the fake 'I'm so fat' comments
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next time she says it, why not call her out on her *kitten*?0
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Everyone has a different "definition" of fat. I'm now, after my journey, am 5'11 and 148. I'm not fat what so ever (my BMI is 20 and my BF% is 21). Actually I weigh less now than I did in HS. But there are days I feel fatter and heavier than I did at 190 (beginning weight). Everyone has the right to think whatever they think of themselves. I'm sorry if us average size women's opinions of themselves annoy you, but it is what it is.
Congrats on your loss. And you should feel free to express yourself if some days you're feeling a little low. This attitude of 'Shut up unless we think you're fat enough to be able to express how you feel about your body' helps no-one.0 -
Fat Talk is a means for women to bond, however negative it is.
http://www.livescience.com/1359-female-fat-talk-mandatory-study-finds.html
MANDATORY! WOMEN TALK ABOUT YOUR FAT NOW!
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What if she isn't after compliments? What if she TRULY believes she's fat and suffers from body dismorphia(or whatever the hell it's called)? Is it acceptable for her to say that she's fat then?
Or is she only allowed to say she's fat if she's truly fat?0 -
I just compliment them and tell them they look nice.
I enjoy making people happy and feel better about themselves.
Sometimes fit people have "fat days"
I LOVE this. If people are fishing, why not give them what they need? Does it really hurt to just say; You look great!0 -
Look, some girls have less on their bodies, and while for us they may not be FAT, for them they may feel fat or be 10kg heavier than what the normally are! BE patient and dont be nasty to people like, they normally have a low self esteem. and the last thing they need is someone making fun of them
I have a friend who I think is tiny and one day we were talking a bout the same thing and she explained to me, how tired she gets of people telling her she isnt fat and she has nothing to loose etc, she also got undressed and showed me where she wants to loose, and I could see that she had gained weight. She said to me that day, I am not say I am as big or as overweight as others, I am saying I feel fat! I am overweight for my body.
Totally this. I work with quite a few women who are substantially overweight, while I just really want/need to lose 5 pounds. You really can't even tell when I'm dressed. But to me, this five pounds feels horrible on my body, and I hate the way it makes me look and feel. I think all these women may want to shoot me, but it's the truth - my truth. And I don't have self esteem issues, I just hate these darned five pounds!0 -
How about repying, "It does seem like you've gained a bit of weigh recently..." :laugh:
THis^^ LMFAO! :laugh:0 -
How do you know who has self-esteem issues and who doesn't?I always say, 'if you think you're so fat, then what must you think of me?' Normally shuts them up,
Well, they really aren't thinking of you; their self-esteem has nothing to do with you. Of course it shuts them up; you said something to make them feel guilty, ashamed, and uncomfortable. You may understand how it feels when someone heavier than you says that to you someday.0 -
I think maybe they're trying to relate. I had a friend in the past who was always having money troubles. I definitely did not talk about how well we were doing. Every once in awhile, I'd commiserate over an unexpected expense that came up for us "oh yes, I know what you mean. We just put the truck in the shop this morning. There goes any extra $$ we thought we had."0
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Kelly Ripa makes those types of comments all the time and it totally pisses me off because she is probably underweight with no body fat.0
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So at what size is a woman fat enough to make "I'm so fat" comments?
If one is 300 pounds and another is 400, is the 300 pound woman not allowed to say she's fat?
What if one woman is 10 pounds overweight? Is that not enough to constitute "I'm so fat" comments?0 -
As some one who was told at 43 pounds heavier "You look fine" while I felt like crap, I can tell you the weight hurt on me. If I annoyed anyone with my complaining about my weight or "fat", I apologize.
However, I wish some one had said, you are welcome to come walk with me at lunch or have you tried the gym in our building... anything that would have been a tiny step to feeling better...
It doesn't annoy me when someone fishes for compliments (heck we all need a hug now and then) , but your post reminds me to not to make my weight everyone else's issue..
This! People have been telling me that I don't need to lose anymore weight about 30 pounds ago. I think its funny when I'm told how great I look... but I looked good before and didn't NEED to lose weight. I don't think 50 pounds is vanity weight.
