unsupportive spouse of food allergy diet

zenchild

If you want him to cook things you can eat, stock things you can eat. My husband and I plan a menu ever weekend and that's what we cook during the week. Make a list of 5 things you can eat, buy the ingredients for those 5 things and that's what you have for dinner. If you don't want to force the kids to go wheat/gluten free all the time, make a few things for yourself and freeze them in individual portions so when you get home, you can just pop it in the microwave.
I actually do that a lot during the winter. I spend a good portion of Sunday cooking and I can make 2 weeks of meals in one afternoon. I can do black bean soup, turkey chili, lentils and chicken noodle soup on the stove and a roast in the oven all at the same time. I portion them out into containers for dinners and lunches and we're set for a couple weeks. This works especially well with soups because they just get better after a few days.

LelliAmi

Tell him that it's an ALLERGY, not a matter of being picky, or some crazy fad. It's serious and it hurts you to eat it. He should understand that.

bikinibeliever

People didn't believe how bad my son's allergy to wheat was until he ended up in the hospital (a whole week). It's a hard thing to make people to understand.

Maybe you should ask him if he wants a happy wife (then smile, big) or ask him if he wants a miserable wife ( then look mean as hell while slamming something heavy). All men should know a happy wife brings many benefits. :laugh:

In all seriousness, good luck to you! I have a wheat intolerance, glad it's not an allergy because I love my wheat!

MB_Positif

Trust me when I say this. He just doesn't think about it. My son is allergic to milk and eggs and my husband will look at me like I have 3 heads when I come home and he's made lasagna or something and I say that our son can't have it. On top of that people just don't think of what's in stuff. A zillion times people ask if my son can have ice cream and I have to say, "Ice cream is made with milk." I mean, really? It's frustrating, but over time he'll get used to it...although my son is 6 1/2 and my husband still doesn't consider him when he is planning a meal. I always have to step in and come up with something for our son to eat!

florymonde

Another idea - can you plan the weekly menu and ask him to cook what is on the plan? I just started with a gluten-free diet and have been trying to do that to keep the peace...

I think this is a great idea. I wouldn't be surprised if he just puts off planning, and then makes something easy. (Done it myself many times!) But if he has a plan to follow, and you make sure the ingredients are in the house, you've made it easy for him to accommodate your needs. And, keep a few meals in the freezer ready to go for when something happens and he can't stick to the plan!

alaskaang

Easiest solution is to remove the things you can't eat from the house. There are plenty of gluten/wheat free alternatives especially for things like mac n cheese and flavored rice.

CarmenSRT

It's difficult for many people to keep up with what food items contain wheat and/or gluten. Probably easier to either segregate those items, mark them clearly somehow or remove them altogether. I'd be surprised if there's any negative reasoning behind your husband's behavior.

sarahrbraun

Men can be idiots. Sometimes you have to treat them like 3 year olds and tell them exactly what you want them to do.

Would you like if a man posted "women can be idiots..."? No. This is not ok.

I love my husband, I really do...but after 18 years with him, I think I can definitively say that sometimes he CAN be an idiot. He is brilliant when it comes to some things, but sometimes he doesn't *get* relationship stuff. Several years ago he went on a winter camping trip ON my birthday. he didn't understand why I was mad that he had time to go to walmart and get our son gloves ( which required walking RIGHT by the card department) but "didn't have time" to take 2 minutes to at least grab a card to acknowledge that my birthday was taking place.

I never said "all men are idiots" ...I said " men CAN be idiots" . If someone wanted to say "women can be idiots" I wouldn't worry. because I know I am not an idiot.

fittocycle

People have given you some great ideas and suggestions. I have one other idea for you.

Create a binder of gluten free recipes that are relatively quick and easy to prepare. Ask him to use the "cookbook" as a reference for making dinner.

When my two boys left home, I put together a collection of simple, easy recipes. My youngest son rooms with three other guys in college and they use the "cookbook" all the time. Believe it or not, they cook from scratch!

Chances are, your husband isn't in the habit of thinking in terms of having a wheat or gluten allergy. I've been eating gluten free for over six months and my hubby will still suggest we go out for pizza ever now and then!:noway: He isn't being inconsiderate-he just doesn't remember.

lyttlewon

Stop buying food with gluten in it.

KeriW626

I agree, make your home a gluten free home. IF you dont have it he cannot cook it... chances are if you have an allergy so will some if not all of your children.

gddrdld

He's cooking for the kids, not you, it sounds like. I make my own dinner.

But I wonder what's wrong with Rice A Roni? Rice isn't wheat. Does that brand have gluten in it?

Also, wheat and gluten aren't exactly the same thing ... Wheat contains gluten, but a wheat allergy is not the same as a gluten allergy.

