Am I just being old-fashioned?

Options
24

Replies

  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
    Options
    *sigh* Some women just CANNOT be alone for more than five seconds. Even if they have kids. It only leads to trouble.

    You're not being old-fashioned. All of her plans seem whacked to me...
  • jus_in_bello
    jus_in_bello Posts: 326 Member
    Options
    I can't really imagine taking my children to another country to meet a man I've never met in person. I don't even have children. I have seen TAKEN and I just think that is a really bad idea. Maybe she should just go on a little holiday with the kids instead...
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    Options
    Okay sooo.

    No one has ever taken their kids out of the country on vacation? (Cruises, trips to cancun, eurpoe?)
    No one has ever moved with kids? (Jobs, army brats?)
    No one has ever run from a hard situation by leaving the town it happened? (Accident, death, rape, abuse?)

    Is it just because she's meeting a man over the internet that bothers you?
    Did she say she is moving today to another country?

    I've meet lots of people online and I'm still alive. Think a bit before you judge someone elses life.

    ETA: you say the kids lost their father a few months ago, but the couple have been dating a year. This means their father and mother haven't been together in a very long time.
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
    Options
    Lol, yes very whacked. The thing that confuses us is A told the man she's going to meet/marry that her and her husband had split up when she found out that he and my friend had split, then when her husband was killed in the accident everything points to them still being together at the time, so she's either lying to my friend's ex, or to all the family and friends back home.
    From what I can see she got a generous insurance payout when the husband died and has a beneficiary fund set up for her and the kids (thanks google), and that's where she's getting all the money from to be so generous and go travelling.
    All seems very dodgy to me, even my friend's ex has said that he's been told it seems to be to good to be true and he does wonder. But he also is the sort who can't be alone.
    Well it's all happening very soon so I'll be sure to keep you all updated, =/
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
    Options
    Okay sooo.

    No one has ever taken their kids out of the country on vacation? (Cruises, trips to cancun, eurpoe?)
    No one has ever moved with kids? (Jobs, army brats?)
    No one has ever run from a hard situation by leaving the town it happened? (Accident, death, rape, abuse?)

    Is it just because she's meeting a man over the internet that bothers you?
    Did she say she is moving today to another country?

    I've meet lots of people online and I'm still alive. Think a bit before you judge someone elses life.

    ETA: you say the kids lost their father a few months ago, but the couple have been dating a year. This means their father and mother haven't been together in a very long time.

    See my above post about whether or not the parents were in fact separated.
    My concern is she's taking them overseas, to another country, to meet with and stay with, with her two young children, a man she has not met before, and while I know this man is not a danger how does she? AND they have already told both his kids and her kids (all four kids aged between 8y and 11y) that they're going to get married and be one big happy family, when they haven't even met in person yet. And her kids father only died 3mths ago. The marriage discussions started about a week after the husband was killed.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Options
    Well I'm not sure the real situation is. It doesn't sound like anybody does.

    However you seem a bit judgey. Sometimes things aren't as bad, and people aren't as bad as you make them to be.

    I hope you know, sometime in your life you will be judged just as harshly and people will be dead wrong.
  • Softrbreeze
    Softrbreeze Posts: 156 Member
    Options
    Sounds like they're pretty desperate. That's absolutely disgusting to do that to your children. good grief!
  • momof2TONI
    momof2TONI Posts: 116
    Options
    Not old-fashioned. I knew a woman who drove all the way from Canada to Texas to pickup a guy she had been talking to on the internet for several months. She was taking him back to Canada to stay with her and her 3 kids. When they reached the border, Canada wouldn't let him enter the country because he had a criminal record - for child molestation!! People, BE CAREFUL. I mean, what was this woman thinking????
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    Options
    Okay sooo.

    No one has ever taken their kids out of the country on vacation? (Cruises, trips to cancun, eurpoe?)
    No one has ever moved with kids? (Jobs, army brats?)
    No one has ever run from a hard situation by leaving the town it happened? (Accident, death, rape, abuse?)

