help!