Those of you with a significant other?
EmCeeKayla
Posts: 53 Member
So I know I do this, and I'm starting to think it's kind of cruel, but does anyone else do the following?:
I watch what I eat. I make sure I don't put a lot of things into my body that I shouldn't. That being said, I love baking. I love sweet things. I love my boyfriend.
I have this outrageously bad habit of baking things or buying delicious dessert things JUST TO GIVE THEM TO MY BOYFRIEND. I understand it's still a form of showing love, but I think I do it because I know that I PERSONALLY can't eat it.
Does anyone else make/bake things with the intention of not eating any of it and just giving it to your significant other?
LOL I don't want him to become fat, but I don't want to eat those things.
Sometimes even when someone gives me a dessert to take home, I give it to him because I know I don't want it. hahaha
I watch what I eat. I make sure I don't put a lot of things into my body that I shouldn't. That being said, I love baking. I love sweet things. I love my boyfriend.
I have this outrageously bad habit of baking things or buying delicious dessert things JUST TO GIVE THEM TO MY BOYFRIEND. I understand it's still a form of showing love, but I think I do it because I know that I PERSONALLY can't eat it.
Does anyone else make/bake things with the intention of not eating any of it and just giving it to your significant other?
LOL I don't want him to become fat, but I don't want to eat those things.
Sometimes even when someone gives me a dessert to take home, I give it to him because I know I don't want it. hahaha
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Replies
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I will admit to cooking really delish meals for my husband because it makes him happy.
He loves curries, roasts, steaks, etc etc etc...You know, all those things we "shouldn't" have.
Like you I don't do it to make him fat, or sabotage any diets I just want him to be happy and not be "stuck" eating all the diet foods that he really doesn't like but I need to be eating right now.0 -
I will admit to cooking really delish meals for my husband because it makes him happy.
He loves curries, roasts, steaks, etc etc etc...You know, all those things we "shouldn't" have.
Like you I don't do it to make him fat, or sabotage any diets I just want him to be happy and not be "stuck" eating all the diet foods that he really doesn't like but I need to be eating right now.0 -
I do that all the time, but my fiance is skinny as a stick and never gains any weight anyway.0
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I used to do that. I think it was because I was raised in a house where showing love frequently meant feeding you. But my hubby was also overweight, and I finally was able to stop doing this. I still have to stop myself sometimes, I will be at the store and see something that I know he would love, and want to buy it. But then my reason kicks in, and I know that he does not need it. He has lost about 30 pounds in the last few months, and is eating a LOT healtier. I don't want to sabotage that. My kids and I need him around for a long time.0
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I do the exact same thing..... :frown:0
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like I thought I was just showing love, but now thinking about it, I realized I'm kinda doing it cause I can't have it and I feel like he can.
But no, he could lose a bit of weight. He wants to.
He doesn't do anything about it, but he wants to.
So now I kinda feel bad if I give him sweets.0 -
This is interesting to me because I feel like I am the opposite. My SO is the one that buys the junk food - I DON'T buy it because I love him (although it makes him grumpy sometimes!)0
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Sounds like you just like the craft of baking. Find alternatives to bake. Try using splenda or stevia to cut sugar, try baking whole grain breads. Try super healthy casseroles.0
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Yes, I do this. I'm glad its not just me! I'm trying to stop now, though.0
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I do the same thing! My bf is not overweight, he can eat whatever he likes, and he loves desert. So, I get him treats. He is so good about eating the healthy meals I make without complaint, he deserves a treat.
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I will admit to cooking really delish meals for my husband because it makes him happy.
He loves curries, roasts, steaks, etc etc etc...You know, all those things we "shouldn't" have.
Like you I don't do it to make him fat, or sabotage any diets I just want him to be happy and not be "stuck" eating all the diet foods that he really doesn't like but I need to be eating right now.
Oh goodness.... I eat all of those delicious meals! If those are "bad" for me, then I eat horribly! I don't eat "diet" foods and I don't think anyone should if this is intended to be a lifestyle. Steak and curry and roasts are not bad for you!0 -
I bake for my hubby...he has never had a weight problem. I figure it's not his problem it's mine. I just baked him cookies yesterday. Last week I made banana & zucchini breads for him. He exercises and eating healthy for the most part. We eat at home, and not fast food. I figure he needs a treat : )0
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Take it from a gal that LOVES to cook and even moreso, I love to hear the words "Baby, this is delicious" come out of my boyfriends mouth... when you can make a really healthy meal and have them say the same thing, you feel 100x more amazing. I made a whole-wheat pasta chicken lasagna the other night (350 cals per cup) and I was sure he would hate it, but he loved it.
It isn't love if you taking away from the years they could be spending with you down the road. Know what I mean? 0 -
roasts, steaks, etc etc etc...You know, all those things we "shouldn't" have.
