How do you handle fat jokes?

2

Replies

  • Jongfaith
    Jongfaith Posts: 195
    I was hoping this was a thread about fat jokes... drat its not! Heard a great one the other day. I wont share because that would just be insensetive at this point.

    Sorry you work with a douch who somehow didn't realize how douchey it is to call somebody a fat butt and that douch just happens to be managment. Aren't they always?

    Just try to deal with him without punching him because at this point he knows he offended ya and will probably be extra nice from now on. Even managment hate harassment charges.

    Good luck with the not puching him!
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    First of all, I'm glad you said something to him. His comment was completely inappropriate for the workplace. Unfortunately...calling your superior (you did mention he's management? so...your boss/supervisor?) an a-hole is usually not gonna bode well for your next review...I don't know what kind of business you work in, but both his comment and yours were completely unprofessional. In my workplace both comments would be grounds for dismissal, I think (I dunno...my male coworkers don't call the female coworkers names, even as a joke, we work in an office).

    I would hope he would apologize to you for his remark...but I wouldn't go around telling him he's an a-hole, either. Is there any kind of upper management you could talk to?

    PS Whoever said that teasing is a man's way of showing he likes you...maybe if you're six years old. Not in a work environment.
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    You are making way to big a deal about it.
  • slrose
    slrose Posts: 164 Member
    i think you responded perfectly

    you were not rude and you stood up for yourself
  • JustRenea
    JustRenea Posts: 82 Member
    I get fat jokes from kids...i work with them (babysitting/volunteering) ...it hurts but with kids i just take it because they're kids.... tho today My sister, who works at a fast food place, asked her manager (top manager) to do her a favor...and her manager said to another employee "sure I'll do her a favor so she can go stuff her face with food" ...not appropriate at the work place at all v.v
  • CressidaJL
    CressidaJL Posts: 53 Member
    I think it's good he recognised he'd crossed a line, and apologised. There's no need for you to insult back.


    ^^ THIS ^^

    You made it clear you were offended. The lameness of his apology was probably because he was embarrassed to be honest... chances are he didn't expect you to take it to heart. Forget about it, move on with your life. x

    (NOTE: unless it becomes a regular thing, and then you're talking about bullying & workplace harassment, but from what you described, it sounded like this is a one-off.)
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
    So he humiliated you because he spoke without thinking and apologized but that's not enough, now you purposely want him to feel humiliated in return? Not very nice either sweetie. Let it go.
  • rlwinton
    rlwinton Posts: 101
    I think you handled it GREAT! And don't fall short of standing up for yourself! Too many of us put up with that kind of lame behavior and you handled it well. Keep it up, and remember to never feel bad or second guess yourself for voicing your truth!
  • emcdonie
    emcdonie Posts: 190 Member
    My take is a bit different. I doubt he put a lot of thought into the words before he said them. However, he was wrong, and if it were me and it hit me in the wrong mood I might have even cried. (Admittedly I cry easily though)

    Your reaction was understandable too. But, again from the angle of "if it were me", I would not ask for an apology. I would catch him alone, and say hey....I am sorry for getting angry with you over what you likely meant a silly joke. However, you really and truly embarrassed me and hurt my feelings deeply. But regardless, I know you likely didn't mean it, so I just wanted to apologize for my very sensitive reaction. It is an issue that means a lot to me, and I can't help but take something like that quite personal, especially when others overheard it.

    i.e. Even though HE was in the wrong initially, I would focus on analyzing my OWN behavior and focus on my reply. In the end all I can really do... is control me and my response toward others.

    How I react to others is a big deal to me. My personal code of conduct is to treat others how I wish to be treated along with forgiving them for their misdeeds towards me.

    I know most might scoff at this, but again, it is what "I" would do.

    I also think with a gentle approach like that, you have the best chance of really reaching his heart for him to see that what he did was very hurtful. Likely as not, he would apologize and it would be a sincere one. Even if he doesn't, your conscience would be clear either way.
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
    When guys tease, it's because they like you.

    That's what my 2nd grade teacher told me. I'm pretty sure we're talking about adults here.

    ^^Totally agree ^^. This is a workplace!
    I wasn't accusing him of being mature.
  • Sarah_Wins
    Sarah_Wins Posts: 936 Member
    You are making way to big a deal about it.

    Not helpful.. GO AWAY! :angry:
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
    The other day in the gym after I had finished lifting, I had a guy say to me, "No matter what you lift you will always be a cow." To which I replied with, " I may be a cow but you are such a big d*ck that you must actually have a small d*ck in those shorts!"

    Oh my goodness. Are you serious? Why do people just randomly say crap like this?
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
    Whatever you do, do NOT swing back with another insult. That just feeds the fire. If they see insulting each other as fun, then they will think you took it playfully and that it's ok to say things like that again.

    The best thing to do is to stop razzing each other until they realize that a line was crossed, which is exactly what you did.

    Personally, I would have accepted the apology, but I do see why you told him to do it in front of the other guys. Everyone needs to know that it's not ok to make fat jokes.
  • Frozen300
    Frozen300 Posts: 223 Member
    You are making way to big a deal about it.

    Not helpful.. GO AWAY! :angry:

    Yeah buddy, if you have a different opinion, you know where the door is.
  • Frozen300
    Frozen300 Posts: 223 Member
    Hell, now that I think about it, I never got myself serious about losing weight until my co-workers started "bullying" me about it. Now I've dropped over 35 lbs and now they rag me about how my saggy uniform makes me look like a kid playing dress up. It's all up to you how to take it.
  • lyttlewon
    lyttlewon Posts: 1,118 Member
    I would probably agree with him, in this context.

    "Gotta fat butt, gonna go feed it."

    You said they like you so it probably wasn't intended to upset you so much.
  • mjrkearney
    mjrkearney Posts: 408 Member
    Some people are never going to get it. Joking or not, there are some punches you just don't throw if you don't want a reaction.
  • sandylion
    sandylion Posts: 451 Member
    I think you handled it well to be honest. I bet he doesn't do it again, cause you totally called him out.
  • citizencrp
    citizencrp Posts: 228 Member
    I like your response, and I'm putting it in my pocket for future reference.
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
    um I think you handled it fine. a lady was mean to me at the Y today and since I've never been one to be bullied I let her know she was wrong for what she said. I could tell she felt about an inch tall after that but people should learn words can hurt and watch what they say.

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