    Is it just because she's meeting a man over the internet that bothers you?
    Did she say she is moving today to another country?

    I've meet lots of people online and I'm still alive. Think a bit before you judge someone elses life.

    ETA: you say the kids lost their father a few months ago, but the couple have been dating a year. This means their father and mother haven't been together in a very long time.

    I have taken my kids on vacation, but have never taken them with me to meet a virtual stranger

    I have moved with kids. With a secure job, place to live, and things in order

    I have left town before... knowing full well what is on the other end.

    I have met lots of on-line people as well, but I never took my kids with me!!

    Am I being judgemental? Yes! These kids just lost their dad and now their mom is taking them to a foreign country away from everything and everyone they know, so their mom can shack up with some dude she's never met in person.
    krazy!

    can everything turn out fine? absolutely, but it's krazy to put your kids at risk!
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    Options
    See my above post about whether or not the parents were in fact separated.
    My concern is she's taking them overseas, to another country, to meet with and stay with, with her two young children, a man she has not met before, and while I know this man is not a danger how does she? AND they have already told both his kids and her kids (all four kids aged between 8y and 11y) that they're going to get married and be one big happy family, when they haven't even met in person yet. And her kids father only died 3mths ago. The marriage discussions started about a week after the husband was killed.

    It is possible that there has been no love there for a lot longer then "if they were/were not seperated" argument. Obviously both of them felt it for a while before they seperated. This is why people seperate to begin with.

    My current love lives in another country, we've been together over a year and we had to meet for a first time. There has been many subsequent visits because we make a great couple.

    I'm not attacking your concern personally, I just want you to see that there are other sides of the story. Its never too much to be concerned, but to post in a public place about a randome person's personal life, its obvious you wanted everyone to agree you were in the right.

    Life sometimes happens faster then we want to accept it and I think you need to take a step back and realize that sometimes change comes quick.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    Options
    Well I'm not sure the real situation is. It doesn't sound like anybody does.

    This. We only have a snippet from one side of the story. And we all know there are always 3 sides to every story.
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
    Options
    I didn't post this to get people to agree with me, I'm just struggling to see the other side of the story and wanted to at least try.

    My husband is ex-military, I do understand long distance relationships, he has been deployed overseas twice.

    I haven't put in any personal details in this thread that would lead to anyone finding out who I am talking about.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Options
    Well I'm not sure the real situation is. It doesn't sound like anybody does.

    This. We only have a snippet from one side of the story. And we all know there are always 3 sides to every story.
    And some people LOVE to gossip. I have to wonder if her real concern is concern or just wanting to gossip.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    Options
    Not old-fashioned. I knew a woman who drove all the way from Canada to Texas to pickup a guy she had been talking to on the internet for several months. She was taking him back to Canada to stay with her and her 3 kids. When they reached the border, Canada wouldn't let him enter the country because he had a criminal record - for child molestation!! People, BE CAREFUL. I mean, what was this woman thinking????

    Obviously there are bad stories of people who meet people online. Aren't there just as many good ones? Things like this (if you have half a brain) can be avoided with a simple name and birthday search on google.
  • momof2TONI
    momof2TONI Posts: 116
    Options
    Not old-fashioned. I knew a woman who drove all the way from Canada to Texas to pickup a guy she had been talking to on the internet for several months. She was taking him back to Canada to stay with her and her 3 kids. When they reached the border, Canada wouldn't let him enter the country because he had a criminal record - for child molestation!! People, BE CAREFUL. I mean, what was this woman thinking????

    Obviously there are bad stories of people who meet people online. Aren't there just as many good ones? Things like this (if you have half a brain) can be avoided with a simple name and birthday search on google.

    Yes, key words here are: if you have half a brain. lol.... But I will agree there are some good stories too.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Options
    I didn't post this to get people to agree with me, I'm just struggling to see the other side of the story and wanted to at least try.