What??? Not in this life time. I'll keep eating my roasts, steaks, burgers - Thanks.0 -
My husband isn't watchign what he its, so he doesn't mind when I make sweet things for him. However he's picky about his food. I love casseroles and things like that but its a waste of money to make it for my family when 2 out of the 6 of us will eat it so I tend to bake or experiment new recipes on my coworkers, and they love me for it!0
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I found myself doing this with my husband. After a while I realize it was because I secretly deep down wanted him to gain weight to be unattractive to other women. It took a lot of soul searching and hard work on my part to realize that I was insecure.
Now in saying this, please note that this is ME, I by no means am saying that anyone else does this. After a nice long talk about how I do not feel good enough for him and I got it out in the open, our lives have changed drastically, for the better. It only took me 42 years to realize this..................0 -
i definitely do that... I LOVE baking and cooking, but i usually don't like to eat the things that bake. i'm not as big a fan of banana bread as he is, so i make a loaf, eat one piece and give the rest to him! problem is, he's diabetic and really shouldn't be eating in such high quantities (if i know i'm giving him the goodies i bake with artifical sweeteners though). i too need to stop doing this, because he has finally admitted that he wants to lose a bit of weight (he's a little overweight, but not huge), and because of the diabetes, it makes it that much harder to lose. so together we're turning over a new leaf, and trying to help out each other!
to be fair though... i also do this with my parents... constantly giving them leftovers. i think that's a payback for the many years that my mom has done that for me (and still does). 0 -
I do it for my hubby and 5 kids. I bake homemade sourdough,make homemade doughnuts, cakes cookies,the whole bit, but I don't eat it at all just because I dont like it not because Im watching what I eat. But my family is very active not one of them is overweight or couch potatoes. I'm the one thats unhealthy because I have been sitting on my butt since I became a stay at home mom. This yr I decided to change that and become more active and actually eat and not starve myself. Which ironically doesnt really make you lose weight.0
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I love baking for my family, and I'm pretty darn good at it!
If I make a regular cake, the three of us will snack on it for a few days until it's gone I try to find HEALTHIER alternatives. For example, rather than making a pumpkin spice cake from scratch. I mixed one can of pumpkin with one box spice cake (nothing else!) and baked as directed. Cut out the oil, eggs and icing and was unbelievably good!0 -
I bake for my boyfriend and for my coworkers all the time. My boyfriend is always asking if we have something for dessert after dinner, and he's good about portion control/way too skinny as it is, so I have no problem doing it. If you don't want your guy gaining weight off your baking (because baking's fun! no need to give it up), set aside SMALL portions for him and give the rest away to coworkers or neighbors so he doesn't end up eating an entire batch of cookies or whatever. Also, Stevia and oats instead of sugar and flour will make things lower cal and a little healthier.0
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Ok, so normally I don't like to naysay people on forum's, but since you have put this on a public forum, I will share my opinion, as honestly as possible, without trying to sound rude, bc it is not my intention at all.
I previously lost 25lbs - but have gained it, and more back since - which is what I am currently trying to loose again atm.
When I was going through my previous weight loss period, I didn't have any processed anything, or even gluten. So, no processed sugars, no baked goods, no desserts, etc etc etc.
I had a friend at that time, someone I even considered a very close friend, possibly even my best friend as I had known her since high school, had known her for 9-10 years at that point, we had a lot in commomn, etc. She knew what I was trying to do with my health and weight and was *mostly* supportive, except for one thing. Any time we would be out for a meal, or if I would be over at her place and we would be eating dinner, aftewards she would always suggest or even bring out a dessert and ask me if I wanted some. I would politely decline, reminding her that I was off sweets (even though she already knew). She would then persist - saying things like, "c'mon Becca, eating one brownie won't hurt" etc. It really used to upset me, bc she knew what I was trying to do - to me, it seemed as if she was trying to get me to eat it, bc she herself wanted to eat it as well, but maybe felt guilty about it (even though she was very thin, didn't over indulge, etc). It got to a point where I had to have a serious word with her about it, let her know how much it upset me and ask her to please stop completely. She even got a bit upset about it, which I thought was ridiculous.
Anyways, my point is this - perhaps you should sit down and consider why it is that you give your boyfriend sweets. Is it truly bc it is a way that you show your care and affection for him, or is it bc you are living vicariously through what he is eating (as my friend was trying to do with me)? If it is the latter, I would suggest that you stop - pushing someone to engage in an unhealthy habit, esp someone you care about, is really not fair on them.
Granted, he is an adult, and ultimately has to make his own choices (as I did refusing my friend every time), but perhaps bc he loves and cares about you as well, he would find it difficult to refuse your gestures even if wants to or knows he should stop eating the sweets so much.
