Those of you with a significant other?

issystclaire

Ok, so normally I don't like to naysay people on forum's, but since you have put this on a public forum, I will share my opinion, as honestly as possible, without trying to sound rude, bc it is not my intention at all.

I previously lost 25lbs - but have gained it, and more back since - which is what I am currently trying to loose again atm.

When I was going through my previous weight loss period, I didn't have any processed anything, or even gluten. So, no processed sugars, no baked goods, no desserts, etc etc etc.

I had a friend at that time, someone I even considered a very close friend, possibly even my best friend as I had known her since high school, had known her for 9-10 years at that point, we had a lot in commomn, etc. She knew what I was trying to do with my health and weight and was *mostly* supportive, except for one thing. Any time we would be out for a meal, or if I would be over at her place and we would be eating dinner, aftewards she would always suggest or even bring out a dessert and ask me if I wanted some. I would politely decline, reminding her that I was off sweets (even though she already knew). She would then persist - saying things like, "c'mon Becca, eating one brownie won't hurt" etc. It really used to upset me, bc she knew what I was trying to do - to me, it seemed as if she was trying to get me to eat it, bc she herself wanted to eat it as well, but maybe felt guilty about it (even though she was very thin, didn't over indulge, etc). It got to a point where I had to have a serious word with her about it, let her know how much it upset me and ask her to please stop completely. She even got a bit upset about it, which I thought was ridiculous.

Anyways, my point is this - perhaps you should sit down and consider why it is that you give your boyfriend sweets. Is it truly bc it is a way that you show your care and affection for him, or is it bc you are living vicariously through what he is eating (as my friend was trying to do with me)? If it is the latter, I would suggest that you stop - pushing someone to engage in an unhealthy habit, esp someone you care about, is really not fair on them.

Granted, he is an adult, and ultimately has to make his own choices (as I did refusing my friend every time), but perhaps bc he loves and cares about you as well, he would find it difficult to refuse your gestures even if wants to or knows he should stop eating the sweets so much.

Again, I do not mean this in a rude or accusing way towards you, but it is just my opinion of the situation from the information you have provided.

My bf atm is also trying to loose weight as well, so it really helps that we both are, bc it means we only have good/healthy foods in the house, and any time we are together and one of us wants a chocolate or something, the other gives encouragement not to do it. So, if your boyfriend is serious about wanting to loose some weight, maybe you can offer to help him as well.

Anyhow, whatever you decide to do, good luck to you in your progress. :-)

LoosingMyLast15

i love to bake and yes i bake for my husband. i have started to bake low fat/low calorie desserts for him though. at first i didn't even tell him. i wanted to make sure he was still enjoying the sweet desserts then i told him my little secret that the chocolate cupcakes he enjoys are in fact made with pumpkin puree and flaxseed. he doesn't mind because he still thinks they're yummy. i even started baking healthy desserts for friends and coworkers. they love them.

ChitownFoodie

My boyfriend was over 100 pounds overweight, so about 265lbs. He lost a tremendous amount of weight and is now a healthy weight. That being said, he came from a household that fed him cakes, cookies, brownies, ice cream, Italian ice and candy every single day out of LOVE...and thats just the sweets. Even though I love him, I won't even tempt him with baking cookies, making unhealthy food, etc. If he wants it, he bakes or cooks it himself. I came from a household that cooked healthy (household of chefs, nurses, doctors and dieticians), so I have a whole different view of what cooking out of love looks like. And I have never been overweight, not even in the slightest.

I am not vilifying you, I am just giving you an example of what "love" cooking can do.

Don't get me wrong, we still have cake, cookies, muffins....but its limited and only when we both can enjoy it because whats the point of baking without enjoying it with someone you love. Plus, limiting it makes it more special when you can enjoy it together.

vtmoon

As a guy I used to eat whatever my lady made cause in my mind she worked hard on it and it's the least I could do to show support even if I didn't want to. Also being brought up to say yes when you are offered something by a host to avoid being a rude guest. Now I regret a lot of my mindless eating of all those things but it was my fault for being part of the cycle.

I would stop making them or make them every now and then cause they might not be gaining weight but they might be developing diabetes ( not saying he is but it is a way too many sweets get skinny people too). If you like to make them you still can and just try to make them really healthy or even donate them to your local soup kitchen.

santini1975

yeah. guilty but my husband has a hard time keeping weight ON, so it's harmless. Last night I made a pina colada cake "for him". But of course I tasted a little here and there to make sure the flavor was right

lobster888

I never really thought about this until I read the thread. I consisitantly cook healthy and have healthy food snacks in the house. I am always watching what I eat. I my husband was single for a long time and eat what he wanted. Because he likes his "cheat or unhealthy foods" still I try to provise some homemade "cheat or unhealthy foods" Most of the time I eat just a little and expect him to finish the rest.... But he is very healthy and workouts ... so I think I really do it so that his unhealthy food is as healthy as it can be.

Example - I will make healthy oatmeal cookies (with real oats- whole wheat flour and cocunut oil) rather than store bought cookie. But I do expect him to eat his unhealthy foods he brings home so I don't LOL!!! Well, my son helps him!!