Currently I feel great and am finally comfortable enough in my own skin to start showing this new shape I've worked so hard for even though I'm still not where I want to be. I don't think I complain about the weight I still have to lose and only fish for compliments from people I haven't seen in months and haven't mentioned my weight loss. I think I have another 10-15 pounds to lose to be at my goal which I'm willing to put the time and effort into. Please don't tell me I don't need to lose weight. I'd rather hear "the last 10-15 pounds are the hardest to lose".
I get the same thing from one of the girls I work with. I've been successful, moreso than I ever expected and the weight HAS come off... BUT this time is totally different because I am losing it right. I workout and eat totally different now. This lady sees me MAYBE two times a month and each of the last 3 or 4 times has said to me "well I don't want to see you lose much more... you don't have anything left to lose". YES I do! Thanks for encouraging me to YOUR goal but how about keeping it up until I reach MY goal since it is MY BODY...0 -
How do you know who has self-esteem issues and who doesn't?I always say, 'if you think you're so fat, then what must you think of me?' Normally shuts them up,
Well, they really aren't thinking of you; their self-esteem has nothing to do with you. Of course it shuts them up; you said something to make them feel guilty, ashamed, and uncomfortable. You may understand how it feels when someone heavier than you says that to you someday.
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Yes! Shaming someone into shutting up isn't something to be proud of. They admitted to an insecurity and you made them fell bad for being insecure and daring to mention it?0 -
I just tell them they're hot.
Hey, if they're fishing for it, it makes them happy.
If they're not fishing for it, and really believe it, they need to hear the truth.
Either way, costs me nothing.0 -
Does anyone else get annoyed with thin women who talk about how fat they are all the time? I am not talking about the insecure type who feel they are fat and have body issues. I am referring to women who know they have an amazing figure, like to show it off and are very aware that they look good. I know someone like this and it really annoys me when she will come up with a random 'Oh I'm so fat' when she knows there is a group of people (mostly bigger people) around and someone will say 'Noooo! you have an amazing figure' or 'Don't be ridiculous you are stunning'. I wouldn't mind if I thought it was genuine but it is so obvious that she is just after compliments. I know there are a lot of people with genuine body issues but I know this person isn't one of them.
Those people are just fishing for compliments because they know that we are going to say how thin and beautiful they are.. When people say that to me I reply back with " Yes, you are right you are chubby you should lose some weight in your stomach/thigh/arm area" shuts them up all the time!!!!
:flowerforyou: 0 -
In my opinion these people are expressing their insecurities (we all have them). Most people don't think I'm fat but I'm at the upper end of the weight chart for my height and bone structure, I'm not happy with my weight and I'm well practised at hiding it with clothing and 3" heels. I went to visit a good friend I hadn't seen for a while and she told me she had gained some weight; when I saw her I realized she gained about 100 lbs and I could see she was very unhappy. I went home thinking I would never complain about my weight again but yet here I am. Everyone has their own way of seeing themselves and often they are not thinking about others when they make those comments (that can be hurtful) they are thinking about their own dissatisfaction.0
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Just because a girl is skinny doesn't mean she is lean in terms of body composition. Often times skinny girls have just as high of body fat percentage than girls significantly heavier than them due to very low lean body mass.0
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You know I use to get annoyed with this comment by people thinner then myself. After losing so much weight and becoming one of the "Thinner" people in my friends, I understand it now. Even thin people have days where they "FEEL" fat. Sometimes they say it without thinking about the other person. I still have days when I feel fat and have to be reminded that I'm not. My BMI says I'm average but I still FEEL fat some days. Sometimes I feel like I gained all my weight back. Sometimes we have to sit back and wonder "Maybe they are just having a day where they feel fat" We all have "Fat" days even if we aren't fat.0
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What counts as fat? I have gained about 25 pounds or so in the last few years. My BF is high for my (normal) weight. However, if someone were to look at me they would say I was small. As a matter of fact most people do. Nonetheless, I have gotten "fatter" than what I used to be.
It drives me batty how so many women on here transfer another person's feelings to themselves. My feelings about myself don't always reflect what I think of others. A lot of cattyness in this thread. Moving along...0 -
Statistics have shown that most women perceive themselves to be heavier than the actually are. I remember when I was pregnant with my second child the doctor told me that I should gain more weight because I had started my pregnancy underweight. I was so surprised to hear that I had been underweight. I honestly had no idea!
