New & Ashamed.

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  • controlkeys
    controlkeys Posts: 9
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    Thank you all for lovely words and some really good advice. I am, for those who were wondering, both taking medicine and talking to a psychologist. I'm getting there.. I can't really explain how much it means to me reading things like this, I don't want people to feel sorry for me or look down at me or such, I just really appreciate when people see me for what I am. A person. Or, well, right now I might be more of a pathetic excuse for a person, but still..

    And everyone, just wow, good luck to those who just started (like me) and keep the good work up to all of you that have been doing this for a while. Thank you for believing in me, I believe in you all. You all are inspirations. :flowerforyou:
  • CassiusKnox
    CassiusKnox Posts: 305 Member
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    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: You can do it!!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    You have a beautiful soul - it kinda shines through. You are amongst friends here :smile:
  • sa11yjane
    sa11yjane Posts: 491 Member
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    It's great that you are talking to someone. I think that that will really help you on your journey and will make for a brighter and healthier future- both physically and mentally. Keep going x
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
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    You really can do it. I've lost 119 using MFP. Here's some pointers to help in getting started:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/truth-justice-and-the-mfp-way-a-primer-for-beginners-422837
  • hbm616
    hbm616 Posts: 377 Member
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    A good way to start is to just track everything without necessarily trying to change what you are eating. This can be very eye-opening for someone just starting out. It allows you to see how many calories your favorite foods have and also helps you begin to think about portion sizes. Just tracking for a week or two should yield some results by making you more aware. Once you get comfortable with logging you can work towards making better choices and figuring out what a good calorie goal is for your body. At any time, preferably sooner rather than later, you should start exercising. Just move more. Take a walk, clean the house, lift some weights, anything will work at this point.

    And please, don't be ashamed. You are making great strides for your health and well-being just by logging into MFP. Set small goals and before you know it you will be closer and closer to your ultimate goal.
  • bodiva88
    bodiva88 Posts: 308 Member
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    No shame. It's pointless and stands in your way.

    Set a realistic goal. Set a realistic timeline (when I started, I told myself it may take 3 years, but it will happen slowly, steadily, and will stay off if I do it that way). And as others have said, set interim goals and rewards for them. When I get to x I'll y. (When I get to 250 I'll take the horseback tour of Gettysburg battlefield, for example. Because that's the weight limit for that thing I really want to do.)

    And be honest with yourself and others. You are changing your lifestyle. Not dieting. You are on a lifetime plan to be healthy, fit, and strong.

    Good luck to you!
  • BossSauce69
    BossSauce69 Posts: 33
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    Most people on here aren't happy with how they look, but in my personal experience shame has been an enemy of progress. Take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other. You've already made the hardest step by getting started here. I look forward to seeing your progress.
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
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    You can definitely do this! Start by setting attainable goals and make small, sustainable changes in your lifestyle until you achieve them. MFP is a great tool for tracking calories and exercise - it will work for you too!
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
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    Don't be ashamed. Be proud of yourself for acknowledging that you need to get healthy. I am in the same boat. Up down up dow. Right now up. UGGGGGGGGGGGG.

    Take small steps.

    My promise to myself. Tomorrow up at 5am to exercise and healthy smaller portions. I have done it before and can do it again.


    Just remember if this was easy no one would have weight issues.

    Good luck my friend.

    Add me if you want.
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
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    Stop thinking about it as such a huge and impossible task. It's not.

    First, stop worrying about dieting. Just start eating cleaner. Whole vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and lots and lots of greens. ONE fastfood hamburger (or any other junk) isn't going to kill you, but eating it every day will. Let MFP set up your macronutrients (although I find it way too sodium and carb heavy).

    Stay close to your calorie allowances. A common error is thinking "If it tells me to eat 1200 I'll just eat 900 and lose weight faster".... NO! It doesn't work that way.

    Set smaller goals. Thinking about losing 132 lbs is overwhelming and scary. Concentrate on 10 - 20 lbs at a time. When you're 12lbs in to a 20 lb goal it's a lot easier to say no to something that will derail you and undo what you've accomplished.

    If you swallow it, log it. If it's going to go into your mouth weigh it and measure it (giggity) so you're logging it correctly. I know I had a REALLY messed up view of what one servings looked like and if I stop measuring for any length of time my servings get bigger and bigger after a while.

    Move your *kitten*. It will hurt and be uncomfortable and sweaty and gross at first but woman up and push through it. "It's raining" "I'm tired after work" "I had such a busy day" "I don't have time" .... All are bull**** excuses that packed on 132 lbs of pure fat. stop making them and move your *kitten*.

    Stop weighing yourself every day. I have WEEKS at a time I don't lose anything and suddenly I'll drop 4 o 5 lbs in a few days time. If you are just going to get frustrated every time you step on the scale stop doing it. It will just derail you.

    Don't try to rush the weight loss. Enjoy the journey. Keep looking for the smal NSVs (non scale victories). The first time you have to roll the c ar seat forward because your belly isn't in the way anymore. The first time you can bend over and tie your shoes without feeling like you're going to suffocate. The first time you are able to RUN up a flight of stairs and not be winded. The first time you realize you don't HAVE to park in the closest spot because walking the 200 extra feet just isn't a big deal. The first time you feel your hip bone (or ribs, or collarbone, or ankles, or whatever bone you haven't seen in a decade). The first time you realize that carrots are really quite sweet and processed candy is TOO sweet. The first time you can walk into a regular store and shop..instead of going to the big girl store or ordering online.

