Curious on how you see this...

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kit_katty
kit_katty Posts: 994 Member
in Chit-Chat
Ok, so I take a commuter train into Toronto (GO train). I'm always in the same car and it's very quiet, a lot of people catch some more sleep on the train.

This morning there was a loud business gentleman (at least in his 40s) and a lady about the same age, he was quite loud, though she spoke more quietly. They were the only ones talking.

I got their attention and politely asked them to talk more softly as a lof of people were trying to sleep (myself included).

I mentioned this to a friend who said that it was a public train, what right did I have to ask them to do that? My point is that they weren't being considerate and I was polite.

So I'm curious what others thing.
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Replies

  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    Depends on how it was taken.. A lot of times people think they are being polite when they are really being a**hats.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    Who are you to deem what is "being considerate"? Was he jumping around and shouting? Some people just have naturally loud voices that carry. Unless he was being boisterous or otherwise a nuisance, no, I don't believe you had any right to tell him to quiet down. It's not a sleeping car, it's a commuter car. It's not his fault that people decide to use it as a sleeping car and he's choosing not to.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    Go to bed earlier if you want more sleep.

    I think that you did was more rude/inconsiderate then anything he did.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    I don't see any harm in asking if they would not be so loud as a favor. But because they have no real obligation to, I would also see no problem if they decided not to heed your request.

    The way I see it is they were not being inconsiderate. If they don't frequent the sleepy car, like you said - how would they have any idea that people use it for nappy time? so they behaved as they would in any other car.
  • Jenny_Taylia
    Jenny_Taylia Posts: 540 Member
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    Ugh Ive been there..Toronto subways are the worst thats why i avoid taking them. But even the buses....alot of the times I get very annoying teens who feel they must speak as loud as they can. I have to bite my tongue because it IS public transit. They only time Ill say something is if they are cussing up a storm...Im usually out with my children so I ask them to watch their language and be more respectful around kids.
  • 126siany
    126siany Posts: 1,386 Member
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    When I commuted, it was on a private bus line which prohibited cell phone use. That pretty well stopped almost all talking since most folks commute alone. Nearly everyone slept, although there were a few folks pounding out emails on their Blackberries or smartphones. Occasionally if there were bad traffic delays, people would make quick, very hushed calls to inform their boss or family that they would arrive late.

    On public transportation, you don't have that luxury. It's OK to ask people to be quieter, but they aren't under any obligation to comply.
  • Jenny_Taylia
    Jenny_Taylia Posts: 540 Member
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    And you also have to take into consideration one of them might have a hearing problem. If the loud one cant hear well he may end up talking louder than he think he is...or the quiet one might have a hard time hearing so he has to speak up or her to hear him .....just a thought.
  • SeaChele77
    SeaChele77 Posts: 1,103 Member
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    While you may have been polite in asking - it is a public train and he wasn't sleepy and wanted to chat with his friend/co-worker! While the train you usually frequent is often quiet - its not deemed a "Quiet Car" so people can talk as loud as they want.

    Depending on my mood - I may have tried to keep it down (if I notice people are trying to sleep I would anyway) but if I was in a bad mood - "Kiss my *kitten* chick - I do what I want". :/
  • Tony_Brewski
    Tony_Brewski Posts: 1,376 Member
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    Go to bed earlier if you want more sleep.

    I think that you did was more rude/inconsiderate then anything he did.

    I come from a small community myself were politeness is a way of life, and this statement I have to agree with. If you have to SLEEP ON A TRAIN on your way to work you are obviously staying up WAY too late like some snot nosed prepubecent puke kid that thinks they can take on the world with one hand tied behind their back. And the fact that your profile picture is the glow in the dark booze says to me you like to party way too much. Save the drinking for the weekends and not work days kid. Go to bed and get yourself at least 8 hours of sleep.

    DONE
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 994 Member
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    Intresting. I will definitely keep what everyone's said in mind. I was raised to be overly considerate of other people. I wouldn't dream of talking loudly if there was literally no one else talking.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    Intresting. I will definitely keep what everyone's said in mind. I was raised to be overly considerate of other people. I wouldn't dream of talking loudly if there was literally no one else talking.

    There was 2 people talking correct?

    How were they in the wrong?
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
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    You asked two complete strangers to stop talking in a public space? Yikes

    What was their reaction? They must have thought you were joking or something...
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
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    Go to bed earlier if you want more sleep.

