Eating Disorder Recovery

little_silver_bell

Its kind of sad how insensitive people are about eating disorders. I just joined yesterday and have already recieved hate. I am recovering from an eating disorder and my weight loss goal is still low, but higher than it was before. My goal weight before was 62 pounds, now its 80-120. Most people with eating disorders have unrealistic goals or they just dont care what happens to them. Its hard to recover very hard. It takes a while for the person to move away from there unhealthy habits.

Its very understandable if your mad because there are so many young girls on this site that starve themselves, its heartbreaking(doesnt mean be a jackask). I was one of those girls at 13 (not on this site) and at 9 years old I purged for the first time. Im 18 now Ive been recovering for 2 years and havent made alot of progress. Im still trying becuase I believe that I have control not the bad thoughts that used to consume me.

I think everyone should be supportive of the girls and guys that are trying to recover from unhealthy habits. Not hated upon

Dont go around calling a guy disgusting for logging his 4500 calorie binge eating, hes trying to get better.
Dont say youre deleting a girl that is recovering from anorexia because she messes up one day
Dont tell the guy thats recovering from bulimia that hes a failure because he binged and purge

This doesnt mean be pro-eating disorders and encourage them to mess up or fail again. Encourage them to get better or remind them that they can get through this

bathsheba_c

I'm glad you're trying to get better. However, I would caution you that it looks like you may be using the website as a tool to enable your disordered habits. The first is that your goal weight is still unhealthy. The second is the level of detail you put into describing your physical goals. Please discuss with your therapist whether it is a good idea for you to be using the site, and if you're not actively in treatment, please seek treatment. Your health is too important. Good luck!

fwalz3

I have never understood why, particularly on this site, that those who undereat are shunned while those who overeat are supported. Aren't we all here because we want to eat healthy and look better? In my opinion, overeating is just as dangerous an eating disorder as undereating and deserves the same kind of support.

little_silver_bell

Thanks alot Yes my therapist does know I'm counting calories again and that I still have body image goals. The deal was they have the password and have the ability to delete it if they feel nessasary. I also have to report binges\purges

little_silver_bell

Agreed but you shouldn't say good job to a person who eats 3000 calories nor to a person that eats 200. I think it should only apply if you're trying to get better

bathsheba_c

Okay, glad to hear it! And thanks for reminding everyone that some people join MFP in order to manage or help recover from eating disorders. Sometimes people forget and make nasty comments under the assumption that the writer is a typical dieter.

Aviva92

I have never understood why, particularly on this site, that those who undereat are shunned while those who overeat are supported. Aren't we all here because we want to eat healthy and look better? In my opinion, overeating is just as dangerous an eating disorder as undereating and deserves the same kind of support.

Well, if an underweight person put that their goal was to become obese, I'd question that too. She's actually at the weight and height that I started at with 5'4" and 140. Putting that her goal is to be 80 pounds is just as shocking as an underweight person who has a goal to be 200 pounds. It just doesn't make any sense. The goal should at least be a healthy one. Falling off the wagon might happen and people shouldn't be mocked for that in any way. Not controlling your eating habits is a different story entirely, but if it's your goal to do it then I'm going to question it. If she had a more reasonable goal within the BMI normal range of 108 and over, then I wouldn't question it.

Meg_78

@ bathsheba_c, I'm not sure how you can describe her goals as unhealthy as it is already a huge step above her earlier goal as mentioned in her OP. It is also not too dissimilar from my goal weigh range (110-120) and I am in fact a gainer so I came form even less.

I'm not in recovery form anything, but I can't deny, that looking back at my history with food that I didn't have (and still have) ED tendencies, as well as a pretty messed up hyper-drive metabolism.

Add me if you like, I'm happy to support.

Aviva92

@ bathsheba_c, I'm not sure how you can describe her goals as unhealthy as it is already a huge step above her earlier goal as mentioned in her OP. It is also not too dissimilar from my goal weigh range (110-120) and I am in fact a gainer so I came form even less.

I'm not in recovery form anything, but I can't deny, that looking back at my history with food that I didn't have (and still have) ED tendencies, as well as a pretty messed up hyper-drive metabolism.

Add me if you like, I'm happy to support.

a goal of 5'4" and 80 pounds which is the lower bound of her targetted range is not healthy. your goal weight range is healthy.

emmyelleNYC

Nicely said! Feel free to add me for support!

jess1992uga

I too and using this site to recover from an eating disorder. At first to log calories to meet a minimum required by my nutritionist, but that got too ED related for me and my nutritionist moved me to an exchange based system. Honestly I would say find a nutritionist who you can work with who can show you how to use calorie counting in a healthy way or give you an alternative.