The "Roni" part of that dish is wheat pasta...Rice A Roni...

runnermama81

While i think not buying wheat is good in theory, it would not work for my household or budget. Thanks to those of you who had helpful suggestions. I really just needed to vent my frustrations.

lyttlewon

While i think not buying wheat is good in theory, it would not work for my household or budget. Thanks to those of you who had helpful suggestions. I really just needed to vent my frustrations.

How does not buying something hurt your budget? Is that because you are wanting to buy fake gluten products like gluten free pastas? There are tons of alternatives without having to use gluten free products. My kids absolutely love home made mac n cheese made with quinoa instead of pasta.

If you have a true allergy I would be concerned keeping these products in your house, where they can contaminate your food. You can become more sensitive to allergens if you continue to expose yourself to them. I have a peanut free household because of my son's peanut allergy.

runnermama81

While i think not buying wheat is good in theory, it would not work for my household or budget. Thanks to those of you who had helpful suggestions. I really just needed to vent my frustrations.

How does not buying something hurt your budget? Is that because you are wanting to buy fake gluten products like gluten free pastas? There are tons of alternatives without having to use gluten free products. My kids absolutely love home made mac n cheese made with quinoa instead of pasta.

If you have a true allergy I would be concerned keeping these products in your house, where they can contaminate your food. You can become more sensitive to allergens if you continue to expose yourself to them. I have a peanut free household because of my son's peanut allergy.

Ok, a peanut allergy thats life threatening is a little different from getting a headache. I could say a lot about this post but I am tired. So I will sum it up and say you obviously dont get it either. I wish people who were just going to say judgmental stuff and not be helpful would not bother posting.

lyttlewon

While i think not buying wheat is good in theory, it would not work for my household or budget. Thanks to those of you who had helpful suggestions. I really just needed to vent my frustrations.

How does not buying something hurt your budget? Is that because you are wanting to buy fake gluten products like gluten free pastas? There are tons of alternatives without having to use gluten free products. My kids absolutely love home made mac n cheese made with quinoa instead of pasta.

If you have a true allergy I would be concerned keeping these products in your house, where they can contaminate your food. You can become more sensitive to allergens if you continue to expose yourself to them. I have a peanut free household because of my son's peanut allergy.

Ok, a peanut allergy thats life threatening is a little different from getting a headache. I could say a lot about this post but I am tired. So I will sum it up and say you obviously dont get it either. I wish people who were just going to say judgmental stuff and not be helpful would not bother posting.

I wasn't judging you. I understand way more than you know from my short paragraph. I never said my son's allergy was life threatening, just that if you continue to expose your body to something it considers threatening, it may increase from a headache to something worse.

jenilla1

You can TOTALLY have mac and cheese! I sometimes use a brown rice and corn blend (gluten free) pasta and it tastes great and has a normal pasta texture. My husband couldn't tell the difference when we had spaghetti the other night. He is very understanding of my food sensitivities and goes out of his way to help me out when he can. Who does the food shopping? Just don't buy products with gluten and/or get used to the idea that it's your allergy so you have to go out of your way to take care of it - that may mean cooking for yourself. :flowerforyou:

Ready2Rock206

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Gentyl

It's true.. going gluten-free can be expensive. There are other things in wheat besides the gluten that can cause allergies, as well. And, it's not just in wheat.. it's in corn, soy beans, and a myriad of other items. So, I do feel for your situation. Something you can do is to make a bunch of hard boiled eggs for just before you get home (an ounce of hard cheese will also be good).. those will satiate your hunger and give you energy so that you can prepare something for yourself that will make you feel great. A BLT with mayonnaise wrapped in romaine lettuce instead of the bread is also a very simple and low calorie meal you may enjoy (inexpensive) -- maybe some crystal light on the side for something sweet. You may find that you will not eat as much as you are now as you will be increasing your fat and protein intake while lowering your calorie intake overall. I have lost a ton of weight doing this.

Men are wired differently than women. We continually get frustrated year after year about the same exact things. Being frustrated and disappointed continuously about something that is so very important to us is really no way to live. Be more accepting and let it go. Don't waste your life being angry because that just leads to bitterness, and that is no way to live. Love him, love your children, but above all.. please love yourself. It doesn't have to be one or the other. In time, he will love and respect you for it.. if you do it peacefully. Be long-suffering, patient, loving with grace, elegance, and class always. It will add to your life and your character more than you will ever know.

mulderpf

I recently found out that a wheat allergy is probably causing migraines I have had most my life.

Probably or definitely? Also, your symptoms don't sound like a wheat allergy, rather a wheat intolerance.