    I think that you did was more rude/inconsiderate then anything he did.

    I come from a small community myself were politeness is a way of life, and this statement I have to agree with. If you have to SLEEP ON A TRAIN on your way to work you are obviously staying up WAY too late like some snot nosed prepubecent puke kid that thinks they can take on the world with one hand tied behind their back. And the fact that your profile picture is the glow in the dark booze says to me you like to party way too much. Save the drinking for the weekends and not work days kid. Go to bed and get yourself at least 8 hours of sleep.

    DONE

    Wow. This is a polite way to communicate one's opinion!
    They need to have more "quiet" trains. I once asked a quy to quit screaming on the train once. He was actually screaming at some boys and was right above me. It was weird. I was the ONLY white person on the train so obviously I was racist.
    Regardless of the fact that people had been rolling their eyes for over 10 mins at his tirade that was completely uncalled for.
    They accused me of being apart of the KKK before the next stop! Ridiculous!

    I'd just be wary as you never know one's reaction.
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 994 Member
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    Intresting. I will definitely keep what everyone's said in mind. I was raised to be overly considerate of other people. I wouldn't dream of talking loudly if there was literally no one else talking.

    There was 2 people talking correct?

    How were they in the wrong?

    I didn't say they were wrong, I said they were being inconsiderate.They were disturbing most of the people on the train because they were talking so loudly. How was their conversation more important than everyone else on the train? That's just how I look at it.
  • SeaChele77
    SeaChele77 Posts: 1,103 Member
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    Intresting. I will definitely keep what everyone's said in mind. I was raised to be overly considerate of other people. I wouldn't dream of talking loudly if there was literally no one else talking.

    Now if he was talking loudly on his cell phone - I could see being a bit more irratated. Still probably wouldn't say anything - but talking loud on a cell can just be annoying regardless if people are sleeping/reading/relaxing in teh same car/area. However, he was talking to another person. While she may have been more soft spoken - there was a conversation between two people on teh same car. I don't see anything inconsiderate about that. :/
  • wareagle8706
    wareagle8706 Posts: 1,090 Member
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    Some people just have naturally loud voices that carry.

    I have a feeling you're one of those people.
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 994 Member
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    Intresting. I will definitely keep what everyone's said in mind. I was raised to be overly considerate of other people. I wouldn't dream of talking loudly if there was literally no one else talking.

    Now if he was talking loudly on his cell phone - I could see being a bit more irratated. Still probably wouldn't say anything - but talking loud on a cell can just be annoying regardless if people are sleeping/reading/relaxing in teh same car/area. However, he was talking to another person. While she may have been more soft spoken - there was a conversation between two people on teh same car. I don't see anything inconsiderate about that. :/

    I get what you're saying, my entire point was simply that the conversation was much louder than it needed to be. How hard is it to talk a bit more softly? Assuming of course that neither of them was hard of hearing. And considering they did lower their voices afterwards, that didn't seem to be the case.
  • Erienneb
    Erienneb Posts: 592 Member
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    On public transportation, you don't have that luxury. It's OK to ask people to be quieter, but they aren't under any obligation to comply.


    This is super true. I would never ask someone to be quiet (mostly because I can sleep through anything and I have serious confrontation issues) but I have asked someone to stop swearing once when little kids were around. That's about it though. I mind my own business and let people do what they want.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    It's a public place...they are allowed to talk and I wouldn't have asked them to quiet down. But being a train commuter as well I can relate to how annoying it is to have someone sitting in your train car that's loud. LOL....one night I heard more then I wanted to know about a fellow commuters prostate ewwwww. Anyway...my train line (in Chicago) has recently instituted a designated 'quiet car' on the morning and evening commuter trains. And god help you if you even yawn too loudly in this car....the passengers will eat you!!!!!!:noway:
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,611 Member
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    There are unofficial quite trains on the metro-north lines into Manhattan on the really early trains - like 5 am - 7am. The conductors turn down the lights and, if they are around, point out to people using the phone or having conversations that everyone else is resting. I see no problem with this. Some people do not have the option of getting more sleep or, for some, it is an early enough hour that they would prefer to grab some shuteye while staying stationary in the train. Asking once, politely, that someone perhaps try to lower to voice out of consideration for the rest of the car is not out of bounds.

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