the fake 'I'm so fat' comments
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I know a few people like that!..they seem to say it when they're around me and they are clearly half my size!0
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They should add search abilities to groups and remove search abilities from the boards0
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Body dysmorphia is a real thing. I found a photo of myself at 16 years old and I know for a fact that I felt I looked as fat as I did when I hit 290 several years ago. Truely, I believe I was anorexic then, skin and bones, and was in so much emotional pain. You never really know what is in someone's mind. Please be kind.0
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pollypocket1021 wrote: »
I disagree here. How does an almost 3 year old thread where the OP isn't around anymore help anyone. It isn't any better than starting one from fresh, IMO.
ETA. There are some great older threads. This isn't one of them. Again, my opinion
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threeeeeeeaaaaaaad necroooooooooooooo
pollypocket1021 wrote: »
that is definitely not how the internet works lol0 -
It's really gross and ignorant that some people here would actually tell these girls, already struggling with body image issues or perhaps fitness issues, that they are getting bigger and need to work out, do crunches etc. Way to boost someone's confidence.0
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As someone with BDD, I try to be supportive rather than bitchy when I hear these comments. You have no idea how the other person is feeling or what motivated them to say that. You don't necessarily have to throw out the "No, you look lovely" card, but countering with "Yeah, you've put on a few" is a dick move, imo.
EDIT: Ack, didn't realize the person before me had necro'd. Ignore everything, carry on...
strong 4th post necro realization
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Cait_Sidhe wrote: »It's probably not fake. Just because they are thinner than you does not mean they don't legitimately have low self esteem.
Thisgeekyjock76 wrote: »Just because a girl is skinny doesn't mean she is lean in terms of body composition. Often times skinny girls have just as high of body fat percentage than girls significantly heavier than them due to very low lean body mass.
Also this
However, this is true, if depressing:DorkothyParker wrote: »Fat Talk is a means for women to bond, however negative it is.
http://www.livescience.com/1359-female-fat-talk-mandatory-study-finds.html
From there: “Because women feel pressured to follow the fat talk norm, they are more likely to engage in fat talk with other females,” Martz told LiveScience. “Hence, women normalize their own body dissatisfaction with one another.”
Stop this, ladies! In addition to being kind of, you know, bad for us, fat talk is also boring conversation. (I mean outside of MFP where it's what we're here to talk about in hopefully constructive ways.) We can bond and be supportive over other things.0 -
More from that link:
“If there are women out there who feel neutrally or even positively about their bodies, I bet we never hear this from them for fear of social sanction and rejection,” she said.
...
“Females like to support one another and fat talk elicits support,” Martz said. “An example would be one saying, ‘It's like, I'm so fat today,’ and another would respond, ‘No, you are not fat, you look great in those pants.’”
Fat talk also allows females to appear modest, a prized quality in a culture that shuns egotism.
“We tend to dislike arrogance and especially dislike it in women (‘*kitten*’)”, Martz explained. “Women are perceived as OK if they fat talk and acknowledge that their bodies are not perfect but they are working on it.”
Ugh really now everyone should just stop talking about their fat full stop0 -
fun B next time you friend says that tell her yes you should lose about 10 pounds wait and see what she says then0
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FrancineJM61 wrote: »fun B next time you friend says that tell her yes you should lose about 10 pounds wait and see what she says then
See, this is gross and inconsiderate.0 -
Does anyone else get annoyed with thin women who talk about how fat they are all the time? I am not talking about the insecure type who feel they are fat and have body issues. I am referring to women who know they have an amazing figure, like to show it off and are very aware that they look good. I know someone like this and it really annoys me when she will come up with a random 'Oh I'm so fat' when she knows there is a group of people (mostly bigger people) around and someone will say 'Noooo! you have an amazing figure' or 'Don't be ridiculous you are stunning'. I wouldn't mind if I thought it was genuine but it is so obvious that she is just after compliments. I know there are a lot of people with genuine body issues but I know this person isn't one of them.
Have you ever thought its that very "I'm so fat" mentality that makes them enforce healthy/unhealthy habits or behaviour that keeps them skinny?
Many women have body dysmorphia either from fear of getting fat or getting fat again after weight loss that they subconsciously/consciously nurture this "I'm a fatty" mentality even after they've shed all the excess weight.
Of course, some women just use it as a passive aggressive way of currying compliments.
Don't bother to encourage it. You can always say things like "As long as you focus on a healthy lifestyle you are fit and healthy" or something along the lines which doesn't personalise your comment to that person's statement.0 -
I'm somewhere between 11-12% bodyfat and I feel fat all the time. Your friend may not be fishing for compliments.0
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Does anyone else get annoyed with thin women who talk about how fat they are all the time? I am not talking about the insecure type who feel they are fat and have body issues. I am referring to women who know they have an amazing figure, like to show it off and are very aware that they look good. I know someone like this and it really annoys me when she will come up with a random 'Oh I'm so fat' when she knows there is a group of people (mostly bigger people) around and someone will say 'Noooo! you have an amazing figure' or 'Don't be ridiculous you are stunning'. I wouldn't mind if I thought it was genuine but it is so obvious that she is just after compliments. I know there are a lot of people with genuine body issues but I know this person isn't one of them.
They could have dysmorphia. Might want to look that up. It's a real thing.
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cwolfman13 wrote: »glad I'm a dude...
Glad I don't deal with any women/girls who whine.
"I'm so fat so old so ugly"
Please, add "boring" and "vapid" to your list...0 -
I have a question, but it's sort of the opposite. I'm going on a boat trip with a group (co-ed) and one of the girls that is going, is overweight and is very self conscious. She mentioned that she is nervous about going b/c she will be "the fattest girl there" and pointed out that I am 'tiny'... even though I also have my insecurities. What should someone say to this kind of talk? She clearly thinks I look better than her, so by me saying, "You look fine and no one cares, I have my own issues, too... etc.." will probably not help. I want to make her feel better, but also not sound fake.0
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JuniperVera wrote: »xxthoroughbred wrote: »It's probably not fake. Just because they are thinner than you does not mean they don't legitimately have low self esteem.
THIS.
I'm "skinny" and make similar comments. Not everyone is comfortable with their body. Just because my love handle is smaller than yours doesn't mean it doesn't bother me.
OK, and your feelings are totally legitimate. But what about the point that if you think that way about YOURSELF and your tiny little love handles, what must you think about your friends? How can we express our own insecurities and emotions without hurting those around us or those we love?
I really don't think about my friends' bodies, period. I am completely self absorbed in that the only body I judge is my own.
SAME!0 -
I have a question, but it's sort of the opposite. I'm going on a boat trip with a group (co-ed) and one of the girls that is going, is overweight and is very self conscious. She mentioned that she is nervous about going b/c she will be "the fattest girl there" and pointed out that I am 'tiny'... even though I also have my insecurities. What should someone say to this kind of talk? She clearly thinks I look better than her, so by me saying, "You look fine and no one cares, I have my own issues, too... etc.." will probably not help. I want to make her feel better, but also not sound fake.
I think "You look fine and no one cares, I have my own issues, too... etc.." is a great response.
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