This site reminds me a lot of the world some times. People are going to dislike people who are different, it is just a reality. And people who haven't had eating disorders many times don't understand the painful process eating becomes. They don't understand that it is NOT a choice, but an illness like anything else.

I think sometimes people lash out because they are just so scared. This is the deadliest psychological disorder to have and people see us using our behaviors and get scared. They just want what is better for us, but their fear gets the best and they lash out.

I know how scary it is, how alone you can feel sometimes, but recovery is possible. It's not overnight and it's a long journey, but I know people who are fully recovered. I am on the path now, and sure I stumble, sure I get scared when my weight moves in the direction it needs too (I am underweight), but I learn from each slip and try and cope with the emotions.

Good luck on your journey. Remember no matter what people say you know you best. Just be open with your team and with yourself and you will find the joy, happiness, and life you deserve.

little_silver_bell

I have never understood why, particularly on this site, that those who undereat are shunned while those who overeat are supported. Aren't we all here because we want to eat healthy and look better? In my opinion, overeating is just as dangerous an eating disorder as undereating and deserves the same kind of support.

Well, if an underweight person put that their goal was to become obese, I'd question that too. She's actually at the weight and height that I started at with 5'4" and 140. Putting that her goal is to be 80 pounds is just as shocking as an underweight person who has a goal to be 200 pounds. It just doesn't make any sense. The goal should at least be a healthy one. Falling off the wagon might happen and people shouldn't be mocked for that in any way. Not controlling your eating habits is a different story entirely, but if it's your goal to do it then I'm going to question it. If she had a more reasonable goal within the BMI normal range of 108 and over,
then I wouldn't question it.


Ignorance is bliss my friend

Aviva92

I have never understood why, particularly on this site, that those who undereat are shunned while those who overeat are supported. Aren't we all here because we want to eat healthy and look better? In my opinion, overeating is just as dangerous an eating disorder as undereating and deserves the same kind of support.

Well, if an underweight person put that their goal was to become obese, I'd question that too. She's actually at the weight and height that I started at with 5'4" and 140. Putting that her goal is to be 80 pounds is just as shocking as an underweight person who has a goal to be 200 pounds. It just doesn't make any sense. The goal should at least be a healthy one. Falling off the wagon might happen and people shouldn't be mocked for that in any way. Not controlling your eating habits is a different story entirely, but if it's your goal to do it then I'm going to question it. If she had a more reasonable goal within the BMI normal range of 108 and over,
then I wouldn't question it.


Ignorance is bliss my friend

you used the quote feature incorrectly, but I'm ignorant to say that 80 pounds is not healthy for a 5'4" woman?

mistyblue1963

whatever eating disorder we suffer from..we all need help and support,just don't get it why ppl don't understand and being mean to these young girls really does not help in anyway !!!

stargazer008

I support anyone who wants to go into recovery for an eating disorder. I understand it is tough because there's that voice inside of you telling you not recover. Everyone faces obstacles in recovery. I understand if you have a high calorie day or a very low calorie day like 200 cals because it is part of recovery to fail sometimes and to succeed other times. I wish you well on your recovery.

Meg_78

@ bathsheba_c, I'm not sure how you can describe her goals as unhealthy as it is already a huge step above her earlier goal as mentioned in her OP. It is also not too dissimilar from my goal weigh range (110-120) and I am in fact a gainer so I came form even less.

I'm not in recovery form anything, but I can't deny, that looking back at my history with food that I didn't have (and still have) ED tendencies, as well as a pretty messed up hyper-drive metabolism.

Add me if you like, I'm happy to support.

a goal of 5'4" and 80 pounds which is the lower bound of her targetted range is not healthy. your goal weight range is healthy.

On her page its 100-120. Sorry yes I agree that 80 is not healthy, but all in all, its still healthier than 60.

Aviva92

@ bathsheba_c, I'm not sure how you can describe her goals as unhealthy as it is already a huge step above her earlier goal as mentioned in her OP. It is also not too dissimilar from my goal weigh range (110-120) and I am in fact a gainer so I came form even less.

I'm not in recovery form anything, but I can't deny, that looking back at my history with food that I didn't have (and still have) ED tendencies, as well as a pretty messed up hyper-drive metabolism.

Add me if you like, I'm happy to support.

a goal of 5'4" and 80 pounds which is the lower bound of her targetted range is not healthy. your goal weight range is healthy.

On her page its 100-120. Sorry yes I agree that 80 is not healthy, but all in all, its still healthier than 60.