DenyseMarieL

I am guilty as charged. My husband must have a naturally high metabolism because he can eat what he wants, whenever he wants, and has maybe put on 5-10 lbs in the last 12 yrs. I do buy the chips, dip, ice cream, sodas, etc, ......all for him, because I rarely eat any of that. I can't force him to eat like I do, even though I have snuck in some healthy stuff. Whole wheat pasta, whole grain breads, fat free/low fat salad dressings, light soups and mayo. He doesn't complain. As long as he gets his chips with dip.

issystclaire

Not to go off topic here - but I am bit concerned over some of the people who have said things like "he never gains weight, so it's ok." Being healthy is not just about weight - it is about what you are putting into your body. Even if someone doesn't gain weight, eating sugar and other not so healthy things, too much of the time, will still have adverse health effects if done so for long periods of time.

I have loads of guy friends who eat lots of junk and fast food, and they say "well I never gain weight, so it's fine." No it's not! The old adage here proves true: "garbage in, garbage out".

Troll

I luff my fiance....and i bake him cookies....then i eat them.

his metabolism is great. i cook whatever he wants

EnchantedEvening

My boyfriend has a crazy sweet tooth, and I love to bake but don't care for sweet stuff. I bake simply because I love baking, and it's nice to have someone to bake for.

Whenever I make something I think I'll like, I just have a couple bites, and then he eats the rest. If it's too much for him (an entire cake, for example), I'll cut off a portion for him and bring the rest to work. If I'm baking cookies, I often make three or four dozen so I can keep a dozen at home and then bring the rest to work.

Sometimes, if I'm at the store, I pick up a treat for him. If he were trying to lose weight or diabetic, I wouldn't do any of that out of respect for his health.

EnchantedEvening

Not to go off topic here - but I am bit concerned over some of the people who have said things like "he never gains weight, so it's ok." Being healthy is not just about weight - it is about what you are putting into your body. Even if someone doesn't gain weight, eating sugar and other not so healthy things, too much of the time, will still have adverse health effects if done so for long periods of time.

I have loads of guy friends who eat lots of junk and fast food, and they say "well I never gain weight, so it's fine." No it's not! The old adage here proves true: "garbage in, garbage out".

Baking cookies for someone doesn't mean they're going to eat the entire dozen in one sitting, though. When I bake cookies or a cake, my boyfriend has a couple cookies after dinner. He eats it like any other treat - in moderation. If he had a binging disorder, I wouldn't bake anything.

That said, he's 38 years old and can make his own decisions. Even if I didn't bake anything, he could always stop at Dairy Queen on the way home from work. It's not like I'm enabling or encouraging bad behavior. I'd rather have him eat a couple homemade cookies every day than some crap from Dunkin Donuts.

MostlyWater

make stuff that only he likes, so it won't tempt you.

fallenoaks

Perhaps you could turn your love of baking into some volunteer work. For example, the hospice in my city occassionally looks for volunteers to bake treats to have on hand for the families and visitors of the patients. Also, a church in my neighborhood hosts an annual holiday cookie walk and donates the proceeds to charity. They're always looking for people to make a few dozen cookies to donate.

vtmoon

Not to go off topic here - but I am bit concerned over some of the people who have said things like "he never gains weight, so it's ok." Being healthy is not just about weight - it is about what you are putting into your body. Even if someone doesn't gain weight, eating sugar and other not so healthy things, too much of the time, will still have adverse health effects if done so for long periods of time.

I have loads of guy friends who eat lots of junk and fast food, and they say "well I never gain weight, so it's fine." No it's not! The old adage here proves true: "garbage in, garbage out".

Baking cookies for someone doesn't mean they're going to eat the entire dozen in one sitting, though. When I bake cookies or a cake, my boyfriend has a couple cookies after dinner. He eats it like any other treat - in moderation. If he had a binging disorder, I wouldn't bake anything.

That said, he's 38 years old and can make his own decisions. Even if I didn't bake anything, he could always stop at Dairy Queen on the way home from work. It's not like I'm enabling or encouraging bad behavior. I'd rather have him eat a couple homemade cookies every day than some crap from Dunkin Donuts.

Convince is the biggest thing, we will eat it if it's around Dunkin Donuts requires driving there. I know I struggled with grazing mainly cause goodies were readily available. Again he is a grown man but a supportive environment with less temptation helps a lot.

belladonna786

LOL no. I bake lots of yummy things, but they are all healthy so we can enjoy them together.

lizbutt70

I do too, but my hubband is underweight, so I'm always slipping protein and sugar into his foods.

Espressocycle

I'd like my lady to gain 10 lbs, so I guess i should be doing this.

BSchoberg

I will admit to cooking really delish meals for my husband because it makes him happy.

He loves curries, roasts, steaks, etc etc etc...You know, all those things we "shouldn't" have.

Like you I don't do it to make him fat, or sabotage any diets I just want him to be happy and not be "stuck" eating all the diet foods that he really doesn't like but I need to be eating right now.

Oh goodness.... I eat all of those delicious meals! If those are "bad" for me, then I eat horribly! I don't eat "diet" foods and I don't think anyone should if this is intended to be a lifestyle. Steak and curry and roasts are not bad for you!

THANK you... take my protein at the risk of your own hand! lol

dswolverine

I do that all the time, but my fiance is skinny as a stick and never gains any weight anyway.

this! he's so skinny he eats whatever he wants

paul7799

Anyone who wants to make me food is welcome to.