In 1984, a study of 33,000 women, conducted by Glamour magazine, found that 75% of the women thought they were overweight, even though only 25% actually were, and in fact, 30% were underweight (Bordo, 56).
The statistics on how many American women are dieting at any given time vary widely, but have been shown in studies to range from 25% to 85%. One study found that 60% of average weight girls, and 18% of underweight girls, between the ages of nine and eighteen were dieting. Another found that 90% of seventeen-year-old girls were dieting (Tso).0 -
Yeah I always tell them they're not fat. They just need to tone. There is a huge difference.0
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I usually just respond with, "Yeah, I noticed you look like you're starting to get a little pooch on your tummy. Just start doing a few crunches every day. You'll be alright." :flowerforyou: The look on their face is priceless when they don't get the compliment they were hoping for, and they don't generally complain to me any more about being "fat".0
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It's all relative. Fat for that person might be 5-10lbs extra or just not toned, where for someone else it's 40lbs extra or more. I've been on both sides of this. Annoyed at the skinny person for saying they're "fat" and annoying to my heavier-than-me friends when *I* complain about being fat.0
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I understand that it's annoying, I probably annoy the crap out of others when I say "I'm fat" but it's how I see myself. I've never had a day when I've felt skinny, fit or 'hot'...even when my thighs didn't touch. I saw a picture of myself at 127lbs and I can't believe I was ever that skinny and I wonder why, when I was that skinny, did I still see myself as big. My best friend was always smaller than me so maybe I compared myself to her, I don't know. I think I just pick out the 'bad' things about myself and see them instead of highlighting and concentrating the good parts. I'm working on that though.0
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While I agree with several posters on here that it could be a body image issue within the person; I have to admit I agree with the OP especially being related to an anorexic/bulemic. (my sister)
She intentionally starves herself, will only eat at most once a day when she does eat (if she doesn't throw it up), and has a whole slew of medical issues b/c of the effects of the diets, pills, smoking (amongst other things) she has put her body through. She knows that being 109 lbs at 5'0 tall is not healthy FOR HER (considering probabaly 20lbs of that is her boob job) as her Dr's (she has more than one) have repeatedly told her. She is of the mind frame she looks good this way, even though she complains she has no muscles, is weak and tired, and has all this loose skin. Um?!?!?!
She has not always been this way, it was not until about 2 years ago she just decided she was fat and going to be skinny (notice I didn't say healthy) from now on. And so it started from there (even though she's been sick with health issues for 14 years now). And mind you, she will say things to my mother and myself (who are both heavy), "I"m not eating that, I'll get fat" REGARDLESS of what the dish is. Turns her nose up to me being vegetarian, turns her nose up to my parents eating mostly what the forums would consider Paleo, turns her nose up to anything and everything out there that could or would be healthy for her.
So YES it irritates the *kitten* out of me when I hear skinny folks say these things, when they are more or less fishing. There are a FEW genuine folks who feel fat b/c they never lost the sight of themselves as fat, but in my personal experience 99% are just looking to make those kinds of comments to feel better around the truly fat people they are saying it to.0 -
I work with a young lady (she could be my daughter) and she is constantly telling me how fat she is...she isn't. At first I told her she wasn't and looked good...being polite. Now it just annoys me, I know she has low self esteem but after numerous suggestions she doesn't want to work on it. So...when she starts in now I just tell her, yep...looks like you've put on a few pounds. I know it is not nice, but I just get tired of hearing her whine. Yet, she is the FIRST one to criticize me if I have on some article of clothing she doesn't like! Well, I must like it...cause I bought it!!! And the next time I wear it...I make sure to let her know I have it on! I'm bad....just can't help myself!0
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Back when i was anorexic and barely 100lbs I viewed myself as weighing more than I do now. (by the way i'm over the anorexia thing, losing it the right way now) But I haaaaated when people told me I wasn't fat, because in my eyes they were just trying to not hurt my feelings. Not gonna say there aren't people out there that just do it for compliments, but from personal experience I can understand it, but it does annoy me too
lol 0 -
I always say, 'if you think you're so fat, then what must you think of me?' Normally shuts them up,
Good one!0 -
I've known people like this. It gets sooooo frustrating. I can't stand listening to them. :grumble:0
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