    Come up to an alternative to food. Chances are good you eat when stressed or upset or to celebrate. Come up with an alternative. If you eat while watching TV...start doing puzzles instead. If you eat when stressed find some sort of outlet like walking or cycling.

    Be proud of you. Each time you eat something healthy or turn down something UNhealthy be proud of yourself. You will be AMAZED at your bodies ability to repair the huge amounts of damage your bad eating has done to it over the years. Be proud of the person you are evolving in to.
  • AngelicxAnnihilation
    AngelicxAnnihilation Posts: 336 Member
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    Hello. I'm new to this site, or I've had it for a while but never used it.

    So, after stepping on the scale today I just.. I've had it. I can't let it go on like this, I need to lose so horribly much weight. I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a couple of years and due to this gained a lot (and I've never been healthy). I'm ashamed of myself, and I'm also scared to fail. But, I have no future like this and I want a life. I wanna be beautiful and be that girl that I feel I am inside.

    My goal is to lose about 60 kgs (132 lbs) which is like, so bloody much. I've let my eating habits take control over me, and I just wanna get that control back again. I also wish to be called beautiful, to have someone look up to me and to look good in a bikini. I'm young, I'm supposed to wanna show of my body but right now I'm even scared of seeing it myself.
    But yeah.. My biggest goal? It's just to learn to accept myself.

    Even if you don't look how you have imagined and your overweight you're still beautiful. I look up to you just for admitting you have to take control and you're going to make a change because it's a hard step but you're well on your way. As long as you want to accomplish this you will! Stay strong and push through this!
  • SummerLovesPhil
    SummerLovesPhil Posts: 242 Member
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    Hello. I'm new to this site, or I've had it for a while but never used it.

    So, after stepping on the scale today I just.. I've had it. I can't let it go on like this, I need to lose so horribly much weight. I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a couple of years and due to this gained a lot (and I've never been healthy). I'm ashamed of myself, and I'm also scared to fail. But, I have no future like this and I want a life. I wanna be beautiful and be that girl that I feel I am inside.

    My goal is to lose about 60 kgs (132 lbs) which is like, so bloody much. I've let my eating habits take control over me, and I just wanna get that control back again. I also wish to be called beautiful, to have someone look up to me and to look good in a bikini. I'm young, I'm supposed to wanna show of my body but right now I'm even scared of seeing it myself.
    But yeah.. My biggest goal? It's just to learn to accept myself.

    There is a big lie that is told to women throughout the world. The Lie is used to sell everything from lipstick to liposuction, and women are so used to it that they hardly buy anything without it. Are you ready? Here's The Lie: IF YOU CHANGE SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR BODY, PEOPLE WILL LIKE YOU AND YOU WILL LIKE YOURSELF. Stop and think of how many times a day you get that message.

    Now here's the good news: IF YOU CAN SEE THROUGH THE LIE, THE LIE LOSES ITS POWER. Sure, it can take a while, but the only way to short-circut the lie is to love yourself unconditionally. That has to start today, not 60 kg from now. In turn, loving yourself will help you start treating your body well, one good choice at a time.

    This story I'm telling you has come to me through many years of hard knocks and self-abuse. I've been as high as 235 lbs and as low as 98. The self-hatred only got worse as I got thinner, because I had convinced myself that my body was a vile, base animal andnot a part of me. I had convinced myself that it was OK and expected for other people to judge me on the size and shape of my body. It isn't.

    For now, focus on eating good foods instead of avoiding bad ones. When you eat a great meal or exercise even a little, think of giving your body a gift it deserves.

    Much luck and good health to you,
    Summer
  • LJCannon
    LJCannon Posts: 3,636 Member
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    :flowerforyou: Welcome to MFP!!

    STEP ONE:
    Focus on what your Body CAN DO! When you love and appreciate your Body, you will want to do things that are Good For It.
  • lynettev005
    lynettev005 Posts: 4
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    I know that it may feel like a lot but I totally understand you I feel the same way I reached a weight that I was disgusted by I have a boyfriend of almost 5 years but no matter how many times he calls me beautiful I do no feel that I am so I decided to change my eating habits and started drinking herbalife products and they have been working I always used to quit diets because I would not see results fast enough but it takes time I have lost 10 pds in about 2 weeks and have registered myself for a 5k race December 1st to motivate myself into keeping healthy and working out ! It takes time but I am sure with hard work and dedication you will get there you just really have to want it and not give up !!!
  • CassiusKnox
    CassiusKnox Posts: 305 Member
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    Stop thinking about it as such a huge and impossible task. It's not.

    ..................

    Be proud of you. Each time you eat something healthy or turn down something UNhealthy be proud of yourself. You will be AMAZED at your bodies ability to repair the huge amounts of damage your bad eating has done to it over the years. Be proud of the person you are evolving in to.

    ^^^^ What an awesome post. You win post of the week :drinker:

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