Are some people ( like myself) perhaps beyond help ?

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  • justmyself33
    justmyself33 Posts: 15
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    I sure hope not. I would be in that crowd then and I don't want to be. I have over 100+ lbs to lose and it feels like it's impossible sometimes. Even so, I'm better off than I was a month ago. Add me as a friend if you want.
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    you are only beyond help if you decide you're beyond help

    assuming the variables to that and another person in your shoes are similar/the same (not in a wheelchair, mentally disabled, other extremes)
  • kaisawheel
    kaisawheel Posts: 15 Member
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    Only if you choose to be. Everything you do every single day is a choice. Make better choices or don't. If you can't make good choices, seek the help to learn to do so.
  • hiker359
    hiker359 Posts: 577 Member
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    The fight is never lost until you stop fighting. You'll never cross the finish line if you stop running. Sporadic inconsistency is better than nothing at all. Take what you have achieved and move to the next step. You have moved from not active to sporadically active. Now make the transition from sporadically active to consistently active. Since so much of this is food dependent, make that your area of focus. Focus on consistently eating well and even the sporadic activity should show results. Then move your activity from sporadic to constant and your results should be even better.

    Nobody is beyond help unless they have given up. Have you given up?
  • lachesissss
    lachesissss Posts: 1,298 Member
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    Do or Do Not. There is no try.

    That being said, no one is beyond help. No one. You have to make decisions, set goals and decide that it's time for this yo-yo roller coaster-y spiral to stop. When you decide and hold yourself to the decision, you'd be surprised at how the rest falls into place. It isn't easy. There is an unbelievable amount of work involved, but when you look back and think about how you spent a week, a month, a year, I bet you'll take more personal satisfaction in what you accomplished having decided to change your lifestyle than if you didn't.

    Good Luck!
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    i empathize with you because i remember feeling that. I remember feeling like I just would never get myself under control and that I had already tried everything. When I was overwieght, I was actually working out quite a bit. And i ate healthy foods. It just took making the choice to do it...and doing it for me was cutting my calorie to 1200 plux exercise.

    Just make the choice to do what needs to be done and just do it!
  • xLexa
    xLexa Posts: 482 Member
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    Don't give up, when I started with this and MFP, I had failed more times than I could count. I wanted to see big losses and drops in the numbers, and I didn't. I had this HUGE goal in mind that I had to lose this massive number and it was daunting. What I have learned to do is to break it down. Make smaller stepping stones to my ultimate goal. I am almost to my first mini goal and I tell you it is exciting and keeps me going. Set yourself small attainable challenges. I was trying to get into 30DS and ended up injuring myself, so know your limitations and while yes challenge yourself don't push it to injury at the start. Take it slow, take it easy and take it day by day. No one is beyond help. Good luck!
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    and i'll say this- part of success is forgiving yourself for your mistakes and getting RIGHT BACK IN THE SADDLE!

    No wallowing in self hate because you ate pizza last night and then spending the next three days eating crap because you already broke your diet. It is a lifestyle change...part of the lifestyle is getting into the habit of accepting it when you mess up and just going back to your new "normal."

    I ate more unhealthy foods in my weight loss journey than i did when i was overweight.

    Thanks to MFP, i also figured out how to balance my burning of calories with my excess consumption. I would totally run 4 miles so I could have pizza with my friends later that day. Some people say that doesn't work, but it did for me!
  • KeriW626
    KeriW626 Posts: 430
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    I have been on and off diets for over 15 years and hated my body , binged etc etc .. Exercised sporadically never consistently!!I just wondered if perhaps some people ( like myself! ) can't be helped ? Or if some people don't want what rules their life badly enough ? If you have tried everything and are still in the same position should you just give up ? I am great at excuses and being good to others , just not myself . I do feel I am a broken record going on and on , but I know I am the only person who can do anything about it !

    Really interested in peoples thoughts, if I have not bored you silly : )

    Consistancy is the main word here. Last journey I lost over 100 which I gained back due to medication. I am going to do it again, and keep it off. I have a life long ed. I will beat. For me what works best is eatting enough calories but not too many, and walking. I want to work back up to 3 miles a day. Then I can expect to lose like 3 lbs a month if Im lucky. So for my last 80ish lbs, I hope to have off by the time I turn 50, I'll be 48 in a few days.
    Good luck with your journey keep on keeping on!!!
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
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    Thank you for the replies .... I suppose I can't want it badly enough although it is all I think about. Not sure that makes sense it doesn't really does it ? You would think if something bothers you that much you would make a change ......