Apparently she revised her page. Yesterday, it said her goal was 80-120 pounds on her page. That's why I had an issue with it.

little_silver_bell

80 pounds isn't healthy, I know. I go through a daily battle deciding what I want to eat today or don't to have a goal of 80 or a goal of 120

I won't make it to the goal of 80 pounds anyway because I would be in the hospital as soon as my weight goes under 100 pounds

My goal is unrealistic. I keep 100-120 on my profile to remind me to be healthy

tracypk

I have seen ppl on here that start at 300 lbs and set their goals to be just above a healthy weight to start. I've heard them say that if I can get to onederville I'll be happy. It's the same on the other side of things. Being just above a healthy weight is a start and being just below a healthy weight is a start. We are here to support not judge.

buzzcogs

I couldn't agree with you more. Congratulations on fighting your disorder and recovering from it. I can't imagine how hard it must be. I hope you are getting the support you need at home and through counseling.
God Bless!

Its kind of sad how insensitive people are about eating disorders. I just joined yesterday and have already recieved hate. I am recovering from an eating disorder and my weight loss goal is still low, but higher than it was before. My goal weight before was 62 pounds, now its 80-120. Most people with eating disorders have unrealistic goals or they just dont care what happens to them. Its hard to recover very hard. It takes a while for the person to move away from there unhealthy habits.

Its very understandable if your mad because there are so many young girls on this site that starve themselves, its heartbreaking(doesnt mean be a jackask). I was one of those girls at 13 (not on this site) and at 9 years old I purged for the first time. Im 18 now Ive been recovering for 2 years and havent made alot of progress. Im still trying becuase I believe that I have control not the bad thoughts that used to consume me.

I think everyone should be supportive of the girls and guys that are trying to recover from unhealthy habits. Not hated upon

Dont go around calling a guy disgusting for logging his 4500 calorie binge eating, hes trying to get better.
Dont say youre deleting a girl that is recovering from anorexia because she messes up one day
Dont tell the guy thats recovering from bulimia that hes a failure because he binged and purge

This doesnt mean be pro-eating disorders and encourage them to mess up or fail again. Encourage them to get better or remind them that they can get through this

Aviva92

I have seen ppl on here that start at 300 lbs and set their goals to be just above a healthy weight to start. I've heard them say that if I can get to onederville I'll be happy. It's the same on the other side of things. Being just above a healthy weight is a start and being just below a healthy weight is a start. We are here to support not judge.

She's already in the healthy weight range at 140 pounds, but was inititally looking to be almost 30 pounds below the healthy weight range at 80 pounds. That's regressing. That's not a start.

tashaa1992

When I first joined mfp a few years ago I was in recovery but my weight goal was really low too(I was already severely underweight). I have lost friends on mfp along the way because I was relapsing. I have anorexia, I purge too, I have had anorexia from the age of six so I do find it hard to imagine a life without it as it's all I've ever known but I'm trying so hard to get better. It has taken me years to be able to get to the point I am at, I have a long road ahead of me but I try every single day whether people realise it or not.
People are ignorant, alot of people don't even see eating disorders as illnesses but a choice, why would anyone choose this? All you can really do is ignore them, focus on your health and wellbeing. Keep fighting hun, one day we will get there xxx

Jonesingmucho

It gets easier when you can add other things in your life. Look for new hobbies to interest you rather than just food and calories. Try yoga! It requires tons of concentration. Try tennis. It takes time and focus to get good. Learn to play the guitar. Learn Spanish. Food will always be on your mind, but really try to see what else is in the world. You will be amazed once your eyes open. And get some pictures of yourself. Yes, Demi Lovato is amazing, BUT you are too. You need to see yourself in pictures with other people. Good luck sister. I'm cheering for you.

little_silver_bell

I don't see my weight as healthy. 140 might be good for you but not to me

BMI doesn't really matter since people's body structures are different

little_silver_bell

Ya know I've never had someone take a dump in my cereal two days in a row before but it really must suck. I feel bad for you msvalorie I think I would be mad too. But it's sad that you still don't understand

The goal range is low. Yes
My goal is higher than before. Yes
My goal is a range. Yes

It's a mental disorder not a choice

So don't get your panties in a twist because there are 40 other numbers between 80 and 120

I might stop at 118 for all you know

Mini_Medic

I myself have always struggled with binge eating but I never really recognized it as a true disorder until I lost weight (fat people can't possibly have ED's, right?) and now I fluctuate 10lbs up and down depending on if I have a good week or a few bad binge days. My weight loss has stalled because my binges have become more frequent. I will eat and eat and eat 2-8,000+calories some days and force food into my body until I am in pain and very depressed and angry with myself. It isn't even about "cheating" one day, it's like I feel empty and desperately am trying to fill that emptiness. I switch into an eating machine and it doesn't matter what I am eating b/c I don't even taste the food when I am in that mindset. That sucks even worse because I eat tons of unhealthy food and don't even enjoy the tastes that I crave so badly.