Again, I do not mean this in a rude or accusing way towards you, but it is just my opinion of the situation from the information you have provided.
My bf atm is also trying to loose weight as well, so it really helps that we both are, bc it means we only have good/healthy foods in the house, and any time we are together and one of us wants a chocolate or something, the other gives encouragement not to do it. So, if your boyfriend is serious about wanting to loose some weight, maybe you can offer to help him as well.
Anyhow, whatever you decide to do, good luck to you in your progress. :-)0 -
i love to bake and yes i bake for my husband. i have started to bake low fat/low calorie desserts for him though. at first i didn't even tell him. i wanted to make sure he was still enjoying the sweet desserts then i told him my little secret that the chocolate cupcakes he enjoys are in fact made with pumpkin puree and flaxseed. he doesn't mind because he still thinks they're yummy. i even started baking healthy desserts for friends and coworkers. they love them.0
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My boyfriend was over 100 pounds overweight, so about 265lbs. He lost a tremendous amount of weight and is now a healthy weight. That being said, he came from a household that fed him cakes, cookies, brownies, ice cream, Italian ice and candy every single day out of LOVE...and thats just the sweets. Even though I love him, I won't even tempt him with baking cookies, making unhealthy food, etc. If he wants it, he bakes or cooks it himself. I came from a household that cooked healthy (household of chefs, nurses, doctors and dieticians), so I have a whole different view of what cooking out of love looks like. And I have never been overweight, not even in the slightest.
I am not vilifying you, I am just giving you an example of what "love" cooking can do.
Don't get me wrong, we still have cake, cookies, muffins....but its limited and only when we both can enjoy it because whats the point of baking without enjoying it with someone you love. Plus, limiting it makes it more special when you can enjoy it together.0 -
As a guy I used to eat whatever my lady made cause in my mind she worked hard on it and it's the least I could do to show support even if I didn't want to. Also being brought up to say yes when you are offered something by a host to avoid being a rude guest. Now I regret a lot of my mindless eating of all those things but it was my fault for being part of the cycle.
I would stop making them or make them every now and then cause they might not be gaining weight but they might be developing diabetes ( not saying he is but it is a way too many sweets get skinny people too). If you like to make them you still can and just try to make them really healthy or even donate them to your local soup kitchen.0 -
yeah. guilty but my husband has a hard time keeping weight ON, so it's harmless. Last night I made a pina colada cake "for him". But of course I tasted a little here and there to make sure the flavor was right
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I never really thought about this until I read the thread. I consisitantly cook healthy and have healthy food snacks in the house. I am always watching what I eat. I my husband was single for a long time and eat what he wanted. Because he likes his "cheat or unhealthy foods" still I try to provise some homemade "cheat or unhealthy foods" Most of the time I eat just a little and expect him to finish the rest.... But he is very healthy and workouts ... so I think I really do it so that his unhealthy food is as healthy as it can be.
Example - I will make healthy oatmeal cookies (with real oats- whole wheat flour and cocunut oil) rather than store bought cookie. But I do expect him to eat his unhealthy foods he brings home so I don't LOL!!! Well, my son helps him!!0 -
I am guilty as charged. My husband must have a naturally high metabolism because he can eat what he wants, whenever he wants, and has maybe put on 5-10 lbs in the last 12 yrs. I do buy the chips, dip, ice cream, sodas, etc, ......all for him, because I rarely eat any of that. I can't force him to eat like I do, even though I have snuck in some healthy stuff. Whole wheat pasta, whole grain breads, fat free/low fat salad dressings, light soups and mayo. He doesn't complain. As long as he gets his chips with dip.
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Not to go off topic here - but I am bit concerned over some of the people who have said things like "he never gains weight, so it's ok." Being healthy is not just about weight - it is about what you are putting into your body. Even if someone doesn't gain weight, eating sugar and other not so healthy things, too much of the time, will still have adverse health effects if done so for long periods of time.
I have loads of guy friends who eat lots of junk and fast food, and they say "well I never gain weight, so it's fine." No it's not! The old adage here proves true: "garbage in, garbage out".0 -
I luff my fiance....and i bake him cookies....then i eat them.
his metabolism is great. i cook whatever he wants 0 -
My boyfriend has a crazy sweet tooth, and I love to bake but don't care for sweet stuff. I bake simply because I love baking, and it's nice to have someone to bake for.
Whenever I make something I think I'll like, I just have a couple bites, and then he eats the rest. If it's too much for him (an entire cake, for example), I'll cut off a portion for him and bring the rest to work. If I'm baking cookies, I often make three or four dozen so I can keep a dozen at home and then bring the rest to work.
Sometimes, if I'm at the store, I pick up a treat for him. If he were trying to lose weight or diabetic, I wouldn't do any of that out of respect for his health.0
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