Divorce and emotional eating

MidlifeGlowUp

I know how you feel. When I was going through my divorce, I gained 40 lbs due to emotional eating (that 40 was only the beginning). It was like I went insane for two years of my life. I went from being obsessively fit and active to being a couch potato. My pretty muscles were gone, I had swelled out of my clothes and I ate some more. I finally got control of myself at 220 lbs. That was when I realized that my divorce didn't have to be an ending. It could be the beginning of the amazing, dramatic, adventurous life I've always wanted. I could still have the life I had been preparing for when I guarded my diet so fiercely, and went to my dojo the way other people go to church. When I awoke to that, I realized that I had to rebuild my body to enjoy the thrilling life that was still there waiting for me.

I managed to lose 30 lbs before coming here. I have 45 lbs to go. And I celebrate each mile stone with a new adventure. At 30 lbs, I began flying lessons. At 35 - 40 lbs, I'm going ice climbing. At 50 lbs, I'm going skydiving.

But before any of the magic could happen, I had to take control of my eating. You can do this. Let go of what used to be, and prepare yourself for the beauty of what still can be.

teepeetim

When my wife and I split earlier this year, I went into a deep depression and did the opposite, I stopped eating.
But I took out my frustration by starting to run, and I was not a runner - hated it.
I couldn't run to the end of the 200 ft driveway without coughing up a lung. But I kept at it, not to kill myself, I just did what I could. And I kept doing it. Now I run for fun, I stop running because I am out of time, not out of breath. I eat much better now (not perfect by any means) and MFP has been a huge help.

Now I run every second day and work the weights on the opposite days.

I feel great - I haven't felt this good in decades - literally.

It's tough to get over the emotional hurt, but finding something to do that is good for you could really help.

Tim

jennibee70

When my husband left me, I took to drinking a glass or two of wine every evening. My weight has yoyoed so much over the years I actually can't remember now if I lost or gained at that time. I know I emotionally ate several times last year when my then boyfriend, the first really since the break-up, started jerking me around. It took me a couple of years after my husband left to suddenly look at myself and think "when did my life stop being fun?". I took up aikido and belly-dancing the very next week. I lost three stone and gained about 10 good friends. I feel less hungry when I've exercised too. It doesn't have to be exercise though, I would recommend finding something that you enjoy, that's for you as an individual. Hugs though - sounds like a lot of us have been through it, we know how you feel.

Siege_Tank

1. Log everything you've eaten.
2. Own it.
3. Go work it off.

BEST.. ADVICE... EVAR!!

.....

quirkytizzy

My heart goes out to you.

I chose to divorce my husband at 27, due to some of the issues that you talked about in your original thread. It was devastating even to me - while I knew we weren't going to work out, I was still losing a support system (him, his family, our home, everything) that I had spent a decade building up. Just because you were the one who left does not mean that it won't hurt. It does. It hurts A LOT.

The next two years were so painful. I was thrown for a world of confusion and loss. And I had to worry, too, struggle with the constant, looming self-doubt that I had done something wrong. I hadn't, but I was scared I did.

It's been three years now. The pain has eased. The sorrow and loss and confusion has moved into it's proper place and I am no longer actively hurting about it. It takes time. But you will get through this. Time heals. I promise.

Stay the course. Keep in contact with your trusted ones. Don't be afraid of what you are feeling, even if it is crazy and hurtful and depressing. It will get better. It will.

grassette

I`m not in favor of divorce, because it the end, it does not really change the fact that he is the father of your children, and you have to have a relationship with him forever because of that.

Divorce is promoted too frequently as a solution when it simply brings its own set of problems. It is the most easily broken contract there is, and that is what is the shame of it. No one tells you about the pain, and the fact that you are going to suffer.

Life is made up of duties and obligations to others. We are never free of them, as much as we want to be. And if we tilt too much in that direction, we create suffering all around us.

But you are young, and life is full of hard knocks. Live and learn. Grow in wisdom, not easily acquired. And do everything you can to re-establish a positive relationship with your hurting ex.

0fuchsially

I`m not in favor of divorce, because it the end, it does not really change the fact that he is the father of your children, and you have to have a relationship with him forever because of that.

Divorce is promoted too frequently as a solution when it simply brings its own set of problems. It is the most easily broken contract there is, and that is what is the shame of it. No one tells you about the pain, and the fact that you are going to suffer.

Life is made up of duties and obligations to others. We are never free of them, as much as we want to be. And if we tilt too much in that direction, we create suffering all around us.

But you are young, and life is full of hard knocks. Live and learn. Grow in wisdom, not easily acquired. And do everything you can to re-establish a positive relationship with your hurting ex.

Sometimes divorce is the best solution. I am a product of divorce. My parents divorced when I was at a very young age. I can't remember a happy moment of them together. They were always fighting, and as a kid I did not feel safe. Now that I'm older, I'm glad they had a divorce. They maintain a good relationship now, well, on and off. But ironically, sometimes they get along better than when they were married. I am not saying it's the best solution without any consequences. As a kid, I did feel a void from growing up with family problems and divorce; I still suffer from emotional eating. But I think it was for the best. Little or no hostility between my parents is better than the constant hostility they were in.

ReginaM49

You will get through this.... buts its a process. It will take time. Don't beat yourself up on top of the emotional pain you are going through with the divorce. I've been there and it does get better. I joined a single parent's group..... and made friendships that have lasted for 15 years now. Sitting home alone to dwell on things is the worst thing. Get out there and do something new. Join a group, take up a new activity and give yourself some time to heal. Slowly you will feel stronger and begin to get back on track eating right and exercising. Take care.

cutmd

Sorry to bp this old thread but it seems like the kind of support I was looking for. I have started the process of divorcing my serial cheating emotionally abusive ex (not sure what else grassette would suggest since he won't go to counseling). It was already getting hard to work out with my toddler around. Now all I want to do is lay around and eat carbs. It's terrible. I know I'll feel worse if I continue to gain weight but I feel out of control with no energy to exercise. I know it's from depression cause I wanted my family to stay intact so badly. Just hoping for more advice/support and maybe to meet others in the same position so we can help each other

tatianna68

1. Log everything you've eaten.
2. Own it.
3. Go work it off.

BEST.. ADVICE... EVER!!

.....

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