People need to realize that underweight or overweight, if we are here, we are all in one way, shape, or form dealing with disordered eating. There is something to be said for people that do not realize that calling the kettle black from the opposite end of the spectrum is not going to be beneficial or encouraging.

Overweight people have struggles to keep their intake low. Underweight people have struggles to keep their intake up to healthy levels.

We all need support, it doesn't matter what condition or label we put on it.

Aviva92

I don't see my weight as healthy. 140 might be good for you but not to me

BMI doesn't really matter since people's body structures are different

I meant it's in the range of healthy. It's healthy. It might not be ideal, but it's healthy. I started at 140 too and agreed that it's not ideal. That's why I decided to lose weight. My point was to have a goal from a healthy (but not necessarily ideal) weight to an unhealthy weight doesn't make sense.

Aviva92

I don't see my weight as healthy. 140 might be good for you but not to me

BMI doesn't really matter since people's body structures are different

BMI matters to an extent in that I don't envision anyone who would be healthy at 80 pounds and 5'4".

cm1458

Its good that you are getting better! Good for you! I too have suffered through eating disorders. I was shown a lot of hate in the beginning, as well. But I stopped allowing those cruel people in my life. I only friended those who are going to be supportive and help me through this. I am currently recovering from Bulimia and BED. I still slip up, but I get better each day. take care and please dont let those people get to you. Feel free to add me :flowerforyou: stay safe

swarovski75

Aw honey, I'm sorry some people suck. My older sister was bulimic, at times anorexic, and hospitalized a few times. I, on the other hand, am a total comfort eater, especially when I am sad, depressed, anxious, tired, whatever... Disordered eating is disordered eating, whether too much or too little. If you are involved with a therapist, and they know what you are doing, you are still working on the mental health piece, and that's what matters. 80 does sound low to me, but higher than 60..so woohoo! Progress. :-) And I feel most comfortable at 170-175 for my 5'6" frame, which is above my recommended BMI, but I'm a big boned girl, and its where I feel beautiful and sexy. I look boyish much thinner, so a bit curvier (but fit) is where I wanna be.

BTW - you are GORGEOUS. :-)

californiagirl2012

Its kind of sad how insensitive people are about eating disorders. I just joined yesterday and have already recieved hate. I am recovering from an eating disorder and my weight loss goal is still low, but higher than it was before. My goal weight before was 62 pounds, now its 80-120. Most people with eating disorders have unrealistic goals or they just dont care what happens to them. Its hard to recover very hard. It takes a while for the person to move away from there unhealthy habits.

Its very understandable if your mad because there are so many young girls on this site that starve themselves, its heartbreaking(doesnt mean be a jackask). I was one of those girls at 13 (not on this site) and at 9 years old I purged for the first time. Im 18 now Ive been recovering for 2 years and havent made alot of progress. Im still trying becuase I believe that I have control not the bad thoughts that used to consume me.

I think everyone should be supportive of the girls and guys that are trying to recover from unhealthy habits. Not hated upon

Dont go around calling a guy disgusting for logging his 4500 calorie binge eating, hes trying to get better.
Dont say youre deleting a girl that is recovering from anorexia because she messes up one day
Dont tell the guy thats recovering from bulimia that hes a failure because he binged and purge

This doesnt mean be pro-eating disorders and encourage them to mess up or fail again. Encourage them to get better or remind them that they can get through this

There are a lot of mean people on this forum. Just gather some good friends and rely on them in your profile.

Some people can handle a deeper calorie deficit than others. Some people have emotional eating disorders and it comes into play. Even a small deficit puts your body in a state of flux with hormones and such and everyone is different. What works for one person may not work for another. Small people eat less and need less calories especially to have a calorie deficit and people say they have eating disorders when they don't. Comparing how many calories one person eats to your own is just plain stupid, we all have different RMR and how much we need is based on that. Small (hint short) people have lower RMR's than taller/bigger people. People tell others to eat more or eat less when they don't even know the persons height or whether they are a person who happens to be able to handle a bigger calorie deficit and does not happen to have an eating disorder, and just might be small/short.

There is way to much judgement of others on here and rude nasty people who have nothing better to do than to attack others.