    Get off your a** and do it!! I'm not trying to be mean I promise. I was in the exact same place. It was always "I'll start Monday", then Monday came and I didn't do anything. The only things I thought about were how big I was getting, how crappy I felt, and if I didn't change my husband was going to leave me. (all in my head btw, he loves me unconditionally) Anyway, one day I got on the scale and realized I was the biggest I had ever been. I decided to start with food. I didn't restrict calories like crazy, I just made small changes. When I mastered one, I moved on to the next. Now I'm down 20 pounds, and started C25K and NROL4W. You can do this!!! You just have to start somewhere.
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    I'll be mean:

    STOP MAKING EXCUSES and get off your A** and make a damn change

    or you can wallow in your thoughts and unhappiness
  • Dealsdreamy
    Dealsdreamy Posts: 26
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    I can't thank you all enough for your responses , empathy and useful replies . I wish i had time to reply to all . I am at work now but need to have a jolly good think about things . I definitely have self esteem , confidence issues too , I suppose it all correlates . I have tried therapy before a few times , unsuccessfully though . I need to start making changes .....
    Thank you again and I hope you all have a great day : )
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    I can't thank you all enough for your responses , empathy and useful replies . I wish i had time to reply to all . I am at work now but need to have a jolly good think about things . I definitely have self esteem , confidence issues too , I suppose it all correlates . I have tried therapy before a few times , unsuccessfully though . I need to start making changes .....
    Thank you again and I hope you all have a great day : )

    Just don't give up on yourself, and you can get through this! Good luck to you.
  • EPortJake
    EPortJake Posts: 54 Member
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    Others can help, but ultimately the vast majority of the work is down to you. Believe in yourself. Others have done it why can't you?
  • caroleannlight
    caroleannlight Posts: 173 Member
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    The reason most diets fail is the changes are too drastic and unsustainable as a lifestyle. MFP can help you make healthier choices and I would suggest making small changes "babysteps". Try logging for a few days - and see what you are putting into your body. When are the times you are vulnerable to overeat or eat unhealthy foods? Start making small changes e.g. portion control that you can sustain. Try to get support from friends and family. Walk more. Post in the forums and get support from the great MFP community. I found logging helped a lot - I can't lie to myself and my mum husband and secretary are now on MFP with my recommendations. The other thing I found helpful is rewards (as long as not food). If I lose 30lbs I will........

    but at the end of the day its your life and your body and you have to be ready to make the change. Here to help when you are ready!
  • animatorswearbras
    animatorswearbras Posts: 1,001 Member
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    I can't thank you all enough for your responses , empathy and useful replies . I wish i had time to reply to all . I am at work now but need to have a jolly good think about things . I definitely have self esteem , confidence issues too , I suppose it all correlates . I have tried therapy before a few times , unsuccessfully though . I need to start making changes .....
    Thank you again and I hope you all have a great day : )

    remember baby steps! The reason I've tried and failed at diets before is that I've gone from one extreme to another (ie over eating to under eating) and you just can't maintain that without going mad and giving up, find out your BMR (what you body burns if you were unconscious making your vital organs work and breathing) and TDEE (what you burn going about your normal day to day routine) and eat somewhere in between the two and you'll lose without feeling deprived (some people say 15 - 20% below TDEE), and as for exercise I hate going to the gym and used to always hate having to motivate myself to go, so i just found something I enjoy, in my case Zumba! and I actually look forward to going as it's so much fun it's like a hobby!

    Also get rid of all junk in your house I'm a bit of a binger (not a purger though), so I never have crisps/chips, chocolate cereal, cereal bars or in fact any convenience food in the house, if I want to eat something I have to cook it, I do believe binging's an addiction and the impulse to binge goes after a few minutes (if of course you're not genuinely hungry) so whenever you get a binge impulse just put on your shoes and go for a 10 minute walk, I also never prepare meals for the next day ie sandwiches for tomorrows lunch or enough bolognese to last a few meals because it will get eaten. I also have low cal binge alternatives that take a few mins to eat like low cal hot chocolate and frozen ice lollies and also stuff that I can eat in large quantities like raw carrots, cucumber and sweet peppers with low fat hummus, and pad out food with a bag of baby leaf salad and low fat honey mustard dressing, or stir fry veg and soy sauce. Also the tv is the worse for binging and boredom eating so if you can maybe do something other than watch tv or try to occupy your hands whilst watching telly (even if it's something like knitting LOL)

    Good luck and just think in a years time you'll wish you started today!
  • Dealsdreamy
    Dealsdreamy Posts: 26
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    Thank you again for replies . I am going to re read them all in a bit and try and try and wk out where to start !! How do you make your self exercise once you have finished a 12 hour day ? I collapse in a heap at 7pm ... It's so ridiculous that I am ready for bed by 8:30 pm . I lead a exciting life not !!
  • ChiGirl79
    ChiGirl79 Posts: 11
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    I wish I knew what stops me I really do .. I know I am the only one who can change things . I am lucky that I enjoy fruit and vegetables and most healthy foods , rarely drink alcohol , but eat loads of junk and carbs and struggle to exercise after my 12 hour day , plus the evening/ early morning bingeing has got l out of control. As I am exhausted ( excuse again ) , I am genuinely shattered though when my working day ends .

    I am so glad that I am not the only one that feels this way. I have been unsuccssfully trying to balance between work and life for quite some time now. I don't exactly have an answer as I am still trying to find it myself, but you are not alone.

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