    My husband is ex-military, I do understand long distance relationships, he has been deployed overseas twice.

    I haven't put in any personal details in this thread that would lead to anyone finding out who I am talking about.
    At the risk of being totally blasted in this thread.. I'll give you some insight and probably regret it.
    I was separated from my ex. We were living in the same house.. blah blah. For financial reasons we stayed in the same house. I met my fiance online. My children were very young. We spent 6 months getting to know eachother, and yes there was almost immediate talk of one of us moving. Almost immediate talk of me moving.
    I did google him, and look into him and make certain he was somebody I could trust. I'd also known him for years before. The first night we met my children were not there. He didn't meet them until the next day.
    The entire time, all our talk was of family. There wasn't anything dirty, or wrong about it. Sometimes love is like that.
    Now I don't know all of this womans story, but nor do you.

    I had people gossip and tell lies and speculate and drag a very good person through the mud. And it's a hard thing.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    Options
    I have taken my kids on vacation, but have never taken them with me to meet a virtual stranger

    I have moved with kids. With a secure job, place to live, and things in order

    I have left town before... knowing full well what is on the other end.

    I have met lots of on-line people as well, but I never took my kids with me!!

    Am I being judgemental? Yes! These kids just lost their dad and now their mom is taking them to a foreign country away from everything and everyone they know, so their mom can shack up with some dude she's never met in person.
    krazy!

    can everything turn out fine? absolutely, but it's krazy to put your kids at risk!

    I can agree with your first point, but I don't see meeting someone on vacation as super extreme. At least she's talked to this man for a long time and is not just meating him randomly on a cruise ship or island. Haven't you ever struck up a "one time friendship" with someone in the next room at your hotel or a friendly beach goer?

    Some people move with a whim and a dream. I have and now I run a small business. I didn't have ANY security when I left home. Not everyone needs security to move.

    Again I've moved 3 times (about to be 4) just because its exciting and new.

    I think I would feel better meeting a complete stranger with 4 kids in tow then all by myself. Its a lot easier to kidnap all of us.

    ETA: we don't know anything about this man. Maybe he has kids of his own, a firm, steady financial income and is a real family oriented person. To infer that all she wants to do is "shack up" with him is assuming many things.
  • emaren
    emaren Posts: 934 Member
    Options
    Moving to a different country is brutally difficult.

    Dragging children with you will put a huge strain in that relationship.

    Moving to a different country to be with someone you have never met ?

    Totally dumb.

    What she needs to do is this....

    Go 'out there' on her own for a couple of weeks, leaving the lids a relative...

    If it all works out well, a couple of months later - say Christmas - take the kids to spend the holidays there...

    If that goes well, then maybe talk of moving might be less stupid......
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    Options
    Not old-fashioned. I knew a woman who drove all the way from Canada to Texas to pickup a guy she had been talking to on the internet for several months. She was taking him back to Canada to stay with her and her 3 kids. When they reached the border, Canada wouldn't let him enter the country because he had a criminal record - for child molestation!! People, BE CAREFUL. I mean, what was this woman thinking????

    Obviously there are bad stories of people who meet people online. Aren't there just as many good ones? Things like this (if you have half a brain) can be avoided with a simple name and birthday search on google.

    Yes, key words here are: if you have half a brain. lol.... But I will agree there are some good stories too.

    Thank you. I, personally, am one of the good stories. :)
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
    Options
    Well I'm not sure the real situation is. It doesn't sound like anybody does.

    This. We only have a snippet from one side of the story. And we all know there are always 3 sides to every story.
    And some people LOVE to gossip. I have to wonder if her real concern is concern or just wanting to gossip.

    I can assure you having been the victim of gossip before I am definitely not a gossip, I don't even follow celebrity news, there are several "juicy" details that are part of what's going on but irrelevant to what I'm after so I have left out as I simply wanted to try to see the other side of the story.
    I have (as mentioned in the MFP fraud thread earlier) met people in person that I've